Chapter 12

The next day Chanyeol wakes up to the smell of something burning, so instinctivly he gets up quickly and runs to the kitchen, but all he finds is a short boy with overly large PJ's trying to wave the smoke away with kitchen glove. He coughs as he hurridly grabs Baekhyun, who is also coughing, by the shoulders and takes him away from the polluting smoke.

Baekhyun tries to speak without a rasp in his tone, “I was uh... trying to make breakfast but um...” He fumbles with his fingers as he musters off distressed signals with his body. Luckily, he hears Chanyeol's laugh and most of his embaressment drifts away.

“Did you cook a cardboard box?” He asks jokingly, reciving a pout from Baekhyun.

“It was supposed to be eggs and kimchi...” He murmurs, and Chanyeol takes a look at the opened cook book laying behind the black smoke. 

“Don't worry about it, we'll just eat burnt cabbage and yolks for breakfast today.” Says Chanyeol, and Baekhyun eyes him before punching him on his bicep, although he hesitated, he still did it. 

“Your teasing me.” He doesn't mean to, but he pouts.

“Well I meant the ‘don't worry’ part, because you look even cuter like this, so it doesn't matter what we eat.” Just that simple sentence males Baekhyun feel hot in the face once again. Oh Chanyeol, stop doing that.. “I love it when you get all pink.” 

And that is how Byun Baekhyun was hotter than the Sahara desert throughout their whole meal of burnt cabbage and possible cardboard bits.

After Chanyeol dropped him off at Jinki's house, Baekhyun was bombarded by Seung Ho, who was pale as chalk out of worry. “Oh thank Christ your back.” He sighs heavily, coming over to place his hands on Baekhyun's shoulders while inspecting every feature on his face. The boy faces his father with a stone face, grim and untouched. So he begins to act like a father when he was supposivily going to die? How comforting.

Backing away from his grasp, he only passes by him as if he was a ghost and heads for his room. Seeing his father only makes him think of his weakest moments, moments which he would like to forget and throw away. Or at least try to dispose of. 

______________________

“So Baekhyun, how are you feeling today?” Mr. Zhang asks whilst fixing his glasses on his nose. Baekhyun lays back on the chair with a sigh.

“Why don't you tell me how I feel? Your the therapist.”

The man looks at him through his glasses pointedly. “Why are you so difficult with me Baekhyun? Let's just get along, it won't hurt anyone.”

“I don't need to be here... that's all I have to say to you, and you know it.”

“You have to learn to see the real world, open your eyes and live. Your clouded judgements and thoughts are the ones that have brought you here.”

“I'm living in it. I don't understand.” Although he believes this placement here was caused by the wronging of himself, he kind of thought Mr. Zhang was a good person, if he wasn't assigned to him as a therapist then maybe he would feel okay with talking to him. Quite ironic, actually. It's just the fact that every time he sets foot into this office, he is reminded of what caused him to seem so dysfunctional. As if there is something wrong with him.

“You must think before you do anything, it is all simple logic. And ending a life is not a sign of thinking, but it is only a sign of loss of hope.” Mr. Zhang is trying to fix him, but he already knows where the problem lies, where all of the lies and horror start. But the scary thing is that he isn't sure if it's him or not anymore.

Baekhyun hesitates before speaking as he fumbles with his fingers.“What if... you can't do it?”

Mr. Zhang removes his glasses by the side, and places them on the black fabric of his pants. “What do you mean?” He asks, opening his notebook with his pencil in hand.

“What if losing hope is the only way to live...?” He won't deny that he is putting in somesort of effort, however there are still variables that are trying to block him of his path.

The therapist is taken aback as he outstares him, making Baekhyun turn away. Has he said too much?

“But Baekhyun, losing hope is not called living, it is called surviving.” He writes something down, “Let us say you are stranded in a forest, and you have to hunt for your food and search for shelter. You would be trapped, but your instinct tells you to search for nessissites to keep living. That's like surviving. Is there something going on that you would like to share with me?”

His words make Baekhyun think that even though he has been trying to change himself, he is still just trapped in the grip of that evil woman. But he cannot help and think that he is speaking with the wrong person. It is not Mr. Zhang he should ‘share’ it with, but someone else.

It is raining outside as he walks down the stairs of Mr. Zhang's office, not too much to drench his clothes though, it feels of sprinkles. He would like it either way though, because the rain always managed to make him feel better. Whenever he would be alone in that room with wounds of blood and emotions of lonliness, his only companion would sometimes be the pitter patter of the rain.

He takes in the smell of wet asphalt while walking aimlessly around town. He doesn't walk outside, at all, but it feels pretty normal with having done it by Chanyeol's side plenty of times. Through the small clumps of people going to place to place, Baekhyun's eyes land on a running figure. The man is looking frantic as he speedly moves his legs through the crowd, but there is something familar about him... something that Baekhyun can't really place his finger on.

He looks at where the man came from, and he spots the office he was just exiting no longer than a minute ago, alongside a hospital. Come to think of it, the man could have come from anywhere. He looks around for him, but he can't seem to show up. Distracted as he was, he doesn't pay attention to anything from behind him, so the collision of someone knocking into him comes as a surprise to him. He ends up falling with the person cobbling atop his back side.

Baekhyun groans while the man slips off of him, allowing him to turn around and see for himself who—

“Jongdae?”

He questions, confusion and shock vibraiting in his tone. Eventually when they get up, Baekhyun confronts him first. “Were you coming from the hospital? Is everything okay?” He hopes nothing has happened to harm Chanyeol, and also that it wasn't Jongdae to have made the hospital visit either.

“I-It's them! They wa-want me, b-but I can't! I-I can't leave him!” His eyeballs move franticaly as he speaks, looking back and fourth worridly, as if something is chasing him and is bound to catch him. It makes Baekhyun swallow, oh no, could it be?

He act