Donghae arrived to the dorm and went straight to his room. He stared at the roof as his mind began to run in circles, all about Yejun.

When Donghae entered the dorm Eunhyuk and Leeteuk were sitting at the table in the kitchen discussing something when they saw the way Donghae dragged himself through the dorm without even saying hello.

The two men decided they had to talk to Donghae about what was wrong because its taking a toll on him.

“Hae?” Eunhyuk asks as they enter his room.

Eunhyuk and Leeteuk took a seat at the foot of his bed. They noticed the single tear which escaped from Donghae’s eye and Eunhyuk wiped it with the back of his hand.

“I need to let her go.” Donghae said after a long silence.

Eunhyuk and Leeteuk looked at each other surprised at what Donghae had just said.

“Why?” Leeteuk asks.

“She’s depressed because of me. I’m only trying to fool myself. She hasn’t loved me since she woke up and she won’t love me.” Donghae responded with more tears coming out.

“How is it your fault Hae?” Eunhyuk asks.

“She’s tied down to someone she doesn’t even love. Her parents hate her even more because of me. She just doesn’t want to make me angry so she does nothing. She can’t get better with me around. She’ll be depressed as long as I’m with her.”

“Hae, you can’t say those things to yourself. She does love you but she’s afraid of her feelings. If she didn’t love you she wouldn’t have tried to kill herse-“ Leeteuk was saying but then cut off by Donghae.

“She tried to kill herself because I didn’t allow her to break up with me. Because I prevented her from dating someone else since we were dating. Because I yelled at her and made her feel disappointed for cheating on me. Don’t you see hyung? It was all me. She finally began to feel again but because it was for someone else I didn’t allow her to. Now she won’t talk to anyone. She’s more depressed then before and has no one. I did this all to her.”

Eunhyuk and Leeteuk looked at each other. It hurt them to see their precious dongsaeng suffering like this. It hurt them to see how much he was suffering for the one he loved.

“It wasn’t you Donghae. Her mind isn’t right at the moment.” Eunhyuk said.

“Maybe she doesn’t remember you Donghae but that doesn’t mean she’ll forget you. She used Seunghyun to cover her feelings for you.” Leeteuk tried.

No matter how much each of them tried to convince him that he shouldn’t let go of Yejun, Donghae just couldn’t believe it all. He blamed himself for so much and he still wanted to be with Yejun but at this point he’s came to the conclusion that he can’t be.

He began to call and text Yejun even less and less. There were times when Lindy called asking him to come over for a meal but he lied and said he had a schedule. He would only call and text Yejun when his heart couldn’t bear knowing nothing about her anymore and at that point he was in tears.

One night Lindy called Donghae again while she was drunk so Donghae decided he should go pick her up again then he can peek at Yejun since it has been 10 days since he saw her.

Lindy was passed out on Donghae’s back when he walked into the dark apartment. He was taking off his shoes when the light suddenly . Donghae was confused at who turned it on because Lindy was still asleep on his back and he certainly didn’t do it. He then saw the sleepy eyed Yejun in front of him with a confused and hurt look on her face.

You’ll go see Lindy but not me? Yejun thought to herself. She refused to show how hurt she was by what was in front of her. She wanted to move but she couldn’t budge. She couldn’t move from where she was. She wanted to run back to her room but her feet wouldn’t move.

“Y-yejun” Donghae said wide eyed knowing that this could cause major confusion.

“She’s drunk.” Yejun said smelling the alcohol. That’s all it is Yejun. Don’t doubt him. But all Yejun could do was doubt him.

“Y-yeah. I just-she-I-“ Donghae didn’t know what to say or how to explain it and became flustered with his words.

“Don’t explain.” Yejun said interrupting his unsuccessful explanation. She then turned around and went to her room. She wanted Donghae to grab her wrist and turn her around. But he didn’t stop her. Yejun went under her covers and closed her eyes.

Donghae went to put Lindy down in her room and wanted to explain to Yejun that it was all a misunderstanding but thought maybe it was better if he let Yejun be.

With a saddened and deep heart he walked out the apartment. Missing Yejun since it’s been days since he last saw her. And now that he finally got to see her, she was mad at him.

Lindy woke up the next day with no memory of what had happened the night before but she could sense Yejun in a bad mood

“Did you not get a lot of sleep?” Lindy asked Yejun.

Yejun got up from the kitchen and walked to her room. She checked her phone to notice a few missed calls and messages from Donghae but decided to ignore them.

Lindy tried to think about the night before but couldn’t. She didn’t even know how she ended up home. The rest of the day went on like this and so did the next day as well as the day after that.

“Donghae, you were her reason for living. You can’t let her go now.” Lindy said. It has been many days since the incident but Lindy still doesn’t remember it. Yejun has been in an upset mood but won’t talk about it and it’s really starting to scare Lindy. Lindy was again in her office with a bottle of Soju calling Donghae. Although she was still pretty sober she could feel the intoxication coming.

“Maybe it’s for the better noona.” Donghae said with a strain voice. He was in his room and just came back from a busy schedule. He hasn’t gone to see Yejun since that night and she won’t respond to his calls or texts. He’s giving her space just like what she asked for because he thinks it’s for the better. But in reality he feels like he’s dying. Being apart from Yejun hurts. Not talking to her hurts. Her being mad at him hurts. But his main priority at the moment was for Yejun to get better, even if that means he has to hurt a bit.

“What do you mean for the better? Donghae, you came all this way with her and now you’re letting her go? You have no idea about her state right now. If anything I’m afraid she’ll end up back in the hospital because she’s so alone.” Lindy’s words began to slur.

“Noona stop drinking, will you? Please. Yejun is already suffering enough. If she saw your state she’ll suffer even more.”

After Donghae ended his call with Lindy he roles over on his bed. He shoves his head in his pillow because he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep again. Whenever he closed his eyes he didn’t see darkness. He saw Yejun’s smiles. He felt her touch. But then the image of her on a hospital bed came back. Bandaged everywhere while in a coma. He lifts his head up and looks at the time. 11pm. His day had started at 4 am. He grabs his car keys and decides to go for a drive hoping to clear his mind.

After about 40 minutes he ends up in front of a building. A building which he hasn’t been to for days but he didn’t purposely end up there. Something just pulled him. He goes into the building and through the elevators pressing the button to get to the floor which he wants. Once he reaches that floor he gets out the elevator and begins to walk down the halls and stops in front of a door. He looks at the door and feels some fresh tears going down his face. He hears nothing on the other side of the door. He wipes his tears and lifts up his shaking hand to ring the doorbell.

After about two minutes Yejun, dressed in her pjs, answers the door.

“H-hey” Donghae says hesitantly. Yejun was surprised by Donghae’s late visit and tear stained face.

She allows him in and they both take a seat at the kitchen table across from each other. Yejun gets up to get both of them something to drink.

“How have you been?” Donghae asks. He’s looking down at the table and not at Yejun when he talks.

“Fine” Yejun responds.

“Are we going back to the list of questions I ask just to get you to talk?” Donghae says. He wasn’t trying to sound rude or harsh but it came off like that.

Yejun took in a deep breath and looked around the room.

“With Lindy… I know it seemed weird. That night. But she just got a bit drunk and asked me to drive her home. No big deal.” Donghae said trying to explain that night to Yejun.

As much as Yejun believed him she couldn’t stop being mad at him. She became jealous of Lindy. Why did he respond to her? Why would he go see Lindy but not her?

“I don’t want you to be upset with me.” Donghae says lifting his head to look at Yejun.

Yejun didn’t look at him and said softly “I’m not upset with you I just want to be alone.”

That’s all Yejun every said, that she wanted to be alone. But Donghae didn’t want Yejun to be alone. He felt like this was just an excuse to push him away. “I just want time for the two of us” Donghae said intensifying his stare, “you always ask for space. You asked me to help you by giving you space. But can you help me by giving me what I need, which is time for the both of us?”

Yejun didn’t say anything. She felt Donghae’s softness in his words but they were firm, as in it’s what he wanted. This scared Yejun. She couldn’t look at him but she felt tears threatening to fall because these feelings scared her. She didn’t want to feel them. She didn’t want to feel them for Donghae.

“I’ve been giving you time and space but what about us?” Donghae tries again.

Again Yejun didn’t respond but a tear rolled down her face. She got up to go to the bathroom to clean her face. But before she could reach the washroom she felt a firm chest touching her back. Two strong arms then wrapped around her and she felt a slight pressure in the crook of her neck. She stopped walking at the sudden contact of a back hug from Donghae.

“I love you” Donghae said lightly into her ear.

At that moment Yejun loved him but hated him because of the feelings he gave her. She loved him for loving her. For hugging her. For being genuine with her. But he hated him for the same reasons as well. Yejun doesn’t like or allow people in her personal space but she liked Donghae in her personal space because it relaxed her. It made her feel loved. Then she thought she didn’t deserve it.

Doghae knew that what he was doing at that moment was opposite from staying away from her like he’s tried to do. He couldn’t help it though. He needed her love at that moment even if it was just for a bit. He needed Yejun and her presence. Just this hug. I promise. He thought to himself.

Once Donghae let Yejun go she went to the washroom. Once in there she began to cry harder because of the fight she had inside of herself. She wanted to hug Donghae back but she couldn’t. The warmth he’s given her is still something she isn’t used to but craves for. No one gives her warmth aside from Lindy. Yejun is afraid, she doubts her own love for Donghae because she can’t even make herself be with him no matter how much she wants it.

Yejun cleans her face from the tears then sits down with Donghae in silence.  Finally she says something, “What have you been up to?” she asks.

“Schedules. And you?” he responds.

Yejun didn’t like him being vogue. He was once so in love with Yejun but him distancing just showed Yejun that he never really loved her. But you asked for space, Yejun thought to herself. The moment they had a few seconds ago was just a moment. Donghae became vogue with his answers and actions again because he knew he needed to let Yejun go so she could recover properly.

“Nothing” she responds.

Donghae looks down. Am I forgiven? He missed Yejun so so so much. “I think I’ll go now” He says.

Don’t leave. Yejun thinks but says “Okay”.

Ask me to stay, Donghae thinks as he gets up from his chair.

They both walk to the front of the apartment and then stop in front of the door. Donghae puts his shoes back on then looks at Yejun. Once he tries to make eye contact she immediately looks in a different direction to avoid his eyes.

“Thanks for coming” Yejun says.

Donghae smiles at her then turns around to leave.

Once Donghae leaves Yejun goes to her room to cry. She cries and cries from the pain she feels.

“I missed you so much.” She says out loud. “I’m sorry but I can’t accept you yet. But please don’t let me go yet.”

Yejun falls asleep and by the time Lindy makes it home she passes out on the couch.

Yejuns days were again going by slowly with little to nothing to do. Lindy was out of the house more often in her ‘office’. But that was something Yejun didn’t believe. She did receive a few calls from Donghae but not as many as she used to.

Maybe I should let you go Donghae. Our love didn’t last the storm. Our love has faded away. So please don’t contact me anymore. It hurts so much as it is. Let’s end this here? I think it’s better that way. I promise I’ll find my happiness someday. You will too. Let’s go our separate ways Donghae.

Yejun thought about this every night. She rarely saw Donghae and slowly she was getting less and less in touch with her emotions. She still wasn’t talking to Lindy and she still only would speak with Donghae. Her condition was just getting worse and worse.

Lindy was also getting worse with her drinking. She usually couldn’t spend even an hour without a sip of alcohol and often carried some in her bag. Yejun noticed but decided to say nothing.

It was already spring time and the weather was getting warmer. Yejun was home alone like most days and was waiting for Lindy to come home so they could have a much needed talk. Lindy said she went out grocery shopping but came home with more bottles of wine than she did groceries.

“L-lindy?” Yejun said in a strain voice as Lindy began to put groceries away.

Lindy, surprised by Yejuns voice dropped the fruit in her hands and looked wide eyed at Yejun, “y-yes?” she said.

“I- I think we should leave.” Yejun said. She looks out the window to the city of Seoul and see’s nothing there for her.

“You’re talking.”

“Yes. Let’s go back to Canada.” Yejun says.

Lindy doesn’t know how to respond. Yejun was talking. But now she wants to go back to Canada.

“It will be better for both of us.” Yejun says trying to snap Lindy back to reality.

“Hun, I don’t know if you’re thinking straight. I’ll make a doctors appointment for you. But hun, listen,  I understand things are hard right now but you can get through it.” Lindy said. She was so surprised Yejun was talking.

“No. I’m being honest. There is nothing here for us and we’re both a mess. If we go back we can still get our lives back on track. I can do modeling there and I’ll be at home.” Yejun was frustrated with Lindy. This whole time she’s been pushing her to stay in Korea but maybe her not getting better is a sign that it’s better for them to leave.

The next day Lindy starts making phone calls to their connections in Canada and realized many were enthusiastic and happy if they were able to work with Yejun again. 

Haaiii!!!!!

I'M SORRY for the late update :( 

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So...will Yejun really go back to Canada...is Donghae seriousl letting her go? :O 

omg they had body contact!

I hope this chapter wasn't too short... I ended it there for a reason

Enjoy reading!!