I looked down at my shoes as I felt her gaze on me. Our usual routine was not occurring today, which created an odd atmosphere in the room because since the day I started the sessions, it was always like this:

I would sit across her and tell her about my grades, school, my worries and my boring daily life. I would never go deep into my personal life or feelings.

But this time, when I sat on that couch, with Ms. Young looking at me, she knew that there was something bothering me, something more than school and grades. She raised one brow looking at me.

"W-What?" I said, looking at my lap again.

She straightened up on her seat and kept looking at me.

"Anything you wish to tell me?"

"W-Why would I want to tell something?" I said, realizing that my voice came out more dense than I thought.

"Well, this is why you come here, remember? To tell me about your problems."

I kept my gaze down as I muttered a "yes" that probably only I could hear and started playing with the ends of my skirt.

I hesitated to tell her or not, clearly because I never opened myself up to her, but after endless gazes boring holes into my head, I finally gave up and decided to tell her.

"The thing is, there's a guy in our class. One that I have a past with."

I collected all the power and said everything in just one breath.

"The story, our thing, it's so long so I won't tell you the whole thing. But mainly, I had a relationship with this guy last summer, when I was in Japan. He disappeared that summer, I have no idea why, but after months,  now he is in Korea, I have no idea how he managed to come here but , even his name is different than what he told me and I'm so freaking confused. He wants to talk to me, but I don’t accept, I mean he can't just show up after months and act like nothing happened before, right?"

I was red because of lack of oxygen in my body so I took a deep breath and looked at her.

"Whoa", she said and looked at me with happy and also shocked eyes. Happy because, I finally opened up to her and shocked, because I did and probably because of my use of language in front of an adult.

"Were you dating?" she asked. With this question, I widened my eyes and then coughed.

"Kind of, I guess," I said. Yes, it was true, he never asked me to be his girlfriend. But it was because we didn't need a name to become closer, we were already attached to each other, so simply giving it a name was useless for us. This was the seen reason, but behind the scenes, I knew that the reason was because we didn't want to be as heartbroken as we would be, separating as girlfriend and b