Jessica sent her friends home with smile pestering on her face. Tiffany and Yuri promised to come and visit her again, as long as Nichkhun allowed them to do so. Jessica sat in front of Nichkhun who still with his job.

“oppa, thanks for today,” Jessica said. Nichkhun smiled at her.

“you’re really different today oppa,” she continued. Nichkhun finished his work and went to the kitchen. He came to Jessica with 2 mugs of hot chocolate. Jessica accepted it when Nichkhun gave one of them to her.

“different?” Nichkhun asked.

“yeah. Different. I wonder if you’re this kind of person before I met you. I mean, when I met you, you’re such an icy cold type.” Nichkhun laughed and shrugged. He didn’t want to comment on Jessica’s opinion about him.

“you still owe me a birthday wish, you know. Don’t tell me you already gave me one,” Jessica told him.

“well I did,” Nichkhun replied.

“OK oppa, it’s up to you. Are you going to sleep now?” Jessica asked as she saw Nichkhun already stood up and washed his hand. Nichkhun nodded his head.

“I’m so tired Jessica,” Nichkhun said. “and I have something to give to you,” Nichkhun said before disappearing into the ‘forbidden room’. Few minutes after that, he came out with a frame in his hand.

“for you. Happy birthday Jessica,” he said as he halted in front of Jessica. Jessica widened her eyes as she heard him. Her hand reached the frame.

“omo oppa, it’s so beautiful. Do you paint it yourself?” Jessica asked as her eyes met the painting of her on the canvas. She, riding a bicycle. Nichkhun nodded his head. “waa, gumawo oppa. you really has the talent oppa,” Jessica continued.

“it’s the picture when we first met. You remember? The day when we have to do a CF together?” said Nichkhun. Jessica nodded while studying the painting.

“you still remember that oppa?”

“of course I do. Well, good night sica. let’s call it a day,” Nichkhun said. Jessica wrapped her hand on Nichkhun wrist. Nichkhun turned to face her.

“oppa, it’s stil early. Why don’t we stay outside for a while?”

“it’s already 11.45pm Jessica. And, it’s cold outside. It’s not good for you.”

“I’m good oppa. consider that as my birthday wish. It’s not like I spent every night sleeping late,”

“OK. Let’s go”

************************************************

Nichkhun wrapped the blanket around his and Jessica’s shoulder. He placed his hand on Jessica shoulder, to share his warm with Jessica. Jessica smiled at him and handed him his hot chocolate.

“thank you,” said Nichkhun.

“you’re almost welcome,” Jessica replied.

Both of them kept in silence. Jessica looked at Nichkhun and released a light laugh.

“why do you laugh?” Nichkhun asked.

“nothing”

“nah. Tell me why do you laugh?”

“it just…. Nothing. Really.”

“do you like this?”

“pardon?” Jessica faced Nichkhun as she heard him asking.

“do you like doing this. I mean, staring at the sky, counting on the stars and enjoy the silence?” Nichkhun looked into her eyes.

“guess what? Actually this is my forever wish. I always wish that I want to spend my birthday with someone like this. Doing nothing, just staring at the sky and enjoy the moment,” Jessica said. Nichkhun smiled.

“and you didn’t do it with Taec?” asked Nichkhun.

“nope. We celebrated my birthday at parties and we never had extra time to do this.” Jessica laughed awkwardly.

Nichkhun smiled at the empty space. He didn’t make any comment. “we always did this,” he said after a long pause.

“we?”

“me and Vic. We spent almost of our holiday here. Painting, watching movies and doing other  nonsense stuff. When we have time, we’ll spend our time doing nothing like this.”

“owh” jessica said and yawn. Nichkhun laughed at her.

“sleepy? You’re the one who wanted to spend you birthday like this,” Nichkhun said.

“I’m sorry but hey, just continue. I can take it you know,” Jessica replied. Nichkhun shrugged.

“I kind of miss this you know. someone beside me, cuddling, sharing the warm… it’s nostalgic,” Nichkhun said. But, he didn’t hear any reply from Jessica. When he looked at Jessica, she already dozed into her sleep. Nichkhun smiled. He repositioned Jessica’s head, placing it against his chest. His right hand reached the mug in Jessica’s hand. His other hand played with her curly hair.

“you’re cute you know,” he whispered even though he positive that she won’t hear what he’s bubbling about.

Nichkhun’s hand caressed Jessica’s flawless face. Nichkhun’s eyes glued at her face. His eyes moved from her eyes, to her perfectly build nose and finally reached her lips. Nichkhun gulped his saliva. He silently cleared his throat.

‘what am I thinking?’

Nichkhun tried to think of something else but he failed. He turned to face Jessica again. His heart started to work extraordinarily. He bet if Jessica didn’t sleep, she can sense that. When Jessica moved her head, Nichkhun can clearly see that her lips were slightly opened. He didn’t know why but his body seemed to work alone tonight. His face slowly moved closer to Jessica’s. By the time his lips were on hers, Jessica opened her eyes.

“oop.. oppa” Jessica said as soon as their lips separated. Her hand reached her lips. She can still feel  Nichkhun warm breath on her face.

“I’m sorry. I was carried away,” Nichkhun apologized.

Jessica didn’t say anything.

“why did you do that oppa?” she finally asked.

“you angry?”

“that’s not consider as an answer for my question oppa,” Jessica replied.

“so you’re angry,” Nichkhun still didn’t answer her question. “look, I’m sorry. The kiss, it just a mistake OK. I was just too carried away,” Nichkhun tried to explain.

“oppa, actually, I don’t mind about it. About you kissing me, I don’t mind at all,” Jessica said.

“what do you mean?”

“actually I… oppa, I might startle you… I don’t know why but I think I… I think I’m falling in love with you…” Jessica said. She didn’t dare to look at Nichkhun. She’s afraid to look at Nichkhun’s response.

“you what?” Nichkhun asked.

“I love you oppa. I know it’s crazy but yeah, I love you. I don’t know when does it starts and I’m sorry”

Nichkhun didn’t know how to response to Jessica’s confession. Honestly, he wanted to hug her after hearing that. He felt happy because all these time, Jessica felt exactly like how he felt. But, at the same time, he’s afraid. He remembered what Taecyeon told him the other day. Taecyeon won’t leave him and Jessica alone. He couldn’t dare to imagine what Taecyeon will do if he find him and Jessica are dating.

Nichkhun stood up and he looked at Jessica. “I’m sorry sica,” he said. Jessica looked at his face.

“I’m sorry that I can’t accept your feeling. I think you misunderstood me. All these time, you’re just a sister for me. Nothing more and nothing less,” he continued.

‘sorry sica, I need to protect you’

“what? I thought you like me too. I mean, you protect me, take care of me, and you’ve changed because of me. Everyone around us said the same thing that you like me,” Jessica said.

“I treat you like my sister sica”

“and what about the kisses? Why did you kiss me?”

“I just… sica, you bring me back into my old memories. Me and you sitting here reminded me of my memories with vic. This thing was our thing. We used to enjoy the silence between us.”

“and when you kiss me, you see her in me? That’s hurt oppa” Jessica felt like crying.

“I’m sorry,” Nichkhun couldn’t say other that sorry.

“I can tolerate anything oppa but that… you just humiliated me. Maybe to you, that kiss was a mistake, but it means a world for me oppa. just don’t say sorry for that. I’m sorry for bringing back the little memory of yours. I didn’t mean that. And I’m sorry for falling in love with you. I should know who am I” Jessica said before standing up.  She wanted to be in her room as soon as possible. She wanted to cry. She needed to cry.

When she was about to enter the house, Nichkhun called her. She stopped but she didn’t turn to face Nichkhun. “I’m sorry Jessica. I didn’t know that you felt this way”

“I can deal with my own feeling oppa. maybe it just temporary. I’m just a person who don’t realize who am I. maybe I was just too dreamy. I thought that I can be someone in your life. I guess I can’t just change the fate. I forget to remind myself that sooner or later we’ll be in our own way,” she said. 

Jessica stopped before continued. “Today was a blast. I never have this wonderful birthday oppa. Thanks to you. Good night” Jessica walked into the house. Nichkhun sat at the same spot where he sat before.

‘I’m sorry sica. I’m sorry. I love you too. I want you to be by my side. But if I accept your feeling, I’m afraid that I won’t see you forever. I can’t risk of losing you sica.’ Nichkhun whispered. After long time, his tears fell, running down his cheeks.