I’m lying on the street like a dead. I feel how my insides are bleeding, I can’t move anymore because my whole body is paralyzed from beating, all bones are broken. I just can lie, pressed my back on the wall and looking at the big clock.

Tic… Toc…Tic…Toc…Time is going, but my life is frozen on one place since I was born. People call my “illness” ‘Teen depression’ But soon I’ll hit 18, my teen years least way too long. To be truth I really don’t care what will happen to me, I just know that I’m kicked as , but I won’t pray to god to heal or help me, because it doesn’t matter for me will I live or die. Some people are living and some are just breathing, I can’t do any of them. Why I must be scared that something bad will happen to me, when no one in the world cares about it? It won’t matter for anyone if I’ll die, because no one even know about my living, I’m just empty place for everyone…

So many people just walked in front of me, they didn’t even look at me, but I know that they realized that I’m already half died.

I can’t breath anymore, bleed filled my lungs, so I just closed my eyes to die in peace. I was already to die when I heard…

-Hey! Dude what’s wrong? OMG are you bleeding? What happened?

This guy need to shut up!!

-You can’t talk? Hey my name is Lee Sungyeol, what’s yours?

If I answer maybe he’ll leave me alone? WTF he wants? Just let me die normally.

-Ki…Kim M…Myungsoo…

I barely said it, because there isn’t any oxygen for me, well I always had problems with breathing, so I’m not scared even for a little.

-It’s okay Myungsoo I’ll call 911 right now, just wait! Don’t die in my arms, okay?

  He found good time for jokes…But why is he helping me? Even my parents don’t care about their son, what am I talking? My father’s band made me like this, my own father command them to kill me…I have good parents aren’t I? My mom… I don’t have any, she was a and born me, but died while giving a birth to me, it means I’m a bastard, I don’t know why my ‘father’ wanted to raise me up, yes I’m his son but still he got rid of me after few years. So I’m not impressed at coldblooded people, I’m not a person, I’m not  an animal, I’m nothing… Piece of rubbish, what makes everyone’s life harder…I’m a monster who lives in human’s body.

There isn’t any innocence in this world, monsters live inside all of us, some of them make us to see their faces, but some of them don’t show up till our death…

-Myungsooyah you have a good luck, doctors are already here! They will help you!

I have a luck? Sungyeol…Lee Sungyeol thanks.

Doctors took me to ambulance and healed me. I had broken my ribs, one leg and both of hands…

I’m really thankful to Sungyeolah, it’s the first and the last time when I was thankful to someone, I just want to see him one day, even one hour, no even one second and tell how thankful I am, how he helped me, because if not him I wouldn’t able to tell you my story…

After 10 years…

  I wipe out blood from my knife and stared at this poor couple, which I killed by my hands, but what should I do? Don’t fight with someone, who you can’t beat up. I deeply sighed, the fact that I need to hide another body annoys me very much. I whispered and my helper came and lifted up them, he placed both of bodies on his shoulders, he’s like a real human being giant. I put cigarette in my mouth and decided to take a little calming walk after stress like this. It’s not like I’m serial killer or psychopath who loves to kill others and having pleasure staring at this process, I am just doing my work, if you want to enter my world, you’re the bravest or stupidest person. Well okay I like when they’re praying for forgetting them, because at this moment everyone loves and needs you, but I’m not that bad… Well for most of people I am...

I saw some nerd on the street, so I decided to have a joy.

-Hey you in glasses!

Boy immediately looked at Myungsoo who was smirking like a real psycho. Myungsoo walked to him and made him hit his back on the wall, boy looked so terrified, what made Myungsoo felt very good, only with his dead glare he made boy to scare as hell.

-Woah your clothes are so nice, I guess you’re very rich, so if you don’t want to have any problems give me some money.

Myungsoo whispered it with his sly voice to boy’s ear, it will make everyone’s heart to stop beating for a second or even forever.

-I…I don’t have any really!

Myungsoo smirked and touched boy’s cheeks.

-Listen…What’s your name?

-Lee Sung…

  I swear my heart skipped a beat when he said those two words, it can’t be him right? It’s not Lee Sungyeol! Even after ing 10 years I remember his name, that night I was already near to death so I didn’t have any chance to look at his face, I only know his name. Please don’t be Sungyeol…

-…Jong… My name is Lee Sung Jong…

Myungsoo relieved breath out, but he doesn’t want to stop playing with poor Sungjong yet.

-So little Sungjongie listen to me…If you won’t give me money right now, I’ll kill you how I killed other stupid guys like you!!!

Myungsoo creepily smile to his ears and punch Sungjong on the stomach. Boy slid down on the wall.

-Already done? No I want to play with you for a little longer.

Myungsoo started to beat poor boy with his hands and legs. Sungjong’s whole face was covered with blood and he was praying for help, tears already dried on his beaten face.

-I was kicked to death more times than you, but I wasn’t shouting for help for someone! You’re so pure that I want to throw up right now!!!

-Maybe you wasn’t because you never ever had someone to help you!

Myungsoo directed his face where shouting was coming, but suddenly someone hit him on the face.

-What the… Who the are you? How could you hit me? You little !

Myungsoo answered with a hit too, boy fell down. Myungsoo looked at the place where Sungjong was lying, but he already ran away long time ago.

-This piece of !!!! Yah don’t you dare make a move I’ll kick your so hardly that even your mother won’t recognize you!!!!

Myungsoo hit this guy on the face thousands of time, he wasn’t looking like a human anymore, than Myungsoo lifted up him in the air with his one hand.

-Why are you so quiet baby? You won’t call your mommy for help?

-How can I call a person who I don’t have? Who you want me to call out? Friends? Sorry but I don’t have any! God? If he cared about me I wasn’t in your arms right now! Maybe just scream and wait that someone stupid as me pretends to be a hero and helps me? Or yeah I can call my father who kicked me out from the house!! Sorry I can’t give you that happiness when someone is pleasing you for mercy! I don’t have anybody to call out! I’m a loner, so do what you want to, I don’t giving a !

-Oh please don’t pretend that you’ve fallen from sky angel! So if I cut your throat you won’t be angry at me?

This sarcastic smirk covered Myungsoo’s face again.

-Yeah I don’t care about my life! Whether I live or die, is no big deal. Scared of death is person who has something to loose after it’s die, but I don’t have anything or anyone to loose, so I’m not scared of death! I’m not scared how painful will be my death! I’m not scared of weak person like you!!! Who pretends that he’s the strongest and proves it with beating weaker than himself! Your innocence makes me feel really sorry for you! So yeah if you want to be painted with my blood, then okay cut my whole throat if you want to, because there isn’t any reason for me to live!

Myungsoo’s eyes widened, he haven't seen person like him before, others are crying for help, but he… He humiliated him with only talking. His words were so similar to his life. Did he read my mind? Really dafaq?!

-Wh…Who the hell are you?!

I hardly mumbled, because I haven’t ever been in big shock like this before, in spite of how many terrifying things I have seen, this one really made me to off.

-Me? I’m Lee Sungyeol!!

And then whole world frozen and time stopped for me…