I knew it, but that doesn't ease the pain. I mean not that he was dating a top model with the shiniest hair I haven't seen. Even if she wasn't dating him I would have hated her because of her height, perfect body or baby doll's face. I'm ing. She look nice, he does too so together they are perfect, and me  ? I'm just perfect for shadow. God why am I not a freaking ostrich. I don't want to see them being all lovely dovely, it's another kick I take without anyone noticing. When is it going to end, when would I stop being the queen of fools. I waited for them to go before leaving the cafe myself. When I came in class, Bobby was already there but didn't say anything so I guess there wasn't any drama to report.

 The morning seemed even longer than yesterday even if the girls stopped asking my opinion on stupids things. I guess they understood I was a fraud when during the second interclass I told that I didn't like Choi Minho the hottest football player. Not my fault if he is playing for the wrong team, sorry sweetie you can be as handsome as you want but nothing goes before the Blue Dragons for me. My father and I were crazy about this team, I still remember when we were watching the games on tv, it was so much fun and yelling like if they loosed it would have been the end of the world. It wasn't, but with my father gone I didn't feel like watching any game. I was still checking the scores but that was it, even if my heart is blue my mind can't take it, it would have felt so lonely.  

Lunch time, I escaped again to find Dara to the same place 
“We are lucky, the sun make it much better to eat outside 
- Indeed we are lucky.
I must have answered with a big lack of motivation because she looked at me with big worried eyes, she looked like an owl, a cute owl nevertheless. 
- What's wrong, do you feel sick ? 
- I'm fine, a little bit tired, that's all 
- I guess it must be hard on you all this change, with your dad's death and the new family's thing 
Wow, she don't go by three way to say things, usually people don't even mention it by fear of my reaction.
- I don't have that must of a choice 
- I'm sorry if I say it wrong, I didn't mean to hurt you;You seems like a strong girl that's why I... 
- I am strong. It's just that being strong doesn't make it less painful nor real. You don't have to be careful with me, I can take it since I can't deny it 
- For what it's worth, I lost my mom too. I was three so I don't really remember, but I understand what it is to lost someone who was supposed to be here for ever
I could see that it was painful for her to say it. That's true I would have never tough being without him. That's why it felt so unfair. 
- So you live with your father ? 
- And 4 brother, I know it seems hard to live with 5 men but you get used to it 
- I couldn't agree more, I grew up around boys too 
- That's why you're  here instead of eating with the girls 
- Yeah, I'm still working on the girl friend thing 
- You shouldn't be here if you want to be integrated. Once one o