“Holy . Dude, you look worse than usual.” Taeil takes three steps back, face scrunched up in disapproval. He takes his lollipop out of his mouth and looks at me, like a person would to some sick-and-dying animal. “You okay?”

I stare at him with half open lids and yawn.

As if I'm okay. I couldn't wrap my brain around falling in love with another dude. Who would? It was a complete and utter mental breakdown for me this weekend. I went through all five stages, denial being the hardest hurdle I had to jump. Which, for your information, I just overcame two seconds before this door opened. No more pacing my room for hours, sinking into deep philosophical thought about life and how un-ing-lucky I am, or contemplating my own death/escape back to the states. I'm not gay. I'm not, however, I think it's safe to assume I'm Bi. But, that isn't the point.

The point is that I'm in love with Kim Yugyeom. The maknae of GOT7.

Okay…I said it. There’s no going back.

“I don't want to talk about it,” I grumble as I rub my eyes, as if that would make the sleep that pulled at them back off.

Taeil grins ear to ear, nudging me in the side. “Is this about your date?”

“Shut up,” I hiss toward him “it never happened.”

“Ohhh~ Was our little prince stood up? Is that why you went MIA this weekend?” He laughs hard, and hits me on the arm. “Dude, no wonder you look like ! You were sulking, weren't you?”

I ignore him and I assume, with some out-of-date Mark translator, he takes my silence as an answer to his question, and not me practicing self control. I really want to kill him right now.

“Sulking, how cute.” Taeil teases, poking me in my side and I threaten to punch him with my one good arm, he flinches away and I find it funny that the stronger guy is scared of the one with only one functional arm.

“Mark! Taeil!”

Taeil and I turn our heads to see who was calling out to us so cheerfully in the morning. Youngji is running toward us, a large case slung over her shoulder. She's waving enthusiastically and even though I feel like a zombie, I smile at her. I think it's just seeing someone smiling and happy to see me, that makes life a tad less annoying.

“Where are you running to?” Taeil questions, staring at the massive bag, it was large enough to hold a large cello if it wanted to. I wondered how someone as small and thin as Youngji could effortlessly carry, let alone, run with it.

“Fencing meet, which,” She looks at her phone and yelps “I am extremely late too! I'm a good captain when it comes to fencing, but I'm terrible at getting up on time. I'll see you guys later!” She smiles and hurries off toward the gym.

“To think, she's one of the top women in fencing, worldwide,” Taeil informs with a face of disbelief.

“I thought you had no clue who she was.” I yawn loudly and he nods, holding up his phone.

“It takes only a few seconds to google someone.” He grins and just as I open my mouth to reply, I notice Piyo and Kyung heading our way. They looked serious, and I prayed I wouldn't have to deal with them so early in the goddamn morning. They seem not to notice us as they hurry about their way, maybe out to torture some poor student somewhere.

“Oh, Hyung. P.O!” Taeil waves like an overly happy child and I groan inwardly, so close. Kyung is the first to look in our direction, a smile graces his face and it’s the first time I see him look anything but angry. However, as his eyes lock with mine, his smile fades and he sighs as deeply as I wish I could. Rude bastard.

Piyo comes over first, even more hyper than the short guy by my side. “Hyungs! Good Morning.”

“Morning.” Kyung grumbles like a child who was scolded for not saying sorry. He crosses his arms and waits for Piyo to finish his animated talk with Taeil. Least we both could agree on one thing: we don't want to be here right now.

“I'm surprised you're not with...your friends.” Kyung clears his throat, trying to be polite and start some kind of conversation with me. I don't want it.

“And I'm surprised you aren't out their sticking tacks on my seat again.” I retort and his face flushes red with anger.

“Let's go P.O. We don't have time for idle chat anyway. Jiho is coming back on Friday, we have a lot of things to prepare.” He pulls Piyo by the arm and Piyo looks reluctant to go. Taeil frowns as well, but complies.

“The president coming back is a big deal, we can talk later.”

Even though this whole situation isn't one I’m in, I feel the need to speak up. I mean, clearly my friend wants to hang out with his own friend, why should Kyung and I be in the way? “Don't you have to teach him today?” I question Taeil, who's face brightens up with an emotion I'm sure I battled this weekend.

“That's right!” His eyes disappear and he walks closer to Piyo and Kyung. “I'm going to head back with them Mark, will you be okay?”

I nod and with a slight bow from Piyo, glares from Kyung, and a chipper smile from Taeil, I'm left all alone in the middle of the road. It's a weird sort of feeling, being alone when you haven't been alone for three weeks. I can't tell if I'm relieved or uncomfortable with the newfound silence I'm being plagued with.

As I'm passing by the middle school division, I find myself stopping, as well as dreading the fact that I know I'm in love with a middle-schooler. I find my mind wandering over to Yugyeom. I wonder what he's doing? Does he like school? Are other students nice to him? Does he ever wonder what I am doing – okay…I need to stop. Obviously he doesn't. That kid has more important things to worry about…like coloring, spelling, and whatever else kids do.

Urgh. I really want to see him.

I sigh deeply. “I'm an idiot.”

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

My morning classes fly by in peaceful bliss, as the teacher teaches normally, no GOT7 seen for days. The students must have gotten bored with GOT7 and I, because I stopped hearing whispering about us a few days ago. Everyone seems less tense and even if they meet eyes with me, they don’t look away faster than I can blink anymore. However, it doesn’t mean they are any happier to see me nor does it mean that they want to be my friend either. I’m still surprised that Taeil and Youngji wanted to be my friend in the first place.

Then again, those two are weird as hell.

“Mark,” Taeil comes over and takes a seat in the chair in front of me. It takes me from my thoughts and I lean my head on my good hand. “Are you going to tutor today?”

“If by tutor you mean babysit, then yes, yes I am.” I huff and he chuckles patting me on my arm nicely.

“Here’s the notes, Mark.” Youngji comes over, yawning, and places a small bright pink notebook between Taeil and I. I smile and open it, letting the blank pages fall until I see her nice handwriting gracing some pages. “I made sure to write down all the tips and tricks, so don’t worry, you will definitely pass this class because of me!”

I laugh and get to my feet, shoving the notebook into my book bag and gently putting it over my good shoulder. “Thanks Youngji, now to deal with the demons.”

“Going to the library?” She questions heading back to her desk, putting her books away as fast as she can. A few students still linger in the room, but for the most part everyone is heading off to their next class or gym.

I shrug. “I used to go there, but recently they don’t show up. But, I’ll go and check. Coming Taeil?”

“I’m heading off to the student council’s office.” Taeil gets up and scratches his head awkwardly. I grin ear to ear.

“Someone’s going to the dark side.” I tease and Taeil makes a face.

“I’m a double agent.” He says proudly and nudges me. “Don’t you want a man on the inside?”

Youngji rolls her eyes. “Double agent? Yeah right! I see you making lovely-dovely eyes at the maknae.”

“Hm?” I look at the two and Taeil tenses up.

“I’m going now!” Taeil rushes out of the room, stops, comes back for his book bag, and then runs out again like there’s a fire.

“You really like to torture him.” I head out into the hallway and Youngji laughs loudly beside me, mouth wide open.

“It’s kind of fun, isn’t it?”

“Sadist.”

“If I’m a sadist, you’re definitely an M.” She points toward my arm. “Oh, there are a lot of people in the library today.” Youngji is startled at the massive amount of people going in and out. Oh yeah, midterms are coming around. With all these people here, there is no way Im Jaebum is here. Matter of fact, there is no way any GOT7 member is –

“Woah, it’s Dimsum!” Jackson hurries over from some bookshelf, a handful of manga in his arms. He’s smiling happily and it makes me realize that I haven’t been able to talk to Jackson lately. I hate to admit it, but I miss him. A little. It seems the longer I’m friends with GOT7, the less I actually see them in school and outside. Before, it was hard as hell to shake these dudes. Now I can’t even find them.

“Jackson, hey,” He comes forward as I walk inside the library. “What in the world are you doing here?”

“Manga!” He says excitedly and leans forward to whisper in my ear, as if he thought people were listening. “They don’t have any of the good mangas at the middle school division. Bambam begged me to pick some up for him.” He laughs and places his books down at a half empty table nearby. He motions for me to come over and just as I’m about to move, I feel something hold me back. Youngji’s hand is gripping my good hand tightly. I look at her and she’s wide-eyed and staring at Jackson. Now that I think about, has Youngji met all of the GOT7 members yet?

“Oh, who’s this?” Jackson’s usually cheerful voice falls just a bit, even his smile fades to one that is obviously fake as he stares at Youngji’s hand on my arm.

“Youngji, she’s a friend from my class. Junior almost killed her once.” I inform, getting my arm away from her. She makes a small squealing sound and it makes a lot of people look at her with judging looks. What the hell is this girl is doing?

“Jackson! What are the chances that we would be in the same school?” Youngji steps forward with confidence now, her earlier surprise completely gone. When Jackson doesn’t look as equally happy to see her, she frowns. “Don’t tell me you don’t remember me?”

Jackson is taken aback. He stares at me then lets his eyes wander to her. “Sorry, I’m not too good with names or faces. Have we met before?” He’s really confused as she pouts and jabs her arm out and lunges forward, as if holding her sapper in her right hand. Jackson’s eyes widen.

“Youngji?”

“Finally you remember me! I can’t believe it’s been so long since we last saw each other! When was it last? The Olympics, maybe?” She grins and jabs her hand out again. “You win gold and forget the person who helped train you, eh?”

“Wait, what? You two know each other…and have both been to the Olympics?” I give the two a look of pure disbelief. They glance at each other and then nod.

“Youngji’s the daughter of the man who used to coach me in fencing, so we trained together for years! But you look…like a girl now.” He laughs his hyena laugh, earning glares from a few students nearby, who wanted nothing more than peace and quiet so they could continue pretending to study.

Youngji points a finger at him, eyes narrowed. “Don’t make me get the embarrassing photos out and show Mark.” She threatens and he shuts up immediately.

Even though I’m happy to see a GOT7 member getting along with one of my friends, I don’t know if it’s just because it’s Jackson and I’m so used to his attention being directed toward me…but I feel kind of unhappy. What the hell is wrong with me? Just because they have history I don’t know about…why should that bother me?

“Uh, I gotta go, or else Im Jaebum might kill me.” I excuse myself, and only get half-assed hand waves from the two, who have sunken into chairs and talking animatedly to each other, not caring if I was there or not. Can’t lie, it hurts more than I care to admit.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Do you want to know what’s worse than being in a pissy mood after your friends ignore you for each other? Is being in a pissy mood after your friends ignore you for each other, then opening the door to the GOT7 hideout and realizing it’s only you and Im Jaebum. That’s what.

“Not like I wanted to see you either Nerd.” He glares, then looks back to his textbook. Other than the surprise of not seeing any other GOT7 member in the expansive hideout, I’m surprised to see the table that was normally littered with chip and candy wrappers, clothes, and sometimes random books, being instead, littered with notes, homework, and textbooks.

“Maybe I opened the wrong door?” I mumble to myself, backing out of the room. He nearly throws his textbook at my head, missing by a few inches. I stalk back into the room, completely pissed off. “You ing bastard! You almost hit me!”

“I don’t know what your talking about,” He picks up another book nearby, flipping through the pages aimlessly. “Also, bring me my book.”

“.” I hiss but still bend down to get his textbook for him, groaning at the extra movements needed to move up and down. “What are you doing anyway?”

“Studying, since someone at their job.” He takes the textbook from my hand and places it to his side. I take a seat in front of him, rolling my eyes as hard as I can.

“When the hell did you start caring about your damn grades?” I shift my hand through some of his notes and notice them to be quite well-written, hell, even easier to understand than Youngji’s simplified version of my notes. I make a small glance at him and he’s reading a section of his textbook softly to himself. Aissh, I really can’t stand people like him.

Smart as hell, yet don’t give two s about anything, especially school.

“Impressed?” He’s grinning ear to ear so I know for a fact I’m not giving him the satisfaction he wants.

“Of what? This is basic, even Jackson could do better.” I fake a yawn and even though we both know it’s complete BS, he still makes an annoyed face.

“Now that I think about it, where the hell did he wander off to? He said he was getting , and never came back.” Im Jaebum huffs and glances at the door, as if Jackson’s name was the magic words that could make him reappear.

“Probably getting himself a girlfriend.” I lean back in my chair, sighing deeply. Im Jaebum stops flipping through his book, eyes settling on mine.

“Jealous?” He smirks and looks back at his book, losing interest rather quickly, he closes it. He throws it on the table with a hard thud and leans forward. Waiting for my answer.

“No,” I glare at him. “He can do what he wants.”

“Uh huh.” Im Jaebum isn’t convinced and he continues to stare at me, so I stare back. It feels as if it’s been ages since the last time we engaged in our strange staring contests.

I clear my throat. “I have a question.” I don’t break our eye contact and he doesn’t as well, motioning with his hands for me to talk. “As the leader of GOT7, would you allow others to date them?”

“Hm?” Im Jaebum looks confused and moves back in his seat, probably taken aback that I even asked such a thing, hell, I didn’t even think I would. Normally, I keep to myself about these sort of things. However, with the realization that I might actually pursue the youngest, I probably should gauge the leader’s reaction. “That’s some question. Why?”

“Just answer it Im Jaebum.”

“Maybe if you call me JB, and say that I’m the coolest guy you know, I’ll answer you.” He grins and I’m at a loss for words.

“What are you, five? Just answer the question.”

“I don’t hear you, hm? What did you say?” He cups his ear with his hand and laughs, leaning forward. I find myself laughing as well. It’s rare when I find myself at ease with this guy, and even rarer to find myself smiling and joking around. So, I guess I’ll comply.

“Oh holy almighty JB, you are the coolest guy I know. Now answer my damn question.” I narrow my eyes and he nods his head, feeling extremely accomplished.

“It depends.” He crosses his arms, all traces of smiles gone. His face as cold as stone. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to his changing moods.

“Depends?” I question, actually curious.

“If they’re hot or not.” His tone of voice is serious and I really regret asking.

“Why the hell does that even matter?”

“Cause then, we can share them.” He grins and I just shake my head. I should have expected this sort of answer from him, he’s basically like another Junior, except he has more self control. However, his mouth still needs some work.

Then a thought I have been trying to ignore worms it’s way back into my head. My face flushes red and I break our little staring contest to settle my eyes somewhere behind him instead. I ignore the small chuckle I get and I know he’s happy to mark that as a win on his side. . Why the hell am I thinking about that dream? The dream I had weeks ago that had everyone from GOT7 “sharing” me.

Oh god, I’m just as bad as those two. my life.

“Someone would have to be insane to agree to that.” I say, finally gaining my composure back.

“Well, it’s a good thing your crazy, huh?” He’s laughing again, even louder than last time and I feel a rush of embarrassment surge through me. I hiss in his direction.

“ you.”

“Comments like those are why I suggest such ideas.” He teases and I want to throw one of his textbooks right in his face, but I don’t. Self control Mark. Self control.

“Who would want to you?” I make a disgusted face and he raises his hand to stop me from talking.

“When did I ever say me? I said us.” He corrects.

I groan internally. I can’t tell if he’s being serious…or just ing with me. He takes up another book and starts to flip through it, and by the way he’s smiling, like a kid on Christmas, he knows he’s gotten to me. He won.

“Why the hell do I even talk to you?”

“Cause you love me.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh hard, so hard I almost fall out of my chair.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“Let’s go home together.” Junior says, standing in front of me as I attempt to go home.

“You live in the other direction.” I sigh, pointing in the direction of the main road. Junior waves his hand in front of him, as if to get the idea away from him and he heads down the street toward my house. It’s not like I can actually stop him, so I pick up my pace in order to walk beside him.

“Mark Hyung, about our date.”

“What now? I did what you wanted.” I sigh, trying not to think about the date, that wasn’t really a date…but still a date.

“That’s not the problem. It was really fun! But, do you know why Yugyeom was there? Ever since Friday, he’s been annoyed with me.” Junior looks really concerned and I shrug, because even I don’t know why Yugyeom showed up. If I could, I would ask Yugyom myself, but I haven’t seen him all day.

“Well, I guess we’ll never know. By the way, if I don’t do anything you don’t like again, can we go on another date?” He smiles widely and it’s almost automatic how fast I shake my head, wiping the smile right off of his face. “Why not?”

I stop walking and so does he. “Look Junior, I don’t hate you. I did before, but now I don’t. However, that doesn’t mean I can see myself dating you. Actually I’ve only ever dated girls, it’s not like I’m just going to be open to dating a – “ I stop myself when the thought of Yugyeom pushes its way into my head. I take a deep breath. “What I mean to say is, it wouldn’t work between us. I’m sorry.”

For a while, Junior is silent, he looks about ready to cry and then quickly he nods his head. He tries to smile, but he can’t seem to shake the defeat that consumed every part of his face. I didn’t think it would hurt me to reject him, especially since this guy used to harass me all the time, but, it’s actually hurting me to see him like this. “Junior…I.”

He stops me with a pat on the shoulder. “I’m fine. You don’t have to try and comfort me. If you do…I might not stop loving you.” His voice shakes and he squeezes my shoulder a little before walking back toward school. I watch him as he walks away, and I have to stop myself from walking after him and telling him that I’m sorry for hurting him, that maybe I guess we can go on another date or something. I walk home as quickly as I can.

Mark. Nothing good is going to come if you pity him. You’ll only make it worse on yourself, and him.

“, I feel like a monster.”

At home, I find myself falling into a daze every few minutes. Maybe I shouldn’t have rejected him like that? Maybe I should have been nicer? Did I even really give him a chance? It’s not like he’s a terrible dude, but…I don’t know. I feel torn between wanting to not hurt him, and wanting to make it clear that I have feelings for someone else.

“Urgh!” I groan and reach for my phone, leaning softly on my bed frame. At times like this, you go to your friends. I flip through my phone, ruling out Wooyoung Hyung, because he would freak out if he found out what was really happening between me and GOT7. Jokwon Hyung would have too much fun with this, and Min Noona would have eve more fun. I sigh and scroll over to Youngji’s number.

I shake my head. If I call her, she might start talking about Jackson. I don’t want to hear that. I scroll up and take a deep breath. Clicking the first name I see. I put the phone to my ear and wait for them to pick up.

“This is rare! Don’t tell me you’re dying or something,” Taeil laughs. “You never call.”

“Want me to hang up?” I grumble and he laughs again.

“What’s up?”

“Is it normal to feel like a monster after you reject someone?” I say quickly and the line goes quiet.

“Wait, is this about your date?”

“Don’t ask any questions, just answer mine.” I state firmly and he’s laughing some more.

“This is about your da – “ I hang up with a deep sigh. Well, that was no help. I need someone who will talk with me and not ask questions. I look through my phone again. I come onto a few GOT7 members’ names and already know that wouldn’t go well. Unless….

I put the phone to my ear and it’s answered immediately. “Hyung?”

“Youngjae, can I ask you for advice but not have you ask me for details?” I ask, hoping with all of my heart that Youngjae will be willing to help me out.

“Okay Hyung.”

I feel a sense of peace wash over me. I need to thank the heavens for creating Choi Youngjae.

“So I have a friend, of a friend, who has a cousin, who has a son, who rejected someone recently and feels like an because of it. Does that make them an ?”

“Well why does your friend’s friend’s cousin’s…?”

“Son.”

“Son. Think he’s an ?”

“I don’t know…maybe because he didn’t want to hurt the person he rejected because he wasn’t that bad of a guy.”

“So this is about two guys?”

“Uh, I mean she wasn’t that bad.”

“Well, maybe your friend’s friend’s cousin’s son needs to think about his relationship with this person? If you – I mean they feel bad, doesn’t that mean they’re regretting it?” His voice is soft, like a parent talking to their young child, I let my eyes wander to my feet. Regretting it…?

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe they have feelings for the person they rejected?”

“What? How can I have feelings for Junior?” I say with a weird emotion I can’t quite place. Then squeeze my eyes shut, , I’m an idiot.

“Relationships are never easy to understand Hyung. Just tell your friend’s friend’s cousin’s son to think about the girl he rejected. Maybe there is more there than he thinks.” Youngjae’s voice is still soft and even though I know he heard me, I feel so relieved that he continues to play along with my fake story.

“I really owe you a lot Youngjae.” I can’t help but feel saddened that for all the help I have received I have never given back. “Let Hyung buy you a meal.”

“What are you saying Hyung? I didn’t do anything.” He laughs and with a small pause, I hear some voices in the background. It’s probably the rest of the GOT7 members. GOT7…Junior.
, I feel like a monster again. “Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you busy this weekend?”

“No, why?”

“Come sleep over.” He insists and even though I feel like it would be a bad idea, something deep within me compels me to go against the red flags.

“Sounds like a plan. Anyway, I’ll let you go. Good night Youngjae.”

“Good night Hyung.”

I let the phone slowly fall from my face and I groan. Sure talking to Youngjae helped me a lot, but now I’m even more confused. Do I like Park Jinyoung? I never thought I would have to think about this…. Sure, a few times my heart starting acting up around him, but it hasn’t been the same feeling I get when I’m with Yugyeom.

I sigh. I already went through one mental breakdown this weekend. I don’t need a another one!

A small knock at my door drags me from my spiraling thoughts and with an annoyed huff, I make it to my feet and to my door. What now? I take a step back when Yugyeom’s surprised face greets me at my bedroom door. How long has he been here? When did he get here?

With a small smile, all of the exhaustion and frustration and anger melts from every limb in my body. A terribly strange sense of numbness washes over me, and I find myself smiling as well, even though I have no reason to be happy.

“Hey Yugyeom…sorry. Today’s not a good day.” I confess and with a saddened look, Yugyeom steps forward, worry in every inch of his face.

“Are you okay Hyung?”

Hearing Yugyeom’s voice throws me off. It makes a million emotions rush at me and hit me all at once. It’s a little too much for me to handle. I didn’t expect for him to talk to me, let alone come here after I left him for Junior on Friday. Wasn’t he annoyed with us both? I take a deep breath. I need to gain control of my emotions.

“There’s a lot going on right now, I don’t want to take it out on you.” I sigh and make my way back to my bed.

“I can take it Hyung.” Yugyeom walks towards me, and takes a seat on the floor near my bed. Not too close, yet not too far. “Want to talk?”

Talk. Talking. I can’t help the sad laugh that slips from my lips, because all this time, it was all I wanted to do with him. I wanted to have this voice directed at me. Here it is, the voice I always wanted to hear, the one I wanted only for my ears to hear. This is way too overwhelming and I hate the way I feel so ing emotional over something so small and simple as his voice. I also hate the way Yugyeom is going on as if he never kept this voice from me. Like we talk all the time.

“Hyung?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry, I’m fine.” I assure him with the smallest smile I can muster up. I hope he can’t tell I’m lying. “It’s been a long day.”

Yugyeom must have believed me because he doesn’t say anything more. It gets quiet again and I watch him fumble with his fingers. “Hyung…about Friday.”

Why does everyone want to talk about Friday? However, the realization that I’m in the same room with the person I’m in love with hits me like a bucket of cold water. I feel my body tense up, face flushing a million shades of red. Gross, why are my hands so damn moist? I clear my throat. “Yeah?”

“Were you really just there as friends?”

“Yeah.” Stay with simple basic answers Mark. Simple. Basic. Anything more and he will know how you feel about him.

Yugyeom nods his head slowly, and with the mellowing mood, I try to change the subject.

“On Friday…why did you say you didn’t like it?”

Now it’s time for Yugyeom’s face to rival my own. He stays quiet and a panicking feeling surges from the pit of my stomach to the rest of my body. It feels like once he stops talking, he won’t talk again.

“Just answer one question, it’s either yes or no. Can you do that for me?”

“I can Hyung.” Still speaking. Good.

“Are you going to stop talking to me?” I question with a serious voice and face. Yugyeom is shocked, he probably didn’t expect me to ask him that. To be honest, I thought I was going to ask him something different as well.

But at the same time. I’m scared. Scared that the voice I’m hearing right now could be pulled and locked away again. That Yugyeom will hate me, not trust me, and ignore me. Push me away if I say something not to his liking. Something that could trigger him in the worse way.

It’s terrifying.

“I’m sorry Hyung, I –“

I cut him off by shaking my head. “You have your reasons for not talking. I respect them. So don’t worry about what happened in the past, okay? Just answer, yes, or no?”

“No Hyung. I won’t stop talking to you.” He is looking at me with more confidence now and I feel my racing heart beat calm at his soft but firm voice.

“Okay. That’s all I wanted to hear. Princess is downstairs. I’m going to nap.” I lie and struggle to get comfortable on my bed, wanting to shove a pillow in my face and scream at how gross and cheesy this all is, but also to hide the creepy nasty happy smile on my face. I fake a yawn in order to try to convince him, but Yugyeom doesn’t budge. I sneak a glance at him and he’s staring at me. I gulp.

“I didn’t come for Princess today.”

Well, there goes my heart beat again. , why does this kid make me feel this way? Was love always this fluffy, gross, and cheesy? Calm down!

“Did you need to say something to me?” My voice cracks awkwardly and I want to hide in embarrassment. Why the hell am I not cool? I feel like some brat, who’s never dated a girl before.

“N-not really…I just wanted to stay with you.” He mumbles and keeps his eyes down casted, like a saddened puppy. . . Damnit. Why the is he so cute? It’s like he’s trying to seduce me or something!

“It’s not like I’m going to do anything.” I admit, which is really me saying it to remind myself not to do anything to him. He smiles slightly and leans his back against my bed.

“It’s okay. I like it here. Being around you Hyung, makes me feel at peace.”

I groan inwardly. Self control. Self control. SELF. CONTROL.

“I like you too.”

“Hm?” Yugyeom leans his head back so that he can look at me, and I do my best to mask my panic. What. the. . is. wrong. with. me???

I cough. “I said, I like it here too.”

He turns away from me and closes his eyes, smiling just a bit. “You’re really cute Hyung.”

“I don’t want to hear that from a preschooler.” I hiss, my good hand covering my face. It would be so easy to grab his face and kiss him right now. . Self. Control. Self. Control.

“Hmm,” he thinks to himself. “But who’s the one that likes a preschooler?”

“Y-you heard me?” I spring up, sitting upright, pain hitting me in my arm. I wince as he chuckles to himself.

“Heard what Hyung?” He feigns innocence and my face flushes red again. I can’t help but feel tricked. I can hear his soft laughter fill my room and even though I feel strange about the maknae’s true colors, I’m not mad at all.

it. I’m in too deep.

Evil maknae or not – he has my heart in the palm of his hand.

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