_{Call Me JB Hyung : Sequel Chapter 3}

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_{My phone woke me up the next morning once again, but I was more surprised to see that JB hyung was gone. My mom wanted me to get up, because if I continued to sleep any longer I wouldn't come see her like I promised.}

_{I sat on the bed for a little while before looking through my phone. I had a missed call from JB hyung. He sounded like he was in a rush as I listened to his voice mail telling me that he was called in to the the company early this morning and he would be a bit long.}

_{After listening to the voicemail, I sighed and yawned, staring around the room.}

_{"Coco-yah..." I mumbled. "Appa misses you. Let's go see you." I said yawning and stretching again.}

_{I sat on the bed for a few more minutes before finally getting up to go get ready and take the bus to see my mom.} 

_{An hour later and I sat in the bus wearing a mask, scarf, hat and padding jacket.} 

_{The bus ride was long. When JB hyung drives me home it's fast, but if I take the bus or anything else it takes almost a hour to get near my house.}

_{My mom opened the door with a wide smile on her face. She pulled me into a hug, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and pulled me inside as if we haven't seen each other in years. I just saw her the other day when JB hyung and I stopped by to drop off coco.}

_{"Coco-yah!" I yelled. Coco barked and ran towards me. I laughed and picked her up.}

_{"Appa is here." I said laughing.} 

_{"Come here. Why are you just standing in front of the door?" my mom said.}

_{I laughed some more as I was pushed into a seat and food was put in front of me. I didn't fight my mom and quickly began eating.}

_{"Dad is at work?" I asked.}

_{"He works even more now. I'm all alone." my mom replied sighing. She sat in a seat next to me smiling as she watched me eat.}

_{"But you have coco with you." I said. Coco barked and I patted her head and smiled.} 

_{"Coco-ah and I miss you." she said.} 

_{I stopped eating and glanced at her.}

_{"Mom...stop doing that." I whined.}

_{She laughed and patted my arm. "You should come back home Youngjae. It's an inconvenience for you to stay at Jaebum's apartment. You said you want to save money right?" she asked.}

_{"Actually I don't pay rent. I don't think JB hyung pays rent either. I think he made a deposit." I said glancing at her.}

_{She looked confused and surprised.}

_{"What type of job does Jaebum-ah have?" she asked wide eyed.}

_{"He works as a back-up dancer in a idol company now. He lived in the apartment with his uncle before. His uncle got married and moved to China." I replied.}

_{"Youngjae-yah. Are they rich?" she asked wide eyed. I almost choked laughing.} 

_{"Calm down, you will choke." she said. I continued laughing and slowed down my eating.}

_{"Mom. Why do you think that? JB hyung works really hard." I said.} 

_{"I don't think that's such a nice job to do but he's really hard working isn't he? To afford an apartment deposit...He must have a girlfriend. Maybe he wants to get married and start a family." she said staring at me.}

_{My heart already began beating fast when she said JB hyung's name. When my mom said a girlfriend my heart began beating faster and I lowered my head. My parents don't know. My family doesn't know. And I'm sure JB hyung's family also don't know. It's something that we can never say...at least not soon.} 

_{Maybe never.}

_{Instead of replying her about JB hyung having a girlfriend and wanting to get married and start a family, I replied about how hardworking he is.}

_{"JB hyung really is hardworking. That's why I want to get a good job too." I said, trying to change the topic.}

_{She stared at me for a while. She didn't say anything as I finished eating. Then she quickly took away my dishes and started washing them.}

_{It surprised me because she will usually make me do it.}

_{I watched her finish without telling me to take over, and then we were walking back to the couch and sitting down.} 

_{"Youngjae-ah?"}

_{"Hm?" I glanced at her. She didn't look at me but I could tell whatever she wanted to ask was something that would bother me.}

_{"There is something you aren't telling your mom? You have a girlfriend?" she suddenly asked.}

_{"Eh?" I said wide eyed.}

_{A warm hand slipped in my own and she smiled. "You can tell your mom. Don't worry I won't tell anyone. You finally found someone?" she asked.}

_{"Huh? Um..."}

_{Even though I've finished school and kind of moved out, somehow lying to my mom is still a bit of a problem for me. It's not like lying on the grade of a test or something, this is lying about something bigger than that.}

_{It's lying to her about my life.} 

_{"You have someone?" she asked me again. "It's okay. You are an adult now Youngjae. Choi Youngjae, it's good for you to get married and have children."}

_{My cheeks heated up. Already she is talking about a family and kids. I slipped my hand away for hers.}

_{"I don't have a girlfriend." I said, turning towards the TV, patting coco on the head and smiling down at her as she my hand.} 

_{"I know when you get embarrassed. You can't hide anything from your mom." she said laughing.}

_{"Mom. I don't have a girlfriend." I said again. "And I'm not getting married...that's...I'm still young. I haven't even done service. I still need to travel the world." I said trying to change the topic once again.} 

_{"I'm sure if I ask Jaebum-ah he will tell me. You never want to tell your mom anything. Should I call your brother?" she asked smiling wide.}

_{"I don't talk to him much. Even if I had a girlfriend he wouldn't know." I said embarrased.}

_{Yes I have a brother, but since he lives abroad, misses a lot of holidays and we rarely ever see him I never think about calling him. When he does call me we talk about new games though.} 

_{"I should call your sister?" she asked.}

_{"Don't bother her. I said I don't have a girlfriend. You know it's embrassing. I can't express myself well. Even hand holding is embarrassing sometimes..." I said again, this time lowering my head.}

_{Her hand slipped in mine again and she pulled me into a quick hug and even though I pulled away, she gave me two kisses on the cheek. "Mom..." I whined, pushing her away. She laughed.}

_{"Don't say that. You will find someone. Soon you will find someone you're not so embarrassed to do anything with." she said.}

_{JB hyung.}

_{I felt my face heating up.} 

_{"What are you thinking about now?" my mom smirked at me.}

_{"Mom!" I yelled getting up. She just laughed and I stared at her and walked away to get some water. Coco followed behind me, barking cutely as always. Her barks make me smile. She's so cute.}

_{Why did I think of JB hyung?}

_{"Youngjae-ah! Pick up coco. I told you she missed you!" my mom yelled.}

_{I laughed and kneeled down next to coco and picked her up. "You missed appa?" I asked her laughing. Coco just barked and my hand again. I brought her close to my face and made kissing faces at her. She barked again and my cheek.}

_{"Appa missed you too." I said laughing.}

_{"Youngjae-yah!" my mom yelled my name again.} 

_{I really can't move back home.}

_{I sighed and walked back to the couch she was sitting on. "Your phone." she handed me my phone. "Who is it?" I mouthed. "Jackson-ah. He says something about coming over to watch some more movies." my mom replied.}

_{I took my phone from her.}

_"Hello?"

_{"Yongjai!" Jackson yelled as usual. I know I'm loud but the next person who is loud is Jackson hyung. It makes me laugh when he says I'm so loud that I mess up his hearing.}

_{"Jackson hyung!" I yelled out his name too. "Hey. You know my hearing. I thought I'll almost lose the hearing." Jackson hyung said. I laughed loudly. He laughed too. "I have more movies." he said.}

_{"I'm not at JB hyung's apartment." I said.} 

_{"I know." Jackson replied. "I called him but he didn't pick up. He sent a text saying he's busy at the company. Everyone is busy so I only have Yongjai." Jackson said happily.}

_{I laughed. "Hyung...you know about the scary movies." I said. Even thinking about it made me shiver.}

_{"You're scared right? Just like your scared of cucumbers?" Jackson hyung laughed loudly.}

_{"Ok. Ok I'm the scared one. So I don't want to watch it." I said chuckling.}

_{"Are you at home?" Jackson asked. "I'm with my mom at home." I replied. "I'm hungry." Jackson suddenly whined. I laughed loudly and turned to my mom. "Jackson hyung is coming. He says he's hungry." I told her. Her smile widened and she stood up and dissapeared.}

_{"Mom is getting food ready for you." I said still laughing.}

_{Jackson hyung quickly hung up. It didn't take long for him to get to my house. I opened the door for him and he yelled out my name and pulled me into a hug. As common for Jackson hyung to do.}

_{"Jackson-ah." my mom said excited.} 

_{"Mom!" Jackson yelled, took of his shoes quickly, and ran towards my mom. It only made me laugh harder. Coco started barking and I closed the door and turned around to her playing with Jackson hyung's feet.} 

_{"It's so cold Jackson-ah. You should wear more. I put food on the table for you sit down. I'll go bring you one of Youngjae's scarfs. You need padding too. I'll bring padding." she said disappearing into my room.}  

_{I laughed at her and sat next to Jackson hyung. He was eating like he hasn't had a meal in a long time.}

_{"You don't have any work today hyung?" I asked him.} 

_{"I do..." Jackson replied. "...but since I'm a coach I get to leave early sometimes." he winked. Jackson hyung got a job in a fencing stadium as a coach. He always talked about how he was a major fencing athlete and his dad does fencing in China as well, so for him to get a job in fencing is something amazing.}

_{"Where's Mark hyung?" I asked.}

_{"At the restaurant." he replied. "He at least gets to eat there."}

_{Mark hyung also became one of of the bosses at a famous foreign restaurant in Gangnam. When he told us I was so surprised because even though he worked at a small restaurant near by when I was in high school, Mark hyung never cooked. He said he was bad at cooking, and now he's one of the bosses at a restaurant.} 

_{"Does Mark hyung make food at home?" I asked. Jackson nodded.}

_{I laughed and patted his shoulder. "At least you have food instead of pizza and chicken." I said laughing.} 

_{"Leader-sshi doesn't make his soup? By the way, you still live with JB-sshi?" Jackson asked.}

_{"Yeah." I replied.}

_{"You two even share the bed." Jackson said.}

_{I nodded. "Is it strange?" I asked chuckling.} 

_{"Isn't there two rooms in that apartment? Actually why don't you both look into apartments with two rooms? There's a place open where Mark and I live. The rent isn't so expensive." Jackson hyung said.}

_{"Youngjae should just move back in with his mom." my mom's voice surrounded the room and Jackson hyung laughed.}

_{"There's that too. If you don't move back I'll move here." he said.} 

_{"Come and keep me company." my mom said laughing. She put down two padding jackets and a heavy scarf. Recently she's been giving away the clothes I left at home. I sighed and laughed, picking up coco.}

_{"Jackson-ah, let mom ask you something about our Youngjae."}

_{I lifted my head up, already knowing what she was going to ask.}

_{"Mom." I said. She didn't look at me but patted Jackson hyung on the arm. "Tell me about Youngjae. He never wants to tell his mom anything. I think we should be hard on him again. I'll make you all the delicious food you want." she said.}

_{Jackson hyung laughed and looked at me.}

_{"What did he do? I'll tell you anything." he said.}

_{"Hyung!" I yelled and hit Jackson hyung on his chest. He looked at me and stuck his tongue out. "Because you keep hitting me even if I'm nice." he said. I chuckled lightly and listened.}

_{"Tell me. Our Youngjae-ah has a girlfriend?" my mom asked. A really short silence passed, where the TV only made noise.}

_{I think JB hyung has told me once that the guys know about us. I know Jr hyung knows a little, and I remember Jackson hyung doing some really suspicious things before as well, but I don't think Jackson hyung really knows. I don't think any of the guys besides Jr hyung really knows.}

_{Jackson hyung and I caught eyes during this silence.}

_{I chuckled nervously. "I don't. I don't have a girlfriend." I said.}

_{The short silence passed quickly and Jackson hyung started laughing loudly. "Mom. If Youngjae had a girlfriend I would know. Youngjae gets really embarrassed." he said.}

_{"I really don't have a girlfriend." I said.}

_{"But there's someone he's seeing. Ah, what do you call it? Dating. " my mom suddenly asked winking at Jackson hyung.}

_{I almost gasped. This time Jackson hyung didn't look at me, but his happy expression changed for a second and I caught it.}

_{He laughed again and grabbed my mom's hands. "If Youngjae has someone he really really likes, he hasn't told me mom. He doesn't tell his hyung either." he said to my mom.}

_{"So it seems I won't get any grandchildren soon." my mom said.}

_{"Mom. I'm not getting married right now." I said shocked that she would mention something like that in front of Jackson hyung.} 

_{"Mom! This food is really good. Please make me some to take home for Mark hyung too." Jackson hyung said.} 

_{It got my mom's attention off of the whole girlfriend thing. She lifted herself up excitedly. "Mark-ah works at the famous foreign restaurant in Gangnam now right?" she asked.}

_{"But mom's cooking is better. Actually Mark hyung doesn't cook so well." Jackson hyung said. My mom laughed and patted his head before disappearing into the kitchen.} 

_{I lowered my head and patted coco on the head. "I really can't move back." I said chuckling.} 

_{Jackson hyung didn't say anything. I watched him eating, playing with coco a little before getting up to go use the bathroom.} 

_{My mom came back a few minutes later with containers full of food. A lot of food. She is usually like this.}

_{"Mark-ah and Jackson-ah, this is for you two." she pointed at 3 big containers. "Youngjae-ah. Visit BamBamie and give him and his aunt some food. Maybe they haven't tried this one before." she looked happy.}

_{"I'll take it." Jackson hyung said.}

_{"And this is for you and Jaebum-ah. I added some kimchi. It's very fresh. It's very good." she said. "Thank you mom!" Jackson yelled. His eyes got wide. "Jackson-ah? You eat Chinese food right? Mom will make you some Chinese food soon." she said.}

_{"Hong Kong food?" Jackson asked. "Yes. On TV they show it. Mom will learn and makes some for you, so visit me more. Youngjae doesn't come see me. He won't leave Jaebum-ah's apartment either. He must really have a girlfriend." she said.}

_{"Mom..." I sighed and stood up. "...Bathroom." I said. Coco barked and started following me.} 

_{"Yongjai!" Jackson hyung suddenly yelled out my name. "Jackson hyung!" I yelled back laughing. He didn't say anything else so I continued to the bathroom.}

_{"Leader-sshi!"}

_{I walked back to find Jackson hyung talking on my phone with JB hyung I think. His bowls were gone and my mom was gone. Coco ran up to Jackson hyung and jumped on his lap. I sat next to him and stared at him.}

_{"I called to come over but you didn't pick up." Jackson hyung said. He looked at me and I mouthed JB hyung? Jackson hyung nodded.} 

_{"Huh? I don't think he minds. Hey Youngjae?" Jackson said. "Huh?" I stared at him. "Are you mad that I picked up your phone?" he asked. I stared at Jackson hyung.}

_{Ah, JB hyung thinks I'm mad?}

_{"No. Why would I be? I only get calls from you guys anyway." I said laughing.}

_{"See? He's not. It's just you worrying too much leader-sshi." Jackson said laughing.}

_{A short silence passed.} 

_{"Yeah. We're at his house. His mom made us some food." Jackson hyung said. He paused again and glanced at me once again. "He's sitting right here. You want to talk to him?" he asked.} 

_{I looked away and stared at the TV.}

_{"No? Yeah we're about to go over the apartment. Right Youngjae?" Jackson asked me and I turned to him and nodded. "But first we're going to stop by BamBam's house and give him some food." Jackson hyung said.}

_{"In a few hours? Okay. We'll be there. Yeah. You really don't want to talk to him?"} 

_{I looked away again.}

_{"Bye~" Jackson hyung said loudly. He turned off the call and handed me my phone.}

_{"Leader-sshi is coming home in a few hours." he said. "You want to go to BamBam's house to give him food and then go to the apartment?" Jackson hyung asked.} 

_{"He's coming here?" I asked.}

_{"Back to the apartment." Jackson replied. "Oh. Is this also leader-sshi's home?"} 

_{"Ah..." I chuckled at Jackson hyung's teasing.}

_{"I'll just stay and spend a little more time with my mom so she doesn't become angry at me again. Can you pick me up after you leave BamBam's apartment?" I asked.}

_{"Yeah. I'll call you and we'll go to the apartment." Jackson hyung stood up and stretched. He glanced at me and then turned around rushing to the kitchen.}

_{"Mom! I'll go give BamBam his food now. I'll drop my food at home too. Thank you mom! Your cooking is the best!" he yelled.}

_{My mom laughed. "No. Your mom's cooking is the best. I'm really close." she said laughing. I laughed with her and Jackson hyung.}

_{After my mom helped Jackson hyung put on one of my padding jackets and a scarf, I helped Jackson hyung to put all the food in his car, and he left, saying he will be back to pick me up in a hour. In that hour I got a text from JB hyung asking if he should buy food to eat. I told him not to and he replied he would be home in a few hours.}

_{My mom and I watched TV. We talked a little more about what I want to do with my future, then she told me to call my dad more.} 

_{When Jackson hyung arrived I quickly put on my padding jacket, put on my mask and scarf, picked up coco and hugged my mom before leaving, glad I already put the containers of food in the car.} 

_{"Is she sad?" Jackson hyung suddenly asked when I got inside the car.}

_{"Huh?" I turned to him. "You know...you should spend more time with her. I also miss my family a lot." he said.}

_{I nodded. When Jackson hyung gets serious it's a surprise all the time.} 

_{"Next time when you're not busy and I have money I'll take you and mom to visit my home and have a Hong Kong meal. You know my home has a big garden. We had a pool but now it's a really preety garden." Jackson hyung said.} 

_{"Really? Ah! Yes let's do that!" I yelled laughing loudly. "I've never been out of this country before hyung. One day I want to go to America and Africa." I said.}

_"Africa?" 

_{"Yes. I want to learn a lot about the world. I want to learn a lot about music therapy." I said smiling wide. Jackson hyung just smiled and nodded.} 

_{I looked down to see coco asleep on my lap.}

_{I chuckled and lightly patted her head.}  

_{"You know I know." Jackson hyung suddenly said. I turned to face him. "Huh? What did you say hyung?" I asked chuckling. I know he mumbled something.}

_{"Hey. What are you getting me for Christmas? It's almost here." Jackson suddenly asked.} 

_{"Ah. Christmas. But isn't a present for couples?" I asked laughing. "In LA people give presents to each other. You know, in America it's not a couple day." Jackson hyung replied. "Mark hyung is giving me a gift and I'm getting him a gift."} 

_{I laughed.}

_{"Ah, I see. What do you want Jackson hyung?" I asked.}

_{He quickly glanced at me. "Don't ask me. Look at me. What would I want?" he asked me.}

_{I laughed. "I know what BamBam wants." I said.}

_{"I'm not that expensive." Jackson replied laughing.}

_{"Ah. Ah I know." I said. "You know?" he asked. "Yes. I know what I will get you." I said. "I know what to get you too." he quickly replied. "Really?" I asked. "Yes. But let's give the presents a few weeks before Christmas because I'm going back home to visit."}

_{"Really?" I asked again.}

_{"Yes." he replied in English.} 

_{I laughed. "That's great! You can see your mom now." I said.}

_{"I'm happy to see my parents." Jackson said. He had an unfamiliar smile on his face. I could tell it's a smile he only has for his family. Jackson hyung is of course a family man.} 

_{"Maybe JB hyung will also go see his parents. He never talks about them but at the homecoming party I saw he really cares about his mom." I said.}

_{A short silence passed.} 

_{"By the way..."} 

_{"Hm?" I turned to face Jackson hyung. He kept his eyes straight on the road.}

_{"By the way, you two are in that kind of relationship no?" he suddenly asked. It took me a second to understand who he was talking about.}

_{When I realized, I stared at him shocked. About JB hyung and I, I know that Jr hyung knows a lot, Jackson hyung knows a little maybe and BamBam, Mark hyung, and Yugyeom probably don't know anything.}

_{To hear Jackson hyung suddenly ask me about the relationship between JB hyung and I made me freeze.}

_{What do I say?}

_{"Youngjae." Jackson said my name and I laughed nervously. "Eh? Wh-what are you saying hyung?" I asked still shocked. I've never imagined what to say or do if someone were to ever ask me. No one would ever ask because it's...it's something that can't happen.}

_{Not even Jr hyung has really asked, even though I sometimes talk to him about it.}

_{I think JB hyung and I hide it really well...so why is Jackson hyung suddenly asking?}

_{I suddenly hoped he didn't hear my heart beating so fast as I tried to think of something to say or do that would make him stop talking about it.}

_{"That's what it is right? For three years...or is it more? No because we all met you four years ago. Unless there was already a relationship when leader-sshi introduced us to you. But you were really young then so I don't think so." he said.}

_{I just stared.}

_{"You can tell me." Jackson hyung said.}

_{I chuckled nervously. "T-tell you what?" I asked.}

_{"I noticed how JB-sshi treats you. In fact he treats you differently from all of us." Jackson laughed. I nervously laughed with him, this time staring out the window.} 

_{"No one treats a friend like leader-sshi treats you. I can tell he favors you a lot." Jackson said. Once again, he rarely gets so serious, but when he does it always does surprises me. Like when Mark hyung suddenly yells.} 

_{"Ah, not really...JB hyung likes all of us. He doesn't do any favoring. Why would he do any favoring for me?" I paused and lowered my head.}

_{"JB hyung doesn't favor me. I think...I think I favor him more. Don't you think Jackson hyung?" I asked, embarrassed at my own words. Jackson didn't reply and I quickly tried to think of something to say.}

_{"About your present hyung, I-"} 

_{"Is it because you're embarrassed Youngjae?" Jackson hyung suddenly asked. I stopped talking and stared at the side of his face, glad he couldn't look at me because of driving.}

_{What should I say?}

_{Jackson hyung suddenly sighed and chuckled.} 

_{What if Jackson hyung stops calling JB hyung leader? What if Jackson hyung is disgusted by this? I can't let that happen to JB hyung. Jackson hyung really respects JB hyung. What should I say?}

_{My hands started moving on their own quickly. Usually when I get nervous I play with my hands a lot, but this time my hands started shaking. My hands started feeling sticky from the sweat from me being nervous and scared at the same time.} 

_{"Jackson hyung..." I mumbled.}

_{"You don't have to be scared or embarrassed Youngjae. Look, I know we are really close. You and me, we are brothers. We're all brothers...kind of." Jackson hyung stopped and sighed. "What' I'm saying is that it's it's okay Youngjae. You can tell me if you and JB-sshi are..." Jackson stopped there. He didn't continue, he didn't finish.} 

_{I stared at him. "I...I'm the one that likes JB hyung Jackson hyung. It's not JB hyung's fault." I slowly said. I wondered if I was being myself.} 

_{How can I admit it so easily? It's taboo. What if Jackson hyung really does hate this type of thing? Jackson hyung really respects JB hyung. What if I've messed it up? What if I've messed everything u-}

_{I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder. I glanced at Jackson hyung and he was just smiling and nodding. I don't know how I knew but I could tell that he wasn't disgusted. He slightly pulled me close and then quickly let go of me to focus on driving.}

_{"I'm from Hong Kong. This type of relationship doesn't surprise me so much. I'm your hyung Youngjae. I've seen more than you think I have. I may live in Korea now, but I understand that love doesn't only happen between a woman and a man. As your hyung I should take care of you no matter what you choose, and by the way, nothing will make me not respect leader-sshi if that's what you're thinking." he said.}

_{"L...love? I don't think it's love..." I said embarrased. My heart started beating so fast once again. I don't think Jackson hyung and I have ever had a really serious conversation before.} 

_{How can our first really serious conversation be about this?}

_{"It isn't love?" he suddenly yelled. Coco moved slightly and barked a little but laid back down to sleep. I glanced at Jackson hyung. "But you live together now and you do everything together. I think it's not just that you like leader-sshi." he said.}

_{I stared at him. He didn't look at me but I could still see the smile on his face.} 

_{"We're almost there." he suddenly said.}

_{I looked straight ahead and saw the familiar convenience store that's really close by JB hyung's apartment.} 

_{"Love." Jackson suddenly said in English. I quickly glanced at him again. He still had the same smile on his face. "Remember I wrote in the diary BamBam got you for your birthday?" Jackson asked.}

_{"You wrote I Love You." I replied in English.}

_{"Yeah. You only say it when you know you really want to be with the person." Jackson said.}

_{Another short silence passed.}

_{"We're here!" Jackson suddenly yelled. It made me snap out of my thoughts and glance at him. "Hey! Choi Youngjae! What's with that face?" he asked me.}

_"Huh?" 

_{Hands suddenly squeezed my cheeks and I pulled away chuckling, a little surprised. Coco finally woke up and started moving around in my arms. She barked lightly and I made sure to get her some food as soon as we got inside.} 

_{"Don't cry." Jackson suddenly said.}

_{"Huh?" I laughed and glanced at him. "But I'm not crying." I said.}

_{Jackson hyung laughed loudly and I stared at him. "I got you to laugh." he said. "Stop taking it so seriously. I'm glad that you told me. Don't think I feel disgusted or anything. It only matters if you like the person. I don't really care about stuff like that Youngjae." Jackson said.}

_{I stared at him a little wide eyed.}

_{"So what's your couple name? JaeJae? BumJae? Youngbum? You two! I knew it! Love is so sweet! It's in the air! At least you have someone to be with for christmas." Jackson hyung continued giggling loudly. He suddenly pulled me in for a hug and I could only laugh with him, still shocked that telling him didn't cause any serious damage like I feared.} 

_{But I still had worry in my head because Jackson hyung insisted that it didn't bother him. But how can a type of relationship like JB hyung and I. How can that not bother him?} 

_{We got out of the car, my bag on my shoulders and coco in my hands. Jackson hyung picked up the containers of food from the back and followed me towards the apartment building.}

_{"Choi Youngjae? Or is it Im Youngjae now?" Jackson suddenly said my name and squealed. I glanced at him wide eyed, not knowing whether to laugh in embarrassment or hit him. "So when's the wedding?" he yelled.} 

_{My eyes went even wide, as wide as they can go. I quickly looked around the street for some reason. Jackson hyung laughed loudly and I decided to just chuckle in nervousness.} 

_{It's like he's a child teasing me like this.}

_{"What are you-what wedding? This isn't normal. Stop joking. I'm not a girl hyung." I whined and continued laughing it off with him.}

_{We finally made it inside the apartment and into JB hyung's room when I put coco down and went to get her some food. She ran to her house and I laughed. When I finally got coco some food and water and she was busy eating, I put my bag down and went to help Jackson hyung finish putting the containers of food away.} 

_{"Now let's watch those movies."} 

_{I whined and followed Jackson hyung to the TV. I didn't think he was being serious about the movies but he really did bring them. We sat down and I prepared myself to watch another horror movie.} 

_{Even though I would like to play one of the psychopath characters in a movie, I can never get used to horror movies.} 

_{I watched Jackson hyung the whole time. I couldn't focus on the movie at all as expected. Instead, the conversation from earlier in Jackson hyung's car kept repeating in my mind, and not the part where Jackson hyung just accepts everything so easily.}

_Love.

_{I love you.}

_{JB hyung has never said it. I have never said it. Like before, we don't ever talk about the relationship between us. We know what kind of relationship we have, so we don't usually talk about it...maybe until now though.}

_{JB hyung has changed a little since he returned from his military service. Not only is he talking about doing more...things...he's talking more about our relationship and our future. Of course he is my hyung. He's older than me. It's not weird for him to be talking about stuff like future and going forward with our relationship. I understand.} 

_{I guess it's me who's acting like a child with my nervousness.}

_{I'm really nervous. I'm nervous about the video I watched. I'm nervous about where a relationship with two guys can go. What if JB hyung finds a girl he really likes? What if JB hyung's parents find out? What if my parents find out? Will our lives be ruined? What will happen to JB hyung? I don't want anything to happen to JB hyung. I have all these questions in my head all the time and they make me think a lot about the type of relationship JB hyung and I have, even if we don't talk about it.} 

_{I don't know if we're both running away from it. I don't know the answers to any of the questions but I do know that even if I'm nervous, I'm not really running away from any of it. Even if JB hyung wants to run away from it, I'm not. Even if we don't talk about it, I'll always think about it. Even if a day comes where JB hyung finds a girl he really likes, a girl he wants to start a family with...}

_{I'll let him live a happy life.} 

_{To be truthful to myself, when JB hyung suddenly confessed and I agreed I thought it would end in a few months, maybe a year. To be truthful, for a while I still thought it was a joke to JB hyung. I didn't mind anymore if he wanted to joke around, but I slowly started liking JB hyung like how he confessed to me.} 

_{When JB hyung sat me down two years ago, talked about our future, asked me to move in to his apartment, and left for service, I was scared. I was so scared.}

_{I'm still scared.}

_{I never thought I would have so many worries, but I don't want to burden JB hyung with my worries, and I can't talk to anyone because of the type of relationship we have. I trust Jr hyung but because of his close relationship with JB hyung, I can't properly talk to him about all my worries.}

_{It's bad of me to think, but what if Jr hyung tells JB hyung my worries? What if I ruin everything because of my worries? What if I make JB hyung angry or sad? We've never had a fight and I want to keep it that way between JB hyung and I.}

_{But truthfully behind my laughing, cheerful face, I have so many worries. Not just about what exactly I want to do with my life, but where this relationship between two men will go.}

_{I don't want to lose JB hyung. Even if the relationship doesn't work out I still want to be friends with him, but what if he doesn't want to be friends with me? What if this relationship leads to loss more than what Jackson hyung is saying...love?}

_{Will I lose the guys as well?} 

_{I don't want any of it to happen. I don't want to see the others sad or mad. I don't want to fight with JB hyung, so I don't talk to him about it either.}

_{Now Jackson hyung knows. When he questioned me in the car, when he started talking about love and joking about marriage, it's made all the worries suddenly come back. The ones I tried not to think of for 2 years.} 

_{"Choi Youngjae!"} 

_{"What!" I yelled loudly as Jackson hyung swung a fly swatter at me. My eyes went wide and I quickly moved away, realizing coco was barking loudly.}

_{"Jackson hyung!" I yelled.}

_{"It's one of the flies. It's in here! It probably jumped in when we came in. We have to kill it."}

_{Jackson hyung had his hat turned backwards and his sleeves rolled up. He held the electric fly swatter and his eyebrows tightened as he tried to aim for the small fly that was suddenly flying around.}

_{I laughed loudly.}

_{"Hyung! Let me do it." I said.}

_{"No. No. Let hyung do it." Jackson said. I continued laughing at his bluffing. Jackson hyung hates insects. He yells at cockroaches and flies and acts as if they will attack him. I may be scared of the rollercoaster, but Jackson hyung is really scared of small insects.}

_{"Hyung you're not going to catch it like that! Let me! You're scared of them!" I yelled loudly. Instead Jackson hyung screeched loudly and ran towards me. I yelled and backed up. Coco's small barks also surrounded the room as I laughed loudly at Jackson hyung's weird movements when he ran and hid behind me.}

_{I took the fly swatter from him and went towards the fly, laughing loudly just because Jackson hyung stuck close behind me, pointing to where the fly was flying.}

_{"Youngjai!" Jackson screeched loudly. "I got it!" he took the fly swatter away from me yelling towards the fly that sat on the wall.}

_{"What is going on? I can hear you from outside."}

_{I turned to face the familiar voice, trying to stop laughing. JB hyung stood at the door, taking his shoes off. He took off his heavy jacket and scarf and started walking towards us.}

_{"The-there's a fly and Jackson hyung can't get it." I said pointing towards Jackson hyung, trying to stop laughing.} 

_{JB looked at him, a smile appeared on his face and he chuckled before walking towards us, taking the fly swatter from me, and killing the fly in less than second. I fell to the floor clapping and laughing as Jackson hyung grabbed onto JB hyung's arm calling him leader and praising him.}

_{I watched JB hyung laugh loudly and fall on the couch with Jackson hyung still holding his arm. I picked up coco and tried to quiet her down. We do have neighbors below us and next to us so we try to be quiet.}

_{"All this for a fly?" JB hyung suddenly.}

_{"Did you see it? It was so big and it was coming for me." Jackson hyung said loudly. I could only laugh at his big reaction. JB hyung laughed too.}

_{"Is there food? I haven't had any food since early this morning. I almost bought chicken." JB hyung said.}

_{"There's some food." I said smiling at him.} 

_{Jackson hyung stood up and suddenly pulled JB hyung away. I watched them walking to the kitchen. Coco jumped from my hands and started running after them.}

_{I heard JB hyung and Jackson hyung talking but I didn't pay attention after finding a singing contest show on TV. It was only a few minutes into watching TV that I heard yelling.}

_{"Hey! Hey! Choi Youngjae!" JB hyung suddenly yelled. Jackson hyung was laughing loudly. I stood up quickly and ran towards the kitchen. I smelled it before JB hyung could tell me.}

_{"Coco-yah!" I yelled laughing.} 

_{"She does it right next to JB hyung's leg." Jackson hyung said.}

_{I laughed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I said quickly going to clean it up. JB hyung moved and I kept apologizing as I cleaned it up and even went to put coco in her house.} 

_{Coco is trained to use the pad, but once you let her out of her house she sometimes does it anywhere. Mark hyung says he's still trying to teach her when he has time, and I try hard as well.}

_{I quickly cleaned it up and apologized again to JB hyung. Jackson hyung and I laughed and JB hyung chuckled.} 

_{I slowly walked away back to the TV. I was watching this TV contest when hands suddenly landed on my shoulders. I looked up at Jackson hyung.}

_{"Yongjai!" he suddenly squealed at me.} 

_{I chuckled and stared at him confused. "What is it Jackson hyung?" I asked.}

_{"He told me you told him." JB hyung suddenly said. I quickly turned around to face him and he was eating.}

_{No words came out of my mouth and Jackson hyung just patted my shoulder. "It is love." he suddenly said. I looked up at him. "JB-sshi already confirmed."} 

_{I looked at JB hyung.}

_{"Love?" I said in English.}

_{"I~Love You~ Baby I~ I Love You." JB hyung suddenly started singing. I was suddenly shocked for two reasons. JB hyung can sing really good, and JB hyung just sang a song saying I love you.}

_{"He looks like he's about to pass out." Jackson hyung suddenly said.}

_"I...I-"

_{"It's called confession song." JB hyung suddenly said. I looked at him. "It's a new song one of the groups in my company is coming out with. They were playing it a lot today." he said.}

_{I felt something lift off my shoulders.}

_{"A-a song." I said nervously chuckling.}

_{"Look at your face. It's okay. I wanted to make sure myself. I asked you so I had to ask JB-sshi. I said for me it doesn't matter, as long as there is love of course." Jackson hyung said.} 

_{I lowered my head in embarrassment.} 

_{"He's embarrassed." Jackson hyung said. I could hear them both laughing. "Honestly I already knew a little. JB-sshi, you know remember when you played that song in your car? What was it? I think it's called some. That day you only talked about Youngjae. You know it made me jealous."}

_{I lifted my head and looked at Jackson hyung.}

_{If anyone has seen Jackson and JB hyung together, they will know that Jackson hyung really likes JB hyung. Jackson hyung likes it a lot more when JB hyung praises him.}

_{"Who knew that it's because you belong to Youngjae-sshi now." Jackson said laughing.}

_{"Hyung..." I mumbled.}

_{Jackson laughed his familiar high pitched laugh and patted me on the shoulder. "I just think JB-sshi is really cool. Isn't he?" he asked me. I chuckled and nodded.}

_{"You like Jaebum hyung?" I asked.}

_{Jackson hyung started laughing. "Are you jealous now Youngjae-sshi?" he asked.} 

_{I glanced at Jaebum hyung. He was pretending to watch TV and eat but I'm sure he's listening to everything.}

_{"JB hyung is mine." I said.}

_{Jaebum hyung suddenly turned to look at me. He looked shocked for a second before he laughed and nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry I belong to Youngjae." he said.}

_{"Hey. You two, I'm here too." Jackson hyung said. I chuckled and turned to face the TV. "You see! He favors you." Jackson said.}

_{"But he doesn't favor me." I said laughing.}

_{"Right now you two are like on a date and I'm alone." Jackson hyung said.}

_{"We-we're not." I said eyes wide and chuckling.} 

_{"Admit it! Why are you still so innocent? By the way have you two-"}

_{"Hyung!" I yelled eyes wide laughing. I couldn't stop myself because JB hyung had his hand on Jackson hyung's mouth. What made me laugh was the look on JB's face. He looked both shocked and embarrassed.}

_{Jackson hyung quickly pulled his hand away.}

_{"What? We're all adults here. You two have done something right?" he asked winking.}

_{Still laughing nervously, I lowered my head.}

_{"Hey! You don't just ask something like that." JB hyung said. I could hear Jackson hyung laughing. I lifted my head and he was holding his hands up in defense.} 

_{"It's healthy to talk about this stuff you know." he said. I continued watching the two. I thought I would be embarrassed but Jackson hyung makes me laugh rather than be embarrassed at anything.} 

_{But JB hyung and I can't talk about stuff like that. We just don't talk about it. Ever.}

_{I lowered my head.} 

_{"You mean you don't even talk about it?" Jackson hyung asked. I lifted my head again, and this time JB hyung and I caught eyes for only a few seconds.} 

_{"Jackson..." JB mumbled.}

_{Jackson hyung suddenly looked serious. "Since it's this type of relationship, it's healthy to talk about it. You both should know what each other thinks. You both don't really talk? I've had..." he paused. I stared at him and he stared back for a while before turning to JB hyung.}

_{"I've also had other gay friends before. In Hong Kong it's not really so surprising." Jackson suddenly admitted.}

_{"Wait a minute-"}

_{"Jackson-yah. I'm not gay." JB hyung beat me to it. I looked towards him. He was staring hard at Jackson hyung.}

_{"Ahh...JB-sshi, are you sure it's okay to let Youngjae hear-"}

_{"But I'm not...I'm not either." I said looking at Jackson hyung. He stared at me.}

_{"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" he suddenly asked. "This type of relationship, you two-"}

_{"I like Youngjae, but I'm not gay." JB suddenly said.}

_{My heart suddenly skipped a beat. We've never had this conversation before, JB hyung and I, but Jackson hyung is suddenly making us both talk about what we should be talking about since the beginning.} 

_{"Wahh, as expected of leader-sshi. You're so cool!" Jackson squealed. I stared at JB hyung, almost wanting to clutch my heart, but I clenched my hands instead.}

_{It's the first time I've heard JB hyung say it again so seriously since the first time he confessed.} 

_{I've never really replied have I?}

_{"What about you Youngjae?"} 

_{I looked up at Jackson hyung. I stared at him clenching my hands for quite a while before I looked over at JB hyung. He stared hard at me. He stared like he stared at me when we first met.}

_{"Me?" I asked. "Yes. You." JB hyung said.} 

_{Without breaking eye contact I replied. "As for me. I've never really liked anyone. I've never really looked at any girls, but I've never looked at any other guys. I don't think..." I paused. "I don't think I'm gay at all, but..." I paused again. "But I want to be with Jaebum hyung." I said.}

_{"That's right. You said you like leader-sshi." Jackson hyung said. I quickly turned to look at him.} 

_{"Huh?" JB suddenly said. I turned to look at him and slowly smiled. "I wouldn't kiss another guy if I didn't like them. How could I-"} 

_{"Ahh...Kissing!" Jackson hyung squealed and covered his cheeks and shook his head. "Not my leader-sshi and our innocent Youngjae." he said.}

_{I chuckled at Jackson hyung.}

_{"Hey! You never say anything." JB suddenly said.}

_{"Ah..." I laughed and crossed my arms across my chest in defense before he pulled me in for a neck hold. "That's true." I replied, not knowing what else to say.} 

_{"Talking is good. Talking is great. Relationships need talking trust me. If I just talked to her..." Jackson hyung sighed. I could only guess he was talking about a ex-girlfriend.} 

_{"So I'm the only one that knows? You both trust me this much. Come here-" I laughed as Jackson hyung pulled JB hyung and I into a hug. I laughed and tried to pull away but he wouldn't have it.}

_{We ended up in a three people hug and I couldn't help but laugh even when I was let go.} 

_{"Jr hyung knows. I talk to Jr hyung sometimes." I said.}

_{"Hey!" Jackson yelled at me and pointed a finger. "So after all you didn't trust me." he said.} 

_{"What?" I said confused.}

_{"No. We couldn't tell anyone. We can't tell anyone." I said.}

_{"Jinyoung sort of helped. That's why he knows a little. You-With you it seems Youngjae felt comfortable to say something. That's all that matters. I won't say anything unless he feels comfortable." JB said.}

_{I looked at him surprised.} 

_{He's still being so cheesy.}

_{"As expected of our cool leader-sshi." I said, even surprising myself. JB looked at me. Jackson hyung squealed and suddenly pulled him into a hug. I could only laugh.} 

_{When we are alone together we can barely talk about serious things such as the type of relationship we have, but with a few words from Jackson hyung it's like we are both being influenced.} 

_{I never imagined Jackson hyung to be so accepting. I never thought he would be so willing to accept it so easily. With Jr hyung I kind of understand because JB and Jr hyung have been together since they were kids, but with the others I can't know how they will react.}

_{I don't even know how Yugyeom will react, even though we've been together for so long. I don't want to tell the guys because I don't want to lose any of them, just like I don't want to lose JB hyung.}

_{"I just don't know how everyone will react to this sort of thing." I said.}

_{A hand landed on my shoulder. I looked at Jackson hyung and he patted my shoulder. "We are all your friends. Maybe in the beginning it will take some time but we won't leave you because you found someone you like." he said. I stared at him.} 

_{"Right JB-sshi?" Jackson hyung said. I looked towards him and he was staring at me.} 

_{"If you don't feel comfortable saying anything, then leave it up to me. I don't really think it's anyone's business, but if you want to say something tell me, and leave it to me." JB said. I continued staring at him.} 

_{"You see, it's like you two are on a date again. I think BamBam and Yugyeomie are out of class now. I'm going. You need to talk right? Where is coco? I'll take coco and you have one more day of vacation right? Use that day." Jackson hyung said. I watched as he suddenly stood up.}

_{"W-wait a minute." I said laughing nervously. I quickly stood up. "You don't have to take coco. I just got her back." I said.}

_{"You two need to talk." Jackson hyung said.}

_{I watched him walk towards coco's house. She was sleeping again surprisingly. Jackson hyung picked her up.}

_{"Wait hyung-"}

_{I started walking towards Jackson hyung when a hand grabbed my arm. I looked towards JB, who had a grip on my arm. We stared at each other.}

_{"Jaebum hyung." I said.}

_{JB hyung suddenly pulled me to sit down. He got up and I watched as he helped Jackson hyung get ready and leave. All the time I could only watch, confused. When the door closed I stared at JB hyung. He walked to me and sat down where he was sitting earlier.} 

_{A long silence passed.} 

_{A very long silence.} 

_{_____________________________________________________________________________________}