June 15, 1999

Seung Ho was in his depressed state again. There was this empty void inside him that he couldn’t erase. It was a recurring pain that never seemed to end. He felt lonely.

Whenever he sees Ji Sung and Krystal together, it disturbs him. He couldn’t figure out what it was but he kept finding something wrong with the image. Then a knock came on his door. “Come in,” he said, without bothering to see who it was.

I entered Seung Ho’s room holding a tray of food. Ever since he started being depressed, he isolates himself and didn’t eat much anymore. I was beginning to worry. I didn’t have much time left with him so I wanted to take the best care of him with the little time I still had left.

“Hyung? Are you hungry? I brought you some food.”

Seung Ho turned around to see who it was. It was Ji Sung.

“Just put it down.” Ji Sung placed it down before Seung Ho. Ramyun, mee-yuk-gook, rice, and curry. *How does he know I like these food?* Seung Ho thought. 

“Take it away I don’t want it.”

“But hyung, you haven’t eaten for days. Please eat a little bit.”

“I said take it away!” Seung Ho yelled, his anger exploding. He knocked over the tray of food. It ended up spilling all over Ji Sung. Seung Ho and Ji Sung stared at each other. Neither of them knew what to say. Ji Sung leaned over to clean up the spilled food and then left. Seung Ho fell back in his chair. He ran his hands through his hair frustrated. Ji Sung was too much like Ji Yeon that it was driving him crazy. Seung Ho knew he was out of line though, so he began to walk to Ji Sung’s room to apologize.

*What a mess*, I thought as I stripped out of my clothes. I soaked myself in a hot water bath, hoping it could wash away all my troubles. When I was done with my bath, I wrapped myself up in a towel and got out of the tub. Then I heard my room door open and then close.

*Must be Krystal*, I thought as I began to put my clothes on.

Seung Ho entered Ji Sung’s room, not knowing what to say. He wasn’t good at apologizing. He looked around and didn’t see Ji Sung anywhere. Then he heard the sound of water draining. He figured Ji Sung must be in the bathroom. Seung Ho opened the door slightly and saw Ji Sung’s . He shuts the door quietly and began to leave. He planned to apologize later but he suddenly realized what he had just seen. Ji Sung’s back had an ‘Y’ on it! Seung Ho breaks open the door to the bathroom.

I was buttoning up my long sleeve shirt when my door suddenly opened. I stared at Seung Ho in shock but then remembered I wasn’t completely dressed yet. I buttoned up the remaining buttons and then faced him.

“Hyung!” I said surprised. 

“What are you doing here?” I caught Seung Ho looking down at my shirt. I had buttoned it all wrong and a great deal of my body was showing. Oh hell, I thought.

“Hyung, I can explain...“ I began to tell him but I never had a chance to.

Seung Ho stared at Ji Sung’s exposed body. Without thinking, he ripped open Ji Sung’s shirt finding that Ji Sung was indeed a woman. Ji Sung stood still, stunned at what Seung Ho had just did. He turned Ji Sung’s back to him. There it was. His ‘Y.’

“Ji...Ji Yeon?” he asked uncertainly, afraid of being too hopeful.

I didn’t know what I was more embarrassed from. Letting Seung Ho expose me or being caught. In all my life I had never been angry at Seung Ho but I didn’t know why I reacted impulsively. As I held my shirt together, I slapped Seung Ho across the face hard with my other hand. His head snapped to the side. He held his cheeks as he turned to face me.

“How could you do this to me Seung Ho?” I asked him screaming. 

“Get out! Get out!” I started to push him out the door.

Seung Ho was in shock. Ji Yeon, he thought. He grabbed her arms as she pushed him out. “Ji Yeon, don’t! Is it really you?”

I glared at him. As if he knew, Seung Ho took off his jacket and puts it around my shoulders. I zipped it up, covering myself. 

“Yes Seung Ho, it is me Ji Yeon.”

“But I thought you were dead.”

“I didn’t die. I faked my death.” 

“Why?”

“So I could come to Korea.”

“You came all the way from Hawaii to find me? Why didn’t you just tell me who you are?”

Seung Ho looked at Ji Yeon, who had tears streaming from her eyes. He was about to brush them off for her but Ji Yeon pushed his hand away.

“That’s the only way I could do to be with you. Join SechsKies.” Seung Ho stared at Ji Yeon as she continued talking. 

“After you left me all alone in Hawaii, my life became so miserable. Not because of my stepmom, but because of you. I finally found a way to leave Hawaii to find you. I was so happy when I thought about how I could see you again. I thought...“ Seung Ho began to feel a rush of mixed emotions. Ji Yeon’s words made him sad but seeing her alive in front of him made him want to hold onto her and never let go. He paused to let her continue.

"...I thought that we could be together like we were... Oppa and dongsaeng in Hawaii. But obviously, I was wrong. You had all those girls around you that you’ve completely forgotten about me.”

Seung Ho felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. Each one of Ji Yeon’s words stabbed him like a knife. “Ji Yeon, you don’t understand. I...“ Ji Yeon didn’t wait for his explanation and ran. Seung Ho chased after her.

“Ji Yeon!” he yelled as he chased after her out of the hotel. 

“Hyung,” said Hyun Woo as he saw Seung Ho ran by him. Seung Ho pushed him out of the way. Krystal ran up to the Sechskies leaders. 

“What happened?” Hyun Woo shrugged his shoulders. 

“I don’t know. Seung Ho was chasing Ji Sung and kept screaming Ji Yeon.” Krystal stumbled and Min Ho caught her. 

*Oh no, poor Ji Yeon,* she thought. She turned around to see Min Ho looking at her sadly. Krystal moved close to him and held onto him tight. Neither of them lets go.

---> to be continued...