Having spent the whole night sleeping on the chair besides Chanyeol's bed, Baekhyun feels cramps and knots wellow up around his back. It hurts, but he has felt worse and plus, he can't even bring himself to get up without knowing that Chanyeol is alright, so his stubborn self doesn't really have much of a choice. They have arrived around 1:30 AM, and now it is 5:00 AM, practically 4 hours of merely watching Chanyeol's chest heavy up in down. 

He has memorized the beat of his heart, and it captivaites him until his own eyes begin to flutter. Baekhyun tries to keep himself awake, but it is inevitable with his worn out body. 

A few hours pass and Baekhyun jolts awake from the noise of thunder cracking the sky above him. He moves his eyes towards Chanyeol's laying figure, but the man is as stiff as he last saw him, completely overpowering the noises of nature. 

He sighs at the horrible realization; Chanyeol is sick and he cannot help but blame himself for it. If he wasn't so messed up, would this have happened?

Jongdae walks in and interupts another one of his internal conflicts, informing him that once Chanyeol awakens, he must have a bite to eat. So he says he'll go out and buy some frozens from the market, but Baekhyun hated this idea for Chanyeol deserved a home cooked meal. Though what a hypocrite he is, since he has never had one of those himself. At least he is aware it is common courtesy, or at least a sign of, dare he say, love.

Afterwards, when Jongdae had returned, Baekhyun heads to the kitchen and around thirty minutes later he comes back with a tray of soup in his hands, hoping that it won't cool down before Chanyeol can have a sip. And god must have answered his prayers, because the next thing he knew, he saw Chanyeol's body begin to shift on the bed. Alerted, Baekhyun sits up automatically, his eyes act as lazers as he watches Chanyeol's eyes slowly begin to flutter. 

His eyes land on Baekhyun's pair, confusion and hesitance evident in his dark orbs. It seems like he is checking if there is someone actually sitting on that chair, if his eyes aren't deciving him. Baekhyun has no idea what to say, or how he should say it, but as always, Chanyeol does the speaking first. “Oh, not again!” His outburst surprises the other boy, making him scoot back into his chair instinctivly. “Not this accursed dream again! Just go away, why do you like to mock me?”

This makes Baekhyun gulp, his chest sweating. Chanyeol has had dreams like this? It only makes him feel worse than before, when he was already blaming himself for this misfortune.

“Chanyeol... this isn't a dream.”

The man on the bed squints his eyes at him, unbeleiving. “The real Baekhyun doesn't want to see me. Why would he be in my room?” He crosses his hands over his chest, making him realize that seeing Chanyeol without a smile is like seeing half of the yin and yang– incomplete. 

And just by those 15 words, his heart enflames with something bitter and disgusting. It is as if he is in the depths of the ocean, his mind clouding as his chest encloses in on him by the second. “Because he's a horrible person, and he wants to make it up to you.”

The silence commences as of now, making the moment seem like a staring contest. Not one that involves keeping your eye lids opened longer than the other, but one that keeps you going until your stomach feels queazy and you want to throw up. 

“So is that it? Do you see me as some sort of... figurine that you can toy with whenever you want?” His words strike him hard, charging a sword into his already suffering soul. 

His eyes are shaking as he speaks, “I...I don't...”

“I'm not just someone you can choose to talk to for one second and throw away the next. I don't want to be apart of that game, Baekhyun. I don't, and I won't.” He wants to be treated as an equal, and of course, Baekhyun should have seen that coming. Who is he to just choose to walk away and return as he wishes? And boy does he know that he isn't a king, so this all blowing in his face is what he deserves, he concludes. 

Maybe euphoria isn't written in his fate.

“Y-Your right, I-I...” He pauses for a moment and tries to keep himself from crashing down, he holds the peices of his heart together before they can brake. It will slowly decay out in the streets, so he'll just have to wait. “D-Don't know what I was thinking.” 

He stands up and begins to walk towards the door that will seperate him and Chanyeol for eternity. His steps become heavier and heavier and by the time he reaches the threshold, a stream of voices quickly bombard his soul.

Because you are worth living. You deserve to be happy. 

You have to believe in yourself.

Set yourself free, fly.

Don't let anyone stand in your way, especially yourself.

Yourself.

Believe in yourself! I have always believed in you, Baekhyun. Always.

The voice haults him right at the door, making him shake his head with his eyes tightly shut. He knows that it was Chanyeol's voice that helped him through that hell of a moment, he knows it was Chanyeol who gave him strength in all moments of agony, he knows it is Chanyeol his heart belongs to. And it certainly will not be an option for him to give up his strength again.

“No.” His voice resonates throughout the silent room, turning on his heels to drill his eyes into the man. Though instead of speaking any further, he walks back to the nightstand and picks up the bowl of soup, sitting it on his lap as he sits back down on the chair. “It is my turn to not give up. I won't give up on you Chanyeol. And if you don't like me, then so be it. I won't leave either way.” 

Baekhyun picks the spoon up and points it at him, waiting for an entrance to his mouth. Chanyeol on the other side is completely stunned at the words that have escaped Baekhyun's lips. He blinks a few times before complying and taking in the warm liquid, and a few more sips later, Chanyeol may have finally composed himself. 

“You know, that is all I've ever wanted to hear.” The way he says it is rhaspy and sore, but it softens up his heart, helping it slow it's racing pace.

And Baekhyun knows he can, no, he knows he will stay. 

__________________________________

Days and days pass by as Chanyeol and Baekhyun become accustomed with one anothers air. However, this aura is much more different than how it used to be when they originally were together. It was a so close to comfort and their souls connected in a heartbeat, litteraly like soul mates. Chanyeol made him feel free, everything with him always felt like they were on seventh heaven, no where near this horrible ground they walk on. It was actually euphoric, even in such dark times that contsantly rested on his shoulders. 

Now, however, they have become so distant even when they're sitting right besides each other on the couch. They're together, yes, but the spark as you may call it, has dispeirced into nothingness.

 “I can walk by myself, it's alright.” Chanyeol tries to relieve Baekhyun from continously holding onto his bicep just in case he falls, but no matter how persistant he is, Baekhyun won't listen. 

“You'll still be limping.”

“But I won't die.” Sighing at this useless arguement, Baekhyun drops the others hand and walks at Chanyeols pace by his side instead.

The walk back from school is long and tiring, but the slaps of fresh air against their faces makes up for it. School, on the other hand, was not as Chanyeol had expected it. Just a few months ago the boy walking besides him used to face no academic challenges, now however, he is nonchalant about reciving a 62 percent. The score is even lower than Chanyeol's own score when he used to be struggling in academics himself. 

“Do you not like school anymore?” Chanyeol's question comes out of the blue, it dosen't perplex Baekhyun though, for he has an answer right