Yoseob entered Hyunseung's place with Jaesoon, his mind in a mess, his heart out of place.

He didn't even care if Hyunseung's eyes were popping to see Jaesoon entering the front door with him. He didn't even comprehend Hyunseung's "that ain't Junhyung right?" question.   The moment the door closed, he stood still on the ground, boring holes into the carpet with his eyes.   "What happened?", Hyunseung stopped his tirade of questions regarding Jaesoon when he noticed the evidently disoriented smaller male. At the corner of his eyes, he saw Jaesoon seething with anger, seemingly punching the walls mentally.    Yoseob took a few steps forward and when he finally looked into Hyunseung's eyes, the older man felt his heart tightened when he saw the watery eyes and the trembling lips of  the lawyer.   "What happened?" He repeated his question, this time, his tone was much gentler and more careful. He feared that any louder, any harsher, the man in front of him might just break.   "I saw him, I saw Junhyung", Yoseob whispered and that was all it took for Hyunseung to march to the younger man and hugged him to provide him with some comfort that he desperately needs.   "It must be hard on you," Hyunseung cooed gently.   He felt the younger man shake his head and he looked down only to see the heartbreaking pair of watery eyes now flowing like an open dam, "not just me, it is hard on him too."   Hyunseung was at a complete loss of what to say. Usually, he would make one or two snide but harmless remarks about Junhyung when Yoseob was upset with him or when Yoseob was having a jealous fit.  But now, he knew that it wasn't the time to joke about such matters and yet, he struggled to find the right words to comfort this man.    "Hyunseung ah, you know... The past month or so when I couldn't see him, I just worked. I worked and worked and worked to ignore the longing and the pain that comes with it.   Every time I eat, I eat fast. I didn't want to think of the times where I had him to pick out the food I dislike.   Every time I walk along the streets, I start running.  I didn't want to think of the long strolls we would take, my hand in his or his arms around me.    Every time I lie on my bed, I hug myself, trying to convince myself that his warmth was surrounding me.   Hyunseung ah, it's just so hard.   Just now when he hugged me, I wanted to scream at him to never let me go. To hold on tight, to keep me in his arms.   When I heard his voice, my heart hurts so much because I hear the sadness from his own heart.   When I looked into his eyes, all I see is hurt, worry and pain. The warm, happy eyes that I loved weren't there and it's all my fault. I left him. I left him even after all my promises to him.   When his lips touched mine, I felt the desperation, the longing and the love. I was selfish. I didn't want it to end. I want him to kiss me senseless and to tell me that everything was going to be okay.   That he's here to pick me up. That he's found me and that I can return to him. That he's found a way against the Goos.   Hyunseung ah, I almost ran right back to him after managing to stay away for a month or so.   I almost cause him to be at risk or to be in danger again.   I'm so selfish. I'm so stupid.   How could I? How could I?!!"   Yoseob yelled, the tears flowing freely from his eyes as he grasped the back of Hyunseung's shirt, frustrated by himself and hurting so badly in his heart.   Hyunseung patted him lightly on the back and his hair in a loving brotherly manner.    "You're not selfish, Yoseob ah.  Junhyung is very very lucky to have you being so in love with him and for being so caring towards him.    Don't worry too much alright?  I'm sure that one day, what you want would come true. One day, you will walk into my door with that bright smile you used to have and you will say "Hyunseung ah! Guess what? Junhyung and I are happily together again!" "   Yoseob sobbed hard, "I miss him so much. I really do. I'm losing all resolution to leave him and to stay away from him already."   Hyunseung watched as Jaesoon stood by the side with a murderous look, and he raised an eyebrow when he realized the possible reason why Jaesoon would be so upset and shook his head in disbelief that this whole situation was getting way too out of hand.   He patted Yoseob's back for a good 15 minutes before he finally calmed down and Hyunseung know that the strong Yoseob was back. He just needed to break down that once but he would come back up, more determined than ever. However, Hyunseung didn't want Yoseob to be determined about leaving Junhyung, he wanted to convince Yoseob that the Goos were not undefeatable.    "Yoseob, you know what? I'm telling you straight up that it's impossible that you and Junhyung could ever be separated." He spoke but his eyes were on Jaesoon. He didn't want that man to harbor any false hopes and cause more problems for Yoseob. "So whatever you've been doing in your room for the past weeks or so, you're doing it so that you can get back together with Junhyung, without the threat of the Goos."   "They are not people we can trifle with. Even Junhyung can't do much because of their underground dealings. The night when Chan tried to... To do stuff to me, Junhyung could punch him and stuff but he knew that he couldn't send that man to the cops because that man had the backing of the Goos. But you see, they got Chan killed so easily as if he was useless once he had lost his purpose."   Hyunseung held on to Yoseob's shoulders, his eyes narrowing, snarling while the rage in him build up, "Chan tried to do what... Stuff?"   Yoseob averted eye contact and fiddled with his fingers nervously. Jaesoon was also now looking Yoseob, waiting for the lawyer's reply.   "He tried to.. take me."   "What did he manage to do?"   "He tore off my shirt and.. Touched my chest. Look.. I really don't want to talk about it. Junhyung managed to save me before anything could happened and he even ---"   A loud slam on the wall brought their eyes to the Jaesoon whose fist was now in a newly created hole on the wall.    "Yes, great. Thanks for leaving your bloodstains around in my living hall", Hyunseung rolled his eyes as he turned his attention back to Yoseob. "Why didn't you tell me?"   "It's nothing to be proud about. Besides... That night, Junhyung took very good care of me."   Hyunseung nodded his head and ruffled the lawyer's hair, "what's next then?"   "Help Jaesoon find his real identity and then leave."   "But---"   "I can't have a dying Junhyung in my hands again, Hyunseung ah. Please understand."   "Stop being a coward, stop running from the Goos. Stand up to them!"   "I'll talk to you another day again..." Yoseob mumbled as he started walking to his room, tired from the day's events and wanting a good sleep, hoping that when he woke up, this was all just a bad nightmare and that he would wake up in Junhyung's arms, back to the days before the car accident.    As he entered the room, he felt a grip around his wrist and he saw a bleeding hand holding it. Frowning he released the hand gently and went to get the first aid kit, "let's clean that up."   As he dabbed the antiseptic cream on it, he could feel the intense stare he was receiving even when he wasn't looking. When he was done, he cleaned up and kept the kit, headed to his bed, turned his back and muttered, "I'm sleeping early today."   When he heard nothing, he figured that Jaesoon had either went to his bed or was just playing the games on his phone again. Slowly, he closed his eyes, trying to will himself to sleep.

Just a few seconds while his mind was still whirling and swirling, he felt the bed dipping at his sides and he turned over, lying on his back, and opened his eyes only to meet the dark pools of Jaesoon's.

"What are you doing?" 

"Let me in", Jaesoon whispered huskily.

"What?"

"I want you to look at me the way you did just now when you looked at that man. 
I want you to hug me with so much longing and wanting the way you did just now when you hugged that man.
I want you to kiss me the way you did just now when you kissed that man.
I want you to love me the way you do to that man."

Yoseob blinked a few times, trying to comprehend the words and when he did, he shook his head while he continued looking into Jaesoon's eyes, "It's not possible."

"It is if you try. You are going to leave him anyway, so why not use me to forget him?
I don't mind if you used me. Just try, please."

"No, nobody can ever replace him. Junhyu--"

Yoseob's words were cut off as Jaesoon pressed his lips against his own.
He placed his palms against Jaesoon's chest, trying his best to push him away but he had no strength against the stronger man who was pushing him deeper into his bed. 

His eyes widened as he felt Jaesoon's hand travelling under his shirt and slowly caressing his abs.
"No, don--"

"Shhhh, just try. Please." Jaesoon whispered, the desperation in the plea as clear as a bell.

Yoseob found himself closing his eyes and as he parted his lips, allowing Jaesoon to taste and savour the inside of his mouth, tears fell from his eyes.
The kiss was good, but it was purely physical, nothing more. 
A sob escaped from his throat and Jaesoon pulled himself away slightly.

"I'm sorry," Yoseob choked as he stared into the dark orbs, "I'm sorry but I just---"

"It's alright", Jaesoon murmured as he lifted himself away from Yoseob's bed and collapsed on his own, lying on his side, back facing Yoseob. "You should sleep, I'm sorry. Good night."

Yoseob whispered a soft good night at the lonely back before turning to face the other way, tears falling from his eyes as he willed himself to sleep. 

Jaesoon, who had a palm against his cheek as he closed his eyes to sleep, felt something wet trailing down his hand and he realised, that for the first time ever since he was a child, he was crying.

------

"Hyung, you've got to stop waiting here. They are not coming back."

"They will. I just need to see him one more time." Junhyung muttered, as he took the cup of coffee from the table and gulped it down.
It had been three days since they had met Yoseob in the cafe and Junhyung was returning to it from the moment it opens till it closes. 
Dongwoon had been tasked in bringing all the