For days i didn't see Jimin that much. We are concentrating on practicing our vocals and raps.

When i first come to BigHit i couldn't sing or rap at all. It seems almost impossible for me to debut, because there were lots of other talented trainees too. But i keep on practicing day and night. With the help of my oppas i finally learn how to rap but i know i should work hard if i want to become successful.

I want to participate on writing my rap parts so i work double hard with our lyricist unnie but none of the things i write is good enough. I can't eat or sleep, till i get this right. I call Namjoon for help and the best words were Yoongi's saying that the lyrics should come from my heart not from my mind. But my heart is as hard as stone right now...

"We should show the dance crew something we're good at." Bomi starts to warm up her body beside Jiyeon who's trying to find a good song to show the dancing crew.

"What about After School's Because Of You?" Hyeri suggests.

"Yeah, It's perfect! We've practiced it not long ago." Jiyeon high fives Hyeri. I begin to review the moves in my mind and then...

"Can't we change..."

The sound of people entering the practice room stops me.

"Are you ready guys?" The main choreographer asks us.

"Ne, we'll start!"

I have no choice but getting ready in my position. I have to keep up my feelings and put on a good show. I peek a look and see Jimin's face in the mirror. Why is he looking at me? He should watch others too...!

The music starts.

***I… still… can’t… get over you

I never forget… boy I never forget… boy

( As the intro starts to play i realise that performing this in front of Jimin is a complete mistake, but there's no other way.)

Don’t know how many years it’s

been since we broke up

But I cry every time when I think about you

Why I’m so eager to see you today?

The sound of rain droplets leaves my heart shaken up

(I have to rap now, don't cry Junhee! Just don't! I walk to the main spot looking into Jimin's eyes as he looking back at me.)

I regret giving you my love,

I regret getting attached to you

I regret holding you back,

why do I have to face the pain alone?

I tried to be your only girl,

but did you ever understand my heart?

Now it became the compass of broken love

(I end my part still looking at Jimin. It's like i'm saying all these things to only him. Things that have been choking me through these years.)

Tears are flowing down and soak my dry lips

What should I do now that I can’t forget you?

(The course isn't my part but i keep on mouthing the lyrics facing Jimin as i dance. Tears are keep on running from my eyes and i can't stop them.)

I cried a lot because of you [every night, I~]

I laughed a lot because of you [because of you]

I believed in love because of you [Wooh boy ~]

Because of you, because of you, I lost everything

I’m speechless, suffocating

and lonely, the world without you has…

You chewed out my heart, stomped on my dignity

Tore apart my heart, so why did you leave me? ***

By the time the song ends my face is full of tears and my body is full of sweat. I keep on staring at Jimin till the end of song. The crew claps for us but i just stand there panting and crying. Their smiles fade away as they see my face.

"Junhee, are you ok?"

"You look so pale!"

"Did you hurt yourself?"

I bow quickly and run out. I keep on running and crying till i reach the rooftop. It's a place that always makes me feel better, whenever i have a hard time or get scolded by the vocal teachers.

But this time even