*this story is a weird HS AU that mixes American school with Korean age xD, so that means that it follows the ‘you’re an adult at 19’ in Korea rather than the ‘you’re an adult at 18’ in America* 

 

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“Does it hurt around here?” The doctor in front of me presses on my wrist and I wince. He gauges my reaction as he continues to press up and down my arm. “Now, try to grab my hand as hard as you can without feeling pain.”

I take a deep breath, moving my arm over to grip his hand. I do my best to put in as much strength as I can. The doctor nods his head and gets to his feet. “Is everything okay?” I question and he gives me a light smile.

“I’ll talk with the nurse about the new medication, but it seems that we can switch you to a brace earlier than planned. Sit tight, I will be right back Mark.” The door closes behind him and I slump into my chair.

When I had woke up this morning, my mother informed me that I wouldn’t be going to school because of a doctor’s appointment. I guess I had forgotten about it, either way, I’m grateful for it. I can avoid meeting Jiho this way, and also calm myself down. Yesterday was intense, and even now I really don’t know how to react when I see GOT7 again. 

Frankly speaking, my head’s one big mess right now.

“Here we go,” the doctor comes in with a long rectangle-like shaped box, opening it to reveal the brace. “Now I’m going to show you how to do it, and then I want you to try it yourself.”

I nod. “Okay.” 

After a handful of tries, I’m able to put the brace on alone. With a new prescription and a light hearted smile, I meet my mother in the lobby. Going home is full of my mother rejoicing over my healing arm, and me jumping in here and there when she looks at me for some answers. I can’t lie, I’m just as happy as she is, I mean it just means I’m one step closer to giving Im Jaebum a nice hard slug to the face, but I can’t seem to lift the mood I’ve come under since last night.

“Now, the doctor still needs you to rest, so don’t do anything crazy this weekend.” My mother demands and I nod, but then remember something really, really important.

“Uh, mom,” I begin and notice two people standing in front of our house. However, I brush it off for a few minutes. “I forgot to ask, but is it okay for me to sleep over Yugyeom’s house this weekend?”

“Oh? I haven’t seen that boy in a while, but everything should be fine as long as you rest.” She smiles and then I’m too close to my house to ignore the people in front of it anymore. I grit my teeth, eyes narrowing.

Kyung. ing hell, this dude does not give up. I glance to see a well dressed guy behind him. He’s not that much taller, but he has a serious look on his face, so I assume he’s Kyung’s butler, like the guy from last time.

I quicken my pace, walking right up to Kyung’s face. “What the hell are you doing here Kyung?" I hiss.

Kyung only gives me his usual business smile, and just as I’m about to open my mouth to say something foul, my mother smacks me over the head making me yelp. “That isn't how I taught you to talk to people older than you! He's your Hyung!"

“How…did you…?” Then I freeze, putting it together. When I had walked away from Kyung that time he came to bring me to school, he had stood in the front of my house. So that means…he waited in order to talk to my mother. I look at Kyung with a distasteful look. Just what the hell did he say to her?

Kyung laughs, arm coming out to pull me in close to him. It makes my skin crawl to the point that I think I might throw up. I try to push him away, but with my hand not ready for the world just yet, I fail. .

“It's fine Mrs. Tuan. Actually Mark and I are pretty close. He's like a close friend!" 

“Bull." I huff under my breath and I can see my mother smile. She must be happy since she thinks I have more friends now. I guess I shouldn’t burst her bubble so quickly then. “Anyway, friend let go, my arm hurts." 

Without protest Kyung moves away and notices that the cast on my arm is gone, and replaced with a brace instead. I take that time to retreat safely back over to my mother, where his grimy little hands couldn’t reach me. I’ll have to remind myself to burn these clothes later. 

Just as I think I’m safe, the butler guy moves towards me and it’s so out of no where, I can’t help but flinch. “What are you," I stop talking when the butler guy pulls my hand up to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on the brace. I can hear my mother gasp in surprise. “Uh, what the hell...?"

Was this some kind of sick joke? Cause, last time I checked, I am NOT laughing. 

“I was worried when I had heard you'd been hurt Mark." The butler's voice is so soft, as if he thought I were some sleeping baby or something. “Now that I can see it with my own eyes, I'm happy to know you are getting better."

I shiver, feeling grossed out. I quickly snatch my hand away. Okay, now I’m really confused. “Who the hell are you?"

The butler guy frowns and Kyung comes over to put an arm around the guy's shoulder. By this time, my mom has her hands on her hips. I brace myself, that’s her infamous nagging pose. “How could you treat the guy who had looked after you in elementary school like that? I am really starting to believe you threw out all your manners! Have I not raised you better than this?" 

My mother’s words stop making sense after her first sentence, and I gulp. Wait…did she say…elementary school? My eyes widen as I stare at the guy before me. 

I’m assuming that Kyung can see the visible shock on my face as it pales, and maybe a little of something else, because he motions for my mom to take a small walk toward the limo he’d come in. Without question, my mother goes with him, leaving me and the guy to stare at each other. 

It was a nightmare. I literally avoided school so I wouldn't have to face this, yet, here I am, forced to face it. I could feel a slight tremble in my hands. . . Damn it, I ing hate Kyung.

“Jiho...Hyung." I find myself taking a few steps back, as if ready to run if given the cue. The guy – Jiho frowns.

“You never used to call me that, come on. Call me how you used to Mark." He smiles a little and I find myself taking another step back. I don’t like this. I don’t like this at all. What the hell do I do? I could hear my heart hammering in my ear. I don’t know what to do.

This guy is not Zico Hyung. He isn't. Zico Hyung was…is my hero, my role model, the best Hyung. Damn it. Stop it Mark. Stop it. He may be Zico Hyung…but, no, this guy, this guy is a monster. 

Okay…so, I know he’s a monster...but it’s a whole different feeling than the one I had listening to Youngjae talk about him, and all the ty-ed up things he did. I was angry and hated him and wanted to punch him on sight. However, why…am I being overwhelmed with a different kind of feeling right now?

A feeling I know all too well. It was one that always clung to me growing up, and every time I stood up for himself. A feeling of familiarity. A feeling of gratefulness and pride. Even though Jiho Hyung is a monster...inwardly...hidden deep within himself, somehow, I know he really is....

“Zico Hyung." My voice comes out softly, eyes locking with the older guy. In that instant, I couldn’t help but feel like a child again. As if Zico Hyung never left, and he never changed. It was horrible, extremely horrible. I can't control this inner urge to want to talk and smile and thank Zico Hyung like I had always wanted to do if we ever met again. 

“There you go! That's the cute little Mark I know." Jiho – Zico Hyung reaches his hand out and ruffles my hair and smiles the softest of smiles, as if I were the most precious thing in the world. As if I were still that little snot-nosed brat that used to get bullied. I can feel my face flush. What in the world is going on with me? Why haven’t I punched this in the face yet? Why…am I being so docile? I’m never like this. 

“I'm not cute. Anyway, w-why are you here Hyung?" My usual bite is gone even though I wanted to hold my ground, just like I normally do with GOT7. “Shouldn't you be in school?"

“It's still early, the teachers said I could take my time and come back whenever I wanted. When I had heard you were going to be home today, I decided to come see you instead." Zico Hyung reaches out his hand, softly taking my injured one into a gentle grip. “I know you just got back, but...would you mind coming with Hyung for a little bit? I want to talk with you...in a more private place."

I tense up. Damn it, Mark spit in his face. Tell him to go himself or something. Just don’t – I find myself nodding my head as if in a trance. Clearly it must be opposite day, because I really don’t know what the hell is happening. It’s like my mind and body aren’t in sync anymore. .

I stare into Zico Hyung’s nice brown eyes. How could I have been so blind before? Every inch of this guy's face screams Zico Hyung. He grew up well, I couldn't help but think. Then again, he had always been good looking. 

“Take your time coming back," my mom announces as Zico Hyung leads me toward the limo. I really wonder if this was all preplanned by Kyung and my mother that day they talked. Why isn’t she more surprised by all of this? “You all must have a lot to talk about!"

Without thinking, I wave goodbye to my mother and get in the limo after Zico Hyung opens the door for me. Kyung opens the door to the passenger seat, all the way in the front. That left Zico Hyung and I in the back alone, however, the drive over to wherever the hell we were going is long and quiet. 

Zico Hyung doesn't let go of my hand, and for some unknown reason, I can't find it in myself to push him away, as if I’d always been craving his touch. I gulp. If I don't get my together, there is going to be some serious problems…I just know it. 

We end up at a fairly large apartment complex, not as big as GOT7’s, but still big enough to rival it. The place is about 40 minutes from my house, and almost an hour away from school. I wonder who’s house this is. Last time I checked, Zico Hyung was adopted in America, maybe it’s Kyung’s house? 

When inside, we part ways with Kyung as he heads upstairs, an annoying smile on his face that just screamed he’d like an kicking. With a light tug of my hand, Zico Hyung leads me toward a different part of the house. He opens the door to a room, and I’m surprised to see it looked similar in some way to the room I remember him having in elementary school. It’s huge and the walls were a soft baby blue and the things in the room screamed of his love for animals, helping others, and his need to achieve academic success. I take a deep breath, feeling overwhelmed again.

“You can take a seat on my bed,” Zico Hyung insists, finally letting my hand go. I cautiously take a seat, nervous as he walks over and sits at his desk. Just what in the world is this guy planning?

“You know, I had always worried about you after I graduated Mark. The kids were always so brutal for no reason to you, and you, you were always too nice to fight back.” Zico Hyung smiles softly, maybe he’s picturing the younger, more crybaby Mark right now. “I had wanted to go back, but I had school and finding you in your school would be hard. So in the end, I had to give up. Then, in middle school, my parents were murdered and I became an orphan.”

“Though, I was very lucky to be adopted by good parents in America, but I couldn’t stay there for too long. I had grown up all my life in Korea. I couldn’t adjust as well as my little sister did, which is why I came back. So, I’ve been living with Kyung’s family during school sessions.” Zico Hyung’s expression falls, and he takes in a deep breath. I know it must be really hard on him. No one wants to remember hard things, no one. 

I bite my lip, trying to figure out if it was okay for me to feel pained for Zico Hyung. Was that okay? Even though…he did all that bad stuff…isn’t it okay to think that I feel bad for him? 

Without warning I’m pushed onto the bed, Zico Hyung on top of me, pulling me into a tight hug. “Woah, what the?” I tense up. When the hell did he get on the bed? Hell, why am I not doing anything about this?

“I've missed you so much Mark. When that man tried to kill me too, the first face that popped into my head was yours, Mark. I had wanted to see you, help you, but I couldn’t and I just didn’t want to die like that. When I had woke up in the hospital, I had wondered how you dealt with it all. How you kept smiling even though things were rough for you. I didn’t think I could do it. I didn’t think I could be as strong as you." Zico Hyung whispers, and I could hear his voice shake as if he were going to cry. “It was so hard...it has been so hard. Mark. I'm so happy that I was able to live that day. I’m so happy that I can meet you again. I've lived this long so that I can hug you again."

I can feel my heart squeeze in the worse way, and I shut my eyes. The Zico Hyung who only ever smiled, who only ever was a rock to me…is crumbling right above me. It hurt. It hurt a lot more than it should. Damn it. I feel my arms twitch at my side, aching to give him a hug back. Wanting to embrace the guy who always had my back. 

I used to love hugs that were given to me by Zico Hyung. They were always warm and loving. But now, no, I can’t let myself keep being swept up in this little current he had us going in.

“Get off of me." My bite is back, finally, and with as much strength as I had, I’m able to push Zico Hyung away from me. It’s enough to see the water that clouded his eyes. Stay strong Mark. Stay strong.  

“Mark?"

I find myself desperately reaching into my pocket, hand finding and holding tightly onto the locket. This monster hurt GOT7, including Yugyeom. I’m not about to let this guy have his way. No way in hell! 

“What the hell are you planning Zi – Jiho Hyung? Why the hell did you bring me here?" Zico Hyung looks visibly surprised, and moves to sit on the bed more comfortably, I sit up as well in order to look at him with narrowed eyes. That’s it Mark, that’s it. 

“Why are you being so distant with me Mark?"

“I already know what you did to them Hyung. So don't come to me trying to act like you’re innocent. You are NOT Zico Hyung."

“Mark...."

“The Zico Hyung I knew wasn't some selfish monster that would step over people and nearly kill someone for no reason." I could already tell that my voice showed just how hurt I was by my hero. How disappointed I was, how disgusted I was. Zico Hyung's face pales, just as mine had done the moment I realized it was him.

Zico Hyung begins to laugh sadly, as if trying to find humor in his falling mood. “So...you know everything?"

I don’t say anything and Zico Hyung continues. “It's funny how the only person I didn't want to know about that time...knows. I really didn't want you to find out Mark."

“Why? So you could step all over me too?" I growl and get to my feet, ready to stomp out of the room and leave this oppressive feeling behind me, but Zico Hyung springs up and pulls me into a back hug. It was strange. I couldn’t quite tell when my body trembles stopped and when his started.

“No!" He cries. “I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want you to hate me Mark. I'm sorry...Hyung disappointed you. I know...if I could take it back, I would. I was scared back then Mark...I was so scared and I just didn't know what to do. I just…lost it."

“So, let me get this straight? You’re trying to justify your actions with useless excuses?" My voice is cold, and Zico Hyung continues to tremble. 

“No...no I'm not, I know I can't take it back and I probably can't even do anything to fix what I had done...but I just want you to know that Hyung isn't like that anymore. I'm trying to be better. I won't do anything to hurt others anymore. I wasn't joking about what I had said earlier."

“You don't understand what your existence means to me. You are the only thing that I have done right in my whole life. You are the only one who I helped and bettered and who knows how I was before. You, Mark, you are the only thing keeping me together. I can't change the past, but I can better the future, and if you’re there...Mark, I really think I can do something about this problem."

“Let me go." My voice is still cold. I can’t let him win me over so easily. I can’t let it happen. “The ones who need to hear you cry and beg for forgiveness is not me."

“I won't let go! Mark, I can't lose you again. I can't...I really won't know what to do if you push me away right now. I want to fix this. Please Mark...please don't push me away. Please help me." His voice shakes again and I can feel how damp my shoulder is, Zico Hyung's face pressed into my shoulder.

Damn…I said all that, yet, I want to help him. I want to give him a hand just as he had always done for me. I groan internally. 

GOT7 would kill me for being close to Jiho. Youngjae said that talking about the Zico Hyung  from the past was okay, however Jiho was a whole different story. They hate this guy. 

I take a deep breath and find my eyes wandering around the room again. Everything looks well used and loved and that’s when my eyes lock on his desk. When I had visited his house as a child a few times, I had never seen pictures of him and his family in his room. Yet, on his desk, for the first time, was a picture of a family. None of the people in the picture looked alike. The father was smiling lovely, the mother had eyes that seemed to scream how much she cherished her two kids. The younger sister looked to have a bright-strong-willed personality, and the son, Zico Hyung, looked as if that family was all he had left in the world. He was smiling as big as he could, as if he had heard the funniest joke just as the picture was being taken. 

I really can’t help but feel as if Zico Hyung grew up from the events that took place in the JYP house years before. Maybe he really did change? I mean, I took a change with Wooyoung Hyung, with Jackson. Heck, I took a huge risk with GOT7 and I don’t regret it.

“What…do you need me to do for you…Hyung?" My voice comes out strained and I wonder if he knows the sort of mental battle I had to go through just to say those words to him. 

“Just don’t abandon me Mark." Zico Hyung isn’t crying anymore, but he wasn’t letting me out of the back hug he had me in either. “It won’t be for long...just enough so that I can stand on my own...and approach them."

“I’m sure you know that they hate you more than anything, Hyung. They may even try to kill you on the spot."

“I know. I don't mind...I deserve whatever they give me." Zico Hyung's voice shows just how defeated he really was inside, and I find my hand slipping back into my pocket again. I close my eyes, and I can feel the shaky heart of Zico Hyung pressed against my back. 

“I'm happy you know."

 

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“I’ve already told you Noona,” I sigh deeply into my phone, embracing the fact that I can now hold it in my left hand without being in immense amount of pain. “No one is forcing me to say this against my will. I’m fine. I’m home, Noona, seriously I can even prove – okay, now you just sound crazy. I.AM.HOME.”

“It’s just that you never miss school, I thought maybe something bad happened.” Min Noona says in a worried tone and I chuckle.

“I went to the hospital to check on my arm. They finally took the cast off, but now I have to wear a brace. I’m not too sure for how long though.” I yawn and I could almost hear the smile in her chipper voice.

“That’s good! Hey guys, Mark’s fine. He got his cast off now.” Min Noona informs the others and I can hear the rowdiness of the lunch room around them. “Everyone misses you Mark, I thought today would be dramatic, but it seems Jiho never came.”

“It hasn’t been that long since I last saw you guys.” I roll my eyes playfully even though I know she can’t see, but I had to admit that being home was boring as hell. I did wish I was at school, but at the same time. Jiho didn’t go to school because I didn’t, which means my high school life is about to get more complicated. “Uh, Noona?”

“Yeah?”

Wait…is it really a good idea to tell her about Jiho? “Have you…seen any GOT7 members today?” I chicken out and Min Noona laughs.

“Oooh~ I see someone misses his babies, hey, hey, Jaebum, Mark wants to talk on the phone with you.” She teases and I panic. 

“Wait! Noona, I didn’t –“ 

“So, you miss me Mark?” Im Jaebum’s usual mocking tone is there, but it’s different this time. It’s more playful, and less harsh. I gulp. I am not ready for any GOT7 interaction. Damn it.

“Who would miss you, Jaebum?” I try to sound as natural as possible. I can’t even remember how I used to talk to him. It’s hard to get the image of him as a child, ready to take his own life, out of my head. “I’m surprised you’re at lunch with my friends. Don’t you hate people?”

“Your friends? They’re my friends as well.” His voice tells me just how annoyed he is, and I find myself blinking a few times. Youngjae had made it very clear that GOT7 shut out outsiders, yet, here Im Jaebum was, admitting to having friends other than his brothers. Maybe Youngjae wasn’t joking when he said I was what they needed. 

I am what fixed them, well, somewhat fixed them.

“Yeah, yeah, if you have friends now, then the world is definitely going to end.” I laugh, and wow, I just laughed because of Im Jaebum. Things are getting weird. “Did Youngjae tell you guys that I’m going to be sleeping over this weekend?”

“Huh? Seriously?” He actually sounds pleasantly surprised. “Nah, he didn’t say anything, but it’s fine. I should go get you.” The last part is said more to himself, and it makes me feel strange. I can’t quite place the feeling.

“No way, just tell me the address and I’ll head over later.” I make a face and Im Jaebum ignores me.

“Be ready to go in 10 minutes. I’ll pick you up and bring you over.” His voice makes it sound like a command and without hearing what I have to say, he hangs up. This guy. Doesn’t he know what time it is? What’s the point of him trying to be a better student if he’s just going to leave school midway?   

I guess once a delinquent, always a delinquent.

Packing doesn’t take me long and I sit in my living room waiting for Im Jaebum to show up. My mother went to work after I left with Zico Hyung earlier, so luckily I don’t have to explain to her that I’m leaving way earlier than I should, and that…I’m being picked up by a guy. I sigh. That sounds weird as hell.  

The door bell rings and I don’t bother to see who it is, already well aware it was the leader, a serious look on his face as usual. He reaches his arm out, and I raise an eyebrow at him. “Are you trying to hold my hand, or what? Because, if you are, you should buy me dinner first.”

“Are you stupid?” He growls and reaches forward to pull my bag away from me. “Anyway, let’s go. Everyone’s at home, excited for you to arrive, even JYP Hyung.”

“Weren’t you all turning into good students? It’s only 12:30! Why are none of you in school?” I shake my head and he puts a finger in his ear, as if to try to half-heartedly block the sound of my voice out.

“Look, it’s rare for JYP Hyung to come home. So we stood in to spend the day with him before he leaves again.”

“Wait…weren’t you in school just now though?”

He shifts his eyes away from mine. “I went to see how you were doing. Got a problem with that?”

I raise both of my hands up in defeat. Im Jaebum being caring…still feels kind of weird. Can’t tell if I like it, or dislike it. “No, no, not at all. Please carry on.”

Im Jaebum makes a few glances at me as we walk, making me feel a bit awkward. “Stop looking at me. It’s creepy as hell, dude.”

“It’s just, your arm is getting better. I thought it would take longer. I’m happy to see that’s not the case.” He smiles and I shiver. The world…is definitely…without a doubt, ending. “What’s the first thing you want to do when you’re all healed?”

“Kick your .” I state simply, and he gives me the bizarrest of looks.

“Can’t you be more realistic? Like, say you’re gunna solve world peace or something?”

“ you.”

“See, now that can happen.” He grins and I make a face of pure disgust. 

It makes him laugh, and he puts an arm around my shoulder. I can feel my whole body shake as his does, just as I had felt my body tremble as Zico Hyung’s did. I bite my lip. This and that Mark, are completely different feelings. “Never change Mark, never change.”

As we finally get into the elevator to take us to the higher floors, I finally work up the courage to ask Im Jaebum if we can stop at the lower level of the JYP House. “I’ve heard you have one, but I’ve never seen it before.” Doing my best to hide the fact that I know it’s origins. 

“Sure, I guess.” Im Jaebum shrugs and presses the floor below their house. “It’s nothing special, just used as a guest house for relatives and business partners of Hyung if they come visit.”

When the doors open I can almost taste the nostalgia in the air. The place looked to have been renovated fairly recent, and it looks nothing as I had imagined, but then again, I had only pictured white walls and hordes of children, or doctors by the hundreds going in and out, or Jiho. I pictured Jiho snaking through these hallways, a horribly evil smile on his lips as he throws Youngjae’s medicine in the air. 

 “Mark?”

Im Jaebum is looking into my face, waving his hand about. “Were you even listening to me?” When I blink a few times, still lost in the coattails of my thoughts, he sighs. “I said that we should hurry up. So, I’ll give you a quick tour.”

I nod my head and he motions for me to follow him down a narrow hallway, toward the living room. “So back in the day, Hyung used to foster kids all the time. The only one that came in through the foster care system was Yugyeom though. The rest of us, we uh, we just kind of found our way here.” He clears his throat, the memories that I knew held him down, clung tight to his shoulders.

As we get into the living room I can almost hear the residual footsteps and laughter of children playing and running around. I could almost see little Jimin, Jiho, and tiny Yugyeom sleeping on the floor, far away from the other kids.  

“The kids used to run around all the time down here, sometimes I came down here to check up on – uh, you know see if all the kids were killing each other or not. It was annoying, oh, over here is where Youngjae’s room used to be when he had gotten sick.” Im Jaebum steers clear of mentioning Jimin, and I wonder if she was ever able to get into contact with them after she left. Though, with that sort of reaction, I doubt she did.

My eyes travel to the small nameplate outside of the door way. It didn’t have a number on it, just simply stating Choi Youngjae in Korean and English. Im Jaebum continues to walk down the hall, toward the back of the house. I stop to touch the nameplate, to peek into the room. It was hard to breathe as I poked my head in. The room had probably underwent the most change, now being used as a mini library of all sorts of books, ranging from books for tots to books for adults. Maybe this is where Youngjae gets his Seventeen mags from?

As I look back into the hallway to see where Im Jaebum is, I could almost picture little Jimin skipping about, trailing behind him, probably humming a soft song. “None of the kids really came back here.” Im Jaebum says in a monotone sort of voice. “It was more for sleeping at night.”

At the end of the hall was four doors with one of them standing out considerably. All the doors were in their plain wooden brown color, while one door was painted a nice off white. It had a board on the door, I guess, guest could use it as a memo pad if they wanted.

This room…it has to be this room! Without thinking I push the white door open and just as the door swings open, I could hear it. I could hear the blood-curdling sound of tiny little Yugyeom losing his mind. I could hear the soft whispers of little kids trying to hide from the rest of the world, I could hear soft reading of a kid’s book. I could hear it all.

“This place, it’s mainly used as a sitting room. Guest don’t really like it too much though, and tend to just stay toward the front of the house.” Im Jaebum doesn’t take a step in the room. It was as if he couldn’t. I look at him for a split second before searching through the room, hands pressed to the wall. “What…are you doing?”

I ignore him and finally as I near the couch, I see it. I crouch down and can’t help but be amazed at how tiny the crawl space really was. I had thought it was larger. So that just meant that Bambam and Yugyeom were so very, very tiny at the time. 

Finally, after taking a deep breath, Im Jaebum walks over, shock on his face. “I'm surprised you found that...most people don't know it exist." 

I nod my head and get to my feet, hand instantly going into my pocket to squeeze the locket. If I concentrated hard enough, I could almost hear the sound of it scattering the glass window a few feet away, plunging down into the newly added park next door. “Yeah, it's definitely hidden well. We, we should probably go upstairs now."

“Sure…thing?” Im Jaebum gives me a look of bewilderment. He must think I’m weird for the way I’m acting, but I needed to see it. I needed to see the crawl space. I needed to see this apartment, to somehow bridge the gap between us all. 

It’s strange. I could feel it, I could feel it everywhere in this apartment. Nothing has disappeared, it’s all right here.

“Have you eaten?” I question as we head toward the stairs that connected the two apartments. 

“I was trying to eat, but then Taeil was showing me this sick move I could do on Kyung the next time he gets on my ing nerves.” Im Jaebum tries to imitate whatever the hell Taeil was teaching him. 

“Don’t go getting suspended, delinquent.”

“It would be so worth it in the end. Kyung’s face just makes me angry.” He narrows his eyes at a Kyung not present. I agree. 

As we leave the floor, the horribly tense air falls away from me. I finally feel like I can breathe deeply. Being down there felt like hell, and I never lived through anything that GOT7 has. I can’t even begin to imagine how any of them feel being down there after what happened.  

Like right now, how does Im Jaebum feel? It really must hurt, and feel ty, because even if he so desperately wanted to, he couldn't run from his past. 

None of them could.

 

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“Why, hello? It’s rare to have a guest.” JYP is sitting at the couch, newspaper in hand, reading glasses at the tip of his nose. Even though such a pose would give one the feel of being an old man, JYP on the other hand had this youthful glow in his face that made me think he was younger than he actually was. 

Im Jaebum walks over and places my bag on the floor near the couch. “Youngjae invited him over for the weekend.” He casually relays the information to his father and JYP takes his glasses off to get a better look at me.

I bow the instant we meet eyes. “My name is Tuan Mark. Last time, I never got to thank you properly for taking care of me when I was sick. So, thank you Mr. Park.” 

JYP laughs, putting his newspaper down. “Oh! You were that sick boy from that time. Now I remember you, I guess the hair change threw me off. It’s nice to see you again, no need to be so formal, just call me Jinyoung Hyung.”

I nod my head timidly. Even though he has a friendly aura, something about him tells me he’s no push over. “I hope it’s okay that I’m staying over Jinyoung Hyung.” Yeah, that feels weird to say, especially when I know Junior’s real name is also Jinyoung. 

“Don’t worry about it Mark. It sounds like fun.” JYP exclaims and Im Jaebum taps me on the shoulder.

“Come on Mark, the others are waiting in the back.” 

I bow and with a slight raise of JYP’s hand I freeze. “Mark? If I remember correctly from his medical papers, he’s your Hyung, Jaebum.”

“It doesn’t bother him.” Im Jaebum shrugs his dad’s words off. I grin as JYP’s eyes land on me. What a perfect opportunity to knock Im Jaebum, once again, off his high horse.

“It does.”

“Yah.” Im Jaebum hisses at me and JYP leans forward in his seat, eyes of a strict parent shining through. 

“Jaebum, you better start calling him Hyung, and if I hear you call him otherwise, we will be having some words. Got it?”

Im Jaebum tenses up a bit, face tinting a slight red in embarrassment. “Fine. Anyway, Mark Hyung. Let’s go.”

Im Jaebum stomps off as red as an apple, and I bow again to JYP who gives me a warm smile. “I’m happy that they have a friend like you Mark. Thank you for looking after my boys.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” 

“That’s right,” JYP gets to his feet quickly, grabbing a jacket and suitcase that lay hidden behind the couch until now. “I’ll be leaving for business and unfortunately will not be here for the rest of your stay. You are welcome to use my room or the guest apartment downstairs if you wish.”

“Ah, thank you.” I bow again and as he leaves I rush to find where Im Jaebum had went off to. “Where the hell did he go?” I grumble under my breath.

“You look tired Hyung. Are you okay?” Youngjae’s soft voice makes me look over to the side. He’s leaning on the wall near Jackson’s room, the one I stayed in last time. 

There he is! My savior and angel: Choi Youngjae. With a few strides I get close enough to whisper into his ear. “Can we talk somewhere else?”

He nods his head and leads me to the balcony in the living room. “So what’s bothering you Hyung? Is it about what I told you yesterday?” 

“Yeah.” I sigh moving so I can lean my arms on the railing, eyes locking on the nice view outside. “I guess I’m more overwhelmed than I thought I would be.” A slight breeze makes me shiver. I should have put a heavier jacket on earlier. 

“I knew it would effect you.” Youngjae leans his back on the railing with a soft chuckle. “That’s exactly why I told you.”

I give him a side glance. “That’s pretty messed up.”

“If you think about it,” he ignores my words and continues to talk. “It shows that you care and that you don’t want to push us away regardless of our background, right?” 

“Well, now I don’t know what to do with all these feelings, Youngjae.” I put my hands to my face. “I’m frustrated, and annoyed, and now whenever you guys are near me I wish I could change what happened to you guys. I know I can’t do anything though, and that’s hitting me so damn hard. I hate it, and I feel stuck.” 

“Why don’t you just tell us that?” He states simply and I look at him with disbelief.

“No way dude.”

“It would help.” 

“I don’t care, not doing it. Jaebum would never let me live it down and the others will make fun of me for it.”

“You’re right.” Youngjae puts his hand to his chin in thought. “Hm, I think I have another solution, but you won’t like it.”

“It can’t be worse than that.” I say as he moves so that his arms are wide open. “On second thought…maybe talking isn’t so bad after all.”

“Hey, I read that this helps a lot.” Youngjae stands his ground, arms still wide open. “So come on, give me a hug Hyung.”

“I don’t know, the first option seems really good actually.”

“Hyung.”

I bite the insides of my mouth. “Two guys hugging on a balcony alone, that’s a little….” Okay, so that’s a weak argument coming from me, but still. 

“Do I have to shout out to the whole neighborhood the things you have done with guys alone? I’m sure they’re just itching to know.” He smiles, a hint of mischief in his eyes. 

Angel? Did I really call him that before? I can definitely feel the Im Jaebum in him right now. “Evil.” I grumble as I hesitantly walk up to him, face tinting just a bit from embarrassment. 

“Don’t be shy Hyung.”

“Shut up,” I mumble as I stare at him. It was as if I somehow forgot how to hug someone. “So, I just, uh…hug you?”

He nods his head, serious look on his face. “Yup. Hug me. I’m not fragile.”

“Ah…okay.” That’s really not the problem here. Honestly. 

I walk forward, pulling him into my arms. He hugs back instantly. “Now, I want you to picture all of us as kids. The kids you want to help, that you wish you can help.” He instructs. “Then, take all of those frustrating feelings and give them to me, Hyung.”

“Seriously…this is weird.” I grumble more to myself.

“I’m not feeling anything over here Hyung.” He stops my grumbling and I sigh, losing to him. I nuzzle into his smaller form, closing my eyes.

Since the thought of younger GOT7 has been on my mind since last night, it’s not hard at all to picture them again as children. All so small and unable to stop the horrible events that will befall them. Unable to stop Jiho from hurting them. It’s painful. 

It’s so damn painful to know that all this time they have been holding this all in, trying to hide their scars from the rest of the world because they are scared. No, they’re terrified that something worse will happen if they trusted others again. And it ing to know that I just so conveniently happened to be connected to the monster who did it. I’m scared of knowing what that means to them. 

They’ve already been through so much. I don’t want to make it worse. I want to make it better. “It must have been hard.” I whisper, squeezing Youngjae tightly. He doesn’t say a word and I just continue to squeeze him until every ounce of frustration was gone; until my body ached at how tense I was, and my eyes hurt from how hard I squeezed them shut. 

When my muscles begin to relax, he pats me on the back. “Feel better?”

“Yeah, surprisingly.” I continue to hug him. It feels nice. I’m happy that GOT7 has someone like Youngjae with them. “Thank you Youngjae.”

“It’s no problem, I got this idea from a Seventeen magazine. I told you that stuff is really helpful.”

“Jeez, you –” We both tense up when we hear someone clear their throat nearby. We both whip our heads toward the entrance to the balcony. Im Jaebum stood, a hellish glare set on us. I gulp, feeling a sense of dread come over me. . This looks bad.

“Care to explain what the you two are doing?”

“B-brotherly love?” I manage to squeak out and Im Jaebum locks eyes with me. I move away from Youngjae as quickly as I can. Youngjae is looking back at Im Jaebum with the same serious eyes. 

“It’s just a hug.” He adds nonchalantly.

Im Jaebum makes no comment and simply sends me another glare before walking back into the house, not bothering to give us a second glance.

I sigh, looking at Youngjae. “You should go talk to him.”

“About what?” He crosses his arms. “There’s nothing to say.”

“Dude, I don’t think you understand JJ Project at all.” I lecture. “They both like you, you know, ually.”

He blinks confused. “What are you saying Hyung?”

“You…can’t be serious, right? Youngjae they both were touching and kissing you before. How could you not know?”

“Isn’t that just – ?”

“Don’t you dare say that that’s normal because you know that’s bull.” I hiss. “Im Jaebum is jealous right now, and plotting my death. I don’t even want to imagine what Junior would have done if he had seen us.”

“Hyung…for some reason it feels like you’re talking another language.” His face gets red and I can’t help but laugh, coming over to put both my hands on his shoulders.

“Youngjae, you’ve helped me a lot.” I smile. “So, let Hyung help you.”

He looks down. “Hyung. It’s okay.”

I ruffle his hair roughly. “Of course it’s not.” I turn on my heel and rush into the house.

“Hyung! Stop!” Youngjae rushes after me.

“What’s going on?” Jackson peeks his head out into the hallway as we dash by.

“They get along well, huh?” I hear Bambam laugh out, and Yugyeom adds, not sounding happy.

“Too well.”

“Hyung! Please stop!” Youngjae rushes over to me as I stop in front of a random door that I assume is one of JJ Project’s. “I get it! I’ll do it myself.” He pants as the door opens. An angry looking Im Jaebum greets me, Junior sitting on the bed behind him. 

“What do you two want?” He eyes us as if we were worms beneath his feet. 

“I…need to talk to you two.” Youngjae moves from my side and Im Jaebum looks surprised. 

“Look.” Im Jaebum gains his composure, face going into a scowl. “I don’t want to hear about what you guys do behind closed doors.” 

I sigh. Once an , always an . “Yah, Jaebum that’s –”

“I’m in love with you!” He announces and any and all talking in the house stops.

“Youngjae, we’re not doing this.” Im Jaebum takes a deep breath, and I can see the look of rejection in Youngjae’s whole face. It pisses me off to no end that he would just dismiss him like that.

“You ing bastard.” I grab the front of Im Jaebum’s shirt and he glares at me. “You’re such a damn coward! If you keep pushing him away, he really will move on.” I hiss and look into the room, Junior is wide-eyed. “You too Park Jinyoung! Both of you need to stop living in the past. Stop acting like what you guys have been doing to him is all for ‘his sake’! All you guys are doing is caring about your own damn feelings. Why the aren’t you listening to him and what he wants?”  

“He’s right Hyung. I’m not the same little kid in that hospital room anymore. I have a voice now, and you guys don’t have to protect me anymore. So both of you, just look at me damn it!” He says boldly, pushing pass Im Jaebum and I, and going into the room. “We ARE talking about this. Right now.” He demands.

I grin, letting Im Jaebum’s shirt go. He flushes completely red, face contorted into one I’ve never seen before. He wasn’t angry, nor was he embarrassed. It was an emotion that only came out when Youngjae or Jinyoung were involved. These brothers sure are interesting, huh?

Without word, Im Jaebum rushes to close the door, and I walk away, heading into the living room. I notice all the open mouths, eyes searching my face for answers; not too sure what just took place. 

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////              

 

After the whole Youngjae-JJ Project problem, everything in the house quieted down. Everyone came out of the room in one piece, and Youngjae seemed pleased. Im Jaebum and Junior looked as if nothing happened and even with questions from Bambam and Jackson, no information was shared.

However, Youngjae did give me a soft smile before heading to the store with Jackson. The rest of the night was filled with movies and games and now that it’s almost 1 AM, everyone had went their separate ways. Well, except Yugyeom and I. 

“Do you think it’s weird…the thing that’s going on with Youngjae Hyung and JJ Project?” Yugyeom asks, slumped into the couch, hands shoved into his sweater. I shrug, arms crossed, sitting right next to him. We never left the living room after watching a marathon of the Saw movies. 

“I guess from an outsiders perspective it’s gross and unnatural. However, I kind of understand the dynamic of GOT7. So, when it comes to this stuff, I don’t really care about the details. It’s just love, and love is unexplainable and different for everyone.” I say simply, and he chuckles.

“Spoken like a true adult.”

“Yah, I only just turned 17*. Plus…saying that makes me feel like I’m some pedo or something.” I scratch the back of my head roughly. “How old are you again?”

“I’m about to turn 14 years old.” He counts on his fingers as if he didn’t know his own age, and I feel dread set in. He sees the change in my face and laughs. “Weren’t you the one that said that you don’t care about the details because love is just love?”

“Aish, damn brat. Don’t use my words against me.” I can’t help but laugh, pushing him a bit. He  grabs my hand in a gentle manner. 

“I’m sorry that I’m younger Hyung. I wish I was the same age as you.” He says softly, his mood falling and I smile, pulling my hand away from him in order to ruffle his messy hair. “You’re treating me like a kid again.” He complains.

I roll my eyes playfully, moving closer to his face. He closes his eyes instantly and I place a chaste kiss to his lips, moving back to my original position on the couch. “How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t like kids.”

His face flushes red and he creeps closer to me. He puts a hand to my cheek, making me look him directly in the eyes. “Once more.” He whispers and I comply. Yugyeom really is my weakness.

Bzzzz. Bzzzzt! 

I groan annoyed as my phone vibrates in my pocket, I quickly bring it to my face to see the name Zico Hyung greet me. My eyes widen and I whip my head to see Yugyeom giving me a curious look. I panic, but then remember he has no clue that Zico Hyung is Jiho. I take a deep breath. 

“Aren’t you going to answer it?” He questions and I shake my head. “It says it’s from a Hyung though. You should answer it.”

I sigh. First Im Jaebum s me…now it’s Zico Hyung. How annoying.   

“Okay, only because you want me to.” I swipe to answer it and Yugyeom gets up. “Wait, where are you going?” I reach out and grab his hand, not wanting him to leave.

“It’s late, so I’ll head to bed Hyung.” He leans over and gives me a quick kiss that makes my whole face turn red. He leaves with a face that’s just as red as mine. “Good night Hyung.”

“Night.” 

“Mark? Hello?” Zico Hyung’s voice pulls me back to the phone.

“Hey, Hyung. What’s up?” This better be worth the time I could be spending with Yugyeom.

“How was the rest of your night? Did you eat?” His voice is soft and I lean my head back on the couch in order to stare up at the ceiling. So no, it wasn’t worth it.

“Hyung. I only gave you my number so that you could call for important things...regarding you know what.”

“We just reunited Mark. Shouldn’t you be happy to talk with me?” I could almost picture the frown across his lips. 

I roll my eyes, going into my pocket and pulling out the locket. I dangle it in front of my face. “That’s not how it’s going to work between us Hyung, not after what you’ve done.”

“Don’t be like that Mark. I already said I’m going to try to fix things.” Zico Hyung affirms. “Actually, I called because I found a way to make GOT7 want to talk with me again.”

“I’m sure nothing like that actually exist, Hyung.” I doubt as I let the locket dance about my fingers.

“Just hear me out,” Zico Hyung clears his throat. “I’ve been thinking, the best way to bridge the gap between us, is to first give a peace offering.”

“And…that peace offering is?” I say impatiently, now I’m getting tired. Why in the world did he call me so late? Was he thinking about this all this time?

“If you know what happened at the JYP house, then you should know the name Park Jimin, right?”

“Ah,” I exclaim. The precious little girl that disappeared and I guess never before set foot in this house again. “Yeah…but, wouldn’t it be hard to find her? I mean her and her family could be anywhere in America – ”

“Hold up,” Zico Hyung chuckles. “I thought you said you knew everything that happened?”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” I growl.

“Jimin’s my little sister. I was pretty sure that JYP Hyung told them I was adopted by Nichkhun Hyung.”

My eyes widen. “You…can’t be serious.”

“Mark?”

I groan, putting my hands to my face. So not only did Jiho betray them, get off easy, and live well after what he had done to them. He was also adopted by Nichkhun. Which means he got the privilege to grow up with Jimin, and to make matters worse, JYP never told them about it. This is all a hot mess. 

“Is everything okay Mark?” I could only shake my head, knowing full well that he couldn’t see.

“No, not at all.”  

 

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UPDATE!

This update took longer than it should have but I’ve just been so busy with school. Like, waaaaaay too busy. This is not how I thought I would spend my senior year of college xD

So after this update I WILL be editing earlier chapters and taking out unneeded . The are all in dreams and I think when I had started this fic about 3 yrs ago or so, I did it just to get more readers when It didn’t play any role in my story what so ever. So for the things that aren’t needed. I will be taking them out. 

As a writer, I want to be known for writing something I can be proud about and not something I find myself making excuses for. Now, back to the bigger topic at hand:

Dear My Lovely Readers

I AM STILL SO THANKFUL AND SHOCKED THAT I GOT FEATURED OMG! I never thought it would happen at all T_T 

This was only able to happen because of you guys! My lovely readers. So again, even though I have said it way too many times. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. I love all your comments, I love to hear how much you enjoy and want more chapters! 

Thank you to everyone who upvoted my story and thank you to all of my subscribers (new and old!) :D Also, I also love you, my silent readers, because my goal is to make you comment one day. Which has happened on many occasions and has made me very happy~

I hope that this story will continue to have a place in your hearts <3

Thank you (again)

- Togi-Tan