Chapter 9

He doesn't know what to do anymore. The walls of the hospital feel as if they are inching closer and closer towards him, and the air around him becomes tighter and tighter, suffocating him until he lifts his fingers to touch the gas mask on his face; showing him that there is oxygen presant even if he cannot feel it.

Days and days pass by as he stares out the same old sizable window. And he is yet to see a trace of anyone who can shed light onto him. 

Whats the point of the mask? He often wonders as the monitor beeps away, he already feels dead anyways.

His father showed up eariler that day, and the rest of the days to check up on him. But Baekhyun didn't care anymore. Even if he has wanted his father to notice him before, he didn't want any of this supposed caring merely because he is claimed as suicidal. 

This love, devotion, and concern... It isn't real, just like he isn't.

He's not real. He has done nothing but cover himself up in materials that showcase as himself. The person in the mask is indeed himself, it's his layer of protection, his armor of blending in with other normal people, even if he knew he wasn't normal. But now, he doesn't care about his mask. The real layer of protection is, and has always been, Chanyeol. 

How could he be so stupid? Even if he knew that Chanyeol would leave him after finding out, even if he knew others would oppose him even more because of all these variables coated inside him; he still had that so-small tinge of hope surfing deep inside himself. And now he knows he was just stupid.

No one ever stays anyways, he has always known, he just wanted to believe otherwise for once.

The nurse arrives with his lunch around noon, which according to them is filled with nutrients, in which his body lacks in, apparently. No surprise, his mind automaticaly processes as he stares at the mashed potato's, meat and vegtables steaming in front of him. They look rich and hot, the smell of meat on the stove invades his senses, yet his appetite is ellimenated and baren. The need to eat was never urging for him anyways.

Time ticks by and Baekhyun's eyes catch the clock as soon as the door opens. It's two o'clock, and the fact that he realized it makes him believe how much time he's wasting in that empty room. He doesn't do anything anyways. 

The nurse walks in with a tray of needles, syringe's, and other tools he isn't familair with plastered atop it. “Hello Baekhyun, how are you doing today?” She asks him so calmly, as if she is speaking to a 5 year old child. And he finds it so bothersome that he can already feel the needles spike through him. 

Crossing his hands over his chest, he turns his head the other way despondently. “I don't want any of it.” 

“Now Baekhyun, you have to be a good boy and listen—”

“I'm not mental, I'm not sucidal! Leave me a-alone!” He feels himself stutter, and he curses himself for it. He wants to be stronger, he wants to try. 

“It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm like your friend—” 

Friend. 

He thought he had a friend, he thought he had someone he can share deep emotions with and feel so normal around even if he wasn't normal. But it's all perished and gone.

“I don't have friends! Leave me alone!”

The nurses face becomes stern and she grabs a syringe as she looks at him with irritation. That look. Was that the look Chanyeol always had buried inside? Was that how he always felt about him? As if he is nothing but a disturbance and a blemish?

“Listen, your going to stay still—” She beckons her hand in the direction of a few nurses standing at the door, and they approach the bed “—And this won't hurt as much as you think it will.”

Hurt? He doesn't feel anything anymore. He's only a pin cushion, something useless and worthless.

Your only human. 

That voice mocks him, and he wants it out of his head for good.

Hands reach out to hold him in place and he sturggles as he tries to pry them away. Skin against skin, hands swarming around him from every corner, and his stomach quickly flips at the contact. It's so dark, colors of dark green scrubs morph into one in his vision and everything is spinning. 

“No! Stop!” He tries to push and scramble away, but they are holding on so tightly, and the only other thing that blurs his vision of darkness is the tears that fall down his pale face. 

“Hey! What do you think your doing!” A voice shouts in the midst of his weakness, and the hands on him stop their movements as their heads turn towards the door, and Baekhyun can see the light once again.

“This is no place for a kid, leave before we call security.”

“Call them! And I'll report you for mistreatment of a patient.” Silky brown hair, eyes of mystery, natural curvy lips and a persona of many. It doesn't take long for Baekhyun to notice Jongdae, but when he does, he feels something tug inside his chest. 

A doctor appears besides the short boy and the nurses all leave the room, as if seeing the doctor was somesort of sign for them to leave. Baekhyun thinks they're scared of him. 

The doctor says his apologies and he leaves the two boys alone, in which they share a silence so great that Baekhyun can feel how dense the air is. 

Air.

“Are you... okay?” He asks after a while of quietness, and Baekhyun only looks at him with nothing but a blank stare. At this point, he doesn't really know how or what to feel. It can all be shattered within seconds.

“Why did you come?” It comes out without him even noticing, it's as if he didn't process it at all. The only thing he was sure of is that it feels so terrible inside his chest, like a bee has just stung him.

Jongdae adverts his eyes and stuffs his hands into his pockets before speaking, but Baekhyun can tell that he seems a bit shocked. “Why are you...” He starts, but then he sighs and takes his hands out to rake them through his hair. “I just heard that something happened to you, I...” 

“What are you trying to say, Jongdae?” He asks straightforwardly, and his own pair of despondent eyes meet with same pair in front of him. 

“I'm just ing glad your alive, alright?” He blurts and it momentairly takes Baekhyun aback. He wants to say something back, but he is awed.

Jongdae... your such a mystery.

He continues to play with the buttons on his shirt, which Baekhyun guesses is a sign of nervouesness. “Now come with me. I want to show you something.” 

After getting out of the hospital, with much effort considering Baekhyun was being constantly watched, Jongdae led him down a path of other pedestrains roaming the same street. He wants to question where Jongdae is leading him, but he is too tired to do or say anything. 

They walk for some time, long enough for his feet to begin to puncture, but by the time it starts to irritate him, he finds Jongdae halting. Baekhyun observes the front of the garage Jongdae has led him to; it is crea