Lindy left around 5:30 to attend a mandatory dinner but didn’t want to wake up Yejun. But Yejun had waited until she cried herself to sleep. She cried from the exhaustion she felt on her head from crying so much that she just fainted. She woke up around 7 by the door bell. Yejun managed to get herself out of bed and looked on the camera who was there and saw a familiar coat. She opened the door and Donghae was standing there. Without a word she made room for the man to step in and she went straight to the living room.

“Were you sleeping?” he asks her.

“Uhm, yeah” she responds not looking at him.

“I’m sorry. You can go back to bed if you want. I was just worried because you weren’t answering your phone and Lindy said she was going out” Donghae says as he sits down on a different couch from her.

“I turned it off” Yejun says. She felt guilty about earlier. She felt like she had bothered Donghae by going to visit him, she felt like she embarrassed him by not greeting him properly and rejecting the food he tried to feed her. He was probably really busy and tired and she shouldn’t have gone. “Donghae?”

“Yes?” he responds with a smile on his face but clear bags under his eyes.

“can you tell me how I was like before?” Yejun has been wanting to ask this for a long time but didn’t know who or how to ask.

A small smile appears on Donghae’s face “You know I love you either way. It doesn’t matter how you were before because I’ll always love you for who you are” he says.

“But I need to know, please”

Donghae takes in a deep breath hearing the desperation in her voice “when we first met you were quiet and shy, just like me. In a way this made us click. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and your personality was amazing once we started to spend time with each other. You are really fun to be around, you are quiet but really you just love trying new things and having fun. You are much more out going than expected and love to goof around. We have a lot of good memories”.

Yejun  looks down at the floor then back at Donghae “you miss her” she says to him.

“What?” he asks looking at Yejun confused.

“You’re in love with this girl from before the car crash. You’re in love with that me. You don’t love this me.” Yejun says with tears in her eyes.

“No, what are you talking about? You’re still that amazing person I fell in love with.”

“No, Donghae I’m not. When will you get that? She’s gone. Now there is only some lifeless girl here. Why are you trying so hard? I feel guilty Donghae. I feel guilty for bothering you so much, for not remembering, for having you come over all the time when you’re clearly busy. So please let me feel better, let me become happy and just leave me alone. There is nothing between us. This love is one sided.” Yejun said. She was hurt. Everything she said was true. Yes she began to fall for Donghae, but the more she fell the more she felt guilty for making him miserable. Things had to change and she was number one of all things because she clearly has the biggest impact on Donghae.

Donghae didn’t know how to respond to her. He felt his eyes getting wet and didn’t know what to do anymore. He never once thought about giving up on Yejun. He has hope that she would remember him or at least want to remake their memories. But things have just become overwhelming and he doesn’t know how to react. “Tell me what you want me to do. I’ll do anything. I’m desperate for your love. Yes I admit I love you from before the car crash but do you really think that I don’t love you for who you are now? If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t put so much time and effort into being with you, I wouldn’t want this relationship between us to work out. I’m not with you because I pity you, I’m with you because its what I want. I can’t live without you, you’re my oxygen.  I need you to live. I’m sorry if I make you feel guilty. I’m sorry if I’m becoming a burden but please don’t look at me like that. Look at me with loving eyes, with eyes that say thank you. Don’t think I do all of this because I want you to change. I just want to help you.” Donghae said while staring intently at Yejun.

Yejun stared at the ground not knowing what to do. She had fallen. Fallen for Donghae. And these feelings scared her. She didn’t want someone coming into her heart. She didn’t want someone to care so much about her. She didn’t think it was possible.

“Help me by giving me space” Yejun said with a shaky voice. It isn’t what she wants. The thought of Donghae distancing himself from her was scary. She didn’t want space. She liked how close Donghae was getting to opening her but she knew it wasn’t right. She knew she could no longer do it. He knew that she was stressing out Donghae and he didn’t deserve that. He deserved better.

Donghae didn’t know what to say. She wanted space? How much? For how long? Why? Was he making her uncomfortable? Anxious? Nervous? What is he to do? “What if I can’t do that?” he responds.

Yejun looks up from the ground. Again Donghae is staring at her with tears in his eyes. This broke her heart. Knowing she was the reason behind these tears. That he was crying because of her. “Then you’re making my life miserable.” Yejun responds as she stomps away to her room. She was crying. It was clear that she was. She just didn’t want Donghae to see how much it hurt her to say that because it was a lie. He wasn't making her life miserable.

Donghae hears her room door slam close. He sits back down on the couch and takes in a heavy breath putting his hands over his face. He doesn’t know what to do. His head tells him to give up, that he’s already tried so hard but his heart won’t let him give up. His heart will only hang on. His heart will only look at Yejun and no one else. He gets up from the couch and leaves. The pain he feels is too immense and he just needs to think.

Donghae is speeding down the streets of Seoul when he decides to call someone.

“Yubosayo?” the man on the other side of the line says.

“Hyukjae” Donghae says in a soft broken voice.

“Donghae, whats wrong?” Eunhyuk says. The two have been best friends for many years and right now is a time when Donghae needs Hyuk.

“Yah, I never said anything was wrong. Lets get a drink.” Donghae says trying to sound happy.

“Pabo, you can’t even take a sip of alcohol and you want to get some?” Eunhyuk say with a chuckle in his voice trying to lighten up the atmosphere. “Lets meet in the usual place then.” Eunhyuk says then hangs up his phone.

Donghae takes a left turn to go to the private place which the memebers always go to get a drink.

Eunhyuk shows up about 10 minutes after Donghae when he realizes Donghae is wearing sun glasses in-doors. Eunhyuk sits down on the floor across from Donghae in the private room of the bar. He notices the down atmosphere around Hae but doesn’t say anything.

“There is no need for sun glasses in-doors Hae” Eunhyuk says then reaches over to pull them off his face. Once he takes them off he realizes Donghae’s red puffy eyes. Eunhyuk is used to seeing Donghae cry because he cries often but he isn’t used to seeing that look in his eyes. Such a painful expression in his eyes.

Donghae opens a bottle of Soju and pours a glass for the two of them.

“Hae, take it easy. You can’t handle a full glass.” Eunhyuk says. But Donghae doesn’t listen and takes the whole glass in one shot.

Donghae feels the alcohol going through his body. He feels the intoxication filling up his insides and the burn in his throat.

“What happened?” Eunhyuk then asks as he takes a sip from his drink. He realizes a tear rolling down Donghae’s cheek.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” Donghae responds with a shakey voice.

Eunhyuk looks at the state which his dear friend is in and gets up to go sit beside him. He pats him on the back “hey, its gonna be okay.” He says with a soothing voice.

Donghae reaches to open another Soju and pours himself a glass. He tries to bring it to his mouth but he can’t. He’s already too intoxicated.

“She-“ Donghae tries to say but immediately begins to cry into Eunhyuk’s shoulder.

Eunhyuk knows who Donghae was talking about. Who this ‘she’ is. All the members know. She used to go out with all of them. She was once friends with all of them. Eunhyuk knew Donghae found the one the second he met Yejun. Everyone loved her. She was impossible to not love. The members went to go see her when she was in the hospital in her coma but not after she woke up. Mostly because Donghae didn’t want her to feel too overwhelmed by people she didn’t remember. He knew Donghae had been going on his free time to see her and spend time with her. He knew because he saw the invisible tears in his eyes whenever he came home. He knew because he saw his happiness leaving him little by little. Its something all the members knew but Donghae refused to talk about it. He said she was doing fine and she was just recovering. That soon she will remember and soon things will go back to normal. But Eunhyuk knew something wasn’t normal.

“You went to go see Yejun today?” Eunhyuk asked as he took another sip of his Soju.

Donghae nods his head.

“Things are getting that bad Hae?” Eunhyuk asks getting right to the point.

“I-I don’t know anymore. She’s on anti depressants. She’s always crying. Eunhyuk she pushes me away so far. But then when I feel like she wants to get closer she just closes up again and doesn’t want to see me.” Donghae is crying and his words are slurring. He promised himself he would never let any of the members see him this bad but he couldn’t hold it in. He needed help and so did Yejun. If him getting help would help Yejun in a way then he was willing to do it.

“Why is she on anti depressants? What’s wrong with her?” Eunhyuk asks. He knew she lost her memory and things weren’t going so well but up to the point that she needs anti depressants was surprising. She’s usually a very bright person.

“She’s depressed Hyuk! Why else would she be? I’m not enough to make her happy.” That’s what hurt him most. Afraid to lose her in depression because he isn’t able to make her happy, to make sure she knows how special she really is.

“You’re really bad at talking Hae. Have you tried talking to her about this?” Eunhyuk asks.

“No” Donghae responds and manages to take a sip of his Soju.

“You should. Talk to her. Make her  feel loved. Make her feel special. But baby steps first right? So make  her smile first, then make her laugh, then maker her blush and give her butterflies. You’re good looking Hae there is no way she can resist you.” Eunhyuk says trying to make Donghae smile.

Donghae takes another sip of Soju and suddenly everything goes black. Eunhyuk notices Donghae’s head suddenly going to the side. He looks at the angelic face which passed out from alcohol intake even though he barely had more than a glass. But even when Donghae is sleeping he notices he’s crying. Eunhyuk raises his hand to wipe the tears and decides to take Donghae back to the dorm.

Hello again ^^

Thank you to my new subscribers and readers ^^ I love the comments!

I know this chapter is also short but i think I'll start shortening the chapters so that the story doesn't go by so quickly :(

I hope you guys really like this story and thanks for the support ^^