Three weeks only? Well, I must have made a mistake while counting or what. It´s not weeks but three days only! Three days and Christmas is here. You think why I am making such ruckus about it, right? Let me explain then. I swore in my head that I´ll let Donghae influence my life until the end of this year and then I´ll let go. I made many brave statements about my future and the way I want to live. About how I want to have a pretty wife and a good job. But now with only a few days left, I´m panicking inside. Instead of being happy, that the troublesome mirror man would leave finally, I´m scared to be left alone.

“Hyukjae!”

The troublesome mirror man once again disturbed my thoughts. I turned around only to gasp in shock. There he was, Lee Donghae, standing in the hallway but thoroughly hidden in the forest.

“Are you kidding me?!”

I began scolding him because, let´s be honest, only an idiot can bring home such a huge Christmas tree. It was so huge that it filled the whole hallway and my head was already spinning when imagining the mess that would remain.

“I chose the prettiest! Isn´t it pretty, Hyukjae?”

Donghae´s voice came from behind the green branches and it sounded proud and excited, complete opposite of my own one. And the worst was that I felt it again. That horrible feeling of being a guest in my own house.

“Whatever. I´m not doing anything. You put it up, decorate it and clean the mess.”

Just like always my own thoughts let me down and I stepped back. Instead of fighting the stubborn male, I began quietly submitting and agreeing to whatever he wanted. But although I did that, I still felt annoyed inside.

“But it´s no fun doing it alone, Hyukjae. You don´t understand Christmas at all.”

Donghae whined and although he didn´t mean anything bad, I was sure. It made me even more irritated. True, what would a loner like me know about Christmas, right? Isn´t it a day for couples? Stupid Donghae.

“If you don´t like it, throw it away. I don´t care.”

I flared up in the end and since I couldn´t escape the house, the forest still taking the whole entrance, I locked myself in the bedroom. Inwardly I felt like a sulking child but I didn´t want to be a grown up anymore. I was old, my time was ticking. This was my last Christmas in my twenties and I was scared.

I glanced at the huge ancient mirror and as if being enchanted I sat on the parquets in front of it. I was looking at myself and wondering how long this ugly face a weak mind could keep going. I talked big quite often. Talking about how awesome and handsome I am. How it´s impossible to take me down because I´ll always stand up. I always say I´m fine with being useless but sometimes I get drowned and feel depressed too. And it´s Christmas so don´t blame me.

“Eh?” I got startled for a moment.

Was it just my imagination or did the mirror blink for a second? I turned around to find the cause of the strange light but instead the light appeared in an unexpected place. In my mind to be precise. My thoughts had changed and I got an awesome idea. An idea I hoped would release my anxiety and show me some proper future. I needed a goal and a will to live my life proudly. It´s not like I wouldn´t live at all, if I hadn´t found a sense for it. No, I would live it but in times I would surely find myself sitting in front of this huge mirror, wondering about myself.

“Hyukjae?” Donghae got worried and knocked on the door. He found it locked and began knocking louder, calling my name. I felt guilty for worrying him when he really just wanted to make me happy. I knew it, I knew what was in his mind but I ignored it. I would make it up for him later if I´m given a chance. “Hyukjae answer me!” Another desperate call made me act.

I jumped up and walked towards the door. I leaned against the wood and sighed. Donghae felt my presence from the other side of the door and the knocking stopped.

“Hyukjae? Are you there?” He said in a low voice and I too could feel him leaning against the door.

“Yeah, I´m here, Donghae,” I answered in an equally quiet voice.

“Are you alright?” The worried tone in his honey like voice made me smile. It was a nice feeling and I almost didn´t want to break the sweet scented atmosphere.

“Donghae?” Instead of answering I gave another question and a low hum came from the other side of the door. “Can you look after the apartment and Choco for me?”

“Hyukjae, what-“

“You need to walk her in the morning and then after work. If it´s cold like today, she wears the jacket that is in the cupboard in the hallway,” I ignored all Donghae´s attempts to speak. “I´ll come back for sure so don´t neglect the cleaning or else I´ll find out,” I chuckled but it wasn´t funny, really.

“I´m scared,” came a quiet breath after a while and my heart almost stopped, “I´m so scared, Hyukkie. Don´t say stuff like that, please.” Donghae pleaded.

The pleadings and whining continued tirelessly and the heartbreaking sound coming from the living room made me back away. Why was Donghae weeping so painfully? Is he that worried about me? Is he scared because of me?

No way, it must be because of himself. He would be left here alone without me. But you aren´t alone anymore Donghae! You have Henry and Leeteuk and all those friends from your new work. Soon you won´t want me, you won´t miss me. A person like me. A useless person like me is of no worth and of no need. Get used to living without me a give me my freedom. Because Donghae…

“…you became so dear to me.”

“Hyukjae?! Hyukjae, what´s wrong?! Are you still there?!”

The knocking resumed and I knew it was the time to leave. I climbed on my bed and stood on the corner facing the huge mirror. The raven haired man began kicking the wooden door and it was only a matter of time before he would break through. It was now or never. And so I jumped.

When Donghae barged into the bedroom, there was no Hyukjae anymore.

Hello! I´m sooooo sorry for not updating. This must be the longest time in history I took a break. What to say. The last year was difficult. I felt so drained but the air feels a little better nowadays (and it´s full of smog over here too). I guess I would like to finish this story soon, it´s a little uncomfortable for me to write this one. Hyukjae is a little depressing and I´m the cause of it, duh. So the next chapter should be the ending. Please don´t be mad at me and I promise to start a new story after that too :) Super Junior One fine day - makes me want to write a little cuter eunhae :D Aww, they are so funny and cute I just want to eat them  up! :P Anyway, To all of you I wish a happy new year 2015. Quantum of good luck and happiness, good health and bunch of kindness. Be well! - From PandaHero