“Ya! Chen get up!” I hear someone shout from faraway. I then hear footsteps getting closer and someone opening the door. “Chen! Oh I’ll be back in a minute.” The person suddenly changes his mind and leaves. I wonder why. I snuggle closer to my warm pillow as I was still feeling cold. Wait. Did the person say ‘Chen’ what? I start to slowly lift my head up and open my eyes to see a smiling Chen looking down at me. Then everything came back. My Mum, that’s all I could see. All I could see was her lifeless body hanging there. I started to get tears in my eyes and I felt someone hug me. Obviously, it was Chen as we were the only ones in the room.

After what seems like hours Chen asks “Nana-ah Do you want to have breakfast?” As an answer my stomach grumbled loudly, causing me to blush while Chen laughed a bit. His laugh is like music to my ears. Wait, I can’t think this stop Nina you’re just going to get into a bigger mess than you are already in. “I’ll take that as a yes then, you might want to change and freshen up a bit so the toilet is just through that door.” Chen pointed out to me. I grabbed my bag that was sitting at the end of the bed and made my way into the bathroom. I closed and locked the door. Luckily I didn’t have many clothes or things that I wanted to keep so even though my bag wasn’t the size of a suitcase it still fit all of the belongings I wanted to take with me.

I decided to have a shower and I washed my hair and I combed through it a few times so I was left with no tangles. As I washed I shaved my legs because I’m probably going to be with the rest of EXO. I wonder why I’m not freaking out; I mean they are my favourite group. I turn the shower off and luckily there was a towel in the bathroom so I dried my hair as best as I could and put some comfy clothes on. I put on my burgundy skinny jeans and Marvel superheroes T-shirt, applied some eyeliner and put on my bracelets. I hated wearing bracelets but they were the only things that covered up my scars and cuts. That reminds me, I haven’t cut in a few days. I also haven’t been bothered by those horrible voices. I slid my phone and IPod into my pockets and put my headphones around my neck. I checked how I looked in the mirror and frowned. I still looked fat and ugly. I hate looking like this. I sighed and stuffed my burgundy beanie into my back pocket and slid a hairband onto my wrist.

I unlocked the bathroom door and walked back into Chen’s room to find he wasn’t there. He’s probably gone to eat breakfast. I walked out of his room and found myself in a long corridor with many doors attached to it. I figured that each door lead to another member’s room. I walked down the corridor and a heavenly smell was emitting from a room further down. Damn that is one long corridor. Soon I approached the end of the corridor and found myself at a door. I suddenly felt nervous. What if the rest of them aren’t as welcoming? I started to have a fight with myself, contemplating on whether I should go in our not. When suddenly the door opened and a giant stood in front of me. “Oh Nina-ah! Are you hungry?” The giant was speaking to me. I looked up to find out that the giant was Chanyeol.

 I laughed at myself for being so stupid. “Hey Channie! Can I call you that? Eh, I don’t care I’m going to call you that. Yes I am hungry, what’s that lovely smell?” I said to him as I walked into, what seemed to be, the living room complete with a flat screen TV, Large sofas, a coffee table and game consoles. Most of the members were all sitting around chatting casually but it seemed a bit suspicious. I doubt they’ve ever all be in here at the same time. Thank god that this place was very spacious. “Anneyong!” I smiled and said to everyone. They all surprisingly greeted me with warm smiles.

“Nina-ah When’s your birthday?” Sehun asked me. Damn it I knew this one was coming. Trust Sehun to ask this question.

I looked at Chen and tears started welling up in my eyes remembering the events of yesterday. “My birthday was yesterday the 24^th of October. I’m now 20 years old and I’ve finished school right now I’m having a gap year to figure out what I’m going to do.”

(A/N I know that I wrote that she was still going to school but can we just say that it was the past?)

“Yehet! I’m not the maknae anymore,” Sehun cheered as he got up and danced. I laughed at his silliness.

“Wait Nina yesterday you told us you were 19?” Said Kris in a questioning way.

“Well I wasn’t lying I was still 19 at the time I turned 20 when I got home at 10:37pm” I said as the tears in my eyes started to blur my vision. I quickly wiped my eyes “I-I-I’m sorry” I said.

“Nina-ah, there’s nothing to be sorry about, do you want me to explain to the others or should I?” Chen said as he looked at me with his kind brown eyes.

“n-n-no I’ll explain everything it’s okay.” I said while wiping my eyes again and sitting down next to Chen who put his arm around me. Normally I hate skinship but with Chen I didn’t mind it. “Okay so it all started yesterday when I performed for you, I’m sure you all realised my arm?” I asked them.

“Yeah we did, we’re worried what happened?” asked Kai.

“How do I say this…? I… well you see I self-harm” I whispered quietly.

“You what? We can’t hear you” Said Kai again.

“Nana it’s okay, they’re the most understanding and caring guys I know they won’t hurt you,” Chen whispered.

“I self-harm,” I said louder so that they could hear me. They just sat quietly waiting for me to go on with my story. So that’s exactly what I did. “Chen stayed back to talk to me. So I told him everything. We swapped phone numbers and I left to go home. I got home at 10:35 and I looked around the house because my mum told me that my dad and brother won’t be at home, so it would just be her. I looked around the house for a while looking for my mum, calling her name but she never answered.” I started to get tears in my eyes but I held them in. I didn’t want them to see me as weak. “At 10:37pm I found my mum in the kitchen and she had hung herself.” I looked around and they were all silent. “My father abuses me and my mother, my older brother hates me so I didn’t want to stay in that house any longer. I packed my things and because I had no friends when I was at school the only person I could call was Chen so I did and that’s how I ended up here.” I ended with a half-hearted smile.

“Nina you are welcome to stay with us as long as you want you can also maybe tag along when we go back to Korea,” Kris said adding a wink at the end. I felt Chen tense up behind me so I leant my back into him.

“Who’s hungry?” D.O shouted to lighten the mood. We all cheered and we followed him into the kitchen and dining room to find three massive plates of pancakes with so many different toppings around them. The round table had 13 places set up and everyone took their seats and started to help themselves to the pancakes. I decided to take one and put lemon and sugar on it. It was so tasty.

“D.O, it’s so yummy,” I said in between mouthfuls of food. The rest of them all nodded in agreement because they were too busy stuffing their faces. The only time they are all quiet is when they’re eating. Trust them to be like this. I smiled to myself and giggled when I looked around and saw each of them occasionally try to steal another’s food. I could get used to this.

a/n awwwwwww things are starting to turn around. Trust me there’s more drama and strange experiences to come :D

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~TheHaniniPanini