I'VE BEEN GONE A LITTLE WHILE GUYS BUT I'M BACK WITH A NEW CHAPTER!!

I tiredly reached for my phone beside me on my bed. I pressed the home button, and damn it if that mother ing bright screen didn’t temporarily blind me. It was 3 in the morning and my stupid phone had just bing-bonged me awake. I swiped my thumb down the screen to look at the drop down menu, “Random V has just uploaded a new video,” I squinted as I read the YouTube notification out loud. 

My eyes popped open, “What?” I screeched. I was instantly awake. I tapped on the notification and watched in excitement as my YouTube app opened. “3AM on the Rooftop,” I groggily read the title, “Wow, that’s how you do V? You’re just gonna drop this in the middle of the night? I have class in the morning!” Despite my complaints, I tapped on the video and turned my phone the long way for landscape view and waited for the video to play.

It was Tae, all bundled up in a blanket, outside on his rooftop. He looked tired and stressed, not at all like his normal happy self. “Annyeong,” he cutely greeted through a yawn, “I’m outside on my rooftop filming this video with my phone camera and a selca stick. Top of the line technology, I know.” I giggled at his sarcasm as he reached forward and switched the camera off selfie mode, “Wah look at this view, isn’t it beautiful?” he asked panning the camera across for me to see the distant city lights.

“And how about the sky?” he queried as he moved his camera up to reveal the bluish-blackish night sky, the stars seemed to twinkle extra brightly wherever he was. He flipped back to selfie mode, “I like coming up here around this time when I can’t sleep and have a lot on my mind,” he told me as he rubbed his eyes. “Aww, what’s wrong?” I asked him (like he could hear me).

V sighed and pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders, the chilly fall air was probably getting to him. “My parents are coming to visit us tomorrow,” he said sullenly. I shrugged, “What’s so bad about that?” “Most people would be happy about seeing their parents and somewhere inside me I am, but my mom and dad aren’t very accepting of my relationship with Jung Kook,” he informed me, his voice sounded extra deep tonight.

I frowned as he continued, I had a feeling I was not going to like this video very much. 

“Of course they know about us, I told them way back when he and I first started dating in high school, but they can only bring themselves to call him my roommate,” he said. He was trying to keep a blank face but I could see right through it, I could see the pain. “What’s even worse is that they genuinely like him as a person. They think he’s a good kid, but they still can’t accept us,” he seemed so distressed.  

“Well that ing ,” I grumbled angrily, “they ing .” 

“I think on some level they’ve always known and have always kind of resented me for it. I know they don’t hate me, but I think they just can’t stand this particular aspect of my life…which means they don’t fully like me. They refuse to acknowledge the fact that I have a boyfriend, my love life is nonexistent to them,” he confided as he hunched forward a little. 

“They really ing ,” I added again, this time with a shake of my head. 

“It used to hurt me, especially when I was in middle school…I pretty much spent all of my time at Jimin’s house because I didn’t like being around them, but as I got older I learned to accept it,” he chuckled a little and shook his head, “That sounds so silly, I’ve learned to accept their unacceptance of me. I’m tolerant of my own parents intolerance.” I shook my head too, I felt so bad for Taehyung. 

“I know you’re all probably hating my parents right now, but please don’t. Despite them disliking my preferences, they’re good parents. They gave me money when I needed it, supported all of my after school clubs, celebrated all my birthdays, told me they loved me every day, it’s just this one part of my life they refuse to acknowledge. I remember when I was about 8 and they found out about me kissing my childhood boy crush Danny, they lectured me and told me that I should never have romantic feelings for boys…they said it was unnatural and that men were built to love women. You know, for a long time, I believed them and I thought something was wrong with me. I wanted so badly to be normal, but I was just never attracted to girls,” he sighed and ran fingers through his messy bangs.

I would find that very attractive if he weren’t in such a sulky mood.

“I didn’t really start believing it was OK for me to like boys until Jimin helped me understand it. Freshman year of high school, every time we had a sleepover all we did was talk, and play video games, and eat junk food,” V smiled fondly as he reminisced about his high school days with his bestie. I couldn’t help but smile too, it was so very cute. If he didn’t have Jung Kook, I’m sure he would have Jimin instead. 

“I remember the one thing he said that got me, word for word he said, ‘Love is love Taehyungie. It’s a very natural human emotion, so how can it be wrong? How can it be wrong for you to love someone?’ it was then that all the other pieces fell into place for me,” he laughed a little at that, it was a happy memory for him. If I didn’t already love Jimin I would’ve fallen for him completely now. That man was an angel sent from above, “Bless you Jimin, you’re such a beautiful human being,” I praised to him and the heavens.

“After that day, I realized how much my parents had warped my way of thinking because of their intolerance, but at that point I didn’t care how they felt anymore. I was finally happy and secure with who I was and I was going to live my life the way I wanted to. I felt like a new person and I couldn’t wait to show everyone the real me. If my parents refused to accept me then that was their problem, not mine,” Tae shrugged and stared at me for a second before he frowned, 

“I can’t say I feel the same now though, because their indifference affects someone else now, too. It hurts Jung Kookie to know that my mom and dad can only see him as the friend I’m living with. They make him feel like he isn’t right for me because he’s not a woman. So whenever they decide to drop by, he does his best to keep busy so he won’t have to be around them. They make our home life uncomfortable for my boyfriend; because no matter how pleasant and social they are with him he knows how they really feel about his significance in my life. That stresses me out so much to see and, not only does he basically disappear, he also doesn’t like for us to sleep together. It doesn’t matter that my parents usually stay in a hotel, he always feels like they can see us snuggling with a look of disapproval. Jung Kookie literally turns into a roommate when they come and I can’t stand it.” 

And now we’re back to his parents majorly! Jung Kookie can’t even display his love properly around them because he knows they don’t approve. I know Tae loves his parents, but they seem to be awful people to me. How can they not fully accept their own child? He hasn’t done anything wrong or detrimental, he’s just trying love freely and if his mom and dad refuse to see that then that makes them bad parents.

Taehyung sighed again, “But what can I do?” he asked, “I could talk try to convince them to accept me and us until I completely run out of oxygen, but I can’t change their minds unless they're open to having them changed. What can I do?” “RUB YOUR GAY LOVE IN YOUR HATEFUL PARENTS FACES!” I yelled with an adamant shake of my fist. I quickly slapped a hand over my mouth and pray that my prissy roommate didn’t come knocking on my door. 

“I guess I’ll just have to do my best to convince my Jung Kookie that he doesn’t have to distance himself whenever they come around. He doesn’t need their approval to love me, just like they don’t need my approval to hate us. They can feel how they feel…no matter how wrong…and we can feel how we feel. We just need to agree to disagree and that should be OK, right?” he asked looking directly at me, his dark eyes filled with confusion and worry. “Wrong,” I answered pointing at his face. I watched him lay back on the dirty shingles and pull the blanket over his chest. 

He extended his selfie stick high above his head, “But what would happen if we decided to get married? Or have kids? Would they remain unaccepting and continue to ignore our relationship? Even with a family? Would they ignore their own grandchildren because they would be products of gay parents?” he squeezed his eyes shut and covered his face with his free hand. 

I bolted upright in my bed. Was he crying? “No baby don’t cry!” I whispered harshly trying to keep my own tears from falling. He laughed a little and wiped his few tears away, “I’m sorry,” he muttered before sniffling, “These tears just came out of nowhere, but I think I just broke my own heart. I just thought about our future kids not receiving any love from their grandparents.” He shook his head and sat up again, “I don’t want that to happen guys. It scares me to think that it could,” his pretty face was red from a mixture of his crying and the cold air, “I guess I can’t just ignore the problem can I?”

He closed his eyes and released the deepest of sighs, “I really need to stop coming out here so late, I do way too much thinking,” he said through a forced laugh. He checked the time on his watch, “It 3:15, I guess I should go to bed and cuddle with my Jung Kookie one more time before my parents come and he makes me sleep on the stupid couch,” he griped, his cute face showing his supreme distaste of the idea. He smiled at me again, “I’m sorry for baring my soul to you so late in the night, but I appreciate you for listening,” he said rising to his feet and hugging his thick blanket close. 

“Tae-baby, I’ll always be here to listen,” I promised him (not like he could hear me). He winked and nodded, “Until next time, my pretty people, ciao,” he said before ending his recording. 

Well I guess sleep was out of the question now…I was gonna be up all night thinking about my Tae having to sleep apart from his boyfriend because his parents are low-key bigots. He’s always so happy in his videos, I had no idea he had those sorts of problem. I didn’t know his life wasn’t all sunshine, rainbows, boy love, and cute friends; I’ve been enlightened that even the cheeriest of people have troubles as well. I shook my head as I tossed my phone on my desk, “Life man,” I chuckled out in disbelief. I really hope he’ll be able to get his parents to come around one day, he and Kookie deserve to be happy just like everyone else. 

SAD CHAPTER I KNOW...