"I am not ready for this situation. I am not ready for Gerald to bring up this topic again" I thought. When I turned my back on him, I went back to my seat and fixed my things. I was planning to head home already. When suddenly, Gerald hugged me from behind. He placed his head on my shoulder and I felt that there were tears falling from his face. I tried to remove his arms from me but he wouldn't let go.

"Gerald, stop! May mga tao sa restaurant! Baka maheadline pa tayo. Please!"

"I don't want to let go, Kim. I can't let go. Even after all these years, you know na ikaw lang ang mahal ko. I'm sorry na hindi ko magagawa yung pinangako ko sayo. It's still you, Kim. I was so stupid before." He said while crying. I tried to remove his arms again with all my strength but still, he didn't move. My heart went out to him at that moment but I stayed firm. Now is not the right time.

"Ge. Please let me go. Para kang bata diyan." I snapped at him but I could feel my eyes getting watery again.

"Okay. But listen to what I have to said first and then I would let you go. Okay?" "Okay." He placed his mouth near to my ears and whispered, "I know na ang gulo ng naging relationship natin before because of all the issues and our work. I know, too na sobra tayong nagkasakitan sa mga nangyari. You even made me promise na kalimutan na kita para mawala na yung sakit na nararamdaman natin but I really can't, Kim. Hanggang ngayon, ikaw lang ang mahal ko. I was the biggest jerk to hurt you before but everything became clear after five years. I wouldn't love...no...I can't love any woman besides you, Kim and I would do everything now to have you back. Hindi ako titigil. I don't know if mahal mo pa ba ako but I can still see a chance at kahit napakaliit lang ng chance na yun, I will never let go of it. But for now, alam kong nasasaktan na naman kita so I'm letting you go only for this time." He then removed his arms from me and went straight to the door. 

I can still feel his breath on my ears. His words went straight to my heart. Even after all the years that had passed, my heart only beats like this because of him. He was the only one who could make me feel this way. I was hurt but still loved him anyways. I regained myself and gathered my things. Just as when I'm about to leave, I saw Xian entering the restaurant. He immediately saw me so he ran to where I was.

"Kim, were you crying?" Xian asked worriedly.

"No. I'm okay. By the way, did you see Alex and Angeline?"

"No. I just came here. Someone said that you are here so I went here. I wanted tosee you." Xian said and smiled.

"Now's not a good time, Xi."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"No. Okay lang." I said quietly. Xian stepped forward ang hugged me. I hugged him back and tried to control the tears that were about to fall again. I can still hear Gerald's words in my head and it still hurts so much.

"Mukhang hindi e." I heard someone walking but I didn't dare to look at him or her because it could be paparazzi or what.

"Ohhh...Uhhhh...I think I forgot my phone here in the table. Excuse me." That voice...that voice belongs to Gerald! I quickly let go from Xian's arms and straightened myself. I didn't understand what I was feeling. I felt like a little child who was caught red handed.

"Oh. Hello, Ge." Xian said and offered his hand to Gerald. Gerald shook Xian's hand and then searched for his phone.

"Hi, Xian. Excuse but I really have to go na. I'm just here to search for my phone pero mukhang hindi ko dito naiwan. See you some other time." Gerald said monotonously. He looked at me momentarily and I could see that there was something in his eyes. I know that it was deeper than hurt.

"Bye, Kim." I did not dare to speak because I was so afraid to the things I could say so I just watched him walked out of the restaurant.

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"Bro, bakit ganun? Kakatapos lang namin mag-usap pero kayakap niya na agad yung gagong yun." I said then took a long swig of my fourth beer. When I walked out of the restaurant, I went straight to Rayver's condo. Apparently, when they left us in the restaurant, they all went straight to their homes because they wanted me to bring Kim home. Unfortunately, someone else would be doing that. But before that, I came back to the restaurant because I was worried about Kimmy going home alone. So I thought of driving her home for her safety. When I came back, I was so surprised to see Xian there. He was hugging her and Kim was even hugging him back! I felt so lost and dejected. It was like my world crashed a billion times. I could feel my heart ached with jealousy. Since I was already near to the both of them, I made up an excuse to justify my presence there. When I was about to leave, I looked at Kim's eyes to search for even just a hint to what she was feeling at the moment. But I only saw blankness in her eyes. I walked away as fast as I could, afraid that they would see the tears I was holding back from the moment I saw them.

"I don't know what to say, Ge, but have faith. Baka nagkataon lang yun." Rayver consoled me.

"Mukhang hindi. Nagyakapan pa nga e!"

"Ge, give her time muna. Mukhang mali ang calculation naming mga boys na handa na si Kim. Sorry."

"Don't be bro. Nagpapasalamat talaga ko na naging kaibigan ko kaya. Sobrang thank you kahit ganito yung nangyayari." I said to Rayver.

"Ang stupid mo din kasi Gerald eh! Ang tagal tagal mong nawala tapos ano? Akala mo babalik na lang agad sayo si Kim? Eh gago ka pala eh!" I thought.

My mind then went back to our fight because of that bastard. It was the fight that ended everything...

"Go ahead, Kim! Show to the whole world the love you have for that bastard!" I shouted at her. I can feel all the anger rise up. My heart is so broken right now and I didn't dare to stop. I trusted her! How could she do this to me?!

"Ge, it's not what you think! It was only an accident. I didn't notice that Xian was about to kiss me on my cheeks!" I was fuming mad because I saw videos wherein Kim kissed Xian on the lips. The videos were from fans who attended the christmas party organized by KXs.

"Is that so? Kinikilig ka pa nga eh! I saw you smiled. It was the smile you always give to me before. Also, why would you say that he's the closest guy to your heart?" "Ge, it's for the fans and you know that!" "Then why with me before, Kim?! How can you deny me so hard while you... you show to the whole world how much you love and care for him?! This is not the first time these things happened! I couldn't count the times anymore! I tried so hard to understand, Kim but what makes him different? Siya na ba mahal mo? Ha?!" I started to cry. I didn't know what believe in anymore.

"Gerald..."

"You know what, Kim. I think we should take a break from each other muna. Maybe to rethink the feelings we have for each other." I said silently to Kim.

"Okay..."

"Okay? Just okay, Kim?! Why are you doing this? Don't you really love me anymore? I have to go now before I will do something that I will regret later on." I thought.

I was about to walk out of the room when I heard Kim spoke,

"But remember that I love you, Ge and I didn't mean to hurt you." She went to me and hugged me tight and I hugged her back. I hugged her as if this would be the last time because I didn't know how to fix my heart anymore. My heart was broken into very small pieces at the moment.

"Alam mo, Ray, ako na yung pinakatanga sa buong mundo to let go of something that is very precious. Ang tanga, tanga ko." I mumbled.

"Kung 'di lang napuno ng galit yung puso ko nun, kami pa rin sana." I added.

"Ge, it's not your fault to feel the pain of the situation. It's just the way it is. Diba everything happens for a reason?"

"I don't know if I should still continue this. Mas masakit pala lalo pag sa personal mong nakita yung mahal mo na nagmamahal ng iba." I went to the fridge and searched for a bottle of beer again.

"Bro, hinay hinay lang. Nakakarami ka na."

"No, I'm good besides, kailangan ko nito para kahit papaano, mabawasan yung sakit. Sabog na sabog na kasi eh." Luckily, I found a bottle again and opened it. I went back to the couch and sat.

"You know, I think what's best is to be civil muna with Kim. Try that first, dude. Besides, I talked to Ate Nhila awhile ago and she said that the management is planning to give you both a project. Youneed to settle for being civil muna."

"I don't know if I can really do that. I'll talk to Ate Nhila tomorrow." I replied to Rayver. The thought of being close to Kim again but not having her pains me. The feeling is worse than being far away from her.

"Sige. Matulog ka na rin dun sa spare room, lasing ka na kaya wag ka na munang umuwi. I know you can handle yourself, Ge. We have an early call time pa naman tomorrow." Rayver said.

"Okay. Thank you talaga, Ray."

"Wala yun. Sige." Rayver smiled then went to his room upstairs.

"I don't know how to face Kim anymore tomorrow in ASAP. Hindi ko ata kakayanin na makita silang dalawa ulet. Ang sakit sakit. But be professional, Ge. Kayanin mo." I stood up and cleaned the mess I made in Rayver's living room. After turning off the lights, I went straight to the spare room.