It had been hard. Since the last day he saw her, Taekwoon had been hiding his anxiety with work. It had been 4 days, she had been traveling a lot with Hakyeon, and he knew the time was coming, she would leave for Paris in less than a week.

"I wanna see you..."- He was in the recording studio, trying hard to write some lyrics, but his head was elsewhere. Daejung came in all of a sudden making Taekwoon jump in his sit.

"Hyung... you scared me"- he mumbled.

"Taekwoon-ah, you've been here for more than six hours"- he said. Taekwoon looked at the window. It was probably true, he hadn't been aware of his surroundings at all, it was dark outside- "Did you take your shot?"

"Yes"- he said- "Hanna... she called to make sure"

"Ok... she keeps taking care of you"

"She's... just trying not to part ways too early

"... let's get you something to eat"

"Hyung, I'm composing"

"No, you are not... you are just staring at that blank paper"- he pointed to the table . Again, true. He pulled himself from the numbness and followed Daejung to the restaurant down the street. 

He had always been very numb. Nothing really matter much but his music. He had always made great effords for his career. He wanted to sing more than anything, until Hanna that was...

"Ahhh Taekwoonie!"- the ayumma singed in the air- "I thought you were on tour"

"Ayumma... Nice to see you"- he vowed while entering the place.

"You look so nice..."- she said placing her hands in both Taekwoon's cheeks and strocking them. He had been going to that same restaurant back from his trainee days and that ayumma had always taken good care of him. He was really close to her- "I liked the blonde look"

"Oh... gamsahabnida"- he flushed a bit. He wasn't the kind of person to take those kind of flattering words without getting embarassed.

"As nice as always'"- she said and made them sit in one of the tables- "I'll bring the usual"- she went directly to the kitchen. Taekwoon felt familiar with the place, so cozy and home like... he liked that feeling the most. He had been there so long that he knew the exact order of the pictures in the wall. Sometimes, in his rookie years,  he came to eat and some fans would be there, eating silently but looking at his direction. He was flustered at the beginning, but then he understood that people just wanted to see him. He was greatful that they would expend time with him, even from afar. 

"I'll have to bring her here sometime..."

"Are you thinking about her?"- said Daejung- "You are looking far away from here as usual."

"Hyung... it's hard"- he said sighing- "I think it had to be harder on her. I was right there and... so far from her reach"

"Yeah..."- the ayumma brought the drinks and some side dishes before leaving again- "are you sure? I mean, you should think... she's going to other man"

"I... can't aks her to stay now"- he lowered his head and lean in the table- "I want her to live... I can't take the guilt... she found someone that loved her and took care of her while I was in denial. If it weren't for him she would've died and I would have probably too"

"But he's gonna take her away Taekwoon!"

"He's a good man, hyung. I don't want to be apart but..."- Taekwoon took the chopsticks in his fingers and played with them absent mindly- "you should see her... looking at him. Her eyes melt... he loves her too, you know?"

"You are going to regret this"

"I am going to beat myself over this... but I'll take everything straight forward"

Two days later he took Hanna to the restaurant. It was their goodbye, so he wanted it to be special so he could hang to that memory for a long time. They ate a lot, ayumma served a lot happily and kept complimating Hanna on her good looks and her manners. He couldn't be happier, even when MinHee was mentioned and Hanna was a bit taken aback

"The other girl was cute, but she didn't make Taekwoon's eyes sparkle like this"- she pointed- "Are you his soulmate?"- Hanna kept quiet but looked into Taekwoon's eyes. She hadn't been aware of it, but it was true, Taekwoon's eyes were glowing a bit. Hanna smiled heavily.

"It's fine"- he said- "I'll be fine"

"Taekwoon..."- she said nothing more but bit her lip hard enough to make a mark on it. They finished eating and greeted ayumma on their way out. As they started walking back, Taekwoon reached for her hand. He had to take the last bit of warm he could, he didn't know if he would ever feel it again. He guided her between the deserted alleys, making turns in corners that lead anywhere else than their final destination, untill he finally was sure he could let her go without asking her to stay.

"Don't forget... I'll be here"- he said more as a reassurence for her to know... for him to know that she would knew. He holded her in his arms tightly.

"Ne..."- the pause made his heart race- "We are not going to... plan to see each other? You are going to be in Paris"- He had to mentally slapped himself to regain some sense. He wanted to, of course. But if he saw her... after this day, he wouldn't be sure to be ever able to let go again.

"Hanna... you are not loosing me"- his voice waver a little, he hoped Hanna didn't notice- "You are not loosing me... I'm the one loosing you"- he thought-"I'll be here, always. Just come if you are ready. I'll wait"- he pressed his lips in her forehead waiting for the wave of warmness and then he walked, slowly back to the building.

He didn't look back, he didn't want to see her back either. The hurting he felt after that day in Paris when she was leaving the house... he couldn't forget yet. 

The next day he couldn't concentrate either. He didn't want to go to the airport, but the thoughts of Hanna leaving him made his right side ache a lot. He spend the day in bed.

After a week, he got used to the little lingering pain, but he got a slight depression. He couldn't eat well but he made the effort just for his mother. He had to explain everything to her, very slowly so she could at least knew about the situation. Of course she wasn't happy about it, she couldn't understand the reason why he was letting his soulmate go to another man, but she eventually let him be because he looked so troubled about it... so sad and painful.

"Son, do you want second plate of rice?"

"No omma... I ate at the studio too"

While he was in Korea his mother took care of him, but after he started the tour all over, he had to take care of himself. Now, MinHee was not around and Daejung was too busy coordinating other stuff.  After a few weeks on tour, the schedules were heavier, but he found the time to be alone, and to think.

"Are you studing well? I've been writting a lot of songs about you... I want to show them to you"

The months passed by. He always got the box of little bottles full of the serum he had to take everyday, and everyday he took them with the same painfull feeling. The tour ended after six more months, and then he headed back to Seoul. He had been composing a lot, but he didn't want to release any of them, it was too personal. Now he had to go into a studio and compose some more, but he couldn't shake Hanna out of his mind.

He ended up writting about himself, about the shyness and the difficulties of expressing himself. He wrote about the selfishness, the pain and that men put on women and... it was all about heartache. The album did well... better than he had expected, people actually started loving his music much more. He grew a lot after recording that record, but he kept on writting lyrics, just for her. 

It had been almost unmmanagable... he wanted to see her so badly. He actually went to Paris, almost 10 times over those two years. But he never saw her. He wanted to feel her a bit closer, that was it. Sometimes, Hongbin gave him a little information. About how well she was doing, he told him about the good reception her art was having all over the world. It was nice knowing she had been doing well, but he wanted so much more.

At night, he often dreamed about her. Nothing special, just her sitting besides him and smiling. As soon as he woke up from those dreams he wrote music.

"Taekwoon-ah... you have to record this songs"- his CEO said- "They're amazing... all of them"

"PD-nim, this is just to personal"

"But they are soo good... people would get crazy"

"I only want her to hear it"

In those two years, he had recorded a lot more than in the rest of his career. He had three full lenght albums and 5 mini albums, but he never put any of "Hanna's songs". He had recorded them, just to please PD-nim, but he made sure no one could access them whitout his concent. Those were his thoughts for her... and he would gave them to her when she returned. 

"I'll be waiting..."- he remembered the promise, but it was getting too difficult to be able to keep it. A whole three years had passed already and, he lived everyday, little by little. But his days became grayer, almost without sense. Will he last like that? He might, but he really didn't want to. Realize that he had to live so... half heartly was so boring.

"Hyung... I don't want to go"- Taekwoon was not in the mood to asist to a social gathering. He wanted to stay home and watch some movies, and eat, and... nothing more than that, specially because Jiae would be going the next day with Hongbin and their girl to play at his apartment.

"Taekwoon-ah, this is a personal favor for the CEO"- he said- "You just have to go in, say hi to a bunch of artist that he is interest to sign up and then just leave"

"Hyung..."- he sighed, but he knew he had to go, afterall, the CEO had been very caring towards him.

In those three years, as his fame race, so did the interest of the general public. People started asking where was his soulmate, he was getting old too and he seemed to traveled alone always. By now must of his friends were married and had kids, it was a normal thing to get married around 23. He, on the other hand was a mistery in the industry. That was other of the reasons he hated to appear in social events, he was alone. He was the only one alone. The CEO had to control lots of rumors. He even heared some related to MinHee (that weren't too far from reality).

The day in question came. He headed to the beauty salon heavily, for some reason he couldn't sleep at all that night. After his daily dose, he felt even more tired than before. His head hurted a bit, but he had to attend.

"Taekwoon-ssi, it an important occasion?"- his stylist asked

"It's a new exhibit in the Museum of modern and contemporary art"

"Ohh! I didn't hear about it!"- she said- "I always get this kind of info beforehand... my friend works there and I really enjoy art. What is it about?"

"I've got no idea"

"That's bad Taekwoon-ssi, you should have info about the exhibition and the artist"

"Now I feel bad, I'm going for businness... I think I should study a bit before going..."

"Don't worry Taekwoon-ssi, I'm messing with you. You don't need to study to feel art. Just be sure to enjoy it a lot"- she said. He now felt a little burden by it. He didn't know it would be that kind of event. He thought it would be like the others he had attended so far, just a bunch of people in a big space filled with pretty paintings, talking about everything but art.

"I guess I should... afterall my soulmate... "- he whispered to himself.

He drove himself to he museum. Daejung gave a ty excuse when he asked him to take him, so he just took his car and left without asking anymore. The road to the museum was actually far from the part of Seoul he knew. He felt a bit ashamed to admit it, but he hadn't been in a museum for so long that he didn't remembered the last time he had entered one.

The museum looked deserted. No cars, no people. He was the only one around.

"What the..."- he parked the car in the parking lot and called Daejung, but he didn't pick it up- "great... am I too early?"- he checked the invitation, but everything was fine. 8 o'clock was written, it was 8 past 5.

He decided to go have a look inside. All the lights were on, so he walked by the gardens a little. It was a nice place, he had to accept it. It was enormous though, after a 10 minute walk, he was sure he was the only one around. But then, he saw something that startled him. He was completely sure, from the inside of the museum, the image of Hanna passed by walking.

He inmediately run to the entrance and started knocking on the door.

"I need to go in! Please!"- he raised his voice untill someone came.

"Sir are you looking for something?"

"Yes!"- he said to the guy standing by the museum door- "There's a person inside the museum and... I was invited"- he took the card out to show it to the keeper- "She's... little, like 1,62m. Honey almond eyes..."

"That invitation is false. There's no one in the museum at this hour sir"- the guy said and tried to close the door behind him, but Tekwoon was faster. He went straight forward running. Nothing mattered, the police could drag him out if he couldn't find her. But not untill he had searched the totallity of the instalations. He was completely sure he had saw...

The lights were off. He wondered how she could've gone in there alone. He run faster than before, just to get a a big empty hall where there was a bifurcation...  She would be lost, maybe, she was walking the corridors... Why was she there? Of course, it was completly in her field but... He stopped running.

"What if she's with him?... It might kill me"- he wanted... needed to see her, but the thought of seeing her with her arms around Hakyeon made him shiver. Even though, he kept trying to see something in that big hall. His ears were on fire just listening to steps, and now the painfull silence was overwhelming. His heart raced a thousand at hour.  Inside the big hall there was nothing, not even chairs. It was too empty. Were all museums like that?

"You're killing me..."- he whispered, but in the big space the sound rumbled in the walls. He moved a few steps forward and then, all of a sudden he runned into a wall- "Ouch..."- he massaged his elbow and then noticed a little drawing framed in the wall

And there, right in front of him, his eyes recognized it. He had barely seen it before, the first day he met Hanna at the cafe. Hanna was doodleing something and he couldn't help but trying to recognize what it was. That day she was drawing him...

"This is..."- all of a sudden, the hall started to light up.

From every single angle he could see: his face, everywhere. Pastels, oil, watercolors, colors, graphite. Diferent features of him. Portraits everywhere, hundreds... maybe thousands

"What..."

"I'm sorry"- he looked around untill he found the only figure that stood out of the walls- "I didn't want to scare you"- he couldn't move. There she was, he could say it from that far. She was as... just like 3 years ago. She had no longer that long caramel hair she used to. Now the little waves came untill right above her collarbones and she had a lighter tone of hair. She was wearing black skinny jeans, a striped white and blue shirt and her usual white converse, she hadn't change.

"Do you like it?"- she didn't move- "I... been making it since... we met"

"Why..."

"It's something I just did without much thought"- he didn't know what to say, or what to do. He could only stare at himself all around the enormous room. He decided to move closer just to see the detail of every picture. Every single one of them was... amazing. The detail of his skin, of his eyes. The feeling was... what was it?

"Why did you do this?"- he kept passing one after the other. It was him all over. Smiling, eating, sleeping. In the shower, in the studio, at a concert. Having coffee, writing something, in the airport. Him frowning and yelling, him jogging, singing and playing the guitar... Him... everywhere.

"Is it creepy?"- she said, and then chuckled- "I bet it is for you..."- she started rounding the room too- "Still... I really wanted to show you"

"Why...?"- he kept asking. He was in shock, his mind was in chaos trying to process everything.

"I've been so nervous of doing this..."- she said- "It took me long enough. Three and some years of drawings."

"Hanna... why?"

"I was waiting, for everything to settled down..."- she smiled shyly, just the way he remembered so clearly every time he caughed her staring at him.

"...Why?"- he insisted.

"Because...I missed you"- she stopped and looked up- "Everytime I missed you I... drew. When I met you... I missed you from the beginning. Am I crazy?"- she chuckled again- "I never felt I had you... so I've missed you forever"- he sighed- "It's ridiculous, isn't it?... I..."- he turned to see her. She was at the verge of tears trembling slightly enough for him to notice- "I'm sorry... I had a great time in Paris. I learned a lot and I loved and was loved back... I lived a lot of things... but in the end I love you"- and then tears fell from her cheeks to the floor- "I loved you from the first time I set my eyes on you, Jung Taekwoon"

"Love..."- he repeated like part of the echo. The silence once again regain complete control of the space. His mind was in silence too, even his heart was quiet. He could only see her in front, with all those hims looking at her. It was that... love. That's what he felt when he saw all those drawings- "I wrote... I wrote a lot of songs"- and then tears came to his eyes too- "I needed to tell you... how I'm sorry, how I should've been to you, how... Why can't I be the one showing you? Why you always beat me to say what I need to? I wanted to tell you..."- Hanna was frozen in the same possition, sobbing stronger as time passed by.

"Tell me!"- she screamed

"I wrote as many songs as you drew me"- he cried- "I wanted to sing them to you every night. I felt like dying every day... I wanted to die so many times..."- he  tried to walk but his feet didn't listen to him, he was shaking too much- " I wanted to tell you that the first time I saw you at the restaurant I thought you were the prettiest girl alive. I wanted to tell you how much I wanted to hug you when we just held hands and how I would've wanted to sooth your pain while you felt the cold... I wanted to tell you how sorry I am, for not defending you while I knew you were getting hurt, and for hurting you with all the things I said and did... I wanted to tell you that I didn't want to let you go... that I knew you would choose him in the end... that I was a coward and that I... need you"- he was out of breath. Hanna just kept crying silently at the other side of the room- "I waited..."-he started walking to her- "I waited... Kwon Hanna, I'll never let you go again"- and he pulled her little body into his. She fitted so well, so nicely. Her hair still smelled the same, her voice was the same, her skin...

"Tell me"- she said softly again- "Tell me everything"

"I tried... I'm just an idiot. I don't know how..."- he said- "I've been trying..."

"Just tell me"- she hold him so tightly as if he was about to desapear. He pulled her face near his. He could count her eyelashes, the cracks on her lips... even the freckles that fro afar were part of her skin. He could see what he wanted to see so much. He could see her, it was no loger a memory of her hiding in corners, or talking with her head lowered, it was no longer her laugh far away from him. It was her in his arms. This time, it wasn't  a dream, and this time he would tell her, what so many times he said to the air trying to reach Hanna's ears.

"I love you"- She stoped crying and a wide smile catched her lips instead. And right there, without anything more to say, Taekwoon kissed her.

_______________________

6:23 AM. (GMT-5)  Monday [150518]

This is how I decided to end it.

Thank you so much for following the story untill here. I hope you had all liked it. I'm sorry if I dissapointed some readers in the end... I'm just a little selfish with this kind of stories... please accept my apologies

Also, a special thanks to the people that commented a lot: Khunluv, Nikiixcandy, Babybaozi and Eufalis. Your comments were really special and made me realize that you liked the story.... fighting!

If you found the story amusing or interesting I would want to ask you to Upvote so more people would be interested in it in the future. 

Again, I'm sorry for the inconsistencies throughout the story and all the grammar, orthography and redaction mistakes I might have made.

Soon enough I'm going to star publishing another two fics, a BTS (http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/950715/) one and another of VIXX. Thank you again for following This big world.

I might... write something of this world in the future, I haven't decided yet. XD. Gamsahabnida!