Chapter 1: That Unfortunate Event

“Dad, I got a perfect score in my exam!”

I was fixing some documents of my next project when Sooyoung came into my room presenting her test paper.

Sooyoung chose to live with me in Korea because Soojin got married with my friend. She said she didn’t want to be in the way of her Mom and her stepdad. So, she chose me.

At first, I felt like it was really unfair. It’s unfair because she was all for her Mom’s relationship but she wasn’t cool with me and Ashin before. With that I can’t help but think about what could’ve been if she accepted Ashin before?

Ashin and I could’ve gotten married. Sooyoung could’ve had a brother or a sister.

Sooyoung is almost ten years old now and she keeps on telling me to find someone to love. She’s telling me to also look for someone who I would marry.

But how could I tell her that the person I wanted to marry is the same person she didn’t like eight years ago?

“What do you want? Daddy will give it to you. Name it.” I told her as I took her test paper and smiled at her perfect score.

She paused and thought for a second. “Uhm…” She’s thinking. “I want you to look for someone you could marry!” She told me.

My eyes widened at what she said. “What?” I asked, almost laughing. Why did she have to bring that topic up right now?

She looked at me innocently. “Daddy, I’m a big girl now,” she started. “If you’re thinking that you couldn’t take care of me when you have somebody, I’d be fine. I can take care of myself now.” She told me sounding like an adult. “And besides, there’s Grandma and Gramps. They’ll take care of me.” She smiled.

I looked at her weirdly. “What has gotten into you that made you wish that?” I asked her as I carried her. Yes, she’s almost ten years old, but she’s still my baby. She’ll forever be my baby.

She looked back at me. “Because Mommy is having a baby soon and I don’t want you to feel sad.” She pouted. “You should also have someone to take care of you.”

I smiled. “But you can take care of me.” I told her.

“Daddy,” she’s looking so serious that I want to laugh at her. “When the time comes that I need to get married, I won’t be able to take care of you.”

What?

I gave her another weird look. “Are you planning on getting married?” I asked, kidding.

She wrinkled her nose. “I’m talking futuristically.” She said. Wow. Futuristic. Where did she learn that word?

“What if I get married and you still don’t have someone to be with you? Who will take care of you, Daddy?”

I smiled. “You’re worrying too early.” I told her. “You’re not even in middle school yet!” I beamed and she hit me lightly.

“Dad!” She whined and I brought her down because my phone started to ring wildly.

I motioned her to keep quiet first because I have to take the call from her Uncle Minho and she didn’t talk afterwards.

“Hello?” I said as I answered the call.

I couldn’t understand what Minho was talking about because it was very noisy. It was as if there is chaos from the other line.

“What? Please, calm down.” I told him.

“Ashin… She’s breaking down.” He told me. “We can’t calm her down. Come here, Kris. She’s uncontrollable. Even Gina couldn’t stop her.” He said.

At the mention of Ashin’s name, my ears perked up. “Where are you?” I asked. I don’t want to waste time.

“Hanguk Hospital.” He replied.

“Okay, okay. I’m coming.” I hung up and took my coat immediately.

Sooyoung was looking at me. “Daddy, where are you going?” She asked.

I bent down and patted her shoulder. “Daddy’s going to the hospital.” I told her. “I’m going to see if your Aunt Ashin is okay, alright?” I kissed her forehead. “Stay here and wait for Grandma and Gramps. Nanny is in the kitchen.”

She nodded and kissed my cheek. “Take care, Daddy.” She told me and I hurried out to my car, speeding to the hospital.

On my way to the hospital, Minho called me again.

“What?” I asked as I tried to focus on driving. “I’m coming.” I continued. “Tell me what happened, exactly. I don’t want to be the one who’s shocked of the situation.”

“There was an accident at the site where Mark is working at. The floor collapsed.” He beamed. “Unfortunately, no one survived. Everyone is pronounced dead upon arrival at the hospital.” He continued. “Ashin is going insane. She’s yelling and crying at Mark.”

Holy ! I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know how Ashin is going to take this. I’m sure it won’t be easy. this.

Instead of responding to what Minho said, I sped up and beat the red light. I arrived and parked in no time. I don’t have time to think. I just have to see Ashin and comfort her right now.

I walked in the corridors.

I can hear her crying.

Ashin is breaking down in front of Mark Tuan. Anyone who could see her right now would know that she’s hurt too much. She’s feeling so much pain.

I walked to her and took her in my arms.

“Everything will be alright.” I told her as I her hair.

She’s bawling and crying loudly in my arms. How much pain is she into right now? How is this unfortunate event sipping all the life into her right now? How painful must it be for her to be feeling like this on her birthday?

We were even about to surprise her tonight. Mark contacted everyone for his surprise for her. But what the hell? How can life be this cruel? How hard must it be for life to give Ashin happiness?

I shut my eyes as I leaned my chin on top of her head. God, I don’t want to see her breaking like this. I can’t bear to see her dying slowly like this.

She’s that one person I will always love and want to see smiling from ear-to-ear. I don’t even care if she’s with me or she’s with someone else anymore. I must see her smile. And ! Seeing her like this pains me as much as she is pained right now.

Forget about everything I said that she will end up with me whatever happens, if Mark’s passing away would leave her like this, then I would turn back the time and be the one dead. At least, she won’t be this sad if I was the one who’s dead.

Song Minho told me that there had been an accident at the site where Mark is working on. One of the posts collapsed making the whole upper floor break down, trapping and killing all ten workers, including Mark.

Ashin continued to cry her heart out in my arms without even caring about all the people looking at her. She’s too weak. She’s too vulnerable. She’s too fragile. I’m holding her right now but I know that she is slowly breaking into pieces.

I stayed with her for another hour and she had stopped…for now. Maybe she grew tired of crying that she had to stop and rest first before the tears pour all at once again.

Her eyes are swollen and she looked really pale. I want to tell her to sleep and rest first but what do I know about the pain that she’s keeping in right now?

How do I know the feeling of having the person you love pass away at the height of your love for each other when I am looking at the person I love directly right now?

Why did she have to experience this kind of pain? She had been hurt for many times before. She had met the wrong persons in search for the right one. But why did this still have to happen to her?

If I could take away her pain, if she could only transfer all the pain she is feeling right now to me,  I would be more than willing to hurt for her.

“We planned on getting married at the end of this year.” For the first time after an hour of crying, I heard her voice – that weak and cracking voice because she’s almost drained of energy.

I didn’t speak. I want her to let it all out. She has to let it all out so she’d feel relieved of all the emotions she’s feeling in her chest. And I want her to feel that I am here. I am willing to listen.

“We planned on going to Maldives for our honeymoon because the beach there looks too magical. So, we planned on going back to Maldives for our honeymoon.” I can hear her voice starting to sound like crying.

But still, I didn’t speak. I don’t know what I would tell her.

I heard her chuckle weakly. “But why did he have to leave me?” She asked me. “And why must it be on my birthday?”

It was my mistake to look at her because she’s crying. And I hate to see her cry. Damn! I want to kill someone when I see tears falling down her cheeks.

One second and she started crying again. Oh, God, Ashin, when will your tears run dry?

“This pain is excruciating.” She sobbed. “I didn’t know it was possible to feel this intensity of pain. It’s like I’m left with no choice but to want to die.”

I shook my head and pulled her into my arms again. “No. You’ll get through this, alright? Everything will be alright.” I told her. “I am here. We are here for you. You’re not alone.” Oh, God, I want to take all her pain away. It pains me to see her like this.

She didn’t speak. Instead, she cried even louder. How can I bear to hear her crying like this?

“How do I live now, Kris? My life has been taken from me.” She sobbed and I felt a thousand needles pricking my heart. I am here, Ashin. I can be your life.