"Don't be so stupid.  There is no Miyoung.  She's gone.  Or is that what you want?"

I watched her stand up from her chair.  Taking a breath of reassurance, she straightened her back and stepped towards the glass doors, leading herself out to the garden.  My heart was beating wildly within the cramped confinements of my rib cage.  My breath came ragged and frustrated.  I was furious.  I hated how much this was effecting me.

Despite telling myself that I would not, I soon found myself leaping from the table and chasing after Hyojin.  I saw her rounding one of the larger trees, noting her cold shoulders and bare feet on the grass rather than taking in my own coldness and lack of appropriate clothing.

"Yahh!  I asked you a question.  Do you want to be gone just like Miyoung is?  Do not walk away from me Park Hyojin!"  I rounded the same tree she had but she was not there.  A disgruntled sound rumbled in my chest as I searched the garden for her.  Why did we have such a large garden anyway?  What did we need these trees for?  I became even more furious with myself when I noticed her sitting on the grass - her back against a tree stump while her legs were being hugged tightly against her.  The sight of her made my chest tighten further and that aggravated me.  "Stop ignori-"

"Leave me along, Leeteuk."

I paused in my stride.  Did she call me that?  When I failed to answer her, she looked at me.  Tear stained cheeks blushed as the sight of me and made my stomach churn.  My hands fisted by my sides, to stop myself from reaching for her - to stop myself from holding and comforting her.  She flinched at the sight of my whitening knuckles however and I knew she thought otherwise, yet I couldn't find it in myself to explain.

"I'm not stupid.  I know there is far more to this than what you're telling me.  I don't want to push you, you don't have to say anything you don't wish for me to know.  But I'm involved in this also.  Those boys in the street spoke of me and my classmates, they knew me yet I had never saw them in my life.  Miyoung invaded our home, Jungsu, not yours.  When something is in my life I like to understand it.  Why can't I understand you?"

I let a shaking hand move through my hair.  How could I tell her?  How could I distort her beautiful and innocent mind with my dark past?  I couldn't.  I would not.  As her husband, that was my protection for her.  As her lover, that was my fear to lose her.

"My past is of no concern.  My future is of no promise.  My present is who you need to know.  I'm not the man I was then, I don't want you to know him.  But if you stop with your disturbing fascination, then you can get to know the me now.  The Jungsu in front of you."

Her body trembled and I refused to resist any longer.  Crouching down, I forced my hands behind her back and under her legs and collected her from the cold ground.  Her breath caught audibly in and I felt her muscles stiffen.  her spine, I tried to help her relax as I carried her back to the house.  Our house.  Our home.

"Jungsu, I can walk..."

"I don't care."  I needed her to trust me.  I needed her to see that I was trying too.  Trying to understand this life, this situation, this experience.  Trying to make everything better again.

Once inside I took her to the living room and laid her down on a chair.  Her eyes were wide and sparkly.  They stared at me with confusion and hope.  In front of her, I sat back on the edge of the coffee table.  Placing my elbows on my knees, I let myself go.  I let my heart feel what I had been fighting.  I let myself acknowledge what I had only shared under the intoxication and influence of alcohol.  I let myself love her.

"I understand.  But I can't tell you.  My past is dark and I can't let you fall into danger.  As for Miyoung, I thought I did love her.  I thought she was everything to me," I watched as her expression weakened.  I could clearly see her fighting the emotions welling to be released and felt great pride in how strong she was trying to be even during such a difficult time, "until I fell in love with you.  I've never felt an attraction so strong before and it angers me.  It infuriates me that I'm so weak against you.  It riles me even more than you think so lowly of yourself.  Don't even strive to be another woman.  Don't even envy another woman.  Because no-one has had a greater impact on me than what you do, Hyojin."

She leapt at me.  I didn't realise it until I was on the floor, holding her against me and feeling her body shake in my arms.  I hardly heard her cries or words of love, the drumming of blood in my ears was so loud and deafening.  But I was aware of her.  I was aware of her being, her thoughts, her feelings, her everything.  She didn't need to speak because I could feel her thoughts before she processed them.  The string keeping us tethered together lessened and pulled us tighter and tighter towards each other until I could not resist it anymore.

I yielded to her.  Like a sorceress, she bewitched me and lead me through a path I had never encountered before.

I knew what I had to do.  I didn't know how I could protect her, but I knew I would.  I thought avoidance was the only way to protect her but remembering their recognition of Hyojin in the streets told me otherwise.  I would keep her close, and figure out the rest as I went along.

They wouldn't get away with seeking her out.  They were going to regret threatening Park Hyojin.

My Park Hyojin.

--

[A/N:  Annyeong-haseyo~ ❣╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯❣

I hope everyone had a great start of the week yesterday and I hope that greatness continues on today also.  Please keep smiling lots and sharing your positive nature with the world!  //sprinkles °₊·ˈ∗♡( ˃̶᷇ ‧̫ ˂̶᷆ )♡∗ˈ‧₊°

I've started a new thing to help me maintain my positive thoughts.  What I do is, at the end of every day, I take my post-it notes and I write the date at the top.  Underneath the date on the post-it note I then write one happy thought I had of that day and one negative thought I had from that day.  After writing them down, I place the sticky note in my diary and let my being cleanse itself in preparation for a new day and many new emotions. ♡✧(  ु•⌄• )

Last night was my second time so today would be my third.  You guys should try it too, it's actually really fun!  (♡´౪`♡)

Blessed love and light,

-Kang Hyekyo~ (๑╹ڡ╹)╭ ～ ♡ ]