I awoke in a cold bed.  Hyojin had refused to share the room with me last night, stating it inappropriate as the blush claimed her face.  It was anything but, as her husband we should have shared a bed long ago.

Yet still I was tore from my foggy state of slumber by the alarm clock rather than by the aching awareness of my wife.

The clock stated "05:30am".  Despite the early hour, I knew I could not sleep longer even had I tried.  I wondered if Hyojin had awoken yet.

Memories of last night flooded into my head and I ran a frustrated hand through my hair.  I had never been so confused in my life.  From the first moment I saw Hyojin, retreating from the car in the park, I thought she was beautiful.  Her beauty stole my breath and made my pulse quicken.  It made me furious.  I tried to conceal such reactions but to no avail.  Last night was a night of many revelations for me.

Having Miyoung, the woman I longed for and held so dearly approach me in that way she knew I could not resist.  Watching her saunter towards me and feeling her hands enclose me in her web of infatuation.  That was the crack in the ice for me.  The split that repulsed me.  It took everything I had not to push her away.  To pry her wretched hands from my skin and remind her that I was not available anymore.  I was deeply confused, when I realised what I was thinking.  Wondering why I wasn't melting inside at the sight of her like I had before.  Wondering why the feel of her hands grazing my skin didn't make me yield as they had before.

What punctured the crack in the ice and made it collapse from beneath me was seeing the look on Hyojin's face as this event took place before her.  Seeing the sheer devastation smack her appearance.  Watching her lose all sense of apparel as she clawed her way to a standing position, fleeing from the room on shaky legs.  I was surprised when I noticed she had made it to the outside of the house.  Her knees appeared unstable and I'm sure the tears that welled, flooded and poured from her eyes must have blurred her vision to some severe extent.

That killed me.

It made my heart clench and my stomach churn.  It made me want to break things.  Anything.  Anger flooded my sense of reason and my emotions at that time were so overwhelming.  I didn't understand any of it. 

I dragged myself out of bed and trudged towards the wardrobe and dressers, collecting the appropriate attire for the day ahead.  Looking in the mirror, I stared at the man reflecting my movements.  I wore my black tailored suit, white shirt and black tie.  I was not the same man who left for a honeymoon.  Somewhere along the line, I had changed before returning.  Even after our return, I had changed immensely since last night.  I could feel the air changing all around me so surreal.  It was Hyojin.  Her mere existence effected everything around me.

I tried not to think of it.  I tried to concentrate on what awaited me at work.  Before going downstairs, I couldn't help but take a quick peak into the room where my wife slept.  Her back faced the door but I could see the rise and fall of each breath she took which showed she was still deep in slumber.  Smiling faintly to myself, I retreated and prepared to leave.

--

I read the note once more while I drank the last remnants of my water.

Hyojin-ah,

I'll be working today and possibly late tonight, I'm not sure

what time I'll be home at so don't be afraid to venture

in any of the painting or dancing rooms or even the

rooms that are meant for me.  Thank you for last night,

you looked so peaceful while sleeping.  I wonder

if you'd sleep better with me?

- Jungsu.

I sat at the small dining table with the note in my hand.  I had been here for the passed hour, re-reading the note over and over again.  My heart jumped each time I read the line "You looked so peaceful while sleeping."  I wondered when he had checked on me and how long he had watched me for.  It made me nervous and self-conscious but also happy.  My heart swelled in my chest when I thought of it.  My broken Jungsu, so harsh and stern and kind and loving all rolled into one.

I wore my denim shorts and a spaghetti-strap top.  The top was white and matched my white sneakers.  I felt summery and happy and wanted to show it in my clothing.  I wondered what Jungsu was wearing.  I looked at the clock which read "11:34am" and decided that I would take some lunch to Jungsu.  I would show him that I'll try my best and make everything better.  Skipping to the fridge, I placed ingredients on the countertop and began making my pancake mix, throwing in fruit and other healthier ingredients to give him the energy he'd need to tackle the work day ahead of him.  Pouring the mix into the skillet, I waited until they were golden and placed them carefully in a lunch box before putting it in my bag.

I couldn't wait to see Jungsu and even more, I couldn't wait to give him his lunch.  I just hoped his workplace wasn't too far from the house, I didn't want his food to get cold before I could give it to him. 

Sungmin was sitting in the car when I perched myself in the back seat.  I asked him if he could take me to Jungsu's workplace and he nodded with a bright smile on his face.  He began the car and turned the radio on to reveal Onew's voice.  Staring at him with quisitive eyes, he just winked and remarked, "Henry told me it's your favourite album.  I thought it'd help you feel more accustomed."

Leaning forward, I hugged him quickly before relaxing back in the chair and letting the music soothe my nerves until we arrived at the building.

The daunting building was a lot larger than expected.  It's height towered over me as I stood at the entrance.  I looked back at Sungmin's car with fear filled eyes before taking a step forward with his encouraging glance.  The lobby was immaculate.  The walls were white with a big mint-green sign above the main desk revealing each level and it's purpose.  I approached the desk and asked where Jungsu's office was before filling out a form and retrieving a "visitor" badge.

Clipping the badge to my top, I headed towards the elevator and made my way up to the 25th floor, where my husband's office was situated.  The walls in the elevator were wooden with mirrored doors and a large mirror on the back wall.  The interior was classy and elegant, portraying Jungsu perfectly.  The elevator moved swiftly and it must have taken seconds to get to my destination but my stomach knotted and my fingers fidgeted and when the doors opened it had felt like I was in the enclosed space for hours.  I took my first steps into another foyer identical to the one on the ground floor.  This foyer however was much less busy and seemed to be half the size of the prior one.

The pristine setting made me feel out of place and very much out of my league but I called on whatever confidence I had within myself and stepped up to the front desk.  A lady sat at the desk wearing a light grey blazer and matching pencil skirt with black heels and a white blouse.  Her brown hair was in a strict pony tail and an aura of intimidation clung to the air, spreading from the lady to everywhere around her, including me.

Taking a breath of good luck, I stated that I was here to see my husband.  She arched a finely shaped eyebrow and told me that Mr. Park was unavailable at the moment.  I was asked to take a seat in the waiting area and took the offer gladly.

As the lady was saying this however, a nearby door opened.  A man entered the foyer.  He was very tall and I'm sure that if I stood next to him then he would tower over me much like Jungsu does so often, although he wasn't as tall as Jungsu.  Thinking about my husband tugged on my heart and I clutched a hand to my chest before turning and moving towards the seats in the waiting area.

"Mrs. Park?"  The man's voice broke the icy air.  It was warm and calming unlike the lady's voice which was stern and precise.

"Ne?"

"Mr. Park has a few moments to spare if you would like to see him now?"

The lady shot a look at the man and I'm not sure what it meant but he had no reaction to her at all.  His demeanor remained poised and welcoming and I was happy to follow his lead back through the door he had emerged from.  The office was huge!  The outer walls were mere windows, presenting to me the view to the city of Seoul.  The floor was white until the centre of the room, which appeared to be a sitting area with two royal blue couches facing each other and a glass coffee table in between them, was carpeted in blue.  Bookcases clung to the surrounding walls so I was unable to tell their colours but I hardly took that in mind.  The room was beautiful and it took me a while to catch my breath at the sight of it.

Jungsu stood from his desk chair and looked at me.  "You came to see me at work?"  His voice filled the air.  It was deep and distracting and I struggled to collect my thoughts.  His suit jacket was laying over one of the royal blue chairs in the corner.  He stood in black trousers with a white shirt tucked into his waist band.  His shoes were black and gleaming.  I took in my husbands appearance along with the area surrounding us and knew that he was destined for great things.

"I...  N...  Ne, mianhae, I could come back later if you're busy?  I...  May...  Maybe I shouldn't have come, mianhae Jungsu-ssi."

"Pabo, you don't have to apologise.  But stop being so polite with how you address me.  Why did you come?"

"I wanted to bring you some lunch."

A smile crept over his face and I was shocked to see it reach his eyes.  "Well don't stand at the door, come in and sit down.  Were you offered a refreshment at all?"

I shook my head and stepped over to the couches that he pointed to.  He pressed a button on his desk and I heard his voice become cold and commanding.  It made me shiver and I wondered if he was that way with everyone.  "Iced water," was all he said.  Somehow I knew that no-one would demand the polite words such as "please" from him however.

He joined me on the opposite couch and the lady from the front desk entered hastily to place a jug of iced water with lemon slices in it on the coffee table with two clear glasses.  Jungsu didn't take his eyes from me but when he spoke, I knew it was her he was referring to, "In future, you will address Mrs. Park with the respect she deserves."

My eyes widened and I shot a glance at the lady quick enough to see the fear smitten over her face.  She bowed and apologised before practically running out the room, closing the door and all communication on her way out.  My heartbeat increased drastically and I figeted more than before.  Was this the life Jungsu would lead for us?  One of power and fear?  Did I want that for myself?

--

[A/N:  Annyeong-haseyo~ (o´∪｀o)

I feel I must be very honest while writing this authors note.  I think this one may be slightly more serious than my previous authors notes have been and quite deeply personal in relations to my current life events. (〃ﾉωﾉ)

I want to genuinely apologise to each and every one of my readers for the mannerisms in which I have been uploading and updating my chapters within this fanfic lately.  I feel that I have been missing deadlines often and have to upload twice a week to make up for missed uploads more often than I had done so before.  The reasons for these missed deadlines are due to ill health, but not only ill health.  While my health is ill I would have time to sit and relax and write.  However many situations that I have passed in my life have been haunting my mind lately and I'm really finding it quite difficult to deal with my experiences at the moment. (〃´Å｀〃)

I suppose this is the time that I must look back and let go.  It's upsetting me a lot that I feel I have distressed readers.  Please understand that my intentions are not in any way to abandon this story.  Writing for this fanfic is one of the few things that are truly helping me at this moment.  I feel that by sharing the story I am sharing a piece of myself and to read the support and love from each reader is honestly the main thing that lifts my spirits during this troublesome time. (〃´ﾉω`〃)

So please do not give up on the fanfic, I promise to work harder and I have already started the chapter for tomorrow.  Despite the fact that I'll only have one day to write the chapter, I want to try my best to have it uploaded and show that I also won't give up.  Let's keep fighting together okay? ヾ(〃ω〃ヾ))

Blessed love and light as well as all of the thanks in the world,

-Kang Hyekyo~  (w´ω｀w) ]