This is it. The day of reckoning Soonyoung so actively despises. Sure, it’s just the midterms. Nonetheless he’s nervous. On the edge throughout class, his normally soft and comfy jumper suddenly feeling coarse against his arms.

The results normally come out some time before or during lunch block. So Soonyoung walks out of class with heavy shoulders and an uncertain heart. He doesn’t know. Was his revision sufficient? Did he actually understand the Literature text or was it his own arrogant misinterpretation? Had he practiced enough math problems?

Normally he pushes the thoughts to the back of his mind, but today they all come to haunt him. And like always he’s a coward, so rather than facing them head-on he chickens out to eat first.

Seungkwan and his girlfriend are in the canteen too, taking full advantage of the short queues and relatively empty canteen to indulge in feeding each other and comforting each other over receiving grades. Like the ultimate unwanted third-wheel, he sits at the far corner and munches away. No need to let his own doom and gloom bother the happy couple, really.

Sitting here, for the first time it feels a little lonely. Sure, he has plenty of friends who will comfort him if he’s upset. Yet he knows that in times like this where everyone is on the edge, his friends will find their girlfriends and boyfriends first.

It’s expected, Soonyoung knows that. If they actually do go to him, he’d probably send them to find their other half. But in this moment he feels small. He’s always believed that relationships aren’t something you rush headfirst into otherwise you end up hurt. He still believes so, but what if that’s another one of his excuses so his fragile ego won’t get hurt when he finds out no one loves him?

Maybe he’s young and stupid, scratch that, he is young and stupid. So something small like grades, clubs and relationships seem so moneumentually important. Probably in five years time they’ll become fond memories he’ll gloss over and forget. But in the here and now, being alone at a time like this is kind of raw. He looks over at Seungkwan, they both look so happy.

Soonyoung wonders how that would feel like. Someone to comfort him wholeheartedly about his grades, someone who has eyes for only him. A person he can lean on during bad days and share happy feeling when times are good. An existence he feels the need to protect at all costs, someone who understands him and vice versa.

Soonyoung doesn’t know what love exactly feels like. But from what he sees and hears, he’d like to love too. 

----

“Yah, you lost again!”

A familiar voice jolts him from his thoughts. Turning around, Soonyoung sees the angel and evil incarnate couple moving over to their table. How does Joshua remain so nice despite spending so much time with Jeonghan? He must truly be Something Holy.

“Congratulations on your excellent exam scores, that’s what Jeonghan meant to say. They just came out. ”  Joshua hits Jeonghan lightly, tutting at his bad boyfriend.

“I totally came here to poke fun at Soonyoung, don’t make me sound like a good guy!” Jeonghan is pouting now. Not that anyone actually needed that clarification. Maybe when you first knew Jeonghan and wondered how such snarky words could come out from an angelic face, just maybe. But despite how much his fangirls like to deny it, Jeonghan just isn’t an angel.  

Soonyoung sighs. He’s been focusing on his food for the whole lunch break so he wouldn’t be that anxious student pacing up and down outside the office and jumping at the sight of any teachers holding any papers. He’d done that once in first year and it was No Fun.

“Guess we should go meet our doom now.” Seungkwan grumbles. His girlfriend comforts him by saying that he never messes up his papers. And that’s not blind praise at all, Seungkwan is the absolute king of consistency. Always scores within the same range of marks. Nothing like Soonyoung’s grade which seem to fluctuate faster than his moods.

---

Ah. Seokmin went and did it. Lee Seokmin actually went and did it.

The perfect jackass actually went and scored full marks on the notoriously difficult Physics midterms.

Mr. Kye was going to throw a fit.

Well damn, there’s just no way Soonyoung can beat him at anything, is there? Seokmin is the better student, the braver person, the best altogether, actually. It’s just like that. Lee Seokmin can score a perfect 100 if he sets his mind to it. All Soonyoung can do is counter with a weak 97.

Normally Soonyoung would be grumbling and cursing at the stupid taller boy, but today he just blinks as he tilts his neck up to look at Seokmin’s name at #1.

Normally he’d be mad because why the hell does this guy get to sleep in class and score better than him? Seokmin doesn’t work hard enough, he’s way to arrogant and flippant. He’s just a talented jerk, that’s all.

Yet today he looks at the 100 on the board and thinks that yes, Lee Seokmin deserves that. He more than deserves that. If Mr. Kye gave bonus marks like the Literature department on the close-ended section of the paper, Lee Seokmin deserves to get a 105.

And even though Kwon Soonyoung still hates losing, it feels okay to lose to Seokmin. Because Seokmin won’t step on him to get ahead. Instead he’s the type to help people from the top, bringing Soonyoung up instead of dragging him down.

“You okay?” Seungkwan snaps his finger in front of Soonyoung’s face, startling him. Ugh, did he zone out again? He needs to ditch that habit fast.

“I’m fine. More than fine. Seokmin just did real good. I’m happy for him. Now we can rub it in Mr. Kye’s face that the Physics midterms aren’t impossible to ace.”

Seungkwan studies his face suspiciously.

“Really.”

Well damn, that’s news to Boo Seungkwan. And he’s always on the top of the school gossip. Kwon Soonyoung, his best friend since forever being okay with losing? Stop the press, the school gossip machine should circulate this all the way to the Principal’s office! Soonyoung is never okay with losing. He’s a graceful loser, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t wallow in a pool of (misguided) angst for a day or two.

But then he knows Soonyoung. And Soonyoung’s a liar.

Heh, would you look at that.

Soonyoung’s gone totally soft for Lee Seokmin. So cute. Cupid Boo does a happy little tap dance in his head. Even though Cupid Boo always knew this would happen. Of course after all the time he kept insisting that Seokmin actually studied hard finally sunk in after Soonyoung saw it for himself. As with all the other numerous great characteristics that Seokmin always had hidden under his harsh words and snarky words.

“You should see this, look.”

Seungkwan turns to look at his girlfriend. Yeah, he always wants to look at his girlfriend. How is she always so perfect, how can such a human even exist on this planet? Seungkwan demands to know. He also demands to know just what he did in past life to be able to date her. Probably saved the entire Earth from global warming, an alien invasion and the apocalypse in his spare time. Past Boo must have been the savior of all and hero to mankind.    

But obviously that’s not what she’s talking about, even though Seungkwan will happily gaze upon her for days on end. She’s pointing at one of the boards on the right.

“Holy crap.”

“What? There’s nothing special?” Soonyoung scans the board. “Seokmin scored 76, he should totally be scoring better but Ms. Han hates him? So nothing that surprising?”

While Cupid Boo is glad that Soonyoung only has eyes for Seokmin, Seungkwan is furious that Soonyoung can’t see the obvious. Or more like, won’t even look for something like that.

“You fool, look up.”

“Eh? Jihoon isn’t first, that’s - WHAT? ”

Soonyoung blinks. Then he rubs his eyes.

“Slap me, I’m dreaming.”

Seungkwan actually slaps him. Hell, he asked for it. Because hello, idiot needs some sense slapped straight into him.

“Ow! But seriously, I didn’t write an exceptional essay or anything? I mean it is true that Jihoon is way good at Literature even when you remove Ms. Han bias from the- owww!”

“Just shut up and be happy, idiot.”

“I will when I can believe it.”

“Why can’t you? Topping the level without trying, that’s such a Kwon Soonyoung thing to do.”

He jumps. When did Seokmin get here? And why is he leaning on his shoulder like it’s the most comfortable headrest in the world?

The gentle pressure on his shoulder feels nice. So does the way Seokmin drapes his other arm over him, pulling him into some backhug of sorts. He’s warm. It’s distracting.  

“More like a Lee Seokmin thing to do. Perfect score, are you kidding me. That’s too much. How am I supposed to fight that?”  

“We can share. Your three marks are probably careless mistakes anyway.”

Too close. Seokmin seems to pull Soonyoung even tighter this time. His soft hair tickles at his nape, and Soonyoung finds his hand moving upward almost naturally to ruffle his hair.

Soonyoung can feel himself melting. It doesn’t mean anything, he knows this too. Yet his heart is filled with warm emotions, the feeling of being doted on.

Even if it’s an illusion, he doesn’t want this feeling to disappear. 

“Didn’t Seokmin promise to treat us is he got full marks?” Seungkwan says, voice sing-songy. “I know just the place.” 

Oh yeah. Cupid Boo is way back in business. 

a/n: thank you all for waiting for me after all this time >///< hope you enjoy this chapter too! ^^