Prologue:

“There are no second chances, Kris. My belief still stands. We’re done.”

I felt like I was being shot by millions of bullets straight to my chest – straight to my heart. I wanted to run to her and beg for her to give me one more chance.

For once, I was willing to give up everything for her. Sooyoung? I can just let her live with her mother. I won’t even request to be with her anymore. I just want Ashin. I just want her back to my life. But how do you expect me to beg for her when she’s the one who gave up in the first place? How do you expect me to continue fighting when the person I’m fighting for had already given up the fight?

I stood there, stoned and watched her as she disappeared through the corridors. She didn’t even look back. She didn’t even give me one last glance. She just went and left me all alone.

I was devastated. I swear there has never been this kind of intensity of pain. This was by far the worst pain I have ever felt. Not even have I felt like this when I caught Soojin cheating on me with my own friend. That pain weakened and made me an outcast.

But this. This is killing me. The pain is making me want to kill myself, even.

I’m lost. For the rest of the days that went by, I haven’t been acting like me. I had attempted to talk to Ashin numerous times, I had waited for her every morning but damn it! That Mark guy is always with her. He’s holding and touching her at the wrong places and I wanted to beat the hell out of him.

I have heard rumors that he’s dating my girl but I didn’t want to believe anything. I can’t believe it even though Song Minho was shouting it to my face in class.

I couldn’t give up attending classes. I wanted to. I wanted to make Ashin miss me. I wanted to make her worry about me but I am scared. What if she doesn’t even look for me when I’m gone? What if she won’t even worry when I don’t show up for days?

What if she’s busy with someone else that she forgets about me?

I didn’t want that to happen. So I had to go to class and see her and maybe when the time comes, I’d be immune and I’d get used to this pain that I could live through it. Though days had passed but I’m still hurting like that first time.

“Dada, me no want to go back.” Sooyoung looked at me with her pouty lips. It’s time for her to go back to China.

I carried her and kissed her cheek. “You’ll see me soon.” I told her. I have to reassure her since I am going back to China for vacation this summer.

I sighed hard as I recalled how I have been preparing myself to tell Ashin that I’d want her to come to me to China. I want her to see my homeland. I want to bring her to the places that I’d love to be.

When the summer comes, would she be mine again?

I don’t know. But the more I am seeing Sooyoung around, the more I am reminded of how Ashin didn’t want to be with me because she didn’t want to Sooyoung to have a broken family. Somehow, Sooyoung is the main reason why Ashin couldn’t be with me.

Of course I wouldn’t let that happen. After all, when I marry her, she’d be Sooyoung’s mom and we’d be a happy family.

All written in the sand and the water have already erased it. How do I make Ashin write it again?

I took Sooyoung to the airport and bid goodbye to her. She’s going home with Soojin but she’s crying because she wanted me to come with them. She wanted all three of us to live together in China.

I wish I could. But if I did, it’s like I’m giving up on Ashin. I won’t ever give up on her. If I had to wait forever for her, I would. I could support her when she dates again but I would see to it that in the end, it will still be me.

She’d still end up with me.

Summer came but Ashin isn’t still with me. I had to go to China because I promised Sooyoung I would tour her around the country. I really wanted to make Ashin come to me but I heard from the blabbermouth Song Minho that they’re going to be in Maldives for the summer.

The four of them. Song Minho, Gina, that Mark Tuan and my Ashin.

I heard that Mark and Ashin are getting on that phase where they are about to get officially be called a couple and I had to hold myself back from killing that bastard.

It was weird because no matter how much I tried to control myself, when it comes to Ashin, I don’t know anything anymore. She’d always be the key to my demonic side. She’d always be the key to my monstrous and beastly side.

With her, I’d always want to kill all the boys looking at her. Damn! I want her all for myself. I want her all for me.

God knows how I wanted to kick her ex-boyfriends out of this world when they started to come back to her. Especially that Chanyeol. Especially that er.

“Dada!” Sooyoung was running to me in a red dress. Following behind her is Soojin who’s wearing that same dress. She smiled at me and I nodded as I carried Sooyoung.

“How was the travel?” Soojin asked

I smiled. “It’s tiring, of course.” I replied

Sooyoung shrieked at our small encounter. How would I tell her that there will never be a progress for me and her mother?

Soojin and I are way over and I only see her as a friend. She’s not a girl to me anymore since I know that she’s still seeing my friend until now. I just don’t know why Sooyoung doesn’t know about him yet.

“Dada! Let’s go get ice cream!” Sooyoung beamed and I smiled.

Of course, anything for my daughter.

Time passed and when I got back to Korea for college, the pain was not the same anymore. Maybe I had adjusted to the pain but I am not sure if I have forgotten about her anymore.

At first I wanted to go to the same college as Ashin but would I even risk my future for her? I’ve risked everything and I think for the first time in a long time, I have to do something for myself and for my parents.

“Hey, man!” It was Mark, Ashin’s boyfriend. It pains me that Mark holds the longest among Ashin’s relationships. I wish it was me. But hell, I’m still hoping they’d break up and Ashin would come back to me.

I nodded at him. “You’re studying here, too?” I asked him and he nodded. How come he’s not in the same school as Ashin?

“Engineering.” He replied. “You?”

“Architecture.” I shrugged as I slung my bag on my shoulder.

“Cool.” Mark beamed. “Ashin’s taking architecture, too.” He beamed. “It’s funny because she’s not good at drawing at all and yet she took architecture.” He chuckled.

I don’t know why he’s telling me that when he knows my history with his girlfriend but I’m happy that Ashin is taking the same thing I am taking.

“Oh! If you have time, you could come to Ashin’s house.” He told me. “We’re having a birthday party for our daughter.”

I raised my brow at what he said. “Daughter?” I asked.

He chuckled. “I mean, it’s a Chow-chow. Her name’s Sharky.” He explained. I don’t know why I felt relieved that it’s a dog and it’s not a baby.

“Sure, man.” I told him. “I’d stop by if I have time later.” There’s no way I am going to stop by. Not when I know that I’d only see him and Ashin getting all too sweet.

Two years have gone by and I think I’m feeling a lot better. I also have bumped into Ashin and Mark for several times and I had been okay with seeing them together. It stings a bit and I still feel somehow regretful but I’m getting by.

In fact, I even asked the two of them to be Sooyoung’s godparents. Of course, they couldn’t come because it is in China. But I wished Ashin was there. I wish she would meet Sooyoung again.

And she did.

Randomly, when Sooyoung was having a visit in Korea, we bumped into them at the theatre. She said they’d watch Robin Hood, The Musical too.

I was too shocked because Sooyoung looked so comfortable with Ashin, they even looked like mother and daughter.

Sure, my love for Ashin had quieted down but I would never be contented with just looking at her from afar. I have to finally accept that she’s not going to be mine.

That’s why with every touch and kiss I had seen her receive from Mark, I had to try to not close an eye. I have to face reality.

If there was one thing I learned from Ashin, it’s the thing about reality. She’s my The One That Got Away. She is my one true love but never the one for me.

How sad could that be?

At first, it was hell. But now, I’m getting a bit better. Day by day I had to be better. For Sooyoung and especially for myself.

If I had to continue loving her like this, where would this love even take me? My love for her is very destructive because my love for her is very strong. My love for her is too strong that it hadn’t even died down until now. It just quieted down. It didn’t disappear.

I still love her.

I will forever love her.

If someone comes and I had to love her, my love for her would not even be compared at how strong my love for Ashin is. Ashin will always be in the center of my heart.

All the other girls could be the accessory. But Ashin will always own my heart.

Her smile, her laugh and even her tears. Those three will always be the top three precious things in my whole life.

Nothing’s going to change. I may have accepted that she had moved on, but I will still be here whenever she needs me. I will still run from China to Korea if she calls. That’s how I love her.

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I want to see the difference on your reactions when it's actually the male lead's point of view. Let's see if you would get mad at Ashin the way you got mad at Kris from the previous book. 

You understood Ashin in Book 1, would you still understand her now that you're reading Kris' viewpoint? :)

- RChampagne <3

FIGHTING! Thanks for reading. ^^