Everything was happening too fast. After Berlin, work was too much. He barely slept on those two weeks. Taekwoon was tired, he couldn't deny it. His body was working at his limit and he knew. Every day was the same: get up, make up, reunion with the staff, interview, photoshoot, concert, meal, sleep. It was like that every day. He was tired of the schedule, and his mood wasn't good after the discussion with MinHee. After the revelation of Hanna being his soulmate, MinHee had became a real headache. Even when he loved her and that fact wouldn't change, MinHee was making everyone misserable. He noticed, she was malicious around Hanna. She grabbed him, kissed him and made Hanna look. It was cruel, and he knew, but he could do little to control her.

After MinHee's departure, Hanna seemed to feel better. She started gaining some weight and her appetite was bigger. He could see her eating with the staff inbetween schedules and she smiled much more. Actually, Hanna made easier to take the hellish schedules. She was louder and happier. She talked to everyone and made them smile. She helped here and there and did her work marvelously.

"This one is so good!"- she yelled in the middle of the set pointing at the screen. The photographer was not even bothered. A photographer that she had never met before. She had that kind of talent, she made everyone like her. 

"I thing we've got our cover"- the photographer said looking at the same picture she had pointed. Taekwoon knew inmediatly that Hanna was trying to help him. He knew that she was trying to make the studio hours decrease so he could sleep a bit more. He knew she did it for him.

"I'm tired"- he jumped into the car after the photoshoot. Now that MinHee was away in Paris, Hanna rode with him. That was another plus to MinHee's abscence. 

"You didn't sleep last night"- she said. His eyes were shuttering- "I... heard you playing the guitar in the early morning"

"I was trying to compose but I guess I'm too tired"

"We've got two hours till our next schedule, you should sleep a little"- she suggested. He closed his eyes slightly. He had always been a crappy sleeper, he couldn't fall asleep easily. After a few minutes he felt how Hanna's hand guided his head to rest on her shoulder. The warm feel was amazing and it relaxed him instantly, it was one of the best sleeps of his life. 

After that day, his mood started to change. He slept better, he talked much more and he started to laugh more. Sometimes he could feel a smile permanently in his face. For no special reason. It was amazing, he had never been like that. When he was young he was so shy he could barely express his feelings to his mom, so the fact that he was smiling was shocking, even for himself.

"How about this"- Hanna pointed in the script. They were in Bern that week and a Taekwoon was invited to a talk show. Hanna, as the official translator was also in charge of reviewing the order of the questions- "We can change the structure of the question and then squeeze this one in. You can appeal better this way. I mean... "- she blushed- "well..."

"I got it"- he said trying not to smile too widely at her cute reaction. She was not only devoted, she was really intelligent. Taekwoon noticed she was very structured and had sense. Her work was perfect, always. She spent hours reviewing all his scripts, trying to design the better path for him to get more reactions, more fans. She took the roll he had given to her (just to make her busy during the tour) and turned it one of the most important around the staff. Even the CEO had taken a notice of her work. It was warm... every time she smiled, she laughed. Every time he had time to watch her passsing throught the pages of the scripts with that serious look on her face. He noticed how warm it was to just look at her.

Those two weeks, he felt more alive than ever. He enjoyed everything he did, even when he should have no more energy left, he could go to have dinner with the staff. Now he felt closer to them, and Hanna was the bridge. She still guard herself, she didn't speak much about herself to him, but she didn't have to hide herself everytime he was around anymore. 

Everything was going nicely untill the day before they had to leave to Paris. He was returning late at night to his hotel room. Daejung and him were having a videoconference with the CEO of their company and it took longer than expected. Since the staff share a whole floor of the hotel most of the doors were opened. It was late, but they still worked. 

He was passing by Hanna's room when he heard her laughing happily. It wasn't his intention, he wasn't planning on it, but he just stood there in the middle of the hall trying to listen to her laughing. Soon, the laughs transformed into a conversation.

"Stop it! You've got to take it seriously"- she said- "I'm asking a serious question"

"I just wanna make you smile"- Taekwoon didn't recognize the guy's voice, but it sounded familiar. It wasn't Hongbin, he was sure about it.-"how are things going anyways?"

"I'm fine"- she said-"things are great actually, tomorrow we'll be heading to Paris and then we'll meet"- a strike of curiosity hit Taekwoon, who was this person she would be meeting in Paris? He decided to listen to the conversation a bit longer.

"Call me as soon as you get here"- he said- "I have to fill your provisions of serum"- finally Taekwoon could remember, the voice was the doctor Hanna met in Amsterdam just a few weeks ago.

"Neeee"- her voice was... So happy. She was always composed and shy when she talked to him. He knew she treated him differently than her friends. But this was different.

"How's sketching going?"- The doctor asked- "did you take good pictures?"

"Sketching is fine, yesterday I went to a festival near the hotel we've been staying and drew people randomly, I've gotten quite good at european facial features"- she continued-"actually I'm thinking about getting some clases while in Paris..."- he didn't know that either. He hadn't asked about her carrer...

"That's a great idea!"- he said- "I'm not well versed in art but I'm positive about your abilities as a drawer. You are sooo good!"

"Hakyeon please, stop praise me"

"I'm not praising, I'm flirting..."- Taekwoon felt like a thunder had hit him-"I mean, you care more about your abilities than your looks so I have to make comments of your great intelect to get you to feel good"- she chuckled a bit.

"How can you know me so well? We've literally just met!"- Taekwoon felt it too, they were really close. He could feel that the guy knew Hanna better than him, and... Hanna had opened up to him.

He didn't want to hear anymore, his right side hurted too much. He wanted to go in her room and make her stop talking to the guy,  he wanted to pull her off the room and make her go with him. He wanted to grab her hand and keep it like that all night long.

"I want to get to know you. Much better"- the guy said- "You are so... interesting, so nice. I've never met someone like you"

"I've never met someone like you either"

He couldn't take it. He somehow dragged his feet to his room and closed the door behind him. What was that feeling? That burning feeling he had in every cell of his body?

He hated it: the way she spoke to him, the way she laughed and how he spoke to her. How she told him everything... His right side hurted, it was uncomfortable.

_____________________________

That night he couldn't sleep much. They jumped into the van and drove to Paris. He wasn't feeling good after all that thinking he had made the night before. His head hurted a lot, and he decided to nap in the last sit of the van. Afterall, he had to break the news he had been holding to Hanna. He didn't want to do it, but it had to be done, eventually... He felt bad for her. He knew she cared a lot, about Hongbin and his sister, about people in general.

Daejung woke him up when they arrived at the house MinHee's friend had rented for them. He got out of the car feeling like . His head hurted and his right side too.

"Hyung I want to sleep a little more"- he said.

"Taek... we need to talk to Hanna. The wedding is this Saturday. I'm going to tell her we need to speak"- he said- "I'm sorry, I know you wanted to take your time but this..."

"I know hyung"- they went in the house and Daejung announced it to her. She had a wide smile, just looking at the house. 

"She liked it, that's good" He thought to himself.climbing the stairs right behind her. He followed her closely and waited for her to check every room and the tags that were on them. He found her every action amusing. Her expressions were so pure, so readable. He liked that about her.

He followed her to the third floor. She stopped abruptly in front of the door of the room. She had a shocked look in her face and so he decided to get her out of her day dream.

"We're on the same floor"- Taekwoon said- "I guess I can't run from you"

"I won't disturb you"- she almost whispered. He knew that voice, it was the same of a month ago. So uncomfortable...- "I promise I won't make loud noises or... I'll try not to make contact with you"

"I don't mean it like that"- he really didn't mean it like that. He wanted things to change. He didn't want to torture her anymore, he wanted to befriend her... he wanted to make her life easier.

"It's fine. I know she's important for you, so I won't do anything to cause distress"- she walked away from him. Again, he felt the gap between them widen- "We should go back to where we didn't talk"

"You... do you really want that?"- he couldn't believe she was trying to push him away again. After all they had been through those weeks...

"It's never about what I want"- she said. He was upset. The conversation between the doctor and her last night came to his mind. How the hell did he do to make her open up? He walked to her and put his fingers on her jaw making her face lift to see him. He wanted to see it in her eyes. The reasurement he wanted, Hanna... needed him... didn't she?- "It's always about you"- That put an end to it. It was true... From the beginning he was the one that made the rules. He didn't want to give her a chance, and now... he wanted her. He put a strand of hair that had scaped from the bun she had. 

"Meet me on the first floor... I need to tell you something"- His head hurted even more. But he was resolved to do whatever had to be done. He was even prepared to leave everything and take her to Seoul. After that, he took a quick shower and went down inmediately. Hanna wasn't there, but Daejung was.

"Hyung... would it be terrible... I mean it's my sister's wedding afterall"- He was ashamed of asking, but he had to try. Before, he didn't even spoke to them about the possibility for him to take at least 3 days off just to go to his sister's wedding- "Is it impossible for me to go?"

"I... spoke to the CEO"- Daejung said- "He wanted to know if you wanted to go, but... I said you really didn't care"

"Hyung..."

"But you actually didn't care!"

"She's my sister!"

"I know! that's the most upsetting part... I mean, you should've fought to be there and yet..."

"I'm an idiot"

"But you are coming to your senses..."- in that moment Hanna went down the stairs- "Don't worry, I'll convince the CEO. You just tell Hanna we're going"

"I..."

"Oh... Hanna"- Dae Jung interrupted him- "I was about to call you... I was just talking to Taekwoon and... he has something to tell you, it's about the wedd..."- Hanna's eyes fixed in his face made him avoid her. He was very aware of her every movement. In that moment the doorbell rang.

"I'll go"- Hanna said approaching the door. 

Everything happened too fast. She opened the door, she was pushed to the wall, and someone was hanging from his neck in just a second. He felt the weight hanging from his body and for the first time, he felt uncomfortable having MinHee near. He glanced at Hanna automaticaly. Her face was static, she was staring so much that didn't notice his glare. In that moment he flet MinHee's hands making him look at her. He could only half assly smile.

"MinHee... I'm happy to see you too but I need to finish this thing..."

"What do you mean? We haven't been together in almost a month and now you want to leave me her by my own?"- she said running her fingers in his hair. He wanted to get out her grip, he could see Hanna's pain in her face, even when Daejung was trying to get her way leading her to the living room. MinHee stood there trying to get his attention, but he was feeling nauseous and his head started spinning. But in that moment, the anxious voice of Daejung made him focuse in the living room.

"Hanna...??... Hanna!! Oh my God! Taekwoon!"- he called. Taekwoon run to the living room and saw Daejung holding Hanna's unconcious body from falling. He grabed her from her waist and lifted her to a bed.

"What happened?"- he almost yelled. His headache was worsening and a sudden cold invaded his body.

"I was just talking to her and she started getting paler... and suddenly her eyes went white"

"Bring me her phone"- a staff memeber climbed the stairs as fast as he could. The only thing he could think of was calling the doctor, Cha Hakyeon. Afterall, he knew Hakyeon would be in Paris- "Try to unlock it!"- he was erratic, not even MinHee's dark expression was bothering him- "We need to call the doctor she met at Amsterdam"- he said to Daejung.

"We don't know the password..."- The staff said.

"Try..."- he didn't know. He didn't have the slightess idea of what would her password be.

"Try impressionism, or Renoir"- Daejung suggested- "It's the style she likes the best and her favorite painter... did you unlock the celphone? We need his number... this f....it's not working.."

"I'm fine"- They heared a whisper like voice. Taekwoon turned to see Hanna's eyes opening slowly. He stood there trying to calm himself down.

"Oh my God..."- Daejung rushed to her- "what happend? are you ok?"

"I'm fine..."

"I have to call that doctor. The one who gave you the serum, he lives her doesn't he?... give me his phone..."- he was a bit frenetic. But so was Taekwoon. He was having almost a heartattack.

"Calm down"- she tried to sit down, but Taekwoon noticed that her arms trembled too much- "I'm fine..."

"Give me the ing number!"- Daejung screamed, genually mad- "I knew it was something weird... I should have pressured more to know... You lost too much weight, were pale all along..."

"Oppa... calm down... I'm fine"

"Give me the number"- Taekwoon couldn't take it anymore. He had been way too pasive at the preious experiences of her health problems. He was mad, not at her, he was mad at himself.- "Now"-  She kept trying to sit, but he wouldn't allow it, she was so pale and... it hurted, it hurted him.

"I..."

"Give me the phone"- Taekwoon ordered to the staff. Dae Jung hand it to him. It hurted all over, but he needed to talk to Hanna, now.

"Let's leave them"- Dae Jung said to the people that were in the room- "Go unpack"- they went out slowly.

Taekwoon then brought a chair near the bed and sat. He was feeling dizzy and it was difficult to keep his head up. It took sometime for him to be able to speak, and when he noticed she was already sitting. It hurted too much, he had to make enormous effort just to organize an idea in his mind.

"... I need to know, what's really going on... I mean, it's been almost a month since you have been having those shots, and yes you do look better, but... now you faint and..."- A terrible thunder of pain invaded him, from head to toe everything ached.

"I... am greatful that you worry about me, but all you have to know it's that... I... have some health problems, and I'm taking care, so... I don't want you to..."

"know..."- he ended the sentence. He was loosing his temper. Not only the conversation wasn't going the way he wanted, but also he was unable to say what he wanted. In the end, he spit out everything he resented- " I'm not stupid, I eventually figure it out on my own... You don't want me to get near you, you don't want me to know anything, you don't even want me to know you"- it was true, and it was his fault. He made it that way. He made her do that wall.

"It's because I want to protect myself..."- it was obvious. She didn't have to say it.

"From what?!"- even when he knew, he needed to hear it from her. From her lips. He wanted to be able to repent wholeheartly. He had played with her feelings, with her time and her life. He wanted to be comfortable, and have everything his way.

"FROM YOU!!"- she screamed, and then got up. So much damage for so little words. It wasn't nice. His right side was killing him, he could barely breath. And between the whole pain, he heard Hanna's voice talking smoothly- "Hakyeon-ah... I'm in Paris..."- she paused.

"Hakyeon? she's calling the doctor"- he thought.

"I... fainted"- Taekwoon's brain was working to the limit trying to process everything- "Can you come? I... wanna see you... "

"She... wants to see him? She..."- that made it. The little control he was trying to keep just slipt from his hands. He wanted it to stop... not again... he wanted to stop her from speaking to that other guy. He wanted to make her look at him, only at him.

"I... need to tell you something..."- He took a grip of her wrist- "Hongbin and sis's wedding is gonna be this friday. The date had to changed, the church had problems... they had to move it"- He had to have her attention, he needed her eyes to see him.

"What?"- it worked, she was no longer focoused on the phone. But still... his head was killing him.

"We can not go. I have two concerts this week, fanmeetings, interviews and some photoshoots. It's impossible to go"- he couldn't bring his head up.

"You... you promised me"

"I know..."- his breathing was even more irregular- "why am I saying this? We are going... we are... just tell her"

"You... said we could go!"- he got up and started walking to the door, he was positive he'll need a bathroom. He couldn't hold the vomit any longer- "It's the only thing I've asked you! I've never asked for anything else... Please!"- He could listen to her voice, but his whole body was too far from himself to be able to actually understand. He just needed a bathroom, fast. And then... he heard it. The last thing he wanted to hear but have earned so misserably well- "I...I hate you!! Why did it had to be you?!  Why did..."

"I know you hate me"- he whispered puting his back to rest in the door he had just closed and trying hard not to throw up.

"I wanted a family!! You never asked... I... wanted to meet my soulmate get married. have kids and a dog. I wanted to have a life..."

"I know... you didn't have to tell me... I know"- he breath out.

"I wanted someone to love me..."

"Do you want me to love you?"

"Am I selfish???"

"No"

"Am I a nonsense to you???!!"

"No"

"You always have something to say don't you? What about me? I have so many things to..."- she couldn't speak no more, the only sounds that left her lips were sobs. So much hurting... so much torment. She hold up too much. And now he felt her pain. How could they be so connected? How did he missed that connection for so long? His eyes were full of tears and his body was collapsing, and then, everything that could've been wrong have happened. He run to the bathroom and threw up as much as his stomach was willing. It was cold, so cold...

By the time he could stand and leave the bathroom, he knew what had to be done. He would go in the room and expose everything. The way he had been feeling the last weeks. The terror of leaving the only comfort he have had for years... He was a coward, he didn't want to admit the obvious. He loved Hanna from the first moment, he was just terrified of the idea to fall in love with somenone he didn't even know. He... wanted the familiar, warm feeling MinHee had given to him untill that moment. So weak, such and idiot. He tried so hard to get away those feelings... pushing Hanna aside, trying not to notice, trying not to see. Her perfect smile that light up the room. Her long slightly wavy hair shampoo scent irradiating everytime she bathed... the bags under her beautiful eyes for that whole month in HongKong... Even her boyish style... he loved it all. He was never so thankful that a girl never used skirts... he wanted her for his own.

He wanted to hold her delicate body that had been tainted for his mistreat and told her straight how jelous he was of that other guy... how he wished she would speak up, how he wanted to know her... to be able to understand... he wanted to tell her...

With that in mind he pulled his limbed body up and got out the bathroom decided to do it.

And then, the guy appeared.

"YOU!"- Hakyeon yelled at him- "I TOLD YOU TO TAKE CARE OF HER! I thought you had a chance to love her... I really thought so... Damn you"

"What are you talking about?"- Taekwoon's body was holding itself just enough to get to Hanna, but the impulse was gone. And he hated that voice... the one that made her laugh so comfortably...- "Stay away from us"

"NO!"- he screamed again- "It's enough.... I gave you the opportunity. Now I'm taking her away"

"What do you mean?"- Taekwoon's heart raised. He just needed a moment, a few minutes to talk to her- "Let me..."- he tried to scape from the situation and reach the room that Hanna was in, probably crying her eyes off. He wanted it to stop. He could feel everything deep in his... soul. She was so sad...

"After everything you've done... now you want to reach to her? HOW COULD YOU? YOU COULD'VE KILLED HER... SON OF A..."- Taekwoon felt a sharp pain in his face and he couldn't continue walking anymore. He fell straight to the floor. 

The events that followed he didn't remember very well. He just felt MinHee's hands trying to get a hold of his face. Hanna getting out of the room and going directly to the doctor's arms. Daejung kneeling besides him and trying to get his attention. Hanna's hand reaching for the other guy's one, Hanna's eyes looking at him for a second... Hanna's feet moving to the door, Hanna's back...

"Don't go... I lov..."

____________________

Too late. She's already gone, and now the cold will be his company. He couldn't stop the growing trembor in his fingers... He went to the hospital. They did some examinations and found he had broken his nose. It didn't hurt, not much. The pain was spread to his whole body. The nose was the less of his worries. After the hospital, and trying hard not to flip over MinHee's desperate state, he spoke to the CEO to keep Daejung out of the whole problem he was in.  He was so tired, he could bearly keep his eyes open. 

He just wanted to sleep... like that day in the car. Hanna's hands holding his face into her shoulder...

Even when he was in bed it was impossible to sleep. The sharp pain in his right side was too bothersome. He couldn't eat a spoonfull. His stomach wouldn't allow it. Even so, he had decided, they would all go to Jiae's and Hongbing's wedding. Daejung would take care of the tickets and then... he would try to sleep a little, even when MinHee's voice drilling throught the walls to try to get him.

He didn't want to see anyone. He needed the time to think. He was sorry, for putting the two people he loved in that position but he was a selfish bastard afterall. Where is she? Is him making her laugh? Was she thinking about him?

The second day was a torture. He had feverish dreams... he couldn't get up in all day.

Instead he had this feverish dreams... A conversation of love... Hanna's hand holding the other guy, walking through Paris... A store, a dress. She looked so pretty. Why? Is she wearing a dress for him? The eiffel tower... It hurts more and more. Why?... another day without eating. He didn't feel the need. He jsut wanted another cover to keep him from freezing.

"Taekwoon-ah... if I call her she won't say no"- said Daejung waking him from another feverish dream- "Hanna... loves you"

"Did she? How?... She couldn't have been throught this much pain and not... hate me"- he thought to himself- "Hyung... Did she went through this?"- Taekwoon was trembling strongly, talking about her made that to his body.

"I think so..."- Daejung answered honestly- "Taekwoon... I know she won't refuse to come. I've been following your wishes the past few days, but you are getting worse. Your nose is not healing at all and the cold is making you unable to... function"- Taekwoon knew that was true. He had been a living corps for the past two days... but she endured it for almost a month...

"Hyung... I deeply hurted Hanna..."- his usual low voice was even lower- "It would be horrible for me to call her just when I need her"

"This is wrong Taekwoon-ah... you are so sick"- Daejung said- "At least let me call the doctor... Hanna seemed better after taking those shots, we can figure out a way to make you feel better"

"Promise me you won't call her"- Taekwoon said- "If she could withstrand it I can too"- he could, he had to go through that. Autopunishment? Maybe... he didn't want to feel that guilty. Was she happy? with the other guy...? Did she smiled like she did when he took her hand that day in the restaurant of Amstedam? Did she... loved him?

Another feverish dream, she was sleeping in his arms. He hold her all night long. 

It hurted his right side was killing him. The cold sweat made him even colder.

"Don't stop me! I need to see him!"- he woke to MinHee's voice outside his room.

"He's sleeping, he needs to recover"- Daejung voice followed- "We have to take a plane tomorrow and he isn't feeling any better..."- the door opened abruptly. MinHee's eyes on him...

"Is this the end?"- MinHee was standing dreadly near Taekwoon, holding his hand and sobbing- "do you love her?"

"I... love you"- he whispered. He did. He did, for the last ten years, she was his sunshine. Parting was not an option.

"Then why? Why are you letting this affect you so badly?"

"You don't understand... It's biology. I'm away from her..."- he tried to explain. Excuses... he was full of them... he was so scared. He didn't want to loose her. She was safe, she had always been there... he couldn't hurt her as he had hurted Hanna. She had dedicated too much of her time to be with him, to grow with him. He owed her... everything. And yet, he wanted Hanna from the bottom of his heart. He wanted to hold her, to her hair and hug her. To share his deepest thougths, to sleep in her arms... he wanted to... love her.

"That's bull Taekwoon! I know you!"- she kept yelling- "I know! You love her! Don't think for a second I haven't noticed you following her with your eyes. Don't... pretend with me. I... love you, I know you. If you were willing to fight for us... you would've done anything. I know your eyes. This defeted you, you cannot do anything."

"I'm sorry"- he managed to say and for the first time he cried out. All the pressure had finally ceased, it was like MinHee was realising him. She hold him silently and let him cry all he wanted.

"I don't want to hear you are sorry... I was selfish too..."- she caressed his hair- "I knew we had to say goodbye but... I just wanted to hold to you a little more. I wanted to..."

"I'm sorry"

"Don't..."- she cried too- "We were impossible... Thank you for staying with me till the end"

___________________________________

After that, Minhee stood with him for the next day. He was feeling a little better. At least he ate and slept without the feverish dreams and when Thrusday came, he was able to go in the plane. Daejung sugested to change the color of his hair to cover his paleness to the fans, now he was a very light blonde. The leak of information was probably the reason why the airport was compeltely blocked. So many papparazzi, so many people. He felt suffocated.

Daejung took MinHee home, she wasn't very welcomed in his house. After that he went home. He missed his home, his mom and Jiae. The day before Hanna had sent the serum that made her better. It was in fact very helpful, but it hurted a lot to apply it. He wasn't as cold as before, but he couldn't stop trembling.

"Oppa"- he heard Jiae called from the outside- "Omma prepared dinner"

"I'm not hungry"- He wasn't. He had eaten in the airport.

"Oppa... are you loosing weight? I think you are loosing too much"

"I'm just not hungry"

"Oppa... are you ok?"- she wanted to touch him, but he didn't want to worry her. He knew she would flip if she knew how cold he was- "What happened? Did you had a fight with MinHee?"

"Jiae... just let me sleep for a bit. I'm tired"- he was indeed, his muscles were sore.

"Oppa... can I ask you something else?"- He knew what she was going to ask- "Hongbin... and I. We just want to know..."

"Hanna is coming tomorrow. I bought the ticket"- he said- "She... is coming to the wedding"

"Thank you"- she said- "Hanna is special for us. Hongbin was very worried about her. She wasn't looking good"

"I know"

"I'll leave you to rest"- after 30 minutes he ended unpacking with sweat in his face. 

"Was it this difficult for you?"- he layed in his bed and panthed for 5 minutes. He looked to the roof and sighed- "What should I do?"

"What should I do?"- taking a bath he noticed his ribs sticking to his skin. After the bath he took his guitar and started playing. Taekwoon was able to fell in the music. His thoughts waved in the rythm. He felt in peace and he wanted to sleep suddenly.

And then the dream...

"Baby. What took you so long?"- she asked grabbing his shirt collar and arranging it-" We're going to be late to your sister's wedding"- he looked to his side. Hanna was still there looking at him.

"I have to take Hanna too"- he said without thinking- "My sister is waiting..."

"You know it hurts? When you speak to her... it hurts me"

"I'm sorry... I don't want to hurt you"

"Can we get back to how it was before? We always faced everything together. It was umbreakable... our love"

"I know. We are still..."

"How can I believe you... even now, you keep looking at her"- he realized it was true. He hadn't stopped looking at Hanna. He was waiting for something, for some sort of reaction out of her. But Hanna didn't move, didn't even blinked.

"Just a second..."- he said to MinHee and left her to walk to Hanna- "Aren't you gonna say anything to me?"- Hanna looked at him, her lips parted a bit as if she was about to say something, but restrained herself. He had seen it so many times already. She wanted to say something but restricted herself- "Just say it"

"Are you ok?"- she whispered.

"What?"

"You look so thin, so pale..."- she softly touched his face- "Does it hurt?"- her hand send a warm wave through his body.

"It does"- he said closing her eyes- "Why did you leave?"- she opened her eyes. Finally, some reaction.

"I..."- she said and avoided his eyes. She walked two steps out of his reach- "I want you to be happy. But I got greedy... I want to be happy too"

"So, you are leaving?"

"It's the best thing I can do"

"We can find another way..."

"It hurts"- she said- "It hurts so much... you've felt it? The intense cold... I can't... handle it anymore. It hurts but... He makes it go away"- He tried to reach to her, but she took another two steps away- "You'll be with MinHee, and I'll be with him. We'll be fine"- and she smiled -"We can be happy"

"I don't want to be without you..."- but Hanna walked back again. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak either. He could just stay there and watched how she stepped away. Right there he realized... she would never come back. She was happy, she was smiling, after all the pain he gave her... How could he hold on to her?

He woke up with Jiae's touch. The sun was rising, but he had neve felt colder. He was drenched in cold sweat.

"Oppa...Are you ok?"- Jiae was pale. Taekwoon wasn't fine, he was so cold his fingertips were almost purple- "What's going on?"

"Call Daejung"- he managed to say, he knew something was very wrong. Jiae obeyed and went looking for the phone. Taekwoon kept trembling in his bed. He didn't have enough strenght to get up. Jiae talked to the manager and he assured her he'll be there in no time.

"Oppa... please... tell me what's wrong"- she sat next to him and put his head on her lap.

"I need her"- he said lowly and turned for Jiae to hug him. She hugged him- "I don't want to be without her..."

"I'll call MinHee..."

"Hanna..."- he fainted.

When he opened his eyes, he was at the hospital. An oxigen mask over his mouth. His body weighted the double, he couldn't move. He could hear his mom freaking out at the doctor. The man was trying to explain the reaction to the soulmate withdrawal.

"But he... he hadn't found his soulmate! How could this be!"- his mom didn't knew. He had hid it from her, it would've killed her if he had said he was taking his soulmate and MinHee together on tour. Jiae had to explain the whole situation. His mother couldn't believe it, she started crying.

"Mom..."- he mustled.

"Taekwoon, please call her. Call your soulmate"- she cried- "You are going to die!"

"I can take this omma"- he said breathing in the mask- "She's... happy"

"Oppa..."- he couldn't keep his eyes open. He wanted to stay awake but it was too much to handle. He slept over the day, all night too. His body was making him so. While he was on drugs, it didn't hurt as much, but the cold never left. His mom tried to feed him several times, but he couldn't chew. The doctor decided to put an IV. He could only think of Jiae and Hongbin. They were sitting next to each other holding hands in that horrible sofa in front of his bed. They should be getting ready to get married and he ed it up.

"I'm sorry"- he said to Hongbin- "I... broke her heart"

"Hyung"- he got near- "She sent me a messege, she's already in Seoul. Let me call her"

"Don't. She's with her family"

"Hyung you could die"

"I won't die. Promise me you won't call her"- He had to fight this alone, as she did. He kept sleeping, he could hear everything around him though. The doctors, his mother and father, Jiae and Hongbin. They were trying to inform the guests that the wedding was called off.

"I'm sorry... I didn't want to ruin it. I didn't want to hurt the people I love. I'm just an idiot"

They slept in the hospital at his side. Another feverish dream. Hanna was with that guy... outside her little apartment. He knew the apartment. He had gone 5 times before. That week, before leaving on tour, he followed Hanna's steps back to her apartment. Even when he was always the first to leave, he was too curious... of her. He followed her back to her apartment every time.

She was with Hakyeon, she seemed fine. "That's good" . Hakyeon was good to her, but it hurted too much.

"Hello?"- the voice of Hongbin made him wake up- "Hanna?... Yes... Why didn't you call me yesterday?... I was waiting for your call..."- Taekwoon hold his breath- "I figure that much... I'm good..."- Hongbin got up and walked to the hall, but Taekwoon could still hear him- "I'm at the hospital"

"Don't tell her about me"

"Calm down, it's not me"- he whispered. Taekwoon knew he was trying to hide it from him- "It's Taekwoon-hyung..."

"You shouldn't have told her!"

"Hanna...Hanna! HANNA!"- Hongin screamed. In that moment the pain in Taekwoon's body increased. What was going on? He tried to get up but his body was too weak. He reached for the controler of the automatic bed and pushed the bottom. He wanted to see what Hongbin was doing. He could see him trying panicking in the hall and pushing his phone rapidly- "Auntie... pick up... PICK UP! Auntieee!... Hanna fainted... I was talking to her and suddenly she just colapsed...."- Taekwoon alredy knew, he felt it- "Listen to me! She's in the road to the bakery near the main street. Bring her to Ssiuhi hospital... yeah. Give me a call when you get here"

"Hong..."- Takewoon tried to speak, but he was out of breath. Hongbin went to him.

"I'm sorry hyung... Hanna's coming"

"You shouldn't have..."

"I had to, she would've found out why we canceled the wedding anyway. I'll wait in the emergency room"

It took hours, or at least Taekwoon felt like that. He couldn't stop staring at the door, waiting for Hongbin to come back. The steps on the hallway, he could hear them all. He was nervous... was she alright? was she in pain? what was he going to say? Should he let her go?... A terrible headache was coming again. He couldn't keep his eyes opened. Untill the footsteps he heared from the hallway entered the room.

"Let me down"- he heared. 

"She's here. Can I open my eyes? It's not a dream, is it? Open your eyes!"

He made a great effort but finally he could see her. Standing in front of him. It was so clear, so right. He had to be there, with her. She had to be there with him. Th emptiness, the coldness started fading already.

"I..."- she tried to say.

"I'm sorry... I love you"

"Yeah..."

"I love you. I shouldn't have let you go. I didn't want to hurt you. I'm just a coward. I'm sorry"

And as if his eyes spoke, she made room for her in the bed and placed herself between his arms. She was warm and nice. - "I'm sorry..."- she whispered

"You did nothing wrong"

"I'm sorry"- He finally could move his limb hand and her hair.

"It's my fault"

"I should've come to you"-Her hands in his back made him recover the warmness rapidly. He moved his hand and made her look at him in the eye.

"I'm so sorry. I hurted you for so long... I... need to tell you so much. I'm so powerless... I should've said it in Paris, I should've said it in the restaurant the day we met. I was so afraid. I can't speak my mind easily... I can't express myself"

"I'll make it go away. Everything is going to be ok"- she kept rubbing her hands to his back. He felt his blood boiling and he could swear he even had red cheaks. She started mumbling a song- " I tried spending a day without you... but the hellish pain traps me... I need to love without you... But I don't even have the smallest space... but again this day... I only say you name..."- the feels the little puffs of her breathing in his shirt made him relax- "I shout to you... but I'll go unheared... Even so... today... I again only shout your name"

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Annyeong!! Thank you for reading this chapter as well! I broke my own record publishing two chapters this week!  And this one is a bit longer... :D. I'm sorry to say sorry that much. And I'm sorry if you find ortography or redaction problems I actually wrote this over night so... I didn't want to edit it much.

I hope Taekwoon's point of view of the whole thing can add a bit of perspective to everything. 

Added a little moment between them at the end XD. If you have curiosity: the song Hanna was singing is FT-Island's-Madly. If you are interested here's the official MV  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkVjIkWHqLI and the translated + hangul + romantized lyrics http://colorcodedlyrics.com/2013/11/ftisland-madly-michidolog. I really love Hongki's voice in this... ballad? well it perfectly sutted the whole situation so she sang it to him....

Too much pain everywhere... why does people hide their feelings from each other? Well we're all quite complicated when our hearts are on the line.

Expect an update before Sunday! (I hope)

I leave you with a reminder... Those two loves each other in real life <3 Let's dote on them a little

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