ONE

Ten years. It’s been ten years since we’ve known each other. We practically grew up together. Our moms are close friends which made us best friends as we WERE. He’s the cold type but we strangely got along very well. I learned to read him through the years of our friendship. But that friendship got a crack because of me. I developed some strange feelings for my so-called childhood best friend. I admit that ever since the first time I met him, I already had a crush on him…what? Hey, don’t judge me. Kids as young as four already have crushes nowadays! It’s also been ten years since I’ve had a crush on him; is it still called ‘crush’ or is it more than that? I don’t know. I have no idea about that stuff. All I know is that crush, like, and love are three different things.

Who would not like him? I mean, he got everything a girl could ask for: brains, looks, height, talents, etc. I know most of you would argue that he doesn’t have everything because of his cold attitude. Well, he’s not really a cold person once you get to know him. He’s really a warm, kind-hearted person, I swear. Probably because I’ve been with him for several years that I already got used to him, but our classmates say he does treat me ‘differently’ from other girls. I thought, of course, he would treat me differently because we’re best friends, right?

When I started to feel those strange feelings, I kept my mouth shut; I know it could be a hindrance between the two of us. He got his first girlfriend when we were on our last year of elementary school. He was pretty excited at that time; he didn’t know what to do so he kept asking me. Because I’m a girl, he said. He knows I’m not the girly girl type but I’m still a girl so I should know better; he would ask me which should he buy her, what surprises would make her happy, and the like. I admit that I was…jealous, but I didn’t care, as long as I had him as my best friend. After a few months, they broke up. It turned out that the girl was actually not interested on him; she was just after fame (my best friend is a heartthrob/kingka in our school, so he’s very famous with everyone).

 His ‘cold’ attitude towards girls changed after that; he became the well-known playboy kingka. He would have a new girl after every breakup; the relationships would only last for a month or two. At first, I tried to talk it out to him so he would wake up to his senses, but when it didn’t help, I just let him be. Thankfully, he didn’t change his attitude towards me…not until my dreaded day came. He found out about what I felt towards him. How? I told it to my girl best friend, Seulgi; she accidentally spilled the beans. She was begging for forgiveness, but I stopped her and told her that she’s not at fault. No matter how much I deny it, the crack in our friendship was made. We didn’t even talk about it; we suddenly just stopped talking and became awkward with each other.

We entered high school at that state; we would only talk if needed, like in class or group activities. I would be lying if I say that I don’t care anymore; I honestly miss him. Nevertheless, Seulgi’s always been there for me (she still feels guilty no matter how many times I lecture her). We also met some new girlfriends: Irene, Wendy, Joy, and Yeri. I’m very glad that I have them through my high school days.

In our first year, even though we’re awkward, he would still be there and help me when I was troubled. Like when we were cleani