Seoul Mall Building, May 2012

SNSD held a small fanmeeting, an off-air one. Around 1000 people came, the tickets sold out within a minute. The quickest tickets sold were the fansign ticket. Of course Sone would not waste their opportunity to get closer to their bias, talking to them, and if they were lucky their bias will shake their hand as a bonus, don’t forget the signed CD. At that occasion also Sone had their chance to give their lovely idol a gift. The gifts collected at the special place and would be delivered to SNSD members. SNSD members theirselves were always happy receiving so many gifts. Sometimes if they like the presents, they would take it to their room. Just like Kim Taeyeon. Unlike the other gifts she’d ever got, this present is pretty special for her. A handkerchief. She never got that before, usually fans would gave her dolls, chocolate, or clothes, but never a handkerchief. She was surprised by the beautiful color of it, with flower and butterfly patterns. There’s s note inside the box.

“For: Kim Taeyeon

Use it when you’re crying. D”

 She freezed for a minute. An idol supposed to smile, act bright and cheerful in front of the fans. They had to bring good images to the world. But here, one of her fans, giving a tool to wipe her tears. As if they knew that she lately had a tough time.

Her memories brought her back to months ago. When she woke up alone in a hotel. She didn’t even remember how she could slept in that hotel. But she remembered her dream. Very vivid dream she had. That someone from the past, he, the one she was trying to forget, came to touch her cheeks in her sleep, saying comforting things, affectionate one. Somehow healing her broken heart after breaking up with Jeongsu, and at the same time also pouring salt into her wounded heart. It reminded her the days without him.

The next days she cried and cried and cried, her sisters worried about her but no one asked. Seems that they had already known about that from one of Super Junior member. But actually, Taeyeon wasn’t crying about Park Jeongsu anymore. She cried over her dream. She didn’t know why it feel so painful inside her heart. She had already passed acceptance phase in understanding Jiyong’s leaving, but now it went back to anger. Why, why he did that?

Her bestfriend Tiffany once said. “ I am pretty sure you have some feelings to Jiyong Oppa, not just an ordina