More Confused Feelings

Looking For The Right One (BTS Fanfiction)

(Rap Monster's POV)

The bright rays of the morning sun hit my face. I opened my tired eyes and I was blinded. I forced my lazy body to shut the curtains from which the light leaked. My room became slightly darker, that's just the way I like it. I was becoming comfortable in my own bed again. The soft pillow hugged my head and the covers swallowed my body.

Rap Monster: Aish. Why can't I have more time?

I have to get the other members up and going so we can visit Jungkook at the hospital. Speaking of other members, is Suga here? He left without telling me his possible where abouts. I actually feel really bad about my slight altercation with him. I smacked him so hard I gave him a bloody nose... But I guess Suga was right, why try and mess with V's love life by helping him find girls? Because in reality, V's heart belongs to Jungkook. He just doesn't remember.

I stretched my body as I somehow sat up. I removed the covers from my body and I pushed them to the side. I took a huge yawn then I slowly walked to the bathroom. I entered the bathroom and I dragged myself to the toilet. I put up the toilet seat so I could take a piss. I took out my length and I began to relieve myself.

Rap Monster: Ahhh. This feels amazing. The morning piss is the best piss, unless you have morning wood that is...

Here I am talking to myself again. Hurry up and piss Rap Monster.

After a few minutes, I finished up and I washed my hands. I walked out of bathroom and back into my room. I searched for some decent clothes and I walked out of my room, into the living room. I looked around, but I didn't see any of the members up. I guess we all had a long stressful night.

I walked into Jin and Jimin's room. Jin was asleep with his face in the pillow and his stomach facing the bed. Jimin, was asleep with his mouth and legs wide open. The younger boy was snoring loudly. How do you deal with such loud snoring Jin?

I clapped my hands loudly to get the tired boys up. Jin didn't move much, he just groaned and flipped me off. The uneffected Jimin was motionless.

Rap Monster: You guys better be up and ready by the time I'm out of the shower!

Jin: Okaaay... Shut the up and go take your shower Namjoon, we all know you e in the shower, so we don't even have to get up right now. You take too long!

Jin make made jerking motions with his hand indicating a smart remark, I wasn't offended because he was right, but I was annoyed.

Rap Monster: Aish... I don't take that long to shower you !

I flipped off the grumpy Jin as I exited their room. I slowly made my way over Suga and J-Hope's room. Upon my entry, I noticed that a sleeping J-Hope was laying on top of a sleeping Suga. How Suga deals with J-Hope's touchy side, I have no idea. I'm also very glad that Suga is here too... He must have walked in the dorm when everyone was asleep, because I don't remember seeing him after he left...

I clapped the same way I did for Jin and Jimin. Loud and quick. J-Hope raised his head in shock and Suga groaned.

Rap Monster: I need you two to be read--

Suga: Oh my gosh Hoseok!

J-Hope: W-What Yoongi!?

Suga: You have morning wood! Get off of me!

Suga violently pushed the startled J-Hope off of him. J-Hope covered his crotch with his hands as he rolled off the bed. We all heard the sound of J-Hope's body roughly hit the ground.

J-Hope: W-Whaaaa!

Suga: Hoseok, I don't want to feel your on my , or on any part of my body, ever again.

J-Hope: I'm s-sorry Yoongi! I can't help that I have that!

Suga: Aish!

Things got kind of awkward, so I left their room. I finally progressed over to V and Jungkook's room. I entered the dark room to find V just waking up. He adverted his attention to me as he saw me standing in the doorway.

V: A-Are we going to visit Jeongguk?

Rap Monster: Yeah. That's why I'm up right now.

V: Okay...

Rap Monster: I'm going to be taking a shower, so please be ready by the time I get out...

V: O-Okay Namjoon...

Poor V already has Jungkook on his mind. I couldn't blame him of course, he has so many things going on, and he's probably thinking about all the things he needs to tell the maknae.

I walked out of his room and I quickly made it to mine. I shut my door and I grabbed my phone before walking into my bathroom. I set down my clothes I had been holding, on the sink. I the hot water and I waited for the bathroom to get steamy.

As I waited, I decided to call my sweet girlfriend Taeyeon. I need her to set up V on some dates with her friends. After the phone rang a few times, she picked up.

Taeyeon: Good morning Namjoonie.

Rap Monster: Hai babe.

Taeyeon: What are you doing up so early? You miss me?

Rap Monster: I'm getting ready to go the hospital... And yes, I miss you so much. You're always busy working with the girls...

Taeyeon: Well, what can I tell you? We're both idols, and Soo Man is a busy man, so I'm a busy idol. Girls' Generation can't function without me. And why are you going to the hospital!? Are you okay?

Rap Monster: Yeah, and Jeongguk got hit by a car...

Taeyeon: Oh my! Is he okay?

Rap Monster: Yeah, he's hanging in there... With two broken ribs.

Taeyeon: Aww... Poor maknae. Things are always happening to you boys. You and Taehyung, now Jeongguk?

Rap Monster: Yeah. Hey babe, I got a favor to ask of you...

Taeyeon: Yeah? What is it?

Rap Monster: So, Taehyung and I was having a talk last night--

Taeyeon: Don't tell me you talked to him about !

Rap Monster: No! Just let me finish. Anyways, so we talked and I told Taehyung I would help him get a girl... Now--

Taeyeon: Ahh, trying again I see... So you want me to find one of my friends, and set her and Taehyung up, on a date, to see if they'd work?

Rap Monster: Y-Yeah babe.

Taeyeon: Hmmmm... I have a few friends in mind. How about we start with Nicole?

Rap Monster: Nicole Jung? Your friend from the United States?

Taeyeon: Yes, Nicole is an easy going woman who doesn't ask for much. She's hardworking and is looking for a guy who is caring, but also has charm.

Rap Monster: Ahh. Okay. I guess Taehyung fits that description...

Taeyeon: Yeah! So, when do you want me to set up the date?

Rap Monster: Is later tonight okay?

Taeyeon: Yeah! Nicole isn't busy, so I'm sure she has time on her hands.

Rap Monster: Where will the date take place?

Taeyeon: I don't know... I'll text or call you later okay?

Rap Monster: Okay. I love you babe.

Taeyeon: I love you too.

Taeyeon ended the call before I could. Hearing her sweet voice made my heart dance. I really wish I could have more time with her, soon maybe? I placed my phone on top of my clothes and I stripped out of my boxers. The steam of the hot shower placed a coat of damp relaxation over my body.

I stepped in the hot shower and I began to wash my body.

(V's POV)

I walked out of my room sobbing, but dressed and ready to see Jungkook. I made my way over to the living room and I sat on the couch. I could taste the bitterness in my tears as they managed to slip in between my lips.

Jungkook, are you okay? What am I going to say to you? I don't want to break your heart. Do you already know I don't feel the same way? Will you be mad at me? Will our friendship crumble?

I was sobbing about Jungkook for a solid ten minutes until my hyung, J-Hope, wrapped me up in his embrace. He wiped my bitter tears away using his clean shirt.

J-Hope: Are you worried about Jeongguk?

V: Y-Yes!

J-Hope: Aww... You know, if you two are truly best friends, you two will be happy for each other no matter what!

J-Hope gave me his famous smile of hope as I slowly stopped shedding tears. J-Hope made me feel better about Jungkook, but I'm still worried for him.

The others walked into the living room all dressed up but confused by the remaining tears rolling down my cheeks.

Jin: Hoseok, he's crying over you now?

Jimin: What's wrong with Taehyung?

Suga: Please don't tell me you made him cry, I will kick your .

J-Hope: Woah, woah, woah, guys! He's just stressed out about Jeongguk!

Jin: Oh, well, it's too early in the morning to be sobbing about our maknae, save that for when we get to the hospital.

Suga: Let Taehyung cry if he wants to. It's better that he let it out now, than later...

The boys kept talking about me until Rap Monster walked into the room, or should I say a new man. He was dressed nicely with a strong hint of cologne trailing him. Jimin covered his face with his shirt in a responce such strong amounts of cologne.

Jimin: Aish! Tone it down Namjoon! You smell like !

Suga: We're not going to pick up girls!

Jin & Jimin: Can someone please crack a window!?

J-Hope: Leave the leader alone! He might smell too good, but the cologne will fade eventually.

Rap Monster: Aish! You guys tone it down if you can't handle my !

Jimin: But we don't have anything to tone down!

Things became silent as everyone looked at Jimin. Jimin scratched the back of his head in confusion and that's when Rap Monster stepped closer to him.

Rap Monster: Jimin, tone down your terrible jams, we know you ain't got jams.

Jimin: Whatever Namjoon...

Rap Monster: Suga, tone down your swag, if you have too much, you'll end up like Justin Bieber.

Suga: But Justin Bieber ......

Rap Monster: Exactly. Now, Jin. Tone down your pink, you'll make us go color blind.

Jin: What!?!?

Rap Monster: Taehyung, I can see that you've been crying! Tone down your tears! No need to worry about Jeongguk! He's fine!

Everyone glared at Rap Monster as I started to cry again. J-Hope gave me a hug of comfort as the others scolded Rap Monster. I refuse to believe that my best friend is fine, the pain between us both, is only going to get worse.

(Jungkook's POV)

It was early in the morning and I struggled to breathe. My chest felt tight as if something was pressing it's weight down on me. My messy covers were hanging off the bed. My pillow flattened by the stress of my skull. And my hair was out of place, murdered by my body movements from the night.

I was nauseous and confused. I was feeling worse than yesterday, and I seriously knew there was something wrong. Perhaps my injury wasn't treated correctly, and more internal bleeding was left.

I looked at the heart monitor, it's neon display of symbols told me my heart beat was slow, unusually slow, no, dangerously slow.

I tried to reach for the emergency button, but I stopped as soon as I heard footsteps. I stopped thinking a nurse was here to check on me, I could just tell the nurse that I'm having trouble breathing and everything will be okay. But no.

These were the footsteps of my unprofessional friends. They entered my room quietly just to make sure they wouldn't wake me up if I was sleeping. If I was asleep, I'd be too drugged up, to wake up.

Rap Monster and V were the first ones to walk over to my bedside. The others kept their distance.

Jungkook: Hey everyone...

Rap Monster: Hello Jeongguk. How are you feeling?

Jungkook: I'm not well...

Rap Monster: Hmm... Well, we won't stay long then.

Jungkook: That's okay, you guys can stay...

Rap Monster: Are you sure? You look very pale...

As Rap Monster examined my weak face, I managed to pull him closer to me, I was enticed by his cologne. Rap Monster smelled and I managed to breathe in this sinful fume. But at the same time, I looked as if I was trying to get intimate with the leader. He rejected my grip and pulled away in a blushing confusion.

Rap Monster: Yah!

Jungkook: I'm sure... And you smell really good.

Rap Monster: Yeah, uhh, thanks... Do you need us to get a nurse?

Rap Monster quickly shook off the awkward moment and immediately became concerned with my condition.

Jungkook: Yes, but before you do that, let Taehyung and I talk...

Rap Monster: Okay...

Rap Monster stepped away and allowed V to be closer to me. V looked into my with such sadness and worry that I started to cry.

V: J-Jeongguk! You're crying... Don't be sad. I know you're hurting but just hang in there.

V pulled me into an embrace that was like no other. I could hear his fast heartbeat and unsteady breaths as he leaned into my chest. I managed to hold his hand, but he quickly let go.

Jungkook: I love you Taehyung...

I could feel V's heartbeat speed up as I said that into his ear.

V: I don't...

His heartbeat was banging loudly, I could feel him crying in pain on the inside.

Jungkook: ...........

V: I've been so blind to ignore how you really felt about me. I just don't feel the same way, and I can't see myself having a boyfriend. I thought we were just close friends, but now I can clearly see that you love me more than that.

Jungkook: ..................

V: I'm sorry...

Jungkook: I've loved you since we first met, and I didn't want too, but you were something different, so I couldn't help it. It's okay that you don't feel the same way about me, it's okay if you're looking for a girl to push aside your feelings for me, it's okay because you're lonely. I can understand your curiosity with love, because everyone wants it... Well, good luck looking for the right one, Taehyung. I just want you to be happy, that's all.

I was choking on a need for air after my speech. Something inside me was making me struggle. And I could no longer breathe.

V broke our embrace and he stepped away from me, tears rolled down his regretful face as he couldn't believe what he had just done. The others were shocked at the heart breaking reality of what just happened.

But then I couldn't. The heart monitor made blaring noises and then the guys rushed over to me like I was about to die.

V: G-Guys, I can't be here...

V stormed out of the room crying and the guys were yelling back and forth to each other but I couldn't hear them now. My sight blurred and I was eventually swallowed up by a darkness...

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Taekookie2120 #1
Chapter 22: Chapter 22: sooo sad T_T why taekook
why Namjoon....just why

Ps nice story author nim
Ikakuo
#2
Chapter 1: She didn't have a ! ....okay sorry I couldn't help it xD this is interesting tho
RapmonsLilMonster #3
Chapter 22: I turned into a waterfall in just an hour and a half.
Thelollipoptaesucks #4
WHAT THE HECK YOU JUST PUT MY TWO UN'S (SUNNY AND TAE TAE) IN ONE FANFICTION I DON'T KNOW YOU BUT HOLY I LOVE YOU!
Palris #5
Chapter 23: Damnit!! Read it all at one-go and shed a bucket of tears. So sad for taekook
EXOGeneration129 #6
Chapter 23: Wahhh, this is really sad, I actually cried! Like there was a lot standing in their way: V's amnesia, Namjoon, and now V's illness! Such a sad ending. . . thank you though authornim for this wonderful story, you made me cry; this made me ship VKook even more!!
Caramel_lover369 #7
Chapter 22: They both....they both have it......at least they'll be together....in heaven....special chappie od them reuniting please>_<
kulitlang08 #8
Chapter 23: this is really sad!!! a very tragic ending for both of them...they really love each other!!! my heart!!! :'( they love each other unti the end!!!
kulitlang08 #9
Chapter 21: my heart!!!!! this is just!!!! i am so sad!!! damn AIDS...why????!!!!