Donghae checked his phone, tapping the side of the frame while biting the inside of his cheek thoughtfully then put it back in his pocket again. It has already been two days and he couldn’t get a hold of Dara. He hadn’t heard anything from her since the night after his mother’s birthday. When he went there the next day to pick her up, no one was home. He tried to call but he reached her voicemail. He shrugged it off thinking maybe she went to the office early and she would probably bother him if she gets hungry. It was past noon when he tried to call her again but it just went to her voicemail. He sent her a text message asking if she was hungry but he didn’t receive any response. That was odd. Dara not taking the opportunity to take advantage of his offer. He forgot his puzzlement when he found his mom inside his office waiting for him after he bought something to eat from the building’s cafeteria. Her mother was contrite for not telling him that his father is back in the city for almost a month now and they had already been talking.

“I’m sorry for not telling you, Donghae,” his mother said tearfully. “I didn’t know how… and…I just want us whole again but…”

“Mom,”  Donghae said putting his arms around her to comfort her. “It’s okay.” He rubbed her back while his mother sobbed on his chest. “I’m not mad at you, okay. I just had a shock. I’m sorry for ruining your birthday. I just didn’t want to stay.”

Donghae’s mother wiped a tear from her eye as she looked up at her son. “Can’t you just talk to your dad? For me? I know his reasons are inexcusable but if you would just listen…”

Donghae let go of her mom and went to his desk shaking his head. “Mom, stop using emotional blackmail. I’m cool with you guys back in each other’s arms again but don’t expect me to be in the equation. Yes, he’s my dad but he left us. He left you. He left me. I don’t think I want to hear anything he’s got to say after 20 years. You may have bought his lies but I won’t.”

“Donghae…”

“I’m not a kid anymore mom,” Donghae said picking up all the papers he needed to review and put them in his folder and closing it. “I can live without a dad. I already did for the last 20 years.” He walked over to his mom and kissed her on top of her head. “Love you mom, See you later.”

“Donghae,” his mom implored but Donghae just smiled at her before walking out of the office leaving her mom.

His dad attempted to talk to him that night when he saw him waiting for him outside of the building. He just stared at his dad who’s looking at him with a silent plea but he just shook his head and walked off. After all these years, he could still feel the disappointment, the hurt, the anger that he felt ever since he was nine when realized his father is not coming back. His grandfather took them in when he left and he used to walk back to their empty house after school still believing that he will be there and would let them know what happened to him. He didn’t know how long he had been going back to their house before he realized he was just waiting for nothing. His grandfather was right. His father already left them for whatever reasons he had. Maybe a new woman. A new, wealthier, younger woman whom he can live his life off to. He felt hurt that his father would do that. Then disappointment. Then anger. He was already 12 when he thought that they were better off without his father.

And they were. He thought his mother thought that too but he guessed he was wrong. But he could never hold it against his mom. He love his mom so much that he wouldn’t even go against her if she decided to get back with his dad. No matter how much he doesn’t want that happen.

He went to the beach Dara had brought him the night of his mom’s birthday and tried to calm himself down. He picked up his phone and called her again but it was still on voicemail. He sent her another text message before driving to her apartment. He found it dark with no signs of life. He even peered on one of the windows just to see if somehow Dara is just there not turning on the lights but he found nothing but rows of unruffled curtains blocking his sight. Did something happened to Dara?

Shaking off the sudden worry springing up inside him, he went to his car and drove off thinking he could go back again tomorrow. She’s probably just out with her friends or something. He even considered calling Jaejoong just to see if he knew where she is before he remembered he already left and flown back to HongKong. He had decided to call Siwon.

“Do you honestly think I would know every employee in my company if they’re working for the day or calling in sick?” Siwon said exasperatedly.

“Uh… yeah?”

Siwon sighed as he explained the intricacies of being the head boss of a major corporation. “They report to their team leaders, their team leaders report to their supervisors, their supervisors report to their  managers, their managers  report to the senior managers, senior managers report to the department director, the department director—“

“Can’t you just call them directly and ask?” Donghae interrupted Siwon’s tedious recital of management ladder. “I haven’t heard anything from her and… I’m…” He doesn’t want to say he’s worried. “I just want to know where she is.”

Siwon sighed again. “Okay, I’ll call them in the morning.”

“Why not now?”

“It’s 10 in the evening. They’re gone for the day. Resting. Are you even a boss in your company?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just let me know.”

Now sitting on his desk, he waited for Siwon’s response after he reminded him to called Dara manager. He picked up his phone and tried Dara’s number again just to make sure. It did rang and he bunched up his fist in silent elation thinking he would reprimand her for not even answering his text messages or even calls but it just kept on ringing. It rang and rang until he heard the automated prompter. He pressed the end button and stood up frowning. Okay, that’s it. He’s driving over to CSW.

He went to his car and drove off the lot, brows furrowed in worry. Why is she incommunicado? What happened? Did something happened to her? His phone rang and he immediately picked it up. It was Siwon.

“She’s got a family emergency,” Siwon reported.

“What kind of family emergency?”

Siwon was silent on the other end then scoffed. “You really wanted me to probe on what kind of a family emergency it is? C’mon.”

“Alright, fine. I’ll see you later. Thanks man.” But Donghae still drove to CSW. If Siwon is not going to probe, then he will.

He went to the writer’s floor and went directly to Kraz’s office.

“Ah Mr. Donghae.”  Kraz smiled in greeting as he stood up.

“Where’s Dara?”  Donghae said not bothering to greet back.

“Dara? Uh… she’s not here.”

“Family emergency right?” Donghae said. “Did she mention when she will be back?”

Mr.Kraz shook his head and Donghae just thanked him grudgingly before walking out. He knew he won’t get anything from him. He was already walking on the corridor when a familiar form passed by him and he did a 180 before calling her.

“Suzy!”

Suzy turned around and greeted him. “Oh, hi.”

“Did you know what happened to Dara?” Donghae asked.

Suzy bit her lip hesitating before finally deciding to tell him. “Her mother was rushed to the hospital. One of her kidneys already failed and needed operation immediately.” Then she added, “She’s stopped texting me back yesterday after she told me she needed to go and get some loan or something. I haven’t heard anything from her since then…”

Donghae just looked at Suzy’s worried expression. “Which hospital is it?”

Dara leaned her head on the glass window of the bus and closed her eyes for a minute. She had been awake for more than 48 hours now and she felt like her only time of rest is the bus trip she’s taking to go to her relatives to borrow money for her mom’s operation. When SangHyun called her that night, she immediately went straight to the bus, still wearing the dress she had borrowed from Suzy. She didn’t care if the people are looking at her in a strange way and just she called SangHyun to know if their mom is okay. According to SangHyun, their mother had been complaining of a pain on the side of her stomach for a couple of days now and earlier, SangHyun saw their mother passed out in the kitchen, pale but still breathing. He’s still waiting on news from the doctor on what happened. She reached the hospital and saw the doctor talking to SangHyun. One of her kidneys already failed and needed to be removed immediately. When she asked how much the operation should be, she felt like wanting to cry not knowing where she can get that money. All the money she had wouldn’t even add up to even a fourth of the amount needed. SangHyun told her he would ask money from his friends or even work part time but Dara told him to stay with mom, She have to be strong for both of them. She went to their house and changed her clothes, splashed her face to keep her awake and proceeded to go to her uncles and aunt’s house from each part of the city they were. She called Suzy and told her she might not be able to go to work tomorrow as her mom was rushed to the hospital for a failed kidney. Suzy offered to lend her a couple of thousands she had saved up but Dara declined knowing Suzy was saving that for a trip she had been planning.

The money she had gathered, all stashed up in an envelope in her bag, did not come up with the amount the doctor had said. Some of their relatives were out of the country, some are hesitant in lending her money probably knowing they would never be able to pay it back anytime soon. Some lend her willingly but others just shook their head while looking at her with scorn in their eyes while saying they were already overextended amidst the party they were having inside their house.

She hoped the hospital could take some of kind of a promisory note or something. Maybe she could work part time there to fulfill the remaining amount. Or she could still get a loan somewhere. What she just needed now is to make sure their mother gets her operation. She’ll worry about what’s going to happen later. It’s already been two days and the doctor had warned the longer the operation is, the riskier it might be.

She was jerked awake when the bus honked and she shook her head trying to clear the cloud of sleepyness she had. She didn’t even realized she already dozed off. She turned to look out the window then stood up, seeing she’s already near the hospital. She adjusted her hood and stepped out of the bus walking to the entrance. She went straight to her mom’s hospital room when she saw Sanghyun outside. And her mother lying on the hospital bed being rolled out of the room with three nurses. She ran over to them.

“I’ve got the money,” Dara said breathlessly then looked over at SangHyun who was looking relieved. “Where are they taking mom?”

“They’re going to do the operation now,” SangHyun said.

“Really?” She let out a breath but still confused. “How—why—Do they take promisory note? I mean, I’ve got almost half of the payment but I could still—“

“It’s already paid,”  SangHyun said.

Dara blinked at her brother. “What?”

SangHyun looked at something over her shoulder and she turned around. And found Donghae standing behind her. She didn’t even notice him standing there in her haste. She stared at him for a minute not understanding why he was here then she turned to her brother again, her brows creased. The look of relief on his brother’s face was evident and it was now pretty clear to her why her mother is already getting the operation. She blinked suddenly feeling so pathetic and so pitiful. She swallowed hard trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to fall. She breathed hard trying to diffuse the anger that suddenly reared up inside her. Stress, relief, tension, all decided to take it’s toll on her and she wanted nothing but lash out. How dare Donghae do this? He had no right to meddle into her business! She had spent two days, without sleep, trying to get the money. For her mother. And Donghae just walked in, flicked his hand with a wad of cash and every damn hardship she had undergone is now for nothing. She felt so humiliated. Embarassed. Ashamed that she can’t even  do much for her family. She felt useless. Incompetent.

SangHyun turned and followed the trail where their mom is being brought to while she stood there rooted to the ground.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” Dara finally found her voice but it came out strangled and hoarse.

Donghae didn’t respond for a second. “I know. But I have to do something.”

Donghae saw how rigid Dara’s shoulders are so he decided to try to joke about it, try to get her to relax a little. He smiled eventhough Dara couldn’t see it as her back was facing him. “It was really nothing.”

The joke must’ve been in a really bad taste because Dara whirled around with anger in her face and Donghae’s smile fell. “Yes, it was really nothing to you is it? What’s a couple of thousands for a kidney operation to Lee Donghae? It’s just extra cash you got!” She pulled down the zipper of her bag and took out the envelope. “Here. I’ll get the rest back to you.”

Donghae, not understanding why Dara is suddenly so furious, put up his hands, not accepting the envelope which he knew is what Dara had borrowed from her relatives. “I didn’t do it to get paid.”

Dara couldn’t even scoff. Her face was livid with anger. “Oh right. You did it for free. Your money must’ve been so overflowing that it’s really nothing to you.” She threw the envelope on Donghae’s chest and It fell on Donghae’s feet. Dara couldn’t take much more humiliation than she already got from her relatives. “My family is not a beggar!”  Her voice broke and she turned around to follow SangHyun so Donghae wouldn’t see that tears, from fury or self pity she doesn’t know, already fell from her eyes.

They were waiting anxiously for the operation to be finished. Breaths held, praying that the operation would be successful. SangHyun was pacing near the door of the operating room and Dara was sitting on one of the chairs staring at the immaculate floor. Not even a dust can be seen here. Was this floor also free of blood? Or were they wiped off to give the patients false hope? She closed her eyes trying to block out the morbid thoughts that are entering her brain but found it more difficult to open them again. And when she did, she saw Donghae walking over to SangHyun and talking to him in a low voice before giving him something to drink and a loaf of bread. SangHyun nodded his thanks and Donghae looked at her, hesitated before walking over and slowly taking a seat next to her. Dara returned her gaze  at the floor.

Donghae offered her the can of juice and a loaf of bread. “You need to eat,” he said but Dara just kept staring at the floor. She looked so tired. It’s only been two days since the last time he saw her but she already had dark circles under her eyes, her cheeks are withdrawn, her face pale. She looked like she had aged considerably . He could understand her reaction earlier. He knew the efforts she’smaking to be strong for her and her brother. He knew she’s close to breaking down. He guessed she already reached her point when he suddenly showed up. Is it better for him to be here? Would it be the best if he just left? Donghae inwardly sighed and slowly stood up. He placed the can of juice and the bread on the chair then walked off thinking he’d better leave now. Dara turned her head and just watched him go.

The operation had been successful, much to their relief. The nurses brought their mother back to the room and the doctor advised them that their mother needed to stay for at least 5 days in the hospital. He had instructed her on what her mother needed to eat and what she needed to avoid. After the doctor was done giving them instructions, she stood beside her mother’s bed and watched her as she sleep. Her mother looked pale and restless, a slight crease between her eyebrows. And she looked like had lost a of weight.

“Go home, noona,” SangHyun said standing on the other side of the bed. “You look dead on your feet. Rest. I’ll take care of mom.”

“No, I’ll stay,” Dara declined.

“I’ll call you when mom wakes up. Just go to sleep. You look like you’re going to pass out.”

Dara didn’t move so SangHyun continued. “Mom wouldn’t want to see you looking like that if she wakes up,”  SangHyun said. “She knows how much you have done for us. She doesn’t want me to tell you she’s already having stomach pains because she doesn’t want you to worry. If she she sees you looking like the walking dead, she’ll worry even more. Go to sleep. Rest.”

Dara still didn’t move.

Her brother sighed.“You’re strong noona,”  SangHyun said. “And we rely on that too much. But sometimes, even the strongest person has limits.”

Dara glanced at her brother who was looking at her with a small smile on his face. “Get some rest. I swear I’ll take care of her.”

Dara nodded after a minute and decided sit on the chair outside and try to get some sleep if that would be possible. She paused when she closed the door behind her and saw Donghae sitting on the chair across her mother’s room. Their eyes met and Dara was the first to look away. She sat on the nearby chair letting out a slow breath. She realized she had acted so irrationally earlier. She should’ve been thanking him for saving her mother.

Donghae slowly stood up and walked over to sit on the chair next to her. He looked at her hesitantly like he was afraid she would lit into him again.

“I thought you already left,” Dara said.

Donghae just sh