Play this as you read. It's a very good song. :)

Got7 - Moonlight

Chapter 2: Her Life. My Life.

A wonderful melody is playing in the background as I entered the hall where Mark’s remains were being laid. There are a lot of people mourning for him but no one would be as lonely as Ashin right now.

I walked and greeted Mark’s parents first and offered them my condolences before going to where Minho and other friends are at.

I looked over at Ashin and saw her crying quietly in one corner. Gina is trying to console her but she would just brush her off. Lord, what do I do to get the old Ashin back?

I sighed and listened to what Minho was talking about. He was talking about how Ashin didn’t even have a wink of sleep since the incident and it’s been four days. Tomorrow will be his last day, his burial.

I couldn’t fathom how tired Ashin is, both physically and emotionally. Hell, I don’t even know if I would last that long. It’s been almost seventy-two hours and she’s not even slept a wink. How do I make her rest for a while?

And her tears. Oh, God, her tears. When will all those tears run dry?

I wanna make it so no one else can see you.

I wanna hide you in the moonlight so only I can see you.

I’ll gather all the memories of you and engrave it in the moonlight.

I want to color the night sky with you and me.

Four lines of that song in the background and Ashin was crying really loudly again. Gina and Mark’s family went over at her and asked her to calm down.

But what do we really know about the intensity of pain Ashin is holding inside her right now? To us, Mark is a friend. To Ashin, Mark is her life. He made her whole again. He made her find love again.

To her, Mark is the light that guided her back to the right track.

So what do we really know about the pain she is feeling right now? We lost a friend. She lost her life. It’s a huge difference.

“Mark wrote that song for her for their first anniversary.” Jackson, Mark’s buddy told me. “The seven of us recorded that song and sang it in front of the whole campus where Ashin is studying at.” He said in a sad tone.

So this is why this song is too precious for her. So this is why listening to this song makes her even sadder. So this is why she loved him so much.

He gave her too much happiness – happiness that I couldn’t even imagine myself giving her.

The light is disappearing tonight. Just you and me, just us two.

We’re laying under the shadow of the moonlight.

I’m gonna hold you, girl, I’mma hold you tight.

Mark’s voice and Ashin was breaking down again. Why is this song even playing anyway? Is she trying to kill herself?

“Ashin!”

Everything stopped as Gina’s voice echoed around the hall. Everyone looked at their way. Ashin was down on the floor. She fainted.

I immediately ran to where she is and carried her. I am not even thinking anymore. I just need her to be okay and I’ll be fine myself.

“I’m going to take her to the hospital.” I told Gina and she nodded. “You should come with me.” I told her and she stayed with the unconscious Ashin at the backseat as I drove.

I looked at Ashin’s face at the rearview mirror. Damn, she’s so pale and she really looked like she would faint anytime. Her eyes are swollen from excessive crying. She looked thinner than the last time I saw her – since three days ago.

“She’s really taking it the hard way.” Gina spoke with sadness evident from her tone.

I didn’t speak because she’s right. Ashin’s taking it the hard way. Well, I wouldn’t blame her. The loss was too sudden. She was not prepared for any of this.

“Do you know that they were supposed to get married by the end of this year?” She asked me and I nodded.

“She told me last time.” Ashin was crying that time. It was too hard for her to accept the truth. Well, if I were in her place, it would be hard, too. I guess, I’d do the same. Or maybe worse.

Gina sighed. “They were a picture of what a perfect love was.” She continued and I tried to not tear up. When I think of how perfect they are, I think of how stupid I am to let her go.

“Mark always showered her with love. He was always the one who makes sacrifices for her. He even decided to stay in Korea for good because he couldn’t bear to be away from her.”

Mark’s a good man – the best, even – if we’re talking about how he treats Ashin. To him, Ashin was more than any diamond and any precious gem in the world. He never treated her less than a queen. She was always his priority.

I remembered one time when we were in college, it was our graduation party. Mark and I went on the same school and we belonged in the same department.

We were enjoying ourselves reminiscing how hard college was when Ashin called him telling him that Sharky was sick. Damn, he didn’t even hesitate to run and drive all the way from our school to Ashin’s house – which was almost fifty kilometers away.

That was the time when I told myself to be happy that Ashin found a man who would give everything for her. He would give up everything for her. She was always at the top of his list.

“I even have a hard time accepting the truth.” Gina said. “I can’t even imagine how hard it is for Ashin right now.” She said as she brushed her hand on Ashin’s hair.

I know. This must be the hardest moment in Ashin’s life.

We arrived at the hospital in no time. The doctor examined and ran some tests on Ashin. I stared at her sleeping on the hospital bed and my heart aches.

Did she really have to go through all this pain?

“Her hemoglobin’s low.” The doctor told me. “Probably, because she’s stressed.” He continued.

I looked at him. “So, she’s not going to take any medications to get her hemoglobin in normal ranges?” I asked. Don’t fret. I know some of these terms because Mom used to work in a diagnostic center.

He shook his head. “For now, she needs no medication. Her hemoglobin should be normal again once she gets enough rest.” He told me. “Don’t worry, she’ll be fine. She can go home once she’s awake.”

I nodded and thanked the doctor. I sighed in relief.

I walked over to Gina who’s watching over Ashin.

“What did the doctor say?” She asked me.

I showed her the results. “Her hemoglobin’s low but that could be because she’s stressed.” I repeated what the doctor told me. “He said she’ll be okay and she can go home once she’s awake.”

Gina sighed in relief. “Thank God.” She beamed.

I smiled. “You should rest, too.” I told her. Like Ashin, she also looks pale and weak. She’s been busy taking care of Ashin and she’s starting to forget about herself.

She sighed once again. “I’m fine.” She said. “I’m just really worried about Ashin. This is the first time that I’ve seen her like this and I don’t know what I could do for her.” She started tearing up. “For once, I’m being slapped of how useless I am as her best friend because I can’t make her feel better.”

I sighed and hugged her. “It’s not your fault. People deal with pain differently.” I told her. “Ashin may not tell you verbally but I know that she’s grateful to have you at this stage of her life. Stay strong. For yourself and for Ashin.”

Gina cried harder and I hugged her tighter.

Everyone is hurting. Everyone is in pain. And sometimes, all we need to know is we have someone who’s willing to be with us with the struggle and challenges we are facing.

Sometimes, we all need a best friend.

Sometimes, all we need is a hug that would make us feel secured. A hug that would calm us down. A hug that would remind us that we are not alone.

I asked Gina to go home and rest first as I stay with Ashin. She didn’t fight back and just did what I told her. She’s tired as well. She needed time to rest.

I took a deep breath as I stared at Ashin’s sleeping face. For the first time in three days, she closed her eyes and rested. I didn’t want to wake her up.

I guess, for her, it’s the same thing. She also doesn’t want to wake up. Times like this, waking up would mean facing reality and getting hurt again.

I held her hand carefully and kissed her fingers. I don’t know if it was some sort of a gut feeling or if it was something I really wanted to do for a long time.

“I just need you to be the old Ashin again.” I told her softly. “The Ashin that would smile from ear-to-ear even though everyone is lashing you behind your back. The Ashin that would do whatever she could to get what she wants. The Ashin who believes in love.”

I sighed as I held my tears back. I can’t believe I’m crying for her right now that she’s crying for someone else.

Looking at her this weak makes me even weaker. It pains me to see the person I love crying for the person she loves who’s not going to come back to her.

Hell, if I could bring the dead back to life, I would have. If Mark coming back to life would mean Ashin being happy again, I’d willingly offer my life to have Mark back.

I just need to see Ashin smiling again. I just need to see her believing in love again.

Perhaps, I love her too much to want her to smile again – even though I won’t be the reason behind her happiness. Perhaps, I’m this crazily and irrevocably in love with her to even want to give my own life for her deceased boyfriend.

She said Mark was her life. She said she couldn’t bear to live without him.

Well, for me, it’s the same. She’s my life. I couldn’t bear to live without her. But see? I’ve managed to go through all the pain to still be standing right now.

“Be strong, Ashin.” I told her. “I promise you I’d do everything I can to make you whole again. If it means giving you my whole time and attention, I would. Just be the girl I love again.” I couldn’t help a tear from escaping my eye.