‘Living Young, Wild and Free’

Yixing cleared his throat, glancing from Yifan’s scowl to Junmyeon’s furrowed brows. It was getting ridiculous really, amusing to an extent yes but absurdly ridiculous nevertheless. They’ve been fighting nonstop the whole night, it started with a simple unthreatening ‘You at cooking get out of my kitchen right now!’—even though it was technically Yixing’s kitchen—to ‘I’ll ing gouge your eyes out with a ing spoon!’ The brunette had his fair share of laughter at the eye-watering competition show they had going on at first, like who wouldn’t enjoy watching two ridiculously hot men fight over them? Yixing certainly did. Well he did until sweet reserved Junmyeon threatened to cut Yifan’s throat open with a Santoku knife, and actually was going to do it for real if it wasn’t for Zitao getting between the two to stop the Korean doctor from committing murder over a burnt tray of soufflé. After a memorable moment of Yifan paling to death by fear and giving empty promises of getting back at Junmyeon later, with a frowning Tao taking his side and nodding aggressively from behind, Yixing decided right then and there that it was time to send the two gentlemen back to their respective homes. Was it fun? Yes. Flattering? Absolutely. But it was most definitely not worth having a crime scene in his newly bought house, especially since he was just getting accustomed to it and didn’t even get the chance to buy those Sheer lace Curtains he’s been dying to get. And no, he’s not a middle aged woman, he’s simply a very manly man who happens to love lace curtains.

“Yifan.” The said blond stopped mid-sentence, mean scowl swiftly curving into a full intimidating smirk. Junmyeon’s glare darkened at that.

“Yes, honey?” Yixing rolled his eyes before asking the dumb giant to follow him to his room. Without forgetting to assure Junmyeon that they will only take a couple of seconds and that he shouldn’t worry too much about it. The doctor huffed before dragging his feet towards Yixing’s living room with a curious Tao following his suit.

“I have something for you.” Yixing muttered softly as he brought out a sack full of money from his closet and handed it to a baffled Yifan. The blond hesitated at first, not sure of what was happening, because with Zhang Yixing you can never be too sure.

“What’s in it?”

“Check for yourself.” Yifan raised a brow at the shorter male before taking a look inside the ridiculous black sack, his eyes widening a bit at the sight of thousands—if not more—crumpled bills.

“My father’s money.” The blond stated the obvious and Yixing nodded in confirmation. “Why are you giving it back? I already told you Yixing, I’m cool with you having it.”

“Well, I’m not.” Yixing moved to sit on his bed, inviting Yifan along to sit next to him with a small smile playing on his lips. The blond took a final glance at the thing that brought them together in the first place before putting the sack down and walking towards the bed. “I’m moving back to China.”

“What?” Yifan frowned openly, clearly not ecstatic about the news.

“I talked to my dad, and asked if I can go back home…”

“But I thought…I thought you—you said—“ Yixing cut him off with a slender hand grabbing into his. Yifan looked down at the small pale hand, the sudden unfamiliar—dare he say ‘gentle’—gesture, making goosebumps rise up across his skin.  

“I said I wasn’t ready to forgive my mother, not my father. My dad and I are cool, he’s not exactly the greatest dad out there but it’s fine…he promised to make an effort this time around and I trust him—I have to trust him actually, he’s basically all I’ve got.”

“Yixing, your mother wants to make things right as well you know…why won’t you give her a chance—“

“I will.”  Yifan blinked at the unexpected answer.

“You will?” The smaller male nodded with a smile, hesitantly lacing their fingers together. Yifan looked down at the gesture and couldn’t help but let a smile bloom on his face. They were perfect for each other, they balanced each other in so many ways and Yifan longed to have Yixing, longed to call him his and claim him as he’s been dreaming since he was a teen, but then again now wasn’t the right time for that. He wasn’t even sure if Yixing wanted him as well—or at least as much as he did.

“I can’t hate her forever, I mean she’s trying and I…I just want to feel how it’s like having a mother for once. Not right now of course, I still need time to get used to her wanting me and acknowledging my existence but…I’m sure we’ll get there…at some point. I’m tired Yifan, I want to be normal for once. I’ve been living life in the fast lane for far too long.” Yifan nodded in understanding, unlacing their fingers to rub his thumb over Yixing’s soft slender hand in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

“What happened to your ‘Living young, wild and free’ philosophy?” Yifan asked with a tiny smirk, his question meant to break the gloominess surrounding them. His face reflected nonchalance but his heart ached, knowing that Yixing was once again leaving him behind—though this time around he wasn’t going to stop him or get into his way. If they weren’t meant to be then Yifan was ought to move on and let Yixing be. He loved him, with all his heart, all his being, but if Yixing chose to go then Yifan was going to let him.

“Hmm…” Yixing laughed, remembering the day he blew smoke rings at Yifan’s frowning face with Wiz Khalifa’s ‘Young, Wild and Free’ playing in the background. But soon enough his laugh died down, as it was the same day went down. That day was so emotionally charged, from having the day of his life to living a forever haunting nightmare just seconds after kissing Yifan goodnight. “I actually wanted to apology, Yifan. That’s why I brought you here.”

“If it’s about what happened years ago then there’s no need to. I’m over it.”

“Then let me clear something up for you at least.” The blond male titled his head in anticipation, giving Yixing a slight nod to go on. “Back in high school, I wasn’t really as confident as I seemed to be. Actually, I was an insecure neglected kid who was so afraid, so so afraid of what others thought about him. I honestly wasn’t as liked as you might have thought. Before you came, in my first year I mean, I was pretty much a wallflower. Nobody knew who I was or where I came from. Nobody cared to talk to me, I had no friends and because I participated in class, everyone automatically assumed I was a snob or a smartass. They hated me.”

“…” Yifan laced their fingers again with a frown stretching itself on his face.

“And I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t handle them hating me. I was too emotionally deprived…” Straightening his shoulders, Yixing tipped his head up to face the blond. “I couldn't bear being hated again, because my parents made it clear from the day I was born that I was an unwanted child, they didn’t want me and so did everyone at school…”

“Yixing…”

“That’s why I decided to change, because obviously the real me wasn’t going anywhere. I took a week off school, pretending I had the flu. My father was away in another business trip and my mother couldn’t care less. I broke up with my girlfriend—if I can even call her that. She was just someone my father thought suited me. But I was gay and he knew it. After changing the way I looked, I decided being the teacher’s pet wasn’t doing me any favor so I spent the rest of my week off watching teen movies and learning how to act all bad boy-ish and confident. I was a fast learner, it didn’t take me long to master a face and a ‘Don’t with me’ aura.” Yifan couldn’t help but give Yixing a small sad smile, Yixing mirrored it right away.

“And then I got back to school. At first, it hurt me a bit the fact that nobody noticed my absence but I didn’t let the thought bother me too much. The situation fit my plans perfectly.” Yixing’s small smile curved into a smirk.

“They loved the new you obviously.” Yifan smiled at the dark haired male’s content expression.

“Very much so. It didn’t take a lot for them to get obsessed with me. I guess it had something to do with the rumors they started spreading. From being a dangerous mafia boss’ son to being a half-American half-Chinese Star who just got back from the states.” The blond laughed openly at that. Yixing wouldn’t make a bad Star at all, he had all that ‘I’m a y ready to get ed’ to ‘I can you up’ aura, and Yifan doubted anyone could resist someone like the brunette.

“So you were finally loved, huh?”

“No, not really.” Yixing’s proud grin dimmed down a bit and Yifan raised a thick brow in confusion. “They were bored and I was simply the new shiny toy that everyone wanted. I kept myself as mysterious as I could so they wouldn’t lose interest in me, Kept fueling the gossips for as long as I could. They spread rumors about me sleeping around with seniors and even with a few teachers.” Yixing chuckled. “Which was ridiculous, since I was a but nobody had to know. What I wanted you to know is…is that I wasn’t as loved and worshiped as you might have thought Yifan. I used you, but not because I was a heartless it’s because you were they only one who actually had sincere feelings for me. You were a dork, naïve and embarrassingly adorable.”

“Oi!” Yifan grinned when Yixing poked his tongue teasingly at him. He wasn’t offended, not really, Yixing was simply being honest. He was a complete dork back then, so he can’t really argue or deny the fact. “But…you were not a when we…”

“No, I wasn’t. My first time was pretty messy and painful in some shabby Gay bar restroom. I was stupid, I thought if had with a man I’l