After shutting the gates behind her, her face instantly fell grim and her smile disappeared. Handing the bag she held on to with her dear life the whole time wshe was with the boys over to Mrs Jung she quickly demanded, “These are some clothes I bought for HwanHee just now. Where is she?” Upon hearing Mrs Jung’s reply, she dashed straight for her room where she found her father sitting on the bed beside HwanHee. Pretending like everything was fine, she walked towards her dad and greeted him with a smile as she casually plants herself in between her baby and her father, consciously distancing the two. It did not take her a second to realize that her father was drunk from the alcohol stench and the awful blush that clouded his face. “Appa, what brings you up to my room?” She questioned timidly but tried to sound calm. “I guess you wanted to see HwanHee?” she laughed trying to sound relaxed. Her father did not answer her. Instead, his back faced her as he let out a cynical laughter.

“Of course I did. That little brat,” He started with a pause as he pointed to HwanHee who was sleeping, “was crying like an idiot. So I came here to shut her up. That annoying thing.”

HwanHee’s eyes widened as she quickly placed a hand on her baby’s tummy and boldly spat back, “That ‘annoying thing’ is my daughter.” She knew what was coming but the one thing she could not tolerate was whenever her father called her baby ‘that thing’ as he always does. She knew that even if it would get her into trouble, she could not just keep quiet about it and let HwanHee be objectified by her father.

As if on cue, a hand flew across her face, the impact strong enough to send her lying flat on her bed with a thud, waking her baby up. By then, HwanHee had already started crying at the top of her lungs from shock. Getting up, HaYeon gently soothed her baby with a small smile on her face. As she lifted HwanHee into her arms to cradle her, another slap met her face, burning. She grabbed HwanHee closer to her and turned her back away to protect her baby as her father violently aggressed HaYeon as HwanHee continued to cry. Unable to take it further, HaYeon attempted to leave the room numerous times with HwanHee in her arms as she always does but she could not as each time, her father would pull her back by the hair and throw her on the bed again. Physically and verbally abusing her.

She knew it was not her fault. She spent a good half of her life being treated like that ever since her mom left the family, and she had been her father’s punching bag ever since. Especially if he came home drunk. Which was most of the time. Even when she does not talk back to him or do anything for that matter of fact, he would always find a reason to hit her.

She knew her father hated her for everything that she is, and she does not deny it either.

For the fact that she had a daughter as a teen, that she was left behind by her parents, that she was never able to hold her head up high, for basically being born as Yoon Ha Yeon. Which was why even though she wanted so badly to rebel, leave and retaliate, she never done so, because even she could not look herself in the mirror and tell herself that she loves herself for who she is and everything that made her past.

But that does not reduce any of the physical and emotional hurt she feels each time her father’s punch meets her face or the insults spat calling her a .

Because she knew even though he was drunk, her father meant every single word that he said.

And no matter how much she tried to push it out of her mind, her subconscious devil accepted it as her reality.