I was confused and didn’t know what had happened. Seung Ho held my hand and took me to the beach near his house. On the sand there were 2 huge rocks. Seung Ho led me there. He lifted me up onto one of the rock and we sat side by side. We remained silent until Seung Ho took a deep breath of the ocean air.

“I love this place, don’t you?” he said to me smiling. I returned his smile and held onto his hand tighter.

“Seung Ho, what’s wrong?” Seung Ho avoided my eyes.

“Nothing.” I turned his chin to face me.

“Come on, you know you can tell me.” He nodded.

“It’s my dad and this stupid feud he has with my uncle. They’re fighting over who will get the larger part in my grandpa’s will.”

“Oh...” I said softly.

“Isn’t it stupid?” he asked laughing.

“My grandpa’s not even dead yet!” I understood what was bothering him. Hence, I didn’t say anything because I know he doesn’t want me to worry about it. He threw a stone into the ocean and it skipped three times. “Perfect,” he said.

“Why is it perfect?” I asked.

“Age ain’t nothing but a number right?” he asked me, changing the subject in the process. I thought about it for a while and nodded.

“Since I’m older than you by two years, that makes me your oppa,” Seung Ho said to me.

“Yup,” I answered, smiling. Seung Ho smiled back.

“I love you....” I felt my heart filled with a bubble of love but then Seung Ho continued...

”As a dongsaeng.” My bubble bursted. This was not what I had expected him to say. I stared at Seung Ho with wide eyes. I knew it was pretty straightforward of me but I had to ask.

“Y…your….dongsaeng?” I managed to stutter out. Seung Ho looked back at me with his puppyish eyes and smiled. He nodded his head gently. Have I been reading all his signs wrongly?

“So what do you say?” he asked. “Want to be my dongsaeng?” Even though it was breaking my heart, I had no choice but to agree. I nodded.

“Yes, I want to be your dongsaeng, oppa.”

“Good,” he said.

Seung Ho nodded and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a small silver knife. I stared at him with wide eyes.

“Seung Ho, what are you going to do with that knife?”

He asked, “Do you trust me Ji Yeon?”

I nodded my head without hesitation. I trusted Seung Ho with my whole heart. He smiled at me.

“Good. Lower the back of your shirt.” Seung Ho pulled the back of my shirt down. Then he used that knife to cut me.

“Ow!” I screamed in pain but he continued anyways. He carved a small ‘Y’ onto my shoulder blade. My back was bleeding and he bandaged it for me. Then he handed the knife to me.

“Here. Engrave your initial ‘J’ too because I don’t want to use the same last name as your mom.” My hand trembled as I held the knife. I didn’t want to hurt Seung Ho.

“Go ahead. Don’t worry, I can stand the pain.”

I engraved an ‘J’ onto Seung Ho’s back. I was surprised because he didn’t let a tear drop or cry out in pain. I bandaged him and he acted as if nothing had happen. When it was over, he held me close. I held onto Seung Ho tightly as if he was going to leave me. I know he only thinks of me as his little dongsaeng but it felt nice holding onto him like this.

As Seung Ho held Ji Yeon, his smiles turned into sadness instantly.  He wanted to say ‘Ji Yeon, I love you as a girlfriend’ so she would be his forever but he couldn’t.

He wasn’t the type to admit his feelings. So he figured the scarring was not an engravement of his brotherly love to Ji Yeon, but his promised symbol as a soulmate to her forever…

---> to be continued...