October 31, 1993

"You better come back here! You good for nothing brat!” I covered my ears with my palms. That was my stepmother calling me. Her voice sounded murderous and I didn’t want to face her today. She had slapped and hit me too much already. I’m afraid I can’t take it anymore so I hid in my closet. I peeked through the crack in my closet and saw my stepmom with a really pissed off look on her face. She was holding that stick that I’m always afraid of. I winced as I thought about how much it would hurt if she hits me with it again.

I’m just thirteen and whoever said 13 was an unlucky number were probably right. My mom had died when I was just turning ten. Before she died, she told me that I was the most beautiful girl in the world and how proud she was to be my mother. She said even though she’ll be gone, her love will always remain with me. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

*If you love me mommy, how can you be so selfish to leave me?* When I turned 13, my dad remarried Mok Young A, who became my stepmom. She was a cold-hearted woman who tortured me all day. Any self-esteem I had for myself was shattered and I was living a nightmare. My closet door suddenly opened.

“There you are! You wicked girl!” My stepmom started cussing at me as she pulled me out of the closet and threw me onto the floor. I began to tremble because I knew what was going to happen next.

'Whack whack whack.'

I cried out in pain but I knew no one is going to hear my cries. I desperately began to gasp for air. My heart was aching again. I couldn’t breathe.

“Not again! Can’t you see how much you’re costing your father and me with your heart problems? If it wasn’t for all these medical bills we wouldn’t be so poor now!” I had this heart condition where air would suddenly shut off and I wouldn’t ne able to breathe. The doctors saved me by giving me a respirator and pills, but they’re not sure how much longer I’ll be able to live. My dad (who was a pathetic excuse for a man) came in. He looked down at me with sorrowful eyes.

He held my stepmom’s arm lightly and said, “I think she had enough. You don’t want her to have another attack. Calm down and let’s have dinner.”

“That’s why I’m hitting her!” she yelled.

“She got detention and stayed back after school for an hour. She was supposed to be home to buy food to prepare for dinner. Your daughter is so evil. She wants me to starve or something!”

“I didn’t get detention. The teacher wanted to talk to me about...“ I was cut off by the whack of my stepmom’s stick. I cried silently in pain and turned away. I didn’t want to look at her.

My dad said, “Well, dinner’s just going to be a little late today. Ji Yeon, say sorry to your mom.”

Despite the pain, I managed to say, “Sorry mom. Please forgive me.” My dad handed me some money.

“Here. Go buy food to make mee-yuk-gook for tonight.” My stepmom’s temper simmered down a little as my dad lead her out of my room.

I picked up the money and headed for the store. Mr. Choi, the owner of Choi Food Market shook his head as I walked in. He knew what kind of hell I was going through. I finished my shopping and checked out.

“That’ll be $3.49.”

“What?” I asked.

“Umm... Mr. Choi. That’s impossible. With all this stuff it should be around $15.”

“I know Ji Yeon.” Mr. Choi gave me a sad smile.

“The exact price is $14.32. Why don’t you keep the change for yourself?” I opened my mouth in shock.

“Mr. Choi… I.. I can’t do that,” I said as I handed him $20. He only took five.

“No. Keep it. I know that stepmom of yours don’t give you any money.” I looked up at Mr. Choi with tears in my eyes. Here he is, just a friend reaching out to me when I am suffering. I said thanks and headed for home.

---> to be continued...