Chapter 21

The Realization

It has been a long fourteen hours and Lena spent another four hours sitting beside her bed, thinking what had happened during the past hours. Her mind was going around the matters that went on and she was starting to get nervous over what had happened between her and Kris. She needed to digest what Kris had said to her, she needed to sort out her own feelings. She was beginning to feel that she was not worth the sacrifices Kris was about to make.

She knew in her heart that explaining her situation to his parents will be difficult but wasn’t that what they wanted? Kris needed a reason for his parents to back off, Lena was exactly that. Kris’ parents wouldn’t like her so they wouldn’t let them get married. But why did Lena feel extremely sad over those thoughts. Lena started to re evaluate everything that she felt, she needed to understand what she was really feeling and all she could come up was that she needed to let go of her feelings.

Her head was starting to hurt; she was sweating bullets thinking about how much Kris had affected her life. Kris was only here for a short period of time but he had come in to places where Lena would never let people in. Kris had influenced her life more than other people. When realizing how much she felt for Kris, she almost had trouble breathing. It wasn’t just friendly feelings anymore, she finally grasped that thought, and she finally accepted that in her mind.

Lena only had two hours of sleep that morning, when she woke up; she was still on the floor beside her bed. She knew she couldn’t keep on sitting there, she knew she had to stand; she knew she had to be strong, not just for her but for Kris as well. Lena did not want Kris to feel guilty; she didn’t want him to feel accountable over her breakdowns. Lena immediately went to her wash room and freshens herself. Her phone vibrated as soon as she entered her bed room. She looks down towards it and his name on the screen. Lena glanced at her clock, 8.25am.

“Hello?” Lena answers.

“Len?” Lena could hear the sigh of relief Kris released. Kris was clearly glad that Lena was still answering his calls. He half- expected that Lena would ignore his calls.

“Have you eaten?” Kris posed his first question and Lena didn’t know what or how to answer the question.

Hearing as Lena did not answer his question, Kris quickly assume and correctly assume that Lena haven’t had her breakfast yet. “Can I come in with breakfast?” Kris asks, he knew he was taking a risk, he knew he was almost a push over, but he cannot, he doesn’t want them, they can’t drag this for too long, he knew the two of them needed to face the reality. “Please?” He begged.

Lena on the other line couldn’t do anything but closes her eyes, trying to come up with a reason to avoid Kris but all she could think of was the fact that she wanted to see Kris. She really did, her heart was saying that she wanted to see Kris badly for no reason at all. Lena ended up saying something she could have regret but she ignored the feeling, “Okay”

“I’ll be there in 30 minutes, just sit tight, okay?” Kris answered and hung up his phone. Lena immediately went out her room to clear the glass she saw on her coffee table, the glass was a sign that everything that happened last night was real. She walked towards her kitchen and put the glass near the sink, she moved to set her tea maker on. Slowly, she looked towards the lonely glass sitting near her sink. Her mind was trying to sort out the feelings she felt as she stared at the glass.

She was asking herself questions, how she could save the situation she have with Kris, how she could avoid hurting him, a lot of how relating to Kris. Lena gradually washed the glass and dry them before putting it back to its original position. As soon as, she heard the door bell rang and immediately she walked and clicked the button to let Kris in.

Kris walked in with two large brown bags, dressed in white sweater and black jeans. “Is American breakfast okay for you?” He asks as soon as he took off his shoes. Lena nodded as she took the brown bags from Kris. Kris followed Lena to her kitchen. She took two plates from above her cabinet and place it on the island. Kris helped take out the take outs and was about to tell Lena that they could eat from the take out bags when he heard Lena said “I should have made us breakfast”

Kris smiled as soon as he heard that, he stopped Lena from transferring the food into the plates, “As much as I love eating your cooking, I thought it would be best if you didn’t cook this morning. I’m sure you are tired, Len” Kris moved the plates away, “Let’s eat them from the take out, okay? Let’s not waste too much energy over this” Kris brought the two take out to the dining room and his other hand holding out Lena’s hand to guide her to the table.

When Lena said she wanted to get the tea, Kris told her to sit back and that he’ll take care of everything. “Here you go” Kris places the two cup on the table.

“Do you want juice?” Lena asks Kris as soon as he sat down.

Kris shook his head, “It’s okay, Len. You can start eating, please” Kris opened the containers and places a fork on Lena’s hands. Kris waited for Lena to start eating before he started digging in his food.

Kris felt a little guilty to see that Lena was a bit tired; he could see that Lena didn’t have enough sleep from the night before. He could see Lena was trying to digest her food slowly, probably really tired and having little energy to chew and swallow food. When Lena looks up to see him, he immediately puts on a smile on his face. He tried to hide his worries as much as possible.

Kris did a lot of thinking as well last night, when he arrived home. He knew what he wanted to do. He made his decisions; he’s willing to face the consequences. He knows it may escalate to a fight, but in his mind, he thinks that it’s a fight worth fighting for. He knows he’ll be scared at first, but he also knows that it’s time to change everything. He can’t always be scared of his parents. He needs to make sacrifice if he really wanted to be with Lena. He needs to make changes if he wanted to protect Lena.

“Is the food okay for you?” Kris asks to see if Lena was enjoying her food.

“Don’t worry, Yi Fan. I like it.” Lena finally gives him a little smile. Kris nodded; glad and happy that Lena enjoyed the food. When the two finishes their breakfast, they immediately cleaned up and Kris wanted to help throw the trash in the bin. He asked Lena to sit in the living room and he asked if she wanted anything else. Lena however, insisted that she threw the trash and Kris to sit in the living room. Kris refused and Lena ended up following him to the kitchen. When Kris turns around, his hands reached Lena’s shoulders and turned her towards the living room and gave Lena a little push to start.

The living room was filled with silence for a few minutes, Kris not knowing how to start the conversation, Lena not knowing which situation she wanted to deal with first. The silence was then replaced by a ring from a phone. Kris took out and answers his phone without seeing the caller id.

“Hello?” He answers, his expression almost fell as he heard the other line, Kris remained silent for a few, listening to what the other had to say. The only answer he gave was “Let’s postpone that, I need to see you and Ma first, Pa. I have some explanation” He hung up his phone and looked up to Lena who was looking attentively to Kris.

“What did they say?” Lena asks, she knew his father was bringing up their matter to Kris. “Yi Fan?” She asks again when she didn’t receive any reply.

“Remember what I said last night?” Kris asks, “Can you accept me, Len?” He repeats his question from the night before. “If you answer me that, then, I’ll tell you everything.”