Call Me JB Hyung : Sequel Chapter 11

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It's a Sunday morning and I'm laying in my bed staring at the ceiling. The sound to the tv is loud. It surprised when I woke up and JB hyung wasn't laying next to me, but at the sound of the tv and coco's barking I realized the two were just on the other side of the door.

I sighed and yawned loudly. Earlier I realized that JB hyung turned off my alarms. He gets really annoyed at my three alarms I have to set to get me up. I forgot to turn them off so I heard the second one ringing so early this morning.

I was going to continue laying down when the loud bang of what sounded like a pot hitting the floor made me quickly lift myself up and rub my eyes. I stared at the closed door for a few minutes before getting up.

Both yesterday and today JB hyung and I have been sleeping. We've both had a lot of work for the past few weeks and still haven't had a lot of time together. When we do end up alone, one of the guys comes over or we all go out, or my sister wants me to babysit, or my mom wants me to come home.

For JB hyung he would go oversees for a week for a tour of a concert with a different group. When he returned he started preparing for a comeback with a popular idol group so he was at work until really early in the morning these past few weeks. Usually by the time he returns home from work, I'm going to work. When I returned, he wouldn't be home.

Yesterday and today are the only days we've been able to spend the day alone and together without both having to do something. Instead of doing something like playing a game or going somewhere to eat though, JB hyung and I have just been sleeping for two days.

I opened my door and walked out of the room straight for the bathroom. I decided to take a shower and get ready for my last day free before I start work again.

We're already in another month, which means only two more weeks until white day. Only two more weeks until Jeju. We've all been planning the vacation together since it's no more a vacation for only JB hyung and I, but it doesn't mean I forgot what I promised.

Since JB hyung did so much in Japan, I'm still thinking of surprising him with something in Jeju. But I still don't know what yet.

"Are you awake? What are you doing?" I lifted my head to JB hyung walking out of his room. He was holding coco and she was barking cutely.

"I just finished." I replied, rubbing a towel through my hair. I was going to blow dry it but decided that's too much work.

"Do you know what time it is? You've been sleeping all day." JB hyung said. I followed him to the kitchen and realized the loud pots I heard from earlier was because he was cooking.

"Kimchi stew?" I asked, smiling at his work.

"Is something wrong with kimchi stew?"

I laughed and shook my head. "No. JB hyung's kimchi stew is really good. I can't wait to eat." I said.

"Then make some rice." he said. I laughed and nodded. With coco circling around my feet, I put on some rice and then stood next to JB hyung while he finished his stew.

"Are you ready for work tomorrow hyung?" I asked. He sighed and yawned. I laughed, already knowing his answer.

Instead of answering me, JB hyung turned to stare at me. I smiled wide at him and he sighed again, an expressionless look on his face.

"We're finally alone today." he suddenly said.

I chuckled. "We've both been so busy since we came back from Japan right? After I finished showering yesterday you were sleeping hyung." I said. "You slept in my room again. The bed is really small don't you think?"

"My room was hot." JB hyung replied.

I laughed loudly. "I remember you always used to say your room was cold. Now it's changed my room is cold and yours is hot?" I asked.

"Hey."

I giggled and sighed. "The weather is getting better." I said.

He nodded.

"Get the rice ready. Let's watch something." he said. I nodded, smiling and getting two bowls of rice ready. I walked to the small table in front of the tv and sat down.It didn't take long for JB hyung to sit next to me. "Coco already ate. Now it's time for us." he sat down near me and put a large bowl of soup in the middle of the table.

"Wow. As usual JB hyung's stew smells so good." I praised him and he smirked and nodded. "Of course it does." he replied.

Besides coco's barking and the sound of the tv, JB hyung and I ate in silence. We watched two dramas and then watched a variety show before we both finally got up to go clean the dishes. Since he cooked, I told JB hyung I would finish cleaning up. He didn't complain and quickly walked away with coco towards the couch. I laughed and finished cleaning up everything before going in my room to get my phone.

"Who's calling?" JB hyung suddenly asked. I sat next to him and stretched out my legs. Coco ran towards me and started my leg. I laughed and pulled away, picking her up onto my lap.

"I just got a call from Mark hyung asking when I want him to come get coco. But I was in the shower." I replied.

"Let's ignore the calls today."

With a laugh I turned towards JB hyung. He just stared at the tv with no expression on his face. "W-what are you saying hyung?" I asked.

"Today. Let it just be the two of us." he suddenly said. "We can sleep or something." he mumbled.

I stared at him, not really shocked at his words since JB hyung's cheesiness hasn't really disappeared yet. Even so I giggled and turned to face the tv. "JB hyung has really been watching some strange drama right?" I asked laughing.

"No." he quickly said. "It's just today, I want to talk." he suddenly said.

I stopped laughing at him. With a skip to my heart beat, I slowly turned to JB hyung. He still had no expression on his face but he wasn't looking at me. He was staring at the tv still.

I haven't forgotten Japan. How can I forget something as important as what I learned in Japan so easily? The problem is, JB hyung and I haven't talked about any of it once since we've returned. It's already a new month and all we do is still kiss.

The only thing that has changed is that sometimes I do it first now, but usually if JB hyung doesn't do it first then I still get a little nervous, so I don't usually do it. It seems Japan hasn't really changed anything. Even though I already know everything now, it's like we are still the same.

And I can't talk about it if JB hyung doesn't do it first. I already get so nervous about everything else. I don't think I'll ever have the courage to start the conversation first, even though there's so much I want to talk to JB hyung about.

"Huh? What do you want to talk about hyung? This is a surprise." I said nervously, playing with my hands.

A really really long silence passed. Coco already jumped from my lap and ran towards my room. I hoped she didn't do anything bad in there that I have to clean.

"I want to talk about anything." JB hyung finally said. I continued staring at him, a little confused, but a little glad he didn't want to talk about what we learned in Japan.

"W-what are you talking about hyung I don't get it. You're confusing me." I laughed and patted his shoulder.

Coco suddenly barked loudly and I quickly stood up. "She's going to leave a present for me if I don't get her." I laughed loudly and quickly walked to my room to get coco.

I closed my door and she barked cutely and my hand.

"All the shoes are in the closet right? Is your door closed hyung?" I asked.

"I closed it. There's some shoes in front of the door." he said.

I put coco down and went to check, putting all the shoes away. I made sure to put JB hyung's shoes up higher because coco usually does her business near his shoes.

"Don't worry hyung. I put all your shoes away. She won't get to them." I said, laughing. Coco was playing around his feet.

"But she's going to do something next to me." he pointed at her. "Hey. Bad. No." he chuckled.

I sat down and stared at him playing with coco.

"So what did you want to talk about hyung?" I asked, chuckling at coco not listening to him.

"You remember?" he suddenly asked.

I laughed. "You said you wanted to talk about something right? I wouldn't forget so easily." I patted his shoulder again.

"How about if I wanted to talk about Japan?" he suddenly asked.

I stopped patting his shoulder, but my hand didn't leave. A long silence passed. Once again only the tv and coco were making noise.

"Did I scare you? Forget about it then." JB hyung suddenly said.

"What..." I mumbled. "I'm not...scared hyung." I quickly said, pulling my hand away from his shoulder. Another short silence passed. I glanced at JB hyung and he didn't look very happy. He didn't look annoyed or angry, but he also didn't look happy.

"Look hyung!" I quickly said, laughing loudly. I pushed my hand in front of him. "It's not shaking. I'm not scared or nervous." I said loudly. "W-what...why are you suddenly like this?" I asked, still laughing.

We caught eyes.

I still don't really like it when JB hyung isn't laughing. If he's not laughing then I feel like he's mad at me and I don't like the feeling at all. I sighed and stared at coco running around.

"Hyung. Are you mad at me?" I gathered the courage and asked, nervously playing with my now trembling hands.

"Hey. Are you stupid?"

I quickly looked up at him and he started laughing. I stared. "I'm not angry. I told you. If I'm angry I go to sleep." he said. He laughed even louder and I slowly smiled.

"I'm glad." I mumbled.

"Hey." a finger poked my cheek and then a warm hand landed on my cheek. I almost pulled away. I caught eyes with JB hyung and we stared at each other for a few minutes.

"Youngjae-"

My phone suddenly started ringing and I quickly pulled away and picked it up. "It's Mark hyung." I said, turning to face him. He stared at me still. "But...today we need to talk right?" I quickly said. I turned off the phone and sat back down, my heart beating so fast because JB hyung was still staring at me. I could see him from the corner of my eye.

A few minutes passed and he was still staring so hard.

"Hy-hyung you're making me nervous." I chuckled nervously and continued playing with my hands.

"Sorry."

I turned to him and he was still staring so hard at me that I started wondering if I had something on my face, but JB hyung looked...embarrassed. I now know this look a lot.

"Hyung you...you want to...you want to talk about...about what we learned?" I stuttered again and again because I was so suddenly so nervous.

JB hyung's face suddenly changed and this time he looked surprised. He stared at me with a surprised look on his face, and he didn't move.

When Jun hyung was teaching me I knew that one day JB hyung and I would have to talk about it all, but I didn't think we would talk about it so soon. I didn't think that I would ask about it first either. But I guess it's time. Even though I'm so embarrassed, I even told Jun, it's not like I'm a child.

"I'll get some water!" I yelled, getting up and quickly walking towards the kitchen. I grabbed two bottles of water and stood there trying to calm myself down.

"Hey." I turned to face JB hyung. He was holding coco in his arms. "I won't talk about anything you don't want to talk about. We don't have to talk about Japan. Let's just talk about anything." he said.

I stared at him, my heart suddenly calming down, but my hands still trembling at his seriousness. "My water?" he asked, pushing his hand out. I stared at his hand and laughed, handing him his bottle of water and walking with him back towards the couch.

"You know hyung. Maybe I should at least tell Mark hyung that he can come get coco today. It will be better so we can talk right?" I asked.

He turned to look at me with a expression I've never seen before.

"Use my phone." he said.

I laughed loudly. He suddenly had a really strange cute and funny look on his face. I chuckled as I used his phone to call Mark hyung.

"Hello? Hyung?"

"Youngjae? Huh? Why are you calling from Jaebum's phone?" Mark asked.

"My phone is off." I replied.

"Why is your phone off?" he asked.

I glanced at JB hyung and chuckled. "Today JB hyung and I want to sleep some more. So we're not picking up any calls or going anywhere." I replied.

"Hey. You two. At least pick up my calls about coco. Can I pick her up now then?" Mark asked.

"You can pick her up. She looks ready to see you hyung." I said, laughing at coco trying to bite JB hyung's finger.

"I can hear her. I'm going to drop off BamBam then I'll come over." Mark said

"BamBam is with you?" I asked.

"He wanted to go to this new store that opened and Jackson was called to come to work. I offered since today's my off day." he said.

"Really? Why are you like this BamBam-ah? Did you buy anything for him hyung?" I laughed.

"No. But he bought me a new shirt. I was so surprised." Mark hyung laughed and I chuckled. "Our one and only fashion man. Our model BamBam." I joked.

"He says he can hear you." Mark hyung laughed.

"Tell him I know he can hear me. Tell him next time I want a shirt too." I laughed.

"He said next time you should come. He said he'll buy you a shirt if you come." he said. I laughed, turning to glance at JB hyung. Coco ran off and he sat staring at the tv. Now I can tell his annoyed face really easily.

"Ok hyung. You're coming to get coco right? Then I'll see you after you drop off BamBam. Bye." I quickly said.

"Yeah. Bye."

I turned off JB hyung's phone and nudged his shoulder.

"Hyung." I said, smiling.

He can't be jealous. It's Mark hyung. Mark hyung doesn't like me. Mark hyung is like my brother.

"You're suddenly so touchy with Mark." he suddenly said.

"JB hyung." I said, now laughing.

He's really jealous. Mark hyung wasn't lying.

"You can't be jealous hyung." I said, trying not to laugh. How JB hyung could suddenly be so jealous of Mark hyung is a little confusing to me. The only guy I like is him.

"Hey. Who said I'm jealous?" he said. He crossed his arms, made a face, and stared straight at the tv.

I laughed and looked down at his phone, scooting over to open his hand and give it back to him.

"There's nothing to be jealous about hyung. Mark hyung is like my brother." I laughed loudly. "You really can't be jealous." I said again.

"Hey. I said I'm not. Look at this show. Don't you like watching it?" he suddenly asked.

I laughed loudly and turned towards the tv.

I do like this show.

I giggled and laid down on my back. "I only like you hyung so you shouldn't be jealous." I quickly said.

Warmth encircled my hand and I quickly looked down. JB hyung squeezed my hand and I looked up. He stared at me.

"Hey. You mean it?" he suddenly asked.

Shocked I chuckled and nodded. "I keep saying it hyung. I like you. If I didn't I wouldn't be here no-" a kiss stopped me from talking, but unlike the quick kisses that JB hyung and I have been doing recently, he kissed me more, like how we kissed in the hotel in Japan.

I felt my body falling back and before I knew it I was laying on the couch, trying to catch a breath.

"W-w-wait hyung..." I tried breathing out and lifted my free hand to push at his chest. JB hyung stopped and looked down at me. I really couldn't catch my breath. We've done this before but not so suddenly. Usually JB hyung signals me with his eyes or even asks me. This is the first time in a long time that he's just done it so suddenly.

JB hyung continued staring down at me. I finally managed to calm myself down from breathing so loudly.

"Sorry." he suddenly said.

I stared, smiling, and then suddenly chuckling.

That surprised me. I'm so surprised. My heart is beating so loudly.

JB hyung still stared down at me.

"Hyung. You-you're heavy." I said, still chuckling. He nodded and lifted himself up. I slowly got up, now hearing coco barking so loudly. I managed to calm her down and JB hyung and I sat in silence. He was still holding tightly onto my hand and wouldn't let go.

I glanced at our hands more than once, my heart beating so fast.

"Are you okay?"

I glanced at him. He kept his body straight at the tv and didn't even look at me like he was doing so hard a few minutes ago.

"What are you saying? I'm fine." I laughed. "It surprised me." I admitted. "So suddenly." I continued laughing.

Another short silence passed. We just sat watching tv, holding hands. I dont know for how long but soon the door bell started ringing loudly. I tried getting up when I realized that we were still holding hands.

"Uh...hyung." I shook JB hyung with my free hand as Mark hyung started shouting to open the door.

"Hm?" he finally turned to face me after I shook his shoulder again and again. "It's Mark hyung." I said. JB hyung just stared at me. I laughed and nudged his shoulder with mine, trying to pull my hand away. "He's here for coco hyung. My hand."

JB hyung finally let go of my hand and I laughed, standing up and quickly walking towards the door.

"Mark hyung." I said, smiling wide as I opened the door.

"Hey. Where's-"

Coco came barking loudly at Mark hyung's voice. Mark hyung walked inside and I closed the door and followed him to the couch JB hyung was sitting on. They started talking about something and coco tried interrupting them.

I laughed. "I'll get her stuff." I quickly said. My heart was still beating so loudly. Just minutes ago JB hyung was jealous of Mark hyung and he suddenly pushed me down and...all I could feel was my loudly beating heart.

I focused on getting coco's bags ready.

"Are you going to take her food Mark hyung?" I yelled. "No. I bought her some food already. Hey, is there something wrong?" Mark suddenly asked.

I turned around and he was standing behind me with coco in his arms. She wouldn't stop barking.

"Huh? What do you mean?" I asked, chuckling as coco started his hand.

"Something happened between you and Jaebum?" he asked.

I was surprised that he could tell.

"Why? JB hyung isn't talking to you?" I asked, laughing, glancing towards the couch.

"He is. But he looks scary all of a sudden. When I asked him about you he looked irritated." Mark whispered. "He's so strange sometimes." he said.

I chuckled and nodded.

"Everything is in her bag. Recently she's not using the pad again. We should train her some more. Hide your shoes too hyung. She likes doing it on the shoes." I chuckled.

"I'm going to spend all my time training her don't worry. You hear me coco-ah. It's time to be an adult. You need to use the pad okay?"

I watched Mark hyung talking to coco and laughed at coco barking cutely and staring at him as if she could understand what he was saying.

"Well I'm going to head home now. You two fix your problem." Mark suddenly whispered and I stared at him, not replying to his words. He smiled wide at me and walked towards the door with coco and her bag. "See you later." he said.

I walked to the door and watched him put on his shoes. "Do you have work tomorrow?" he suddenly asked.

"Yeah. I think I can leave early though. I've been working so much that there's nothing else to do. And the teachers are done with their meetings." I replied. Mark opened the door and I leaned on the wall. Coco barked at me and I lowered down and laughed loudly when she my cheek.

"Bye. Bye Coco. Have fun with Mark hyung." I talked to her and she barked.

"See you. See you later Jaebum!" Mark yelled. I chuckled and nodded, watching him walk down the hallway. I slowly closed the door and leaned on it, chuckling at coco's cute behavior.

"It's going to be quiet without her." I mumbled to myself.

I slowly walked towards the couch where JB hyung sat watching tv. It didn't look like he moved at all. I sat in the exact same spot next to him, my heart beating so loudly once again.

"JB hyung. Is there something wrong?" I mumbled.

"No." he replied.

It can't be because he's jealous again right? No. Maybe it's because of coco. Does he miss Nora?

"Hyung! Do you have any new pictures of Nora? I want to see." I quickly said, smiling wide, trying to change whatever sudden mood came between us as soon as Mark hyung came.

"I don't have any new pictures." he replied.

I sat, watching him. "Hyung. JB hyung? How about we visit Nora? It's been a long time to see her right?" I quickly said.

This caught his attention. He turned to me with an expressionless look on his face. I chuckled and nodded. Of course Nora will get his attention. "We should go see Nora." I said again.

"Together?" he suddenly asked.

I laughed and patted his shoulder. "You can go alone to see her if you want hyung. I don't have to come." I said.

"Hey. You're allergic." he suddenly said, staring at me hard.

I continued laughing and lightly tapped his shoulder again. "I'm not going to die hyung. I came here all the time when Nora was with you. One day wouldn't kill me. I miss her too! I want to see her. Do you think she would get along with Coco?" I asked.

A smirk suddenly appeared on his face and he turned to the tv. "Hey. Choi Youngjae?"

"Hm?"

"Let's talk."

I chuckled. "Ok." I said.

"Remember the day Jackson found out about us? When he forced us to talk? That's how I want to talk. Let's do that again Youngjae. Let's talk. About everything." JB suddenly said.

I stared at him, my heart beating fast, but inside I also felt willing. I've been wanting to talk to JB hyung for a long time. Seriously talk to him about everything. I think it's time that I should stop being such a child.

"You go first hyung." I quickly said.

He stared at me.

I lowered my head.

"Because if you don't start, I get too nervous." I admitted. A hand suddenly grabbed mine and I looked down. JB hyung pulled my hand closer to him and he just held it in his. When I lifted my head he was turned away, laying back on the couch with his eyes closed.

I stared at him, my heart beating so fast, wondering what he was going to talk about first. I remember that day Jackson hyung left us alone. JB hyung started talking about moving to another apartment first. I remember that day we almost got into an argument too about it.

"There's something you're worried about Youngjae. I want to know what it is." he suddenly said.

A short silence passed.

"All the worries you have since the beginning. I know you have a lot. Remember the day after Jackson left us to talk and we talked for the first time? The day after that when we went shopping? You told me yourself you have a lot of worries. I want you to tell me. Everything." JB said. He opened his eyes and looked at me. "Is it about our future?" he asked.

The atmosphere in the room suddenly became hot. I mean to me it became hot. I felt sweat suddenly coming down my forehead and my trembling fingers becoming sweaty as I stared at JB hyung.

Out of all the things he wanted to talk about. The one thing I'm really scared of talking to him about.

A very long silence passed. I played with my free hand, squeezing my own fingers, many thoughts going through my head.

"I don't want to scare you. But if I don't know your worries I don't know what to do." he suddenly said.

"You're not scaring me hyung. Why do you keep saying that?" I asked.

"Are you worried about the future Youngjae? Because I am too."

It surprised me, JB hyung suddenly revealing his thoughts and worries.

"Jun hyung told me that I should worry about now and not the future. So I don't have those worries much anymore hyung. I think they were stupid worries." I said, lowering my head.

He squeezed my hand and I squeezed his back.

"Tell me what they were." he said.

"You'll be mad at me. I don't want you to be mad at me." I said, already feeling the sharp pain in my chest all those times that JB hyung suddenly yelled at me or ignored me because I couldn't express my feelings well, and when I did I said something that annoyed him. The day he confessed he did it. The times I kept saying his confession was all a joke he did it. I already know that telling him my worries will not make him happy.I guess its not true that we haven't had a fight before. We've had some arguments.

"Hey! Choi Youngjae. You're already deciding my reaction. How about you just tell me what you're thinking? I want to know. You won't tell me?" he asked.

"I'll tell you. If you want to know then I'll tell you." I quickly replied.

"I'm listening." JB hyung said.

It's suddenly so serious between us. And now I have to tell him all my worries. I'm sure he'll be mad. But JB hyung wants to know.

"I'm not scared of you hyung." I played with my free hand, keeping my head low and eyes lower, staring at the floor and my shoes, anything other than who was sitting next to me. My heart was beating so fast. JB hyung didn't say anything, probably waiting for me to continue.

"I'm not scared hyung." I repeated, sighing. "You think that I am but I'm really not." I paused and stared at my shoes.

"Ok. You're not scared. I believe you." he said.

I couldn't help turning my head to look at him. JB hyung didn't have any expression on his face.

I hate this. Is he already mad?

"Are you mad hyung?" I asked.

"No." he responded. "Just waiting for you to tell me all I've wanted to know for a long time." he said.

We caught eyes again and I sighed and smiled.

"You're wrong if you think I'm scared hyung. I'm not scared of you. I'm not scared of-of-of what Jun hyung taught me. I'm not. I trust you JB hyung. It's just...maybe I don't really trust myself." I paused, glancing at his face for a reaction. JB hyung still had an expressionless look on his face.

"I-I'm not scared at all." I chuckled nervously. "If it's what we learned in the video...I think if it's with JB hyung....if it's with JB hyung then I'm not scared. Do you know why hyung?" I stared at my feet hard. "Because I trust you. If it's with you I can do anything. I want you to be happy hyung. I don't like it when you're not laughing. It-it makes me think you're mad at me and I don't like the feeling at all." I paused. "I'm not scared." I repeated for what seemed like the fifth time.

Suddenly a warm hand wrapped around my free hand and I lifted my head to see JB hyung staring so hard at me. Suddenly he lifted both my hands and it surprised me. He put both my hands on his chest. I could suddenly feel JB hyung's heart beating so loudly. It made me blush. I could feel my face become completely hot.

I pulled my hands away nervously and he let me, but I didn't look away from him.

"I'm really not. I think I'm just too nervous hyung. I can't help worrying about the future..." I paused.

You're scared of the relationship Youngjae. You're worried.

"Ok. Maybe I am a little scared." I quickly said.

JB hyung squeezed my hand lightly and I did the same and smiled. We quickly caught eyes and he nodded.

"I'm not scared of you hyung. It's the future. It's this relationship. How everything will be when I come back from service that I'm scared of. It's how it will work out that I'm scared of. It's if...it's if JB hyung finds a girl...that I'm really scared of." I paused again. "But even if it doesn't work out, I still really want to be friends with you hyung. I'm still scared that maybe you won't want to be friends with me anymore. I know it's not something I should think about, but I can't help thinking about it. What about the future? What's going to happen when I come back from service? Will JB hyung find a proper girlfriend? Will he leave me? What will I do then? I'm nervous about where a relationship with two guys can go hyung. What if your parents find out? What if my parents find out? Will our lives be ruined? What will happen to you? I don't want anything to happen to you...you're job I-" I stopped talking realizing I haven't even breathed since it all stared coming out.

I was too nervous to look JB hyung in the face so I quickly pulled one of my sweaty hands and he let go. I grabbed my water bottle and JB hyung let my other sweaty hand go. After drinking some water I wiped off my sweaty hands on my pants and sighed loudly.

"Let's start with the first worry." JB hyung suddenly said.

I quickly turned to him, our eyes met instantly and we started playing the staring game. I nodded.

"You're scared about how everything will be when you come back from service? You're scared that somehow I'll get a girlfriend." he said.

I was too nervous to reply so I nodded again.

"You don't trust me Youngjae?" he suddenly asked.

"What? I do." I quickly replied.

"Then believe me when I say that I love you. I wouldn't hurt you. If I didn't want to be with you now or two years from now, I would stop all of this. But I'm pushing it Youngjae. I'm pushing you. Do you even know the extent it's to now? My feelings. I have to control myself around you. Do you think if I feel this way now, it will somehow change when you come back?" he suddenly asked.

I stared, his words processing in my mind. My whole body was hot and I suddenly couldn't breath.

"For that Youngjae. Try to trust me more. If you really trust me you won't worry about that. Go to service. Come back, and I'll be right here waiting for you like you waited for me. Hey! Don't you remember that I'm the one the confessed? I have no right to hurt you."

What is this? I suddenly can't breath. These words-

"Hey."

I snapped from my thoughts.

"Breath." JB hyung suddenly grabbed my hand and squeezed it lightly. I looked at our hands interlocked once again. I looked at it a long time, spotting my silver bracelet he gave me that I wear every day now. I slowly let out the breath I was holding and smiled.

"I'm stupid right?" I asked.

"No. It's normal to think the way you are." JB hyung replied.

I chuckled and nodded.

"The next thing." JB hyung said. We caught eyes and I nodded.

"Since we don't know what the future will be I can't say anything to make you stop thinking that somehow this won't work. Right now all I can tell you is that I even went through looking at two guys..." he paused and I lowered my eyes at the sudden memory of what I learned in Japan. "...I went through videos of two guys just because I want to be with you Youngjae. If I can do that then...you shouldn't think that someday this won't work out." he said.

I slowly nodded, staring at my silver bracelet.

"Next?" he suddenly asked.

"Yeah..." I mumbled, raising my eyes so we were playing the staring game again.

"My best friend is also the one I love." he suddenly said.

"Jr hyung?"

"Hey!"

I laughed loudly as suddenly JB hyung pulled me over and an arm went around my shoulder. We laid back and I sighed and stared at the tv.

"You're a best friend Youngjae. You know a lot about me. You know me more than my parents know me. Maybe even Jinyoung. If I go to my parents first, then I'll come to you second." he said. "Remember when I came to your house that night? I talked to everyone else about stopping school but I needed to talk to you. You weren't the last choice Youngjae. You were my first choice." he suddenly said.

My heart was beating fast. I stared wide eyed.

"Do you understand?" he suddenly asked.

I lowered my eyes, once again staring at the silver bracelet around my wrist. "H-how about Jr hyung?"

"What? You're jealous of Jinyoung?"

"W-what! That's not what I'm saying hyung!" I hit him on the arm and listened to his loud laugh.

"I was really your first choice? You're not just saying that hyung?"

"Hey."

I smiled and quickly apologized. "I know. I know hyung. I know what you're saying." I said. "My heart is beating so fast." I admitted.

"Youngjae."

"Hm?"

"I don't know where a relationship with two guy will go. I can't tell you what will happen...but you have to stop thinking that this isn't a normal relationship. We don't know what's going to happen in the future. We can only continue to be together and make each other happy and forget about the future now. When it comes we can figure it out." JB hyung said.

I chuckled. "It's what Jun hyung said. To stop thinking so much of the future. Think about what's happening now."

"You should." JB hyung said.

"I know. I'm trying." I replied.

"And if you can't help thinking about it then tell me. Don't keep it from me. We're in this together right? I care so much that I'm saying all these words that I didn't even know I could say. I guess I've been worrying a lot about this too."

I lifted my head and we caught eyes.

I'm also surprised that you're saying all of this hyung.

"So our parents...."

My body froze at the words and I tried lifting myself up. JB hyung let me go and I scooted to the side and looked at him. He looked back at me.

"Whenever you're ready. I'm ready. If you're not ready, then I'll hold back." he suddenly said.

"What? Do you know what you're saying hyung?" I quickly asked, so shocked at his words. "Hyung. You...we...we are not like that. We-"

"We're in a relationship right?" he asked.

I caught eyes with him.

"We don't have to tell them. But if I had a choice I would. I'm not going to hide you Youngjae. I'm not gay but I can't deny that I like you. If I'm going out with you there's not need to hide it." he suddenly said.

"W-what hyung...you're serious?" I stared wide eyed.

"I'm serious. I said it before Youngjae. You're a best friend that knows a lot about me. If I'm serious about something I'm serious about it. I've thought about this for a long time. For three years I've thought about it." he suddenly said.

I continued staring, my hands trembling. "D-do you know what it means hyung? If we tell our parents it's all over."

"It's not. I love my parents Youngjae. But I also love you." JB hyung said it so straight forward that I grabbed my quickly reddening face.

"You're using that word a lot hyung." I said.

"I'm overusing it because you never believe me when I say it." he said.

"I do."

"Hm?"

I sighed and started playing with the bracelet. "I believe you. I'm just...this really isn't normal Jaebum hyung. No matter what we believe no one thinks it's normal. And it's not like we're...it's not like we like guys. I'm only interested in you hyung. I know for sure that I like girls. Even if I haven't confessed before I've only ever had crushes on girls. With you-with you hyung...at first I was so confused...but..." I lifted my head and caught eyes with him. "...even if we think it's ok. It's not normal."

"I know." he suddenly said.

"So...so how can we even think about telling our parents?"

"Do you want them to know?" he asked, staring so hard at me. JB hyung suddenly looked like he would drop everything and confess to the whole world about everything. I could tell.

Jackson hyung is right. JB hyung is a real man.

"I...I don't want to disappoint them hyung." I mumbled.

"This is a disappointment?"

"No. I just...I like you but my parents...our parents hyung." I said, staring as hard at him as he was at me.

"So we can be together and tell them when the time comes." he said.

"But hyung...don't act like it's all ok. My mom keeps talking about a girlfriend. My sister and brother keep talking about it. I can't stop thinking about the future if they keep bringing it up." I said.

"Youngjae."

I stared at him.

"Do you want to have a girlfriend?"

"What?" I stared at him, a little confused and shocked.

"You want a girlfriend." he said. I could only stare at him, my heart beating so fast. "I understand. Because you've never had a girlfriend before so this is not something normal. We're both not gay right? It's something not-"

"Stop saying that hyung!" I almost yelled.

A short silence passed

I squeezed my hands together. "Didn't you say this is normal?" I chucked nervously, suddenly feeling really open about everything. "If it's normal...then it doesn't matter if it's with a girl or if it's with you. I'm still in a relationship right hyung?"

A short silence passed.

"But I only choose you." I quickly said.

I heard a small chuckle. "Me too." he said.

Another short silence passed. I didn't know what to say anymore.

"My parents keep talking about me getting married." JB hyung suddenly said. I glanced at him.

"So what should we do hyung?" I asked.

"I like you Youngjae."

"I like you too." I replied, smiling at my own nervousness that quickly came back.

"My parents know I have someone I like. They know that I am seeing someone."

I lifted my head and we caught eyes. "But they don't know it's you because I know you don't want me to say it's you. No matter how long we have to wait I'll wait with you Youngjae. Even if your mom talks about a girlfriend I know that we're together. It doesn't hurt me to hear her say it because you said it before right? I'm yours..." he paused.

"W-what..." I mumbled, lightly hitting his arm.

JB hyung grabbed a hold of my hand suddenly. "...and you're mine Youngjae." he suddenly said. I didn't even have the strength to pull my hand away, my heart beating so fast once again.

JB hyung suddenly nudged my shoulder. "Breath." he said. And once again I let go of the breath I was holding.

"No matter what Youngjae. Right now all I know is my feelings for you. Another guy. And it's only for you. Jinyoung-sshi showed me those videos...if I wasn't imagining you, I wouldn't have been able to watch them."

My eyes went wide as his words started sinking in. JB hyung just continued talking. I couldn't look away from his eyes so I stared with my eyes as wide as they could go.

"If I could imagine you and not be disgusted then I think...I know these feelings I have. I know the reason I confessed to you is because I really really like you Youngjae. And I'm not changing my mind now, so it won't change later." he finished.

I just continued staring. For who knows how long when I felt my hand being squeezed lightly.

"H-hyung." I mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"You're really making me feel strange."

"How?"

I lowered my head and stared at the silver bracelet. "My heart...it's beating so fast." I admitted.

"Because you love me."

I lifted my head and we caught eyes once again. Not knowing what to say I just turned towards the tv and lowered myself on the couch.

I love JB hyung.

A long silence passed. JB hyung got up and I guessed he went to the bathroom. He sat back down next to me when he returned. I thought we finished talking.

"Are you still up for talking?" he suddenly asked.

I glanced at him, realizing he wasn't looking at me. "Yes." I quickly replied.

He nodded, but didn't look at me still. Instead he stared at the tv.

What is it? A few minutes ago you were saying all these embarrassing things. Now you're suddenly quiet hyung.

"What is it hyung?" I asked after a short silence.

"Remember what we did before I left for service?"

"H-huh?" it was as soon as I mumbled this that I quickly remembered exactly what he was talking about. What else could he be talking about? We just learned all this stuff in Japan so of course he's talking about that.

That night.

"Hey. I thought you said we can talk." JB hyung suddenly said.

"W-we can." I quickly said. "I'm just surprised." I mumbled, my heart wanting to jump out of my chest.

I have to be an adult about this.

"Surprised? Of what?" JB hyung asked.

"I-I just. I didn't think we would talk about it so soon." I quickly said, staring at my hands.

"You don't want to talk about it?" he asked.

I really do. But I'm so nervous.

"I-I do?" I replied, confusing myself. I didn't even sound like I did.

Do you want to or not Youngjae? What is this? How can I be so embarrassed about this when I was okay talking with Jun hyung about it? But this isn't Jun hyung. It's JB hyung! Does this mean he wants to do that...what I learned...he wants to do that...now?

"Youngjae!"

"Yes!" I yelled, quickly turning to catch eyes with him. We stared at each other. JB hyung of course stared at me hard, with worry on his face.

"What are you thinking? Breath." he said loudly. I nodded and breathed.

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this so soon." he sighed and crossed his arms across his chest, running a hand through his red hair. I remember the reactions everyone had to his new hair. But there wasn't a lot of shock, well only my mom was so shocked and even scolded JB hyung a little.

But now the color is fading away. I can barely see it.

A short silence passed.

"Hyung. I want to talk about this with you. Now." I said.

Another short silence passed.

"Youngjae." I could feel him staring at me so I gathered up my courage and lifted my head, slowly turning to catch eyes with him.

"Yes?"

We stared at each other hard. I already knew exactly what he was talking about, but if I admit it then I will get even more nervous and the courage I fought for will definitely dissapear.

"Remember what we did?" JB hyung asked again. Still facing him I looked around the room, looking at everything but those intense eyes.

"Yeah...we talked about that right? K-kissing." I quickly said, remembering that night exactly before JB hyung left for service.

He just continued staring at me. I could feel his eyes on me. I could feel myself getting so nervous because he was really staring at me so hard. I opened my mouth to tell him to stop staring at me so hard when his sudden laugh caught my attention.

"W-what..." I mumbled, playing with my trembling fingers.

"I mean after we talked Youngjae. What we tried that night. You don't remember?" he asked. I couldn't dare look at him. When JB hyung said he wanted to talk I at least knew what he wanted to talk about and now that we are I don't think I can talk about it.

The memory of that night two years ago quickly came into my head and I lowered my head in embarrassment as I remembered what we tried. JB hyung and I haven't done what Jun and Jinyoung-sshi taught us, but we have tried something else, and we haven't tried it again since that night.

Using hands.

I remembered two years ago before he left for military service we tried...well JB hyung tried. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't do it right at all. That's really as far as we've gone ever and we haven't talked about it or tried again once after that night.

"I remember." I finally replied.

A very long silence passed. I didn't think JB hyung was going to talk anymore so I opened my mouth to say something when he suddenly interrupted me.

"Maybe we can start with that for now." he suddenly said.

I quickly lifted my head and looked at him, now feeling my face and ears go really hot. As if they weren't already. I found myself sitting in heat. I could tell my whole body was red.

"W-wha-hyung what are you saying?" I hit him on the arm and chuckled nervously.

"I'm saying let's start doing that Youngjae." he suddenly said, now in a serious voice.

I stopped laughing and stared at him. I couldn't see what expression he had because he was staring at the tv and I didn't have the courage to move in front of him to see what look he had.

Sitting in silence, I replayed the events of that night two years ago over and over and over. Even if JB hyung wants to do that again, I still don't know how to do it. I still haven't tried it ever before.

I remember that night I kept thinking things like isn't this what couples do...be able to touch each other? Be comfortable with each other. Something JB hyung and I have never tried before. So why am I still so nervous after two years?

And even though I had those thoughts and even managed to convince JB hyung to teach me, I still couldn't do it.

That night I really thought that that was how...between two guys. I was really too innocent back then. Because now I know that there's more than that. That night two years ago was definitely not how to do it between two guys. Not at all.

"You don't want to?" JB hyung suddenly asked.

With my nervously trembling hands, I lifted my head a little and stared at the tv for a while in silence.

"Is this what you were trying to do the morning after you came back?" I surprised myself by asking. I still haven't forgotten that morning when a drunk JB hyung suddenly pushed me down and started doing a lot that surprised me and shocked me.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Uh...um...actually hyung...you tried before right? When you came back from service." I quickly said.

"Huh? When?" he suddenly asked.

He still doesn't remember? Well...he was drunk. He didn't say anything about it that morning when we woke up.

"The morning when we got home from your welcome back party. I think...I think you wanted to try...but I was so nervous and a little shocked. Because you were drinking at the party." I nervously chuckled.

"Youngjae." he suddenly grabbed my hand. I lifted my head and caught eyes with him.

"What did I do?" JB hyung suddenly looked really worried. He looked confused and worried. He kept squeezing my trembling hand and I could only stare at him, my heart beating so fast.

"Nothing." I finally said. "You didn't do anything. We couldn't do anything because I was too nervous." I quickly said.

He stared at me hard. "Sorry. I'm sorry." he suddenly apologized.

It shocked me a little because it was so sudden, and when I turned to look, JB hyung had a strange look on his face. I didn't understand what he was apologizing for. It was because of me stopping him that we couldn't do anything.

"W-what are you apologizing for hyung? I said you didn't do anything. If I wasn't so nervous maybe we could do it now without me getting so embarrassed." I admitted, chuckling nervously and pushing his shoulder. He just continued to look at me.

"If it ever happens again stop me Youngjae. I'm not joking." he suddenly said. "If you don't feel comfortable or feel nervous or scared. Tell me. Stop me. Don't think that you're doing anything wrong. I won't drink again."

"W-what hyung!" I laughed loudly and pushed his shoulder. "I told you we didn't do anything." I said.

"I'll stop. You don't like it either right? You hate smokers and you always tell me not to drink." he suddenly said. "If you don't do it then I won't do it."

I stared at him, so shocked, but only being able to respond with a nod.

"Stop looking at me so hard." I quickly said. "You're really making me nervous." I said, trying to change the subject. JB hyung was being so serious and it made me speechless.

"Sorry." he suddenly said again. I didn't look at him to see what expression he had on his face, still too embarrassed and shocked.

A very long silence passed.

"But if we could do something like that without soju, then I think we can do anything Youngjae." JB hyung suddenly said.

My heart couldn't take all the words coming out of his mouth. All the words that all pointed towards what I learned in Japan.

"Are you scared?" he suddenly asked.

"I didn't say that." I quickly replied, unable to look at him. A shorter silence passed now and I just played with my fingers, not knowing what to say at all. How could I reply to him?

"Do you really not remember?" JB hyung suddenly asked.

"I do. I remember everything." I replied.

The memories are very clear. What JB hyung and I tried before he left. With all clothes on, but suddenly JB hyung's hand started...touching me...and I tried my best to copy. I remember it all. Even though we went that far back then, in the two years he was gone, it really all went away.

The confidence I had to try doing that again.

Now that he's suddenly back and willing to try more I'm nervous. If I thought I could do it again before, I don't think I can now. Especially now that I've learned everything I can. What we did that night. That's no where near how two guys can do it like I thought. It's even more than that. Meaning I'm so embarrassed over something that I really shouldn't be so embarrassed about because there's even more to it all.

Now since we both know what happens after what we did that night, it's all so embarrassing that I could die.

With JB hyung I think I can do it but...it's still really scary. Something like what Jun hyung taught me is something that's really scary and something that probably hurts and something that I don't really know if I can do or not even though I want to for JB hyung, for our relationship.

"You're thinking about something. Tell me what you're thinking."

"What? It's...embarrassing."

"Hey."

I lowered my head and nodded.

"With that...I remember. I remember I couldn't do it too. It's so embarrassing. I thought...I thought that was how you do it...for two guys." I admitted. "I never imagined it is way more than that."

JB hyung didn't say anything.

"Did you know?" I whispered, a little too nervous to really ask with confidence.

"Huh?"

"That there's more than just that?" I asked.

"Yeah." JB hyung answered so straightforward and I didn't think my body could become even hotter. "I kind of knew. In school my erted classmates talked about it. Yeah. I guess I kind of knew a little about it." he finished with a silence. I quickly glanced at him and he was staring so hard at me.

Quickly I looked away, my heart pounding.

"H-hyung!" I yelled.

"Huh? What?"

"You're staring." I mumbled.

"What did you say?" he asked.

A short silence passed. I knew he was staring even harder at me, trying to figure out what I said. I sometimes wonder how JB hyung can have such an intense stare that makes me start sweating so easily.

What is this? He's so cool.

"Hyung."

"Yeah?"

"What do you think about?" I asked.

"Huh?" he sounded confused.

"When you're staring so hard. I've always wondered what you're thinking about." I gathered up the courage to ask.

"That I want to kiss you." once again JB hyung answered so straightforward that it still shocked and surprised me. But I've also heard him say it before.

"W-what..." I whined and pushed his shoulder.

That's all he's thinking about?

"Youngjae."

"That's all?" I surprised myself by asking.

"No." he replied.

I turned my head to look at him. We caught eyes and he wouldn't stop staring at me so hard, so I couldn't calm down at all.

"I'm thinking...I really like this person. I really really like this person. How can I like you so much? What can I do to show you I like you?"

His embarrassing words made me turn away from him. JB hyung suddenly squeezed my hand. "You wanted to know." he said.

"I did. Thanks for telling me." I awkwardly mumbled.

"What are you thinking right now?" he asked

"That's you're saying embarrassing things and it's making me really nervous." I replied.

He laughed.

"Hyung. You know...you don't have to touch me for me to be embarrased. Sometimes your words. They make me really embarrassed. They make me nervous." I admitted, once again surprising myself.

"Why?"

"Because...because...I don't know. I don't feel like this with anyone but you hyung. I don't know why I get so embarrased around you."

"Because you love me." he suddenly said again.

I chuckled and turned to face him, nodding. "I really like you hyung." I said. He smiled wide at me, with all his teeth showing. He suddenly leaned in, but then stopped.

I smiled and leaned in too. With that we kissed. JB hyung didn't start it. I didn't start it, but we both started it. I felt myself fall back on the couch like earlier, but this time I wasn't as nervous as before. Instead I tried to copy JB hyung like I always try to do.

With my heart beating so fast and my hands trembling, I slipped my hand inside JB hyung's shirt like he did to me. At first I just left it laying on his back, not having the courage to do what JB hyung was doing inside my shirt, but soon I started moving my hand.

I felt so embarrassed. JB hyung suddenly bit my ear and I chuckled and whined at him. He chuckled in my ear and we kissed again slowly. I took out my hand from inside his shirt and just rested it on his back.

Suddenly there was a sharp sting on my neck and I quickly pulled away. "Ah-ow. Hyung..." I winced at the sudden sting. "Ah-what is that? What are you doing?" my hand quickly went to the spot on my neck and covered it.

"Sorry." JB hyung mumbled. I could hear him laughing in my ear though.

"W-what....hyung. That hurt." I mumbled, still covering the spot. "Did you bite me?" I asked, remembering him biting my ear so suddenly. That didn't surprise me because he did that before he left for service, the night he returned when he was drunk, and in Japan.

But JB hyung has never bit my neck before.

"Sorry." he apologized again. "I can hear your heart beating so loudly." he said.

I froze and stared at the ceiling. I started pushing his shoulders and JB hyung got up and stared down at me. I lifted my hand and touched the part I could hear and feel so clearly. "Yours is beating even louder hyung." I said. He stared at me with a surprised look on his face.

Suddenly he fell back down and this time put his full weight on me. I could feel his breath of my neck. I just laid there, one hand covering the spot he bit and another on his back. We laid in the position with his full weight on me for so long when I suddenly started feeling uncomfortable.

"Hyung...are you sleeping? You're heavy." I said.

"I'm awake." he mumbled.

"Are you going to get up?" I asked, after a short silence.

"No." he replied.

"W-what hyung..." I laughed and finally removed the hand from my neck. "What do you mean no? You're really heavy." I continued laughing, now trying to push him off.

"I want to kiss you again." JB hyung suddenly said. His breath hit my neck and I stopped trying to pull him off.

Another long silence passed and I knew JB hyung could feel my sudden heart beat so loudly. He was waiting for my answer like he usually does before we kiss.

Does he mean what he was saying earlier? About starting to do that again? What we did before he left for service?

"Hyung..." I mumbled.

Suddenly I could feel JB hyung's heart beat over mine so loudly. I lifted my hands and patted his back.

"Hyung. Hyung are you nervous?" I nervously asked.

JB hyung chuckled. "Really nervous." he replied. "You?"

"Me too." I smiled.

Another short silence passed.

"JB hyung?" I mumbled.

"Hm?"

"We can do that if you want." I said it quickly and he suddenly lifted himself up and looked down at me. I turned my head to the side, staring at the tv in embarrassment.

"What?" he asked.

Why is he making me say it again? But I have to get the courage and say it. Jun hyung said I have to be confident. I'm not a kid.

"I said-I said we can do that. What you said. What we did before you left." I quickly said again, this time turning my head so we stared at each other. JB hyung stared at me so hard and I tried to stop my trembling hands and not look away.

JB hyung suddenly started laughing and I stared at him. He covered half his face and I could only lay there, feeling his whole body shaking from laughing so hard.

"What? What?" I whined, a little annoyed at his reaction. "Why are you laughing?"

"You always surprise me Youngjae." he said between laughing. "You really always surprise me." he repeated.

"Surprise you? How?" I asked.

"Remember that night you told me to come sleep with you and even told me to kiss you yourself?" he suddenly asked.

"Huh? No. I don't." I felt my cheeks going hot.

"You still don't remember? That morning I told you and you didn't remember. But when you asked me that night I was so surprised. Like how I'm surprised now." he said.

I stared at him and he suddenly started chuckling. "You can barely say you love me but you can say something like this. You can easily say you want to do that with me." he said.

"I really don't remember hyung but...I'm not a kid anymore. I've learned everything right? I can't be so nervous anymore." I quickly said.

"Your whole body is shaking. Your heart is beating so loud."

I stared up at him.

JB hyung sighed and nodded. Once again he lowered himself down.

"W-wait hyung." I stopped him, a hand going to his shoulder and lightly tapping it. JB hyung stopped and looked down at me.

"I know I said we can but...I still want to but...how about later?" I asked.

He stared at me.

"I mean..." I pointed to the large balcony window. "It's still light outside. We have all day right?" I quickly said.

He smiled and nodded. "To talk some more." he said.

"Hyung..." I whined. "There's more to talk about?" I asked.

"You told me everything you're worried about right?" he asked. I nodded. "I did. It feels like something big is lifted off my shoulder." I chuckled.

JB hyung nodded and smiled before pushing himself up, pulling me up with him. Once again we sat next to each other on the couch, staring at the tv.

"Do you want to finish writing our song?"

A smiled wide. "Yes!" I yelled. JB hyung laughed and stood up. "Are you hungry? How about pizza?" he asked. I laughed and nodded.

He handed me his phone and I called to order pizza while he went into his room.

JB hyung came back with my familiar notebook. He opened it and something fell out onto the floor. I stared at the withered flower and quickly remembered the Restraunt where JB hyung gave it to me.

"The flower." JB hyung said.

I laughed and picked it up. "I didn't know where to put it." I said. "So I put it in here. I guess that was a bad idea."

JB hyung smiled and shook his head no. "I'm more surprised that you still have it." he said.

I smiled and lowered my head. "I didn't want to throw it away. You bought it for me right?" I said.

"Yeah. Let's finish that song Youngjae." he said. I caught the big smile on his face and it made me chuckle. "But we finished it right? That night." I asked, staring as he opened the notebook to the page of our song.

"That morning. It was 1:31am." he said.

I laughed and nodded. "Let's fix it up then. Then we can name it." I said, a little too excited.

JB hyung nodded and we did just that. Not even half an hour later and we were eating pizza, trying to figure out a name for the song.

"I think we wrote a sad song hyung." I laughed. He laughed and nodded.

"How about Never Forget You?" I asked.

He turned to me and made a face. I laughed.

"Smile?"

"That sound so cheesy hyung." I laughed louder.

"Hey."

I quickly apologized, my arms going across my chest.

We sat in silence staring at the tv.

"What time did we finish writing it again hyung?" I asked.

"1:31am exactly." he replied.

"How do you remember hyung." I laughed, turning to look at him. He rolled his shoulder, laughing as he looked at me. "I don't know either." he said.

I chuckled and nodded. "Then how about we just name it that?" I asked.

"1:31am?" he asked.

"The time we finished writing this song. Even though we just fixed it now. We still finished it at that strange time right?" I asked, still laughing.

JB hyung stared at me.

"No?" I asked.

"No. Yes. 1:31am." he said.

I smiled wide and nodded. "Our sad song 1:31am." I said.

We both chuckled and I watched JB hyung write the title of our song on the top of the page. We stared at the lyrics when suddenly JB hyung started singing. He stopped and I continued, then he continued, then we both started singing until we had the rhythm and beat of the song.

With this we both our phones, hit the record buttons, and recorded us singing the song exactly the way we composed it.

"It's really good." I said surprised.

"I think my manager will like it too." JB hyung said.

I glanced at him. "He's going to listen to it?" I asked, a little too excited.

"Do you mind?" JB hyung asked. I smiled and shook my head. "If my dream of becoming a singer doesn't come true, then at least I can write songs with you JB hyung." I smiled wide.

He smirked. "I thought you want to become a music therapist." he said.

"That's my career dream. My childhood dream was to be a singer. I remember I used to beg my parents to take me to singing lessons but they never did. So I practiced myself when I had time." I laughed.

"And that's why you have such an amazing voice." JB hyung suddenly said.

"W-what..." I hit him on the shoulder, laughing as his cheesiness. "This hyung..." I mumbled, covering my face.

"Hey, it's always hyung hyung hyung. Call me by my name Youngjae." he suddenly said. "Like I'm doing now. Youngjae. Youngjae. Choi Youngjae." he continued repeating my name.

"What..." I laughed loudly and hit his shoulder again. "You're acting like a child hyung." I said.

"Hey!" I laughed loudly when his arm went around my shoulder and JB hyung pulled me close to him. He started pulling my ear and it just made me laugh even harder.

"Ok. Ok. I give up. I give up. I'm sorry." I quickly started apologizing when he suddenly started tickling me.

Laughing loudly JB hyung finally let me go and I grabbed my hurting side from laughing so hard.

"You're still saying this hyung. I remember at the Restraunt in Japan you told me not to call you hyung. You were annoyed when I did." I chuckled.

"Of course I would be annoyed. It was a date." he suddenly said.

My heart skipped a beat. I stared at him, both amused and a little nervous at what he was going to say.

"You didn't want me to call you hyung because it was a date?" I asked.

"I'm not your brother Youngjae. I'm your boyfriend." he suddenly said.

I turned to him and he was staring at the tv. My heart was beating so fast. Now JB hyung is saying all these new things. Like using the word boyfriend, saying he loves me, saying he wants to try stuff.

Something really happened at service right?

"Yo-you're my boyfriend." I nervously repeated.

He suddenly turned to me and inched very close to my face. "What else am I to you Youngjae?" he suddenly asked.

I quickly looked away and pulled back. "W-wha-what do you mean? You-you are. We are..." I stopped talking, so nervous my whole body was trembling.

"Hey." A hand lifted mine in its warmth and I stared at our interlocked hands.

"You're my boyfriend." I finished my words.

"Yeah. And you're my boyfriend." JB hyung repeated and I quickly pulled my hand away and covered my obviously red face. I could feel my face even hotter than earlier when I got too embarrassed.

"Don't act like this. I've already confessed to you." he said.

"It's just...you're saying so many new things today. I never thought real man JB hyung would say such embarrassing things." I said, wide eyed. He stared at me for a few minutes, chuckled, and suddenly ran a hand through my hair. I stared at him as he did it again and one more time.

"What?" I asked as soon as we caught eyes. His hand was still in my hair, holding my bangs up so my forehead was exposed.

"Remember that day at your house. After Chuseok when I came to pick you up and your mom was mad at you for getting the piercing?" he suddenly asked.

"Ah...yeah." I smiled at the memory, a little confused at why he suddenly brought it up. I lifted my hand and pulled his hand from my hair, patting down my bangs.

JB hyung laughed. "Remember when you asked why I stare at you so much?" he asked.

"Where are you going with this hyung? You already said what you're thinking when you stare at me so hard. Are you trying to make me embarrassed again?" I asked.

He laughed. "How can your face get so red?" he suddenly asked.

"W-what!" I yelled and lifted myself up, stretching wide. "I'm going to get water. Do you want some? How about more cola?" I asked. JB hyung stared up at me with a smirk on his face. He nodded and I walked away, my face completely red like he said earlier. I could feel it.

"Hey! Youngjae!" JB hyung suddenly yelled. I grabbed two bottles of water and a large bottle of cola and quickly walked back.

"What did I say?" he asked. I gave him his water, put down the cola, and stared down at him.

"Huh?" I asked, drinking water. I lowered myself down and grabbed a slice of pizza.

"I want to hear you say it. What did I say when you asked why I stare so much?" he asked again.

"We already talked about this hyung." I said, confused at his sudden will to make me say what he said earlier about what he thinks about when he stares at me so hard.

"Not what I think about. Why I stare." he suddenly said.

I looked at him a little confused.

"Isn't it the same thing?" I asked. He shook his head no and I almost laughed at his sudden determined face.

What did he say back then?

I slowly remembered the exact day. It seems it was the same answer as to what he's thinking about. I stared down at him. JB hyung didn't say anything and I started fighting myself to stop standing there eating pizza and gather the courage to repeat the words he said to me that morning.

"Something about a kiss? You said...you said you stare at me because you want to k-kiss right?" I finally said, looking away from him, staring at the tv. "It's what you said earlier."

"When the guys at service always talked about their girlfriends. Do you remember what I said I told them when they asked me if I had a girlfriend?" he suddenly asked.

What's with all the questions so suddenly?

I slowly sat down in my original spot. "I don't remember." I replied. JB hyung suddenly grabbed my hand and lightly squeezed it. We caught eyes and he started talking.

"I told them that I have someone I like. A very cute person with a square face that always makes me laugh. This person gets embarrassed easily so I have to try not to make them embarrassed. This person likes to laugh a lot and has a loud, annoying, and cute laugh. This is the person I like and am slowly starting to love with all my heart. This is the person I want to spend a long time with, whether or not we stay together, but I wish to stay with this person for a long time like this. Together. But I don't really know this person's feelings yet, so I hope one day they will tell me exactly how they feel." he said.

I quickly remembered it all. He didn't even have to to win saying it all. The words and the scene from that day quickly came back. I was surprised he said it exactly like how he said it years ago while we were sitting at the eating table. I remember exactly everything single word JB hyung said.

"I remember." I said, looking away.

"After I said it they made fun of me every day for the next year. I didn't even know I could say those words myself." JB hyung laughed.

I smiled.

"Hey." JB hyung tugged my hand and it made me lift my head and catch eyes with him. I chuckled.

"Youngjae?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

My heart definitely skipped a beat.

I have to reply. I'm so nervous but I have to reply.

JB hyung looked like he was about to look away when I tightened my hold on his hand. He stared at me hard again.

"I like you hyung. Like how you like me. I like you." I said, so embarrassed that I pulled my hand away and got up. "I'll go to the bathroom." I quickly said. I didn't miss the wide smile on his face before I hurriedly walked to the bathroom.

The thought from earlier when I told him my heart beats so fast and he makes me nervous suddenly came back.

I think I love JB hyung too.

I didn't spend much time in the bathroom. When I walked back out JB hyung was cleaning up our mess. I looked at the time and it passed by a lot. We sat there talking and eating for hours.

"I'll go shower." JB hyung suddenly said. I nodded and watched him walk away, blinking again and again.

I'll tell him when I get the courage. I'll surprise him.

I smirked at the thought and smiled at my own cheesiness. I never imagined the day I would use such a big word to someone. But at this point I've started understanding my feelings towards JB hyung.

I sat and watched tv, waiting for the shower to turn off. When it did I quickly gathered myself and ran to the bathroom just as JB hyung walked out with a towel around his waist.

I walked past him, teasing him about his exposed body before I closed the bathroom door and laughed loudly. I couldnt believe it. Only a few weeks ago I couldn't even look at JB hyung's stomach without getting embarrassed, and now I could easily . I just laughed and the shower, wondering if the talk we had and the day we spent together was exactly what JB hyung and I needed all this time.

I finished quickly and walked out fully dressed with a towel in my hair, JB hyung scolded me to go properly dry my hair and I chuckled and did. When I returned again he was in my room. I smirked at all the lights turned off, slowly walking into my room to find JB hyung on his computer sitting on my bed.

"Hey. Hyung. Why my bed again? Your bed is bigger." I said.

"You want to sleep in my room today?" he asked.

I laughed and nodded. He nodded and got up. I followed JB hyung all the way into his room, crawling over to my side of the wall and falling down, arms flat on either side of me as I stared at the ceiling. "I'm so tired." I yawned loudly and attempted to stretch.

The bed moved and I felt JB hyung lay down next to me with his computer.

"Are you playing a game?" I asked, pulling myself up to look at the screen. JB hyung was watching b-boy dancers. I smiled wide, amazed at the moves they were doing.

"Didn't you say that you're tired?" JB hyung suddenly asked. We caught eyes and he was smirking. It surprised me so I laughed and nodded, laying on my back and staring at the ceiling again.

JB hyung suddenly turned off his computer. The bed moved and I watched JB hyung go switch off the lights. I continued staring at the ceiling until the room went dark and I suddenly remembered something.

The bed moved again and when I felt JB hyung under the covers I gathered the courage to say something.

"Are we still going to do that?" I asked.

I heard a small chuckle. "You're tired Youngjae. I'm tired. Let's go to sleep for tonight." JB hyung suddenly said.

I smiled and nodded.

"Good night hyung."

"Yeah.Hey, don't sleep so much. I'm waking you up early tomorrow so we can eat before we leave." he mumbled back.

I chuckled. "Ok." I replied.

It wasn't long after that when an arm and a leg fell over me. I was half asleep but I couldn't help chuckling.

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