To Taekwoon, Hakyeon was a wonder. How could this person had the ability to smile everytime? He smiled during greetings, he smiled during practices, he smiled when he was talking to others. Like any normal person, he did had his moments of being serious, anxious or stressed but he still smiled the most among the other trainees.

His smiles were a blessing and he was grateful for Hakyeon’s existence though he was too scared to show it.

Then, he became Leo and Hakyeon became N officially.

He said that N bothered him 24/7 but he appreciated the smiles he received every time. It was a constant in their hectic idol lives.

However, there was a moment that he HATED that smile. Obviously, he didn’t say it out loud but whenever N smiled, he had the urge to wipe the smile off his face.

Further thoughts on this matter revealed that, fortunately, he did not hate all of N’s smiles. He liked his satisfied smile whenever a performance went well. He liked his warm smile that propel the members to keep going. He liked his triumphant smile when he got to take the first shower or when he managed to get the last stock of banana milk at the supermarket.

Leo discovered that he disliked N’s forced smile whenever a negative comment reached their attention. He disliked his pained smile when the tight schedule became too much for him. He disliked his tiny smile of forced agreement when a member refused to listen to his opinions. Leo recalled seeing that half-hearted smile when the company elected him as a leader of the trainees and soon the leader of VIXX.

He could barely understand N’s struggles to be a leader even though he never needed to lead during his childhood as the youngest in his family. Leo also slightly understood the difference between their real personality and their idol persona. Leo and Ken was almost similar to Taekwoon and Jaehwan but Hakyeon and N were different.

Hakyeon was a natural giver of genuine smiles but N was a performer, an actor. Each smile was chosen as the best in any situation, either on stage or off stage. This included the fake smiles that both Taekwoon and Leo hated.

They spent most of their time as Leo and N. Leo covered his real feelings behind his natural cold facade but N did things differently. He himself created a box where he shoved his true feelings into it to make way for smiles that everyone was so hungry for. Leo could easily let some steam off because he was the same to anybody else but N did not had the freedom. There were more eyes on him.

One day, Leo could not take it anymore. N’s box was about to burst but he vainly tried to hold it together behind loose strings of lies of ‘I’m okay’ or ‘I’m fine’. N’s struggle eclipsed Hakyeon’s need for a break and it was damaging his own soul.

Sending a word to the other members was difficult for him but they understood each other enough to know what was needed to be done. When they arrived home after a day of travelling and performing, Leo grabbed N’s hand and led him into their room.

“What is it, Taekwoon? Is there anything you want to tell me?” N smiled another fake smile. Leo could see how tired he was and he almost hesitated. However, he suspected that Hakyeon knew his plan and was finding a way out, a way to keep his box from exploding into an ugly mess.

Leo felt a sudden urge of anger. He would not stop now. If N wanted to explode, Leo was willing to be the trigger. This was the least he could have done for his life-long friend.

The other members could only keep quiet and went on their business to give their oldest hyungs some space. That thought couldn’t stop them from flinching whenever they heard N raised his voice whether in anger or in sadness. They knew N needed this. They could only wish N could depend on then as they depend on him.

Taekwoon was trying his best to survive the storm that was Hakyeon. His friend was an eloquent speaker but when he went into full rant mode, his words were fast and powerful like surging rapids. Taekwoon could only capture the gist of the rants, starting from anger and pent up rage to worries and uncertainties of the future. Those were not the worst part.

Taekwoon thought he was prepared but he was shook to the core when N began to sob. Thick, ugly sobs that soon transfromed into a fully-blown wail. Without thinking, he hugged his crying friend, just like how he did with Taekwoon and the other members. The vocalist was at his wit’s end when the door opened, reminding him that he was not alone.

The members circled them into a group hug and they spoke the words that Taekwoon wanted to say but could not put it out easily as them.

N finally calmed down and immediately fell asleep with a relieved smile on his face.

Later on, they talked and they shared. They made sure they knew they were not alone, that they were loved and there was no need to hide their flaws in front of each other.

N’s fake smiles still existed but at least, Leo knew it was a necessary evil and N had cut down on using it, letting out more of Hakyeon’s genuine smile. Not only that, N could frown, laugh, cry whenever he needed to, whenever he felt like it ( usually in front of the members only).

Five years later……

They were celebrating Hakyeon’s 28th and Sanghyuk’s 22nd birthday. All of them were having fun and Hakyeon was smiling as bright as the spring’s sun. Taekwoon smiled too. Then, N left to answer a call.

Feeling thisty, Taekwoon also left the living room in search for a cup of water, ignoring the bottle of carbonated sugar.

He entered the kitchen and caught N flashing a fake smile before ending his call. His confidence allowed him to ask and Hakyeon’s trust enabled him to answer.

“My sister wish me happy brithday just now. I just realise that I am getting old. We are getting old and I’ m afraid….”

Taekwoon knew where he was going at and quickly flicked his friend’s wide forehead.

“Yah! What is that for?”, Hakyeon asked while covering his stinging forehead. He was pouting and Taekwoon rolled his eyes. He didn’t flick that hard. Hyuk was only spreading rumours about his mean streak.

“We are getting old and we will be together. We will grow old together even with that growing devil maknae. He is not immortal,” Taekwoon said simply.

Hakyeon stared at him but before he could say anything, Hyuk entered the kitchen and swiped both of their faces with cake.

“You guys take so long so here’s your punishment,” Hyuk cackled evilly and darted out of Leo’s grabbing range, not that he could do anything towards the maknae on top.

N swatted at Leo’s arm. “ Taekwoon, how could you easily summon this evil? You didn’t even say his name.”

N , no, Hakyeon smiled at him, a smile that he translated as a thank you smile. Then, a mischevious smile graced his cake-laden face.

“Let’s get revenge ok? We will show him that he can’t mess with this older birthday boy.” Hakyeon dragged him outside, declaring his vengeance against the maknae.

That night, Hakyeon was smiling with pure happiness and Taekwoon wished he could see it every day when they will grow old together.

Hi. This is my fic in the honour of my ulitimate bias, the great and magnificent Cha Hakyeon.

Thank you for doing your best in what you do and also for teaching me how to smile.

In other words, I'm sorry this is short but this is the best I can do after writing this in the car, cramped between my siblings

and typing in the dark. 

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHA HAKYEON. May you achieve further happiness in your life.

P.S Someone tell me what to do when I'm going to  meet VIXX later this July. bjkdabdd;bkv;;.

I can't believe I have the chance to 

attend my first fan meeting.

All I can think of is freezing on the spot and stare at them with my tounge tied up and butterflies in my stomach

and other nervous expressions.

Ok, enough of my rambling. Have a good day(or night) everyone.

smallbear99