February crept around rather quickly and school was already running its course and tennis season resumed. Sunny had rehabbed as much as she could and was walking much better now, and nearly jogging. She started to get back into the gym working out her lower body; she spent plenty of time on her core and upper body while recovering but it was nice that she could get on the elliptical to put those legs to work. Everything seemed that it would reach normalcy; even Jessica seemed to be herself with the exception of her tennis performance.

“It’s because you haven’t been practicing. You’re not like Tiffy and Taeng who get out and play all the time, it’s okay Jessi. You’re still awesome to me!” Sunny would cheer after the match. Jessica had refused to play doubles because she said she only wanted to play with Sunny, so she had been playing quite a bit of singles and occasionally mixed-doubles. Jessica had frustration written all over her face every time she walked off the court. So much so that Hyomin wouldn’t dare take pictures of it.

“You’re like still amazing to me!” Hyomin said. The dual match against the cross town rivals was always epic and typically friendly. Jessica played four singles matches and only won one, the very last one which was against an opponent of noticeable lower skill level. “Good job!” Jessica wasn’t pleased with herself at all. Sunny could tell and offered to get something to eat for a post-match meal.

“What about Tiffy and Taeyeon?” Jessica asked. Sunny made a cute pensive face that Jessica had always taken pleasure in seeing and darted off to go check.

“Water?” Hyomin said holding out a bottle, with a smile. Hyomin always made it so hard for Jessica to hate her. Jessica wanted to hate Hyomin with all her might, but it was impossible. Hyomin was entirely lovable. “I don’t know that much about tennis, but I still think you are amazing.”

“Thanks, you don’t have to up to me you know. I’ve already accepted you,” Jessica chuckled and took the bottle.

“What?! You’re crazy! Why would I ever have to up to you? I like you, just being nice and all. Sunny wanted to give you a towel, I’m thoughtful. I offer water,” Hyomin responded. “Maybe I’ll even pay for your meal.”

“Really? Maybe we should go somewhere really nice...”

“I said maybe!” Hyomin corrected. “If it’s out of my range I’ll have to ask Sunny to pay for it.”

“Don’t tell me you’re into Sunny for her money?” Jessica asked jokingly. She never really got to talk and play around with Hyomin one-on-one before, but it was certain that Hyomin was genuinely nice with her. Hyomin makes it so hard to hate her. ‘You have the love of my life, and you don’t even know it,’ Jessica thought to herself.

Sunny came back. “The team is going out to eat, so Tiffany and Taeyeon will be doing that too, did you want to join them?”

Jessica was tired and exhausted; she liked her teammates but couldn’t put up the idea of joining a night out with them. She was going to answer but Tiffany had already made the choice. “Jess, we’re going to Cheddar’s, see you there okay?!”

“Well I guess that settles that then huh?” Sunny smiled. Jessica smiled back and gathered up her things. Sunny noticed the racquets that Jessica had used, since the two shared a racquet bag and used the same Radical racquets. “Why are you using my racquets? Mine are the one with yellow grip. My strings are strung differently than yours. Jess, you should use your sticks if you want to win, it’s what you’re used to.”

“I’m not going to let a few pounds be the excuse, you’re going right?” Jessica said holding her car keys up, to the sporty Genesis coupe Sunny’s uncle had purchased her.

“Actually, can I drive?” Hyomin asked. Jessica looked over at Sunny, who nodded to her.

“Sure, Sunny says it’s okay. Don’t wreck it though! It’s still new and I’m quite fond of it,” Jessica replied. “Shotgun.”

Jessica decided to close her eyes and rest on the way to the restaurant; it was just crazy in her mind that Hyomin was driving her car. If it wasn’t for Sunny, Hyomin wouldn’t be behind the wheel. Maybe if it was the old Acura at home, but Hyomin was behind the wheel when that whole incident occurred. Jessica couldn’t blame Hyomin for it; she hadn’t really then or now.

Jessica turned to take a peek at the back seat, Sunny was already napping away. Her recovery also meant she used more energy daily, so she took more naps often to recharge. Jessica had to make sure she didn’t overdo it, since Sunny was so into rehabbing. Jessica smiled at the sight before returning her view to front.

“She just passes out all the time now. But that’s good right? She uses up a lot of energy during the day and she eats more now too. But she doesn’t gain any weight, I just hate that. If I ate as much as her, my clothes would get tighter or something, she’s just...” Hyomin rambled.

“Something else,” Jessica interrupted, or rather finished. Hyomin paused and agreed.

“She’s always been like that. Amazing, just the way she is. You should be totally used to it by now. It’s one of her perks.”

“Yeah, I’m noticing. She’s a gem. She says she feels bad that she couldn’t play with you, I’m just worried that she’ll try to rush her recovery.”

“Don’t worry; I wouldn’t ever let her do that. I got my eye on her,” Jessica smiled.

“Sunny’s so lucky to have friends like you. Jiyeon and Soyeon would never be like that for me. You’re pretty amazing yourself Jessica. I know you, Tiffany and Sunny are all very close. Like super close, but I notice you and her seem closer. Or is that a bit out of line?” Hyomin slipped in. She never really had one-on-one time with Jessica herself, but it was an observation she’d noticed and figured now was a good as time as any to talk about it. “I know I hear from Sunny all the time about Korea, and the three of you guys. I just know she really admires and adores you. I’d like to hear things from you, but if I’m overstepping my bounds.”

Jessica just smiled to herself. “It’s okay, Sunny’s a big part of our lives, it’s only natural to be curious. I guess she should be thankful we all get along,”

“Why? Why wouldn’t we get along?! Are you normally very unfriendly?!”

“Oh no! Nothing like that. Or am I?” Jessica laughed. “No, I was joking. I was just trying to have some fun with you. Sunny, I don’t know if she ever told you but she was in the trainee program for a bit too. She danced and sang with us too. That’s how we first met of course. She eventually dropped out of it on her own because she didn’t want people thinking her family connections got her there. But that’s how it was, because some of the kids about it just like how I was teased a bit about coming from America. Although, they didn’t as much because of her ‘leverage’, but Sunny was my first friend. We went to school together too, so we walked together a lot. She even saved me from bullies once, she’s so tough, even at like tiny.”

“She’s tiny now though,” Hyomin interjected. Both Hyomin and Jessica laughed at the joke.

“She was even smaller! You missed the turn, get the next one and I’ll show you how to get there it will be okay,” Jessica said. They arrived finally to the parking lot after a few extra turns. “We should do this again sometime.”

“Of course!” Hyomin answered. “What did we do though?” Jessica laughed, Hyomin did too, following along. “Oh, you mean talk. Totally! I enjoyed it Jess. Am I allowed to call you Jess? Because it seems only Tiffany or Sunny calls you that...”

“No... You may not,” Jessica said. She then laughed, “Yeah, it’s fine. You can call me Jess. Wake sleeping beauty up.”

********

“Happy Valentine’s Day!”

“Oh my gosh, you really shouldn’t have! How could you?” Hyomin blushed. “I was trying to do something nice for you.”

“Wait, so you’re saying you didn’t?” Sunny chimed in.

“No, I actually have something planned up, but this is just too amazing. I didn’t expect this. Thank you.”

“It’s my first time with an actual Valentine, like a real one.”

“Aww, I’m your first? That makes me special! I’ll be the last too right?” Hyomin commented with a smile. “Can you put them on for me? I wanna wear it today.”

Sunny smiled and took the box from Hyomin and sat on the bed with her. Sunny gently placed the earrings for Hyomin. “They look great on you.”

“Thank you. Oh it looks great! You have amazing taste!” Hyomin proclaimed looking into the mirror. “So why do we have to leave so soon?”

“Well, Tiffany begged, and I mean really really begged for her to have the whole place to herself for today. And being that’ she’s Tiffy, it’s just too hard to say no to her. So Hyunah is spending the day with Sunhwa and Jessica is working at her internship I believe.”

“What does Tiffany have planned?”

“A lot. I mean like a lot! The three of us all helped out in preparing for this. It’s special for her. Jessica, Tiffany and I used to always spend Valentine’s Day together, but this is the first time. We all have someone.”

“Except for Jessica.”

“Yes, but it’s okay. I got her a Valentine too, nothing special. Like in Korea you know Valentine’s Day isn’t a big deal. She actually got me a Valentine and I was like, ‘what’s this for?’ and since then we always been like each other’s Valentine’s. Tiffany too.”

“You have much more amazing stories of Korea then I do.”

“Not really. My life was normal, just like anyone else,” Sunny laughed.

“Except for the whole trainee thing, SM family relations and being a conglomerate’s daughter and friends with f(X)’s Krystal. Dual citizenship. You’re totally normal.” Hyomin amusingly said.

“Yeah, totally,” Sunny laughed. “I’m ready! Where are we going?”

“It’ll be a surprise.”

***********

“So today is about red and pink, candies and flowers?” Hyunah asked.

“Yes, and cards. It’s a day for people to celebrate being in a relationship. All about couples,” Sunhwa answered.

“So what if you aren’t a couple, then what?”

“It’s just sad then. Today is sad.”

“Sad?” Hyunah asked.

“Yup, Sad. S. A. D. Singles Awareness Day,” Sunhwa further explained. “It becomes more apparent who is single today than most other days.”

“So if you’re single, it’s like ‘lonely day’?”

“Well not for me, I’m stuck with you.”

“Would you prefer for me not to be here? Tiffany unnie gets the place to herself, so what else can I do?” Hyunah replied.

“You always speak to me in Korean. Your unnies would be so mad at you,” Sunhwa answered.

“It makes sense that you and I are Korean, we speak Korean so our communication can be good, especially when it’s just us two. We’re by ourselves. We must stick together, for the sake of all of Korea,” Hyunah explained.

“That’s a bit dramatic don’t you think?”

“I’m young, it’s what I’m good at,” Hyunah answered coolly.

*******

“Tiffany, is this surprise for you or for me?! It’s like all pink!” Taeyeon said walking into the house. The home had been transformed into a land of pink, red and white. Sunny, Jessica and Hyunah had helped inflate the hundreds of balloons that decorated the home. There were also an uncountable number of flower petals that were sprinkled throughout.

“Oh please, you know you love it! As our first valentine’s together, I thought we just keep it sweet and simple, and spend the night here. I have dinner and so much more planned,” Tiffany replied, putting a little extra weight on the ‘more’.

“What kind of girl do you take me for?” Taeyeon asked. Tiffany smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss.

“My girl,” Tiffany said. She then skipped away into the kitchen and pulled on a pink apron. She waved an extra one. “You’ll need this for today.”

“I’ve got to cook it too?”

“Don’t act like you don’t like to be in the kitchen!”

**********

“This is the place where we first had lunch together!” Sunny said recognizing the building.

“Surprise!”

“I can’t tell if you’re trying to be sweet and romantic, or maybe you just ran out of ideas,” Sunny said as they made their way inside.

“Could have just been both right?” Hyomin joked. The two were seated and carried on towards their evening.

Hyomin took charge since she’d had Valentine dates before; so Sunny it was another ordinary date, except everyone out was a couple.

*******

“You didn’t have any plans tonight?” Seyeon asked.

“No, not really. Just another ordinary night,” Jessica answered casually. She had been putting in a good amount of work during her internship; she went from the ‘copy and coffee’ girl to much more. It was fortunate that Soyeon worked there and was mostly responsible for Jessica. “You didn’t have any plans?”

“Hardly, I just work and work, get home and work a bit. TV and cooking. Hyomin and Jiyeon bought me one of those workout balls to keep me busy at home, since I don’t have time to exercise,” Soyeon explained.

“So no gentlemen callers for you?”

“Oh gosh no, are you kidding me? I haven’t been on a date in months, it’s been so long I’ve forgotten if it’s something to be excited about,” Soyeon laughed without pausing from her work.

“I’m sure it’s fun, but it can be overrated too,” Jessica said.

“Oh, that’s right you broke up with, Yuri right? About a month ago? I heard it was hard on you, Hyomin says she’s been helping with Sunny to get you through it.”

“Yeah. Something like that.” Soyeon could tell from the reply that Jessica wasn’t quite willing to talk about it and dropped the subject. They worked quietly away until past the 9 o’clock hour. For their hard work, Soyeon offered they go get drinks and something to eat. Jessica politely accepted. “Thanks for the invite, I had to stay out tonight and I didn’t have any plans on how I would have done it.”

“Stay out?”

“Yeah, Tiffany requested the place to herself for the night, so we all need to sleep somewhere else tonight. I don’t even know when it would be safe to return.”

“Oh so would that mean Sunny will be over tonight then I guess?” Soyeon deduced. Jessica nodded taking another sip of her drink. “Where are you going to spend the night then?”

“I’m gonna get a motel room for the night. I brought clothes to sleep in, I mean honestly I thought we were going to be working much later.”

“Why would you go pay for a place to stay, you’re a student! Your money is better spent elsewhere. I heard you don’t work anymore, I can’t have you doing that. Why don’t you stay at our place too?” Soyeon replied. Jessica made a polite smile and took a larger sip of her drink. “I’m serious, Hyomin wouldn’t mind. It’s not bad, you guys could finish Valentine’s Day with a movie or something even.”

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it,” Jessica responded politely. Soyeon tried using her logic to convince Jessica, but she was firm. “Unnie! No.” Soyeon could tell it was serious for Jessica to speak in Korean, Jessica always naturally spoke English unless otherwise directed while at the office. “I don’t want to be there.”

“Why? Is it something I said or did?”

“It’s not you, I just don’t want to stay there,” Jessica said. Soyeon came back asking for the reason and put on her ‘unnie’ charm to see what was wrong. Jessica ignored Soyeon’s questions and continued to down her drink. Soyeon then asked ‘Is it Sunny or Hyomin?’ Jessica didn’t reply but instead ordered another drink. Soyeon sat back for a moment and began playing through memories and thoughts in her head. Then it all started to come together.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Soyeon asked leaning closer and putting her elbows onto the table.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You didn’t tell me why you left the group. I got moved out but you, you were supposed to debut. Lots of people wonder about it. Everyone did really. I mean you said school and that the lifestyle wasn’t meant for you. You followed Tiffany and Sunny... You won’t stay with me for the night is because of Sunny, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It just don’t want to intrude,” Jessica said coolly, trying to blow off the question.

“Is it because of Sunny, or Hyomin that you won’t come over?” Soyeon asked again.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, please cut it out, you’re making me feel awkward now,” Jessica said calmly, trying her best to remain nonchalant and collected. Soyeon politely asked that Jessica to explain it; she used that sister/motherly tone that bordered-line patronizing and sympathetic. She wanted to hate Soyeon for asking but it wasn’t fair to her; Soyeon had always been supportive of Jessica during their stint at SM. “Maybe you’re right about a thing or two.”

“Which things though?” Soyeon asked, embracing her curiosity and ordered another drink. She tempted Jessica to tell more and it worked. Jessica started to explain a bit more and more. It must have been the drinks, or maybe she just wanted someone she could vent to, or maybe... who cares Jessica just wanted to get off her chest. Little bit by bit Soyeon was becoming more aware of the situation. “So you basically told Yuri, or confirmed with her that you liked Sunny. That was awfully brave of you.”

“Just stupid really. And now she hates me. Sunny and Hyomin spend time with me when they can to try and help me ‘move on’ or ‘recover’ but neither have any idea what’s going on. Hyomin doesn’t know she has everything that I want. I want to tell Sunny, but she’s so happy with Hyomin and I don’t know. It’s so bad that I’ve told you all this, you live with her, you’re her friend and everything. You won’t tell her will you? I’d appreciate it if you didn’t. It would be awkward, well more so than it already is.”

“I won’t say anything. I’m sorry about your difficulties... I almost regret asking, but it’s nice to know what finally happened to you back in Korea. You would have been a star.”

Jessica gave a small laugh. “I’ve been told, you’re not going to scold me too are you now?”

“We’re friends, I know why you left now and I respect it. I just don’t know what to say after that. I’m your friend and I’m also Hyomin’s friend, and I know Sunny too. Someone’s going to get hurt, I just hope you’re ready for it when the time comes.”

“You know damn well I won’t be ready,” Jessica said with a small scoff and downed another drink.

*********

“Are you sure you want to keep  going? You can sub out if you like. Are you okay? Feeling any pain?” Jessica asked. She had dropped down to the fourth team to play with Sunny. It was March now and Sunny had been able to move about a bit and even started to play a bit. Jessica and Sunny were playing doubles together and were down 2-4 already. Jessica had worked her best to carry the two and Sunny was just doing her best but obviously far from perfect. Sunny shook it off; she would fight through this and finish the match. She wanted to make it worth Jessica’s while.  

They pushed through to 4-5 and eventually lost in a tiebreaker. Jessica played exceptionally well. She was disappointed to not be able to win, but happy to have gotten to play with Sunny. Click. She snapped several photos of the doubles team reunited again. It was cute and wondrous but Sunny was physically drained, but she still had enough energy to showcase her aegyo to get water. “I really can’t stand that from you!” Jessica complained, but even knew she missed it at time.  She was slowly returning to form.

The top team with Tiffany and Taeyeon were able to place 3rd overall and earned a trip to represent their school and state at the national tournament which of course called for a celebration. Tiffany had made plans for the party at their place to celebrate not just the trip to nationals but also Sunny’s return to the courts. There were several friends and teammates around, all celebrating. Most didn’t even know what the cause for celebration was for, or why but they didn’t care; a party is a party and sometimes it's nice to just enjoy it. Yuri was among the guests to the party; Jessica and Yuri briefly conversed but then further mingled. Yuri really wanted to speak to someone else, the pretty photographer.

“How are you doing Hyomin?” Yuri asked with a welcoming smile. She just wanted to make brief and polite conversation. It was enough to catch Jessica’s eye. It wasn’t before long Yuri made her way around to talking with Sunny. Yuri was doing her best to be sincere in her conversations, but of course she did make focus of her objective. She smiled and hugged Sunny and shared simple words and let her knew she was glad they were still friends.

“I’m really sorry about what happened, you guys were really cute together, I was rooting for you guys,” Sunny said. The party went by with very little further incident other than Yuri asking Sunny to walk her out which only frustrated Jessica.

The next day on campus, Jessica purposely waited outside of Yuri’s class to confront her. Yuri was speaking with some classmates and noticed Jessica; she excused herself. “You know, stalking me won’t bring us back together,” Yuri said. “How did you get my schedule? You asked huh?”

“I just wanted to talk, nicely. That’s all,” Jessica said walking with Yuri towards one of the food trucks that Yuri liked to go for lunch. Yuri always had scheduled her classes to allow for lunch the same time every day; an hour after ‘normal’ time so that she have it quieter and less crowded. Jessica extended her courtesy and paid for Yuri’s lunch. “What did you say to Sunny? Last night at the party?”

“We can talk as we please. She and I are having dinner tonight.”   

“Why are you going out to dinner with Sunny tonight?” Jessica asked heatedly.

“Is there a reason I can’t? She and I are still friends. We’re not going to be that petty are we Jess?” Yuri replied coolly. She knew Jessica would respond this way; her plan worked.

“Somehow I doubt it, Yuri we’ve been over ‘this’...”

“Just what is ‘this’ you are referring to?” Yuri asked. She laughed a bit, making her next statement. “I told you that I wouldn’t tell her, she should find out the hard way. That is if she ever finds out. “

“I’m sorry about us, I should have never,” Jessica started.

“Would have saved me a lot of trouble,” Yuri said cutting Jessica off. She walked off leaving Jessica. “I have to get ready for tonight, bye.”

*****

After breaking through the awkwardness, dinner that night was quite normal. Yuri asked about Hyomin and how Sunny was going on her recovery. Yuri did her best to avoid the top of her breakup with Jessica, as did Sunny.

“Are you curious to how Jessi’s doing?” Sunny asked, the look on her face clearly told Yuri she regretted asking. Sunny of course wasn’t looking to be rude in anyway, but given the audience maybe it was a bit insensitive. Yuri smiled. Sunny was such a good friend Yuri thought.

“I’ve spoken with her enough to know what’s going on. I guess she told you quite a bit didn’t she? Why we broke up?” Yuri answered. Sunny nodded. “It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just she really hurt me, and to think there was someone else, it’s rough. I know you care about her a lot, and I admire you for it and don’t hold it against you. It must be hard for you, and me even. I’m sure she will be fine even if she and I aren’t, but that shouldn’t affect you and I. We’re still friends of course.”

“Ah yea... I’m sorry that it happened. You don’t know who it is do you?” Sunny asked softly. Yuri shook her head no. “I thought you knew, Jessi wouldn’t tell me.”

“Whoever she is, she’s pretty lucky to get Jessica’s attention. I actually thought you would have known, guess it’s a big secret. Although I heard it’s someone we know,” Yuri teased. Afterwards she quickly changed the subject, hoping Sunny would think on it later. The dinner concluded with a hug in the parking lot. Simple enough and Yuri knew she got Sunny’s wheels moving.

Sunny couldn’t help but think about it, after all who was this girl that was breaking apart her friends Jessica and Yuri? Yuri wanted to know and couldn’t quite understand why Jessica wouldn’t tell her, they kept very few secrets. Maybe she could ask Jessica again, and maybe she could convince her to tell.

“How was dinner? I am going to have to worry about you now? Not changing sides are you?” Jessica asked when Sunny walked through the door. Sunny joked back lightly but excused herself to the shower. She tried to figure the best way to ask Jessica but knew the girl would say no. When Sunny returned from the shower, Jessica was there nonchalantly asking once more, “So did you have fun?”

“Yeah it was nice. She was just being friendly, I hope it’s okay with you. I mean if it bothers you I’ll decline her invitations,” Sunny answered politely. Even Sunny knew she overdid it.

“She’s a big part of our world. It’s hard to take her out just because of something she and I had, or did. Did she say anything?” Jessica replied. She was worried that Yuri might have said something to Sunny.

“She tried to ask me if I knew who the other person was, she said it might be someone I know,” Sunny answered honestly. Jessica paused on her reply. Sunny was a smart girl and could figure things out rather quickly, but the only thing Jessica could count on was that Sunny wouldn’t suspect that it was her. “Of course I didn’t know. She doesn’t seem to either.”

‘What a lie’ Jessica thought but smiled and went along with the game; she didn’t want to give away any hints. Sunny just brushed through some her school book while on the couch but eventually ended up making a chart in her notebook while Hyunah and Jessica watched TV.

Sunny listed all the people that she knew that were in Jessica’s and Yuri’s circle and started to compare. There weren’t too many names she could think off the top of her head. There were tennis players, members of the Korean Students Association, co-workers, and study group people. Sunny even wrote down Hyomin’s name but laughed at the idea. It couldn’t be Hyomin, Jessica nor Yuri have had too much interaction with her but then again there is that ‘loving from afar’ possibility.

During the nightly phone calls with Hyomin, Sunny just couldn’t see Jessica going for Hyomin. It didn’t make sense. Sunny decidedly thought it may have been Soyeon, the unnie they shared during the days. It seemed plausible; Soyeon was someone from the past, they fell out of contact, but now Jessica interns at Soyeon’s place of work. It’s possible but Soyeon never said anything about liking girls. It had to be someone that Jessica had a crush on even longer than Yuri’s crush on Jessica.

“Jess, do you want to hangout tomorrow? Hyomin has a photography thing she’s doing,” Sunny asked. Jessica thought it over and said yes. With all the years she’s known Jessica, Sunny thought she knew Jessica’s ideal type but it turns out Jessica’s ideal type isn’t Wobin or Hyunbin but rather a type of girl. It was the first time it ever crossed Sunny’s mind that she never talk or re-visit with Jessica about the ‘liking girls’ thing.

Fortunately Jessica had a day off from her internship and she was breezing a bit through school, so there were no concerns about being out. Jessica drove them out to dinner, someplace cozy and quiet. Ironically it was one of the places that had gone before, a special place for them. Tiffany had been before but it was a place often visit by Sunny and Jessica; it had been quite a while since they been around.

“We never really got a chance to talk about the whole, being with a girl thing... I’m not sure if it’s something to mention, or if we accept at face-value,” Sunny started, lacking much of her normal confidence.

“I mean what is there to say, I think you know how to handle it with a girl. I mean it’s not hard to figure out how that goes,” Jessica answered.

“Jessi! I’m not talking about the birds and the bees. I mean, being into girls, like... it’s a secret you kept from me, and I guess we all didn’t know about it,” Sunny replied. “How long or when did you know? Korea?”

Jessica wasn’t expecting to ever have this conversation with Sunny or anyone ever for that matter. Jessica was not the type that spoke well on her feet, improvising speeches and presentations was one of her weaker point. “Known what? That I like girls? It’s complicated.”

“You know I love it when you say that,” Sunny smiled.

“Why?”

“Because for you complicated means I’ll enjoy watching you try to explain it,” Sunny laughed. “But seriously, when, how? Are you sure this isn’t just a fling or spur of the moment thing?”

“It’s hard to explain... it’s just when you spend some time with someone..  I mean. I don’t know. I was young, and in a new place, and I didn’t hang out with any boys. I didn’t have many friends at first, and kids can be so mean.”

“You mean at the academy? School?”

“School was okay, it was just like any normal school, but yeah it was during the trainee period that I met someone who really lit a spark in me.”

“How, did it happen?” Sunny asked. “You went to movies with boys, there were dates... I don’t understand.”

“I was just doing things that were expected, there were nice guys, there were cute guys. It was just dates. Dates don’t mean forever so you know. I mean I’ve told you how they all went, that’s nothing new.”

“Your dates were always fun to talk about, we used to go under that bridge and get ice cream and talk about it,” Sunny remembered.

“I never realized that boys in Korea were so fail,” Jessica laughed, remembering the times under the bridge.

“But you have no problems with Korean girls,” Sunny chimed.

“Well it was just one girl. I can’t remember the exact moment it happened, but I was about 16 when I started to understand my feelings more. It was scary at first. I wasn’t sure about it, I just thought I was so comfortable with her and really liked her. I didn’t ever think I’d like like her.”

“Until you did,” Sunny added. Jessica nodded. “So was there a big moment? Did you ever tell her?”

“It was subtle. I didn’t quite knew, I just knew I was happiest when I was with her, or talking to her or just even thinking about her. It was when I was on a date, with Hong and he was the best guy date I ever been on, but I kept comparing him to how she did things. I didn’t even know I was doing it. Until I said it to him, and I was like S.. She would do it like this, or like that. I think that annoyed him. Especially during date number 3,” Jessica said.

“You never told me that part, you sneaky girl,” Sunny added in. “You actually did keep secrets from me, oh you’re slyer than I’d imagine.”

“I like to keep some secrets for myself.”

“What happened next? After you knew?” Sunny asked.

“I tried to deny it. I tried really hard to deny and convince myself otherwise. You know for all the reasons you could imagine. I got selected into the next round of trainees and moved on towards my training and she didn’t. So I saw her less and less than I used to, so that helped. At least I thought it did,” Jessica answered.

“But instead it just made you mess her more right?”

“Yeah, it did. It just didn’t work out, and then when we all graduated high school and you guys were preparing for college, and I was getting into debut preparation. I knew things would change, since at that age you know everything changes. So I tried to confess to her, and let her know how I felt about her,” Jessica said.

“What did she say? She rejected you? Is that why you quit the group? To leave Korea?” Sunny tried to fill in the blanks. Jessica remembered that Sunny liked to solve games and puzzles.

“Yeah, after that. You and Tiffany got accepted into school and said you would go here, I’d decided I wanted to go to. I didn’t want to stick around. I knew she wouldn’t say anything to others, but I didn’t want to make anything awkward for either of us,” Jessica lied.

“I’m sorry that had happened to you, so what happened when you came here?”

“Well here the society is a bit more accepting of this than in Korea, and I’m not a singer or anything so no spotlight. Plenty of distractions as well. First loves aren’t always the last you know,” Jessica continued.

“So there is someone else, who just wasn’t Yuri. What happened with her? Or did anything happen?”

“Nothing really, I just knew I liked someone here, and I tried with Yuri but there were moments,” Jessica replied. “I mean how was it with Hyomin? I always thought you liked guys, and then all the sudden Hyomin. Do you know how shocked I was? I mean Tiffany, was predictable but you were different. You know I’m behind you always; I was just surprised by it. I mean we know the story of you and Hyomin, but you can tell me the behind the scenes right?”

“Well about that,” Sunny laughed. She didn’t think Jessica would turn questions on to her so soon and quickly. “It was just something that happened.”

“To be honest, I didn’t know how to feel about Hyomin at first. She was cute, and nice, but like the thought of liking a girl never hit me. I still don’t know if it has. I’m not sure if I like girls, but I just know I like Hyomin. “

“To me, it seems more than just ‘like’, maybe another L-word,” Jessica said softly but directly.