A/N Sorry for this very late update. First of all sorry for all the grammar and spelling errors.  After having much trouble finishing this, I present to you this long one-shot. I hope you enjoy.

P.S Warning for blood and violence. Putiing this here, just in case.

Resonance. A natural phenomenon where an object is forced to vibrate at its maximum amplitude.

That is the scientific term. People understands it as the reason why a glass shatters when an opera singer belts out her powerful voice.

Life is a resonance for Hongbin and he was the glass that was about to shatter.

Everyday, he woke up to Hakyeon's annoyingly loud voice, Jaehwan's incessant chatter, Wonshik's boisterous laugh whenever a joke was truly funny, the clanking of pans and other kicthen utensils courtesy of Taekwoon who was cooking and Sanghyuk's whining as Hakyeon showered him with hugs that he now could get away from due to his unbelievable height.

Don't get him wrong. This cacaphony of morning orchestra was soothing to his ears. It was a constant in his life, the scene was waiting for him to fill it with his sassy banter. He truly felt he belonged with his makeshift family and he would never exchanged it with anything in the whole universe.

When Hakyeon announced it was time for school, Hongbin slumped down into his seat, his sullen demeanor was similar to Jaehwan's, Wonshik's and Sanghyuk's.

Hakyeon grimaced in response of their reaction.

The resonance acutally started when Hongbin first stepped into the school compound.

The two oldest, Hakyeon and Taekwoon separated from the group to get to one of their many part-time jobs while the others were destined to plough through their toughest challenge : high school.

They were losers, that was what other people like to talk about them : the six kids living in a dilapidated apartment owned by a stupid old senile lady. Jaehwan punched the first person who said that though the description was probably stuck in the public's mind.

The really kind old lady was an old friend of Taekwoon's grandmother who took care of him after his entire family died in an accident when he was baby. They all said he was cursed but Hongbin was pretty sure his cooking was a blessing from the heavens.

Jaehwan and Wonshik were runaway buddies and with that reason, they never really told anyone about their past. They let the bruises did the talking.  

Sanghyuk, on the other hand, came from a good family until a woman came into their lives and revealed her affair with Sangyhuk's father to gain some profit but it backfired. He was immediately ejected from the household, causing her to commit suicide while little Sanghyuk sat at the corner in a disgusting motel room which the woman called home. 

Hongbin never had a family worth remembering except for a man who found him abandoned in an alley when he was five. The man successfully tracked down his family but they did not wanted him back because they were convinced that he was bad luck due to a very superstitious and stubborn grandmother.

The man took him in but not for too long. At that time, he was suffering from a fatal disease and as a final act of kindness, he instructed Hongbin to go to a shop that sold dumplings, hoping the elderly owner still retained the kindness he had received from her. She had given him a free dumpling when he stumbled upon her treshold, his starvation was the life out of him.

Before Hongbin left, the man presented him a star-shaped token as a lucky chatm.

At that time, the old woman already had Taekwoon. She almost turned him away. Hongbin gripped the token hard and wished for a miracle. His saviour was  Hakyeon who managed to convince her otherwise.

He was an odd boy, that was much Hongbin knew about him. Hakyeon had this velvety yet strong voice which demanded others to at least listen to him even at the age of eleven.

He took up residence in the cramped room above the woman's shop. He had his own way of living, doing odd jobs that most did not know of. He only asked permission from the owner to let Hongbin stay and he would cover other necessities.

The woman agreed but Hakyeon did not stopped there. He brought home Sanghyuk who was discovered sitting outside the police station in a daze. He persuaded Jaehwan and Wonshik to stay when they broke into his place for food. In other ways, Hakyeon was the one who brought them together.

Not much was known about Hakyeon but despite that he always smiled and never even buckled under the presure of judging people around them. 

Some said that he had a criminal background but spent some time with him, people could mistake him for a normal boy, if they overlooked the fact that he was taking care of five boys including Taekwoon. When the old woman did not have the strength to work anymore, the dumpling shop was closed and she got her income from the scarce rents she received. 

The old woman agreed to let Taekwoon to stay with them but the six of them made sure to see her every day even for a moment. She was their guardian angel who had now fallen into the disgrace of aging so Hakyeon, followed by Taekwoon, sacrificed their school life to support the other four.

Their living conditions was not ideal but Hongbin did not asked anything more.

Other did not thinked so. They were the easy target for bullying and their plight was ignored by the supposedly responsible teachers. Jaehwan and Wonsik usually fought back, their knuckles were calloused from all the punching they did. They did toned down the fighting a bit after seeing Hakyeon got scolded in the teacher's lounge in place for the sick guardian. 

Hongbin and Sanghyuk was not that lucky either. They cannot fought back but Hongbin did his best to cover for Sanghyuk.

They had reported to the teachers but they knew it was futile especially when it came to Dong, the head bully.

 Dong was the golden boy, the chaebol son whose father was filthy rich. That bestwowed him the rights to do anything including making the 4 losers’ lives a living hell inside and outside the school.

Hongbin’s greatest fear, more terrible than drowning in water, was to shatter into pieces permanently and beyond fixing. He could endure and endure as long as he had his family but the fear lingered, like the whispering demons in his head.

Hongbin never paid much attention to the latest news. Information about where Dong was prowling was more important seconded by the knowledge of chemistry that he had to cramped into his head for the upcoming quiz.

On the other hand, Hakyeon paid more attention which was no surprise because he delivered newspapers at the crack of dawn and he had like a ton of conversation materials in his disposal.

One morning, with eternal worry etched on his face, he reminded them to come home directly after school and Taekwoon to make home before dark. When confronted for a reason, he told them that a convicted serial killer had escaped from prison and he would not hesitate to abduct and kill any youth, especially good-looking ones.

Hongbin knew the others would not take it seriously, judging by the upward quirk of their stuffy mouths. That had prompted Hakyeon to make them swear that they would at least come home immediately. This, they promised.

At school, Hongbin was waiting for Sanghyuk by the broken water dispenser. They both had agreed to meet there since it was one of the places Dong would never waste his precious time to come by.

Suddenly, a familiar face caught his eye. He stared hard outside the window, not comprehending the situation outside.

"Hey, hyung! What are you looking at?" Sanghyuk pat his shoulder, causing him to jump with a 'manly' yelp. Behind him, trailed Wonshik who looked extra sleepy today.

Hongbin shushed them, pointing at the window with the air of urgency. Both of them saw what he was looking, Sanghyuk letting out a sharp gasp and Wonshik's  droopy eyes even snapped open.

Dong and his gang was loitering outside the school gate, circling a lone and tall figure. There was no way they could not recognise Jaehwan's trademark nose. He must have forgotten about their arrangement. The said person was unusually quiet and unusually annoyed with the unwanted attention. Due to his happy-go-lucky nature and his knacks of making jokes, Jaehwan had a decent reputation among the students than the other three. However, that did not spared him from being Dong's target.

Without needing any prompt, the trio rushed desperately to Jaehwan's aid but they were too late. The elder was now on the ground being pummeled by Dong's goon while the leader himself stayed behind, inspecting the scene with a sick satisfaction radiating from his uglyand too chubby face.

Wonshik jumped into the fight with a defiant roar but not without warning Hongbin and Sanghyuk to stay behind. Seeing the duo fight together always amazed him but then one of them brandished a knife and sliced at Jaehwan's exposed back. 

The latter fell to his knees. Wonshik retaliated with renewed fury, curses flowing out of his mouth. The knife got the better of him, the cuts became unbearable. 

The lackey with the knife retreated to Dong's side. Dong wiped the said knife with a handkerchief and pocketed it into his pants. The others continued on raining pain down on the incapacitated duo. 

The sight of his beloved hyungs being overwhelmed in such an unfair way shattered something inside him, it was his fear. He grabbed a nearby long stick and mouthed his plan to Sanghyuk who readily agreed with a blazing flame in his eyes, pursed lips and clenching fist.

Silently, Hongbin creeped over to Dong. With no hesitation, he smacked the stick at his back, causing him to tumble forward. Sanghyuk immediately had Dong in a headlock which was easy because Dong was really fat and did not had the strength to rival Sanghyuk's.

"Call off the attack or I spank you so hard that you will squeal like the pig you are," Hongbin growled maliciously towards the fear-stricken guy.

Dong was powerful in his influence, his arrogance and status created a false safe perception that he was untouchable. When he was unexpectedly in another's power, he succumbed into his request.

"STOOOOPPPP!!!" Dong shouted panickedly. Looks of uncertainty and wariness were shared among the gang . They all ignored Jaehwan's and Wonsik's attempt to crawl away from the scene.

The standoff lasted for a few painstaking minutes; Hongbin and Sanghyuk were waiting for the hyungs to reach a safe distance. Hongbin could only think one way to get out of the situation, which was to run. He was about to relay his plan to Sanghyuk when too late he realised he had forgotten about the Dong' pocketed knife.

Sanghyuk cried out in pain when his arm got cut, releasing the chubby gang leader from his hold. His goons, seeing an oppurtunity, advanced towards their boss. Hongbin attempted ( and successfully ) to smack them away with his stick but a cheap shot to his shin sent him to the ground with Sanghyuk following him.

Dong smiled cruelly at them, the knife in his hand was glinting ominously under the sun. They were surrounded and Hongbin could only grip his star token, wishing for a miracle, the same one he received years ago.

Suddenly, a honk blasted into the scene, the obnoxious sound made everyone jump. Some quickly scampered off, leaving a few tenacious followers and Dong himself, his baby-like face was marred by a hideous pout. Two people emerged out of the delivery van, its logo was similar to what his two eldest hyung wore when they went to work.

"Hey, mister. Mind your own business," warned one of Dong's boy. Taekwoon's fist connected to his face at a very high velocity, the boy tumbled down like a fallen tree.

The others parted a way for them but they did not forgot to glare or cracking their knuckles. This escaped both Hakyeon's and Taekwoon's attention as they trudged forward with an  serene yet unreadable expression.

"Hey, back off. Don't you know who I am? You can't touch me, let alone hurt me!" Dong bragged as he pointed his knife at them.

Taekwoon grunted, maybe from annoyance as he gently picked up Sanghyuk while Hakyeon did the same with Hongbin.

"We do not want to hurt you," Hakyeon said with a calm and level voice. 

"Well, your so called brothers attacked while I am here doing nothing. What you want to say about that?"

"I apologise on their behalf", Hakyeon repeated the sentence he had said everytime they got into scraps. Hongbin clenched his fist but he knew he could do nothing.

Nothing.

"That is not an apology. On your knees and say it again." Hongbin was so ready to wipe that triumphant smirk off Dong's face.

"No. I think that is unnecessary. I am older than you, so you can accept my apology the way it is."

"Who do you think you are? Older than me? Pffft, for your information, money is one's worth in this 21st century. You cannot even compare yourself to me, you trash. I can do anything to you but you, your filthy fingers cannot touch my tip of my shoe. The police won't defy my father, they won't defy me," Dong jabbed at Hakyeon's direction. 

Hakyeon's eyes widened by a fraction but he kept his composure. He deflected the attack and gripped Dong's wrist with a hard squeeze, the knife clattered towards the ground. 

In a matter of seconds, the knife was now in Hakyeon's hands and he twirled it nimbly between his fingers before pointing at a really shaken Dong.

With a look, Hakyeon had Taekwoon to carry Hongbin to the van. Hongbin stared at his hyung, noticing the alien expression on his face. He neared the now trembling Dong and ordered him to kneel. The knife was now hovering over his stout neck. His goons had frozen on the spot, not really comprehending the situation.

"Hakyeon," Taekwoon called out, his voice was calm too but Hongbin could faintly detect a hint of worry. Hakyeon exhaled and immediately threw away the knife into a nearby ditch.

"If you report this, I will just say it is self defence. The cameras could back me up. I do not hurt you as your wrist did not start bruising. Also, what will people think if they find your fingerprints on the knife? Like you said, I am trash but everyone already knows that. You, on the other hand, I think your father could disown or even give you a spanking. I doubt it is any weaker than what Hongbin dealt at you," he calmly stated the facts with only a slight twitch  of his hands before helping Taekwoon carrying Hongbin to the van.

Back home, the four of them were patched up by Hakyeon and Taekwoon. They tried their best and made do with what they had because they could not afford to go to the clinic. Everyone was quiet and they went to sleep early. The last thing Hongbin saw was Hakyeon staring off into space, only now his hands were shaking.

The next morning, Hakyeon was back to his old self and Hongbin felt a strange feeling of relief. That and Taekwoon had pull Hakyeon over to talk about it and it looked like it ended on a good note.

When they got to school, people ignored them but this time it was because one of the students went missing. Rumours about the serial killer abducting him spread like wildfire.

Teachers were whispering amongst themselves when they thought students were not looking. A few days later, more students began to disappear without any explanation. The disappearence made into the headlines, the press relentlessly presurring the police to act.

With a start, Hongbin realised one thing. Dong’s gang had stopped bullying them for some reason and he just discovered why. They were the ones who had disappeared. He sneaked a few glances towards Dong and noticed the small amount of lackeys around him.

A shiver went down his spine. He turned around to see if anyone was staring at him but there was none. He could have sworn he was being watched but later he blamed his imagination. He instinctively gripped his star token and wished nothing bad happened.

On one Saturday night, the six of them were having dinner at the old woman’s apartment. It was really cramped especially with their growing figures but it went unnoticed by everyone.

The old woman were showering Taekwoon with praises for his cooking and everyone laughed at Taekwoon’s really bright red face and ears and the way he tried to hide behind a smiling Hakyeon.

Jaehwan occasionally sang a few random songs with Wonshik and Sanghyuk supporting him as back up singers. The old woman kept shoving grapes into Hongbin’s mouth, nagging so much like Hakyeon, to have more nutrition in his life. He got teased but he could not say no to her. Besides, he liked grapes and he secretly enjoyed the attention.

 Sanghyuk sufffered the most. As the cutest of the bunch, he received a lot of pinches on his cheeks and Hongbin could see he was restraining himself from running out of the room.

Once they cleaned up, they gathered at the living room to watch some old movie being shown by the really small and antique television. Everyone took their places, the old woman on the couch, between Hongbin and Taekwoon while Sanghyuk and Wonshik were on the creaky wooden floor with pillows. Hakyeon dragged a chair and sat behind the couch for two reasons. One, he wanted to give the old woman a massage and two, the movie was a horror one and he wanted to stay away from the television as far as he could.

Hongbin felt a content warmth in his rarely full stomach. They gathered like this once every few months and he cherished it everytime. He felt like a little kid again where the old woman’s house was a solid fortress against the darkness of the world with his family by his side. He remembered the kind man who took him first and made a mind note to visit his grave this weekend. The thought of him caused his hands to fiddle with the star token. Maybe he should bring them with him so at least the man could get some of the love they shared.

When the movie ended, they all cleaned up a bit and helped the old lady to settle down. She refused but one against six was never a good fight to begin with. Sanghyuk sleepily suggested on staying the night but the answer he received was a neck chop. Hakyeon argued that there were no room for everyone in her house and to their own house, they went.

They immediately went to sleep but at 3 a.m., Hongbin heard the faint sound of someone screaming and a door being slammed open. He sat up, his heart racing. Everyone was still fast asleep. Maybe it was some random neighbour. Then, his blood froze when he noticed Hakyeon was missing. He heard more noises from downstairs. He tiptoed his way and gulped when the door to the old lady’s house residence was ajar.

Carefully, he peeked into the room. The window was wide open, letting moonlight to fall down upon a very tall but lanky figure. He looked like a skeleton except his really dark eyes were glinting dangerously like a bird of prey. He was smirking and what terrified him was how similar the smirk was to Hakyeon’s.

On the floor, laid the unconscious old lady with a trembling Hakyeon by her side. The latter was sobbing really hard. He then looked up towards the intruder with intense fury in his eyes.

“How could you??!!!” he screamed angrily that made Hongbin flinch.

“Relax, Hakyeonnie. A few days in bed and she would be okay again. Although I must say this is only a warning shot. You make me wait any longer and I will not hesitate to harm your oh so precious brats upstairs”, the skeleton leaned against the wall, his calm voice was so much like Hakyeon but it was not him too.

“Don’t you get my message? You are in prison because I put you there. I want you out of my life”, Hakyeon spat, contempt had been laced into every word. Hongbin tried his hardest to not gasp because he recognised the man. He glimpsed a picture of him in the newspaper, a picture of an escaped serial killer.

The skeleton smiled again and in a blink of an eye, he had Hakyeon pinned to the wall. To Hakyeon’s credit, he did not even flinched, staring hard at his attacker’s eyes as if he had experienced this before.

“Why didn’t you kill me, then? You had your oppurtunity and you had all the skills I had teach you. You had potential and that is the only reason I keep you alive, unlike your stupid mother,” snarled the convict.

“I don’t want to be like you,” Hakyeon announced with a defiant lift of his chin.

“Too bad. It’s fate, son. The apple do not fall far from the tree”, the skeleton cooed before letting him go.

“Listen, here. You are coming with me and we will be a family again. If you refuse my generous offer, I will take out this old fool and those weak brats who are in my way. Maybe, just maybe if you want a brother so much, I will take that good-looking one with me. Hongbin, right?”

“ Don’t you dare touch them or I swear I will...,” Hakyeon clenched his fists.

“What? Kill me? I will like to see that,” mocked the man. “Anyway, I believe we have a spectator to our little drama.”

Hongbin took time to register the knife that was embedded at the doorframe. Any nearer, his right eye would be gone. Hakyeon gasped, his calm demeanor began to crack while the man just grinned with evil amusement, rubbing his hands with excitement.

“Hi, Hongbin. Nice to meet you. You are a pretty one, aren’t you?” the man lowered himself to Hongbin’s height, his horrible breath ghosted over his nose.

Hongbin closed his eyes and gripped his star token. He cursed himself to be so afraid but terror immobilised his body. Suddenly, the man dropped to the floor, revealing Hakyeon who was holding a frying pan.

“Hongbin, are you okay? Are you okay? Oh, I’m sorrry, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” the elder began to check over him with frantic eyes. Hongbin was numb from all the revelation from the recent events.  He was so numb, he could not warn Hakyeon quickly enough.

Hakyeon was lifted off the floor by the collar as the man, now all growls and snarls, glared at him with those dark, malicious eyes. His right eye was twitching and the knife in his left hand began to rise.

“How dare you? How dare you smack me with that unworthy weapon? You think you can bring me down just like that, you dimwit. I’m so disappointed more than if you just nick me with a knife behind my back.” The serial killer backhanded the boy’s face, the knife swishing dangerously in the tension-filled air.

“I should have known. You are just like the rest of them. The ungrateful ones. I let you live, I teach you how to survive, heck I even kill some of those bullies just so you can see how easy it is just to get rid of someone. You are so like your mother, worrying too much. You hate this person, then go kill him. He won’t bother you anymore. “ The man tightened his grip, his smile was wide and creepy like the Cheshire cat.

“I see you. I know how you feel when you hold the knife at that fat boy’s neck. The one thing that is stopping you is those brats that you want to protect so much. What is the use of protecting the weak when you can only be the strongest?”

Hakyeon whimpered and with an air of satisfaction, the man let him go for the second time. “ Now, now son. Don’t be sad. You don’t need to be sad. The old lady is okay, the others don’t know I am here. You can come with me, like old times and you can stop worrying. That’s what you want right?”

Hakyeon nodded wordlessly.

“But before that, I need to get rid of that pretty boy, okay. He is so good-looking that I can’t help myself thinking how elegantly the blood will be pouring out of his face."

“Father, may I? Please” Hakyeon begged with huge hopeful eyes. The man grinned proudly.

“Oh, impatient, are you? Okay, do it fast.” The man passed his knife to Hakyeon who was now staring at Hongbin in a weird way. Hongbin was frozen on the spot, his legs refused to move even though his brain was screaming at him TO RUN.

Hakyeon stepped forward, twirling the knife in his right hand just like how he had done in front of Dong.

“Hongbinnie, do you trust me? Can you stand still for hyung, please?”

No answer.

“You are a good boy, Hongbin. Just stand still”, Hakyeon raised the knife to Hongbin’s neck, still smiling his signature smile.

In a blink of an eye, Hakyeon kicked Hongbin in the stomach, crashing him into the hallway. Twisting his body, he launched the knife towards his father.The serial killer quickly held up a cushion from the couch, the knife tore into the fabric and not the intended target.

“Bah!! I know it. I know it. You think you can bring me down easily. It takes more than one knife to hit me.”

Hakyeon went down to his knees and expertly threw three more knives, two hits at the each leg and one connected directly at his head. The man jumped back only to fall off the window.

“Maybe three more would do,” the boy said. He walked over and glanced down. Without warning, he jumped and at that time, Hongbin was released from his frozen spell and looked down the window. He was on time to see Hakyeon plunging down another knife directly into his heart.

Hakyeon brought his head up, a relieved smile gracing his face. It vanished when he spotted Hongbin gaping at him and a mask of guilt popped into place.

A few weeks later, Hakyeon left. His excuse was a well-paying job but Hongbin knew better. 

The night before the announcement, he caught him sneaking out of the room. He followed, hoping it would not be like the last time.

His hyung climbed the stairs to the roof, not noticing his shadow was being trailed. Irrational thoughts attacked Hongbin's mind and he squeezed his star token hard. Hakyeon looked back, the soft cold wind blowing softly through his hair. He was smiling, the usual warm and safe smile but his eyes were sad.

"Hey, Hongbinnie. You can't sleep? Me too," he sat down on an old mat, patting the space beside him, inviting him for a talk.

Hongbin gulped nervously. He had done his best to avoid THE TALK because it made that particular night less real. Even when the police rounded up to discover the body, he kept quiet like Hakyeon. He imagined it was only a nightmare but eveytime he saw Hakyeon holding a knife to cut fruits as per the old lady's request, he could remember how smooth three knives sailed through the air into someone's body.

"I'm leaving tomorrow," he simply stated, waiting for his response.

His heart plummeted like a falling meteor from space, with unbreakable velocity and nothing could stop it except the hard ground of truth.

"Why, hyung? Why?" he asked with disbelief. Why would Hakyeon leave? The serial killer was dead, the police only had a new burned and unidentified body discovered at a nearby dumpster located at the abandoned building behind theirs. 

"I want to get a better job and there is none here. I..."

"HYUNG." Hongbin cut him off. " Tell me the truth. If you want to leave, don't leave with lies".

"Even if the truth hurts more?" Hakyeon asked. He only got a stare.

The elder chuckled. "You are really strong, Hongbin. Sometimes, I envy you."

"I have a really strong brother but don't change the subject. Please, I want to at least understand," he pleaded.

Hakyeon sighed and he looked up the sky as if his own strength was waning and he was requesting more from above.

"When you first met me, I am enjoying my freedom after I put that monster in prison. I am happy and ready to go on with my new life. Then, after a few weeks, something felt wrong. I felt restless. I felt I need to do something important. When I picked a knife to cut vegetables for dinner, I finally understood. The apple does not fall far from the tree."

"One night, Taekwoon caught me hovering above him with a knife. He kicked me really hard and luckily it was enough for me to snap out of it. After that, I broke down and told him everything. The funny thing was he never asked for an explanation."

Hakyeon smiled at the memory while Hongbin gazed at him with shock.

"Taekwoon already knows?!" he exclaimed, sounding a bit hurt and mifffed by the revelation. His hyung flinched and asked him to quiet it down.

"I almost stab him, of course he knows. That night, after I told him everything, he only asked one question; a question I will ask myself every day and night. Do I really want to kill any one of you? Everytime, I say no and it helps me to become stronger to not be like HIM. Taekwoon helps all the way which is the reason why he always do the cooking and why he follows me to work."

Suddenly, Hakyeon frowned and clenched his fists.

"When I think about the bullies at your school, I always wonder if I can just make them disappear. To me, it's very easy but I convince myself it would only cause more trouble but when I saw you guys got beaten up with my own eyes, I could not just sit back. It is a risk I must take and I thought if I could just..." Hakyeon shook his head. "I'm glad Taekwoon was there."

"Then you don't need to leave now. Taekwoon is here and I already know too and that means I can help." Hakyeon shook his head again in disagreement.

"He was my first kill and I doubt it will be my last. It is easier before when I never kill but now, I could never forget the feeling as much as I wanted to deny it."

"This means you are leaving and anything I said can't stop you. You are just going leave just like that. Who is going to baby Sanghyuk and always tell him he is special? Who is going to make sure Wonsik hyung eats his meal whenever he is stressed? Who is going to joke with Jaehwan hyung? Who is going to calm Taekwoon down when others are teasing him too much? Who is going to fix me with hugs and assurance whenever I feel like I'm too broken to continue? Who hyung? Who??!!"

Hongbin was expecting tears but he never really expected a hug. Hakyeon embraced him tightly and cried into his ears.

"I'm not cutting you off in my life. I never. All of you are the reason of my happiness. Nothing less than that. Taekwoon would know how to contact me and I will and yes I will try to come back time by time. I just need distance to save you from me for a while."

Hongbin pulled out from the hug, sniffing as he said : "Then the only thing I can say now is good luck." He opened Hakyeon's rough palm and pllaced his star token on it. 

When the next morning witnessed their oldest hyung walked out through the door, it was only a few seconds before Sanghyuk ran after him with tears flowing down his face. He tackled him into a hug and others immediately joined in.

All of them were a heap of crying mess and they pulled away when they heard someone coughing deliberately downstairs. The old lady's wrinkled face creased to make way for a smile as she handed a plastic bag holding a plastic container to Hakyeon.

"Some rice balls for your journey," she succintly explained.

"Thank you," he replied with fresh tears welling up in his eyes.

"No. Thank you," she gently said.

Months later, Hongbin was surprised that life went fairly well. Dong had moved somewhere else. Where, he did not know but the reason why was because his father thought it was not safe fo his son to stay in the town. Without an influential leader, the gang fell apart and the bullying decreased from physical violance to just name-calling and jeers. Hakyeon’s absence was still profund but it was remedied by the monthly letters and holiday visits. However, he could not help himself from checking the newspapers for any news about Hakyeon.

Hongbin’s world finally shattered in an unexpected way. Shortly after he graduated, the old lady died from old age. Some huge company bought the building, kicking them out from the only place they could call home.

Luckily, they had enough in their savings to rent another residence.

Taekwoon was finally old enough to become their guardian and continued to push Sanghyuk to at least graduate from high school. Jaehwan successfully pestered Taekwoon to join him as a singer for hire during weddings or parties while Wonshik was making a name for himself among the street performers. Hongbin managed to get hired at a community centre, doing odd jobs and occasionally gave guitar lessons there.

They worked hard and life was never easier on them but they were coping, picking themselves up when they fell. Although they would always stare at the empty spot at the head of their table, they kept on living, knowing that he would be proud of them if he had the chance to see them.

One wintry evening, Hakyeon stopped by, the first time since they were kicked out. He was just sitting outside the door, his huge black coat seemed to swallow his lanky figure.

“Hi, Hongbinnie,” Hakyeon greeted him with his usual smile but his eyes were sad again.

“Hi, hyung.” His reply was short and careful though he honestly did not knew what to say to him after years of separation.

“I’m glad I finally get to see you,” he said with a strained voice. It was a warning sign before he collapsed to the ground. Hongbin immediately held him up, raising his head to scream for anyone who could be at home now but Hakyeon shushed him.

“No one’s home,” he calmly stated.

“Then, what are you doing here? You should go to the hospital and...," Hongbin’s hands shook, not from the chill of the winter but from paralysing panic.

“Can you believe that I become a hitman? Funny, right? There is this gangster, he wanted all of you off. I wish I could slit his throat like I could have done years ago. Dong still hates you all and me. He thought money and threats could order me to kill you.”

Hakyeon laughed and to Hongbin’s horror, there were squirts of blood coming out of his mouth. Its scarlet colour slowly tainting the pure white snowy pavement.

“I request a toast. He won’t drink until I drink. The alcohol is strong, he wouldn’t taste the poison. Only I know of it. By the time the others do, he would be dead and so do...,”

“Why would you poison yourself or even coming here?” he shouted angrily. He tighten his grip on his hyung, not wanting to let him go. Tear were stinging in his eyes. His brain were screaming at him to get help but the resigned look in the elder’s eyes stopped him.

“My heart is not strong. I’m not my father. Everytime I take a life, it hurts deep down you know even though they deserve it in a way. I decide I rather die saving lives than die a broken heart so I can leave in peace.”

He wanted to call out on his hyung's selfishness and stupidness but he realised this was what Hakyeon wanted after all his sufferings.

"I want to return your star token. It helps me to get back to you in the end. Take it, Beannie.”

A hard cold familiar object was pushed into his palm, similar to that night years ago.

“You are strong. Hongbin. All of you are. I’m proud of all of you.”

When Cha Hakyeon closed his eyes forever, Lee Hongbin shattered.

Until the others came home to help him fix himself.

That’s what family for, right?

A/N : So how is it? Is it too long? If there is anything I can improve, you can PM me or leave a comment. I highly appreciate it.

Love,

smallbear99