“Yejun, hun wake up. We’re here.” Lindy said shaking Yejun gently.

Yejun opened her eyes slowly and took in a deep breath. She had slept most of the plane ride and saw the sad smile on Lindy’s face.

“We will now be landing and we ask that all passengers have their seat belts on. Thank you for choosing Air Korea and we hope you have a good day.” The intercom said.

Yejun looked out her window. The sun was setting and the city already had many of their lights on. Home. I’m home. Yejun then wanted another tear to fall but she didn’t allow it. She decided to stay strong.

Once the plane landed Lindy and Yejun got off and went to pick up all their luggage’s. They went through the doors which lead into the waiting area for where they would be picked up. There were groups of people hugging and crying to finally see their family and friends again while others were just trying to find a taxi. Yejun began looking for the person who would pick them up. She then saw a tall male standing there with a smile on his face. Yejun became excited because it has been a long time since she saw him.

The tall male waved at them as they walked towards each other. “Yejun! Lindy!” he yelled.

“Minho!” Yejun said excitedly. Once they reached each other they hugged and Yejun felt like crying.

Yejun and Lindy would be staying at Minho’s. Lindy had her own place but Yejun and Minho told her she can stay over his place until the next day at least because they were both jet lagged. Once they arrived home Lindy and Yejun went right to bed again letting their exhaustion take over and preparing their body to face the next week, or more, to fight being jet lagged.

“Did you eat something today?” Leeteuk asked Donghae. They were already at the arena at which they would be performing. All the members had breakfast at the hotel but Leeteuk saw Donghae barely touching his small plate of food.

“Yeah” Donghae answers quietly. They were about to do a rehearsal of their dance and Donghae was making sure he had all the steps correctly. He did eat but not a lot. He had a piece of toast with a side of yogurt. He didn’t feel like eating but he knew he had to in order to push his body. He also took some pills to give him more energy, hoping his body will pull through. It still felt weak from the day before.

“Okay. If you don’t feel good just tell me. I’ll talk to our manager hyungs to see what can be done.” Leeteuk then walked off knowing Donghae would protest to this. But Leeteuk was the leader and had to make sure the boys were good. As an idol group, they were used to pushing themselves past their bodily limits but for one of them to faint it takes a lot. This is why Leeteuk was very scared for Donghae. He had to look out for the boy. He knew something was up but didn’t know exactly.

After their rehearsal they boys headed back to the hotel. Leeteuk had pulled Eunhyuk to the side earlier and told him to come to his room later and alone, and also not to tell anyone. Eunhyuk was somewhat puzzled as to why his hyung was being mysterious but he agreed and said he would go.

“Sit down Hyuk.” Leeteuk said once Eunhyuk arrived to his room later in the day. Leeteuk always had his own room and it was always one of the better and more expensive ones.

“Hyung, did you want to talk about something? What’s wrong?” Eunhyuk said. He sat down at a small wooden and round table in the dinning room. Leeteuk sat across from him.

“Look, I know something is wrong with Donghae. We all know. And he gave us quite the scare the other day. Out of all the members I know that you know best about what he hides. So please fill me in because as the leader of Super Junior, and also because I care for Donghae as a brother, I am truly worried about him and want to help.”

Eunhyuk knew their leader was being sincere. All of the members were like a family and they’ve been together for so long. But Donghae and Eunhyuk have always been close. Could Eunhyuk really tell Leeteuk?

“Hyung, I think you should ask Donghae about it if you really want to know.” Eunhyuk says.

“He isn’t talking.” Leeteuk responds.

Eunhyuk takes in a deep breath and rubs his face with his hands. Why am I always involved in this? Aish!

“It has to do with Yejun.” Eunhyuk says.

“I thought so. What is it this time? Have things gotten really bad that he’s gone this far? What if he falls into depression? This isn’t the Hae that we know.” Leeteuk said while getting up to pace around his room.

“It’s gotten bad between them. That’s all I’ll say. I knew this would happen but I promised Yejun something so I have to keep it.”

“What did you promise her?”

“I’ll only tell you if you promise to help me.”

“Hyung, when we end we’re facing the right side of the stage not the left!” Kyuhyun yelled out of frustration. They had practiced many times and this isn’t the first time they’ve performed the song. The maknae, who likes things to be done right, was starting to become frustrated with Donghae.

“Aish, let’s do it one more time and I’ll get it right.” Donghae said.

They had already done it four times and every time Donghae had done it wrong.  Kyuhyun wasn’t the only member who was frustrated with him.

“Let’s just take a break” Kyuhyun said then walked away with a disappointed look.

But Donghae wasn’t one to let these types of things go. He was frustrated as well but he wasn’t going to stop practicing just because the other members went to take a break. He asked that they play the song again and they did, and Donghae danced on stage alone until he was able to get the final move right.

The boys were getting ready for their performance. They had 9 minutes until it was their turn. Some members were still practicing moves while others were making sure their hair and make-up was perfect. Donghae just sat there with his head in his arms, completely exhausted and trying to keep his body awake. Most of the make-up was able to hide his dark circles and make him seem like he had some color. He barely slept and all he had was breakfast. He practiced throughout lunch and skipped dinner thinking his body didn’t need it.

“Hae, are you okay?” Eunhyuk asks going beside him.

“I’m fine.” He says lowly.

“Teuk is worried.”

“I’ll do fine.” He says out of frustration then gets up to move from his spot.

Soon someone came in and lead the boys to the stage because they were to go on in 2 minutes. Leeteuk was counting heads making sure every member was present. Once he assured they all were there he saw Donghae’s hands shaking a bit.

“Donghae did you eat anything?” Leeteuk whispers into his ear.

“Yes.” He lied.

“Kay.”

The members then proceeded to the stage for their turn. The crowd was going crazy and the members loved it. The louder it became though the harder it was for Donghae to concentrate. Then he heard the music playing through his ear piece and he started moving his body to what he had been practicing. The flashing lights on the stage made him unstable a few times and ran into members. Other times he was off beat but he still managed to pull off the performance. At one point Leeteuk gave him a look to make sure he was okay.

Once the performance was done and they all said goodbye to their fans the members left to back stage. Donghae had his head down the whole time as he walked back to their dressing room. Once all the members and managers were there they began to monitor their performance. Donghae saw every mistake he made. Every off beat move, every time he did something wrong. Although it was hard to catch unless you know the choreography as much as the members, he was sure fans and reporters would say something about it.

“Aish,” one of the mangers said rubbing his eyes. “Donghae.” He said in a whisper.

Donghae looked over to his manager once they finished monitoring their performance. His manager didn’t know what to say. The dance wasn’t perfect or nearly as good as to what the members always do. They were in a foreign country and the performance was just messed up.

Donghae began to feel the guilt and his legs began to shake.

Eunhyuk looks over to Donghae with a disappointed look but notices the boy was shaking and getting even more pale. “Woah, Hae. Are you okay?” Eunhyuk runs to his side to support Donghae so that he wouldn’t fall. Donghae leans a bit on Eunhyuk as they walk towards the couches in the room.

“When is our flight back hyung?” Leeteuk asks the manager once he saw Donghae’s state. Although he was disappointed in the boy he also was worried and saw that he needed to see a doctor or go to the hospital soon.

“In 6 hours.” The manager replied in a cold voice.

Eunhyuk went to grab a wet towel as Donghae began to sweat. He curled up into a ball on the couch and fell asleep. He was still shaking a bit and his color still wasn’t there.

“What are we gonna do with you Hae?” Leeteuk whispered to himself as he brushed his fringe out of his eyes.

It had been about a week since Yejun went back to Canada. Most of her jet lag was gone but there was still a bit left. Lindy had left to her own apartment in Toronto while Yejun stayed at her brothers. She was home a lot though considering that Minho was a doctor, he had a lot of work to do.

“It’s just a small party for the company. It’s turning 30 and they’re having a celebration in New York.” Lindy said over the phone while she was still unpacking.

“I don’t know if I’m really up for that.” Yejun said. She was sitting in her room.

“It’ll be fun. And it’s been a long time since you went to New York so let’s do it!” Lindy tried. The two didn’t get to see each other every day anymore which made it weird. Because they’ve been together for so long and now they had to separate. Yejun already did one photo shoot yesterday so she got to see Lindy then.

“Fine. But only for one night then I want to come home.” Yejun agreed.

Lindy had her parents and sister in Canada who she was staying with. They were shocked but excited to hear that she was coming back.

Yejun talked to her parents the other day she came back and they didn’t want to see her. It’s not a surprise to her though. Her parents never wanted to see her. All her parents said on the phone was that they didn’t want Yejun to be running back to them. She still had no clue how she would restore her relationship with her parents but she figured she would somehow.

Yejun was home alone a lot and when Minho was home she was sleeping trying to get over her jet lag. This meant that she often had free time to wander around in her mind. Although she tries not to do that because she’ll often become upset. But now her mind was filled with only one thing and this one thing, or person I should say, made her the most upset. Not because he did something but because she did nothing.

I miss you.

Yejun knew though that she couldn’t think about him. That she needed to let go. That things are different now and she needed to move on. She knew she couldn’t dwell on what happened and had to look forward to her future. She came to Canada for a reason so now she has to accomplish it here. If not then coming back home would have just been a waste.

There were moments when Yejun cried though. It was usually when she was alone in her room. Most of the things she brought from Korea were her clothes. Her new room seemed empty. Her closet was empty. She didn’t have those boxes of thing which Donghae gave her to look at when she was lonely or when she missed him. She didn’t have him anymore. And that’s what upset her most. A single tear rolled down her cheek when she looked at the emptiness of her room.

Donghae had been a wreck. He barely sleeps and eats. He overworks his body and collapses once exhausted. He doesn’t care anymore. To him nothing matters anymore. He doesn’t cry but he doesn’t smile either. He’ll still do activities and try his best but often he’ll lose strength easily. He gets scolded often by the company, by his managers and by the members. He takes it all though. He was almost beat even and he was willing to take it.

All the members had just come back from a day of filming a variety show. Their schedule started early in the morning and all they had was an hour lunch which was over 10 hours ago. It was late into the night but the members were hungry.

Ryeowook went into their fridge digging out some left overs to warm up for everyone. Heechul went into his room asking to be called out when the food was ready. The other members did the same while some sat around on the couch or helped Ryeowook. Leeteuk was coming out of the kitchen when he noticed Donghae with his gym bag in hand and ready to leave.

“Donghae, you should eat something before you leave.” Leeteuk said tiredly as he began walking to the table. Donghae had refused to eat and no one even sees him eat. Sometimes he’ll nibble at something but that’s it.

“I’m not hungry.” Donghae said. He put on a baseball cap and walked passed Leeteuk.

“You haven’t eaten all day. Just have something small.” Leeteuk tried.

“No.”

All the members began to look at Donghae and Leeteuk knowing a scene was about to start.

“Donghae, your health-“

“STOP!” Donghae yelled at Leeteuk. He was tired of his hyungs nagging him about his health. He gets it. He’s screwing up but why can’t they see things form his point of view?

“LEE DONGHAE, SNAP OUT OF IT!” Leeteuk yelled back.

Donghae dropped his gym bag and through his cap to the ground. He was getting closer and closer to Leeteuk when Eunhyuk began to hold back Donghae.

“I CAN’T!” Donghae yelled back with tears in his eyes.

“Stop being so childish! Be professional and take care of yourself!” Leeteuk yelled but he wasn’t finished. “Just because Yejun left doesn’t mean you have to stop your life!”

Right once Leeteuk finished that sentence Donghae lunged at Leeteuk. But before Donghae got to Leeteuk,  Kangin had grabbed Donghae and Heechul came out of his room on time to go between the two men.

“YAH!” Heechul screamed, “Why are you two fighting?” he asks oddly calmly.

“Aish, forget it.” Leeteuk said and was about to walk away. This wasn’t the first time he’s fought with the members or the even the members amongst themselves. They were all men who grew up together so things did get physical at one point. Leeteuk walked to his room and slammed the door shut.

Kangin had let go of Donghae and all the members were staring. Some of them had gotten out of their seats in case they needed to interfere as well. The ones who were in their room had come out to see what was going on. No one knew what to do next and the atmosphere had an awkward silence.

A beep went off in the kitchen. It was the rice cooker indicating it was done cooking. “I’ll get it.” Ryeowook says quietly and rushes off.

Donghae shook off Eunhyuks hand which was on his shoulder, grabbed his baseball cap and gym bag then walked out of the dorm.

Hello,

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a long time!

Forgieve me v.v because the fic isn't over yet

I will be posting another chapter in the next few days or possibly tomorrow so please watch out for it...

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