three

 

This will not make me panic.
I forced myself to believe. It's not the first time waking up on a different bed though it's the first time I didn't have any idea whose. This is obviously isn't Junmyeon's. I sit up, I laughed inside because I'm still completely dressed, no man lying beside me, and I'm fine except the fact that my head splitting apart, my stomach twisting inside, and I'm thirsty and nauseous at the same time. Judging from the room I'm in, it's luxurious but this is clearly not a hotel room, I just hope I didn't mess up. I get away from the bed, out of the room, and I sensed someone sleeping on the couch. I walked slowly, quietly, cautiously towards him.

And I saw him there sleeping peacefully. Mouth apart, dark hair up to all directions and some over his face, ed shirt, half-ped pants-- Calvin Klein.  A perfect figure, fine, I'll grant him that title. His coat, his socks, all on the floor.

My heart races and I'm terrified but I swear, I'm still far from panicking.
And I'm running. I'm running away from nothing, just I thought I could spare myself if I run now and I'm close to reaching the door--

"Good morning."

I tripped into the two-step stairs and it hurts badly but I can't feel it. What I feel is Kim Jongin's just-woke-up-in-y voice and his stare at me. I composed myself and faced him. He is now sitting on the couch, watching me, and yes, he's smirking.

"Good morning sajangnim."

" 'Sajangnim'? Why don't you just call me like the way you did last night?"

. The fact that I can't recall how I ended up in his place means I messed up pretty badly. "Sorry. I... can't recall."

"Obviously not. You called me an , a bastard, a jerk--"

"I'm really very sorry sajangnim."

. . .

He laughs. "No, I know you're drunk that time. But I'm really amused."

I don't know if this is a good thing but our y CEO finds me amusing.
I blushed furiously and this makes him raise a brow.
Scratch that. 

"Sorry for all the troubles last night and thank you for your very kind hospitality." I said with complete honesty.

"Well, not like we can do anything about it." He rests his back far against the couch.

"Ah, but how did... I end up here?"
He frowned and so I say, "Sorry I tend to forget everything when I’m drunk so…"

"Junmyeon-hyung left you to me but you can’t tell me your address so I brought you here."

Junmyeon?! Oh, yeah, he was with me last night. The hell, he just let this man take me home?

"He was cool with it." Sajangnim added as if hearing my thoughts.

"That sly fox..." Wait 'til I kill him...

"Oh, he said something about you killing him the first thing in the morning."

"Exactly."

His eyes brightens a little, he laughs, stands up from his seat, walks towards me while buttoning his shirt and say, "Not quite. First thing in the morning is eating with me."

He talks big but he doesn't even no how to cook. He can't cook anything at all and so I ended up cooking our breakfast in his stead.

"I still can't understand why would Junmyeon left me with you." I said while eating to ease the awkwardness, at least for my part, if he doesn't find this awkward.

"... No, actually it's me who suggested taking you home." he confessed and I turned up to look at him.

"Why?" Now, I can see Junymeon is enjoying this a lot. He must thought this is something he can look forward in the future just like how he looks forward every week for his favorite drama to air.

"You don't know?"

I swallowed. I don't know.

"I thought you knew. You seem to be close with him... has he been keeping it from you?"

I honestly don't know. What is there to know? All I know is I don't have any freakin' idea what's between these cousins and I seriously find this getting out of hand so I wanted to know a thing or two though it's clear that it'll never turn out to be good.

"What?" I inquired.

"Junmyeon-hyung is a gay." he answered with a complete and perfect grammar with proper stress in each word.

I coughed. No, I'm choking, I'm literally barking, I... , I can't take this.

"Sorry, are you alright?" He stood from his chair, purely worried of me and went towards my side, gently rubbing my back. I'm kinda nudging him because he's not really helping in making me feel comfortable but he still goes running his hand on my back.

I drink a glass of water and cleared my throat and my thoughts. "I'm fine, thanks." my voice saying the otherwise.

He lets go. "I'm not making things up. I'm serious, it's true, he's---"

"I know."

His expression slightly changed and I can't really describe it. He stepped back, "You knew?" That I'm not lying? Or that he's gay? He held the choices back but I knew he wanted me to answer that.

"Both."

"I see. Well, you're hyung's friend. I just got a little frantic back there. Not that I was thinking that hyung will... take advantage of you..."

"..."

He run his fingers through his hair. "You... you're not 'that' right?"

"..."

"Oh."

"I'll take my leave. Thanks again, sajangnim."

I basically dashed towards the door. The thing that I should have done the moment I woke up this morning. I indeed messed up. Impressively.
 

"Start drafting your death wishlist." I hissed on my phone the second my call connected.

The train started running and I place my hand on one of the handrails The old woman sitting across where I'm standing looked up at me and I bowed giving her my most gentle smile that tells I don't really go killing a person--- except this man I'm speaking over the phone.

And all I hear is dumb laughter on the other line.
"You laughing? Are you laughing at me now?"

I hear him silent but I still feel him smiling over the phone.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that?" Junmyeon said on the phone.

"Hell yea! Jeez, he seemed to figured out I’m a gay, thanks to you"

He laughs again that he's almost coughing. I add, "I'm glad you're finding this funny."

"Sorry. Well he doesn't seem to be gossiping a lot. But it would be easier, right? I mean you could seduce him now openly—-"

I hung up than hear his idiotic ideas.

Sajangnim and I… we just don’t live in the same world. And I don’t feel like crossing to his way… not even a thought.

 

Not even my first day of work made me feel this way. Uneasy. As if I'm about to enter a battle ground, it's not like I'm suspecting sajangnim to gossip about my ual orientation but I barely knew him so I can't help but think of him badly.
To my relief, everyone's still the same as before. Sajangnim is indeed tight-lipped. Well, I don't care if he goes telling it to everyone either. It's not like a secret I'm keeping but if I consider the possibility that it might affect my work at some point, then I would choose not to make it public instead. That's my number one rule: not to merge personal matters with work.

"Wow, you're in high spirits today." I heard Donghae-sunbaenim on my side as he puts a folder on my desk.

"Huh?"

"You're humming."

"Oh." Shoot! I'm humming out loud. How embarrassing. And of all the people to notice, why this sunbaenim? I have nothing against Donghae-sunbaenim, just that he's very intimidating.

"Something happened? A woman perhaps?"

No. A man. "Nothing."

What happened is that I'm totally out of the picture. Turns out that I'm just being exaggerated towards sajangnim. The latter doesn't really give a about me at all and it's a very good thing. Now that he figured a mystery about me, he's done with it and with me. I'm not running anywhere into sajangnim anymore nor he's finding me-- not that he did before, and the case is closed---

"Kyungsoo-ssi, sajangnim is asking for you."

Or not.

Kim Jongin's secretary went her way towards my desk, offering to accompany me to him. So much for my happy ending.
 

I raise my spoon but noticed my hand trembling so I dropped it instead. I tilted my head up, inhaled some air to gather a bit of courage to face Kim Jongin, the man sitting across the table with me here in the restaurant next our company building.

"So?" I asked.

Jongin tenses. Jongin. Hahaha. I'm calling him by his name in my mind. "Huh?"

"You wanted to say something right? That's why you called me for lunch." I sound rude. My tone sounded flat but my words are the most polite I can gather.

He smiled, "First, let's talk in banmal."

The reason why I don’t like his eyes is because it’s as if they can read you in every angle… without even looking away… like knowing every move you’re about to make. It’s the eyes that can command you without even saying a word.

"Anything but that."

"Please, your sarcastically polite. I prefer you rude."

"..." So he knew I'm being sarcastic. His response for my silence is a spine-chilling stare. "Don't you stare a lot? Do you really find gays rare or something?"

"Ah. No. Just that, didn't expect you to be…" Just when I thought his concern only extends to that, he immediately dropped the bomb by saying, "Uhmm… you… I’m your type, right?"

For the second time of the day, I choked. OH MY GOD I'M DYING, really. "HUH?! Where in the world did that came from? No!"

Enough with all these ridiculousness.

"You’re completely the opposite," I added.

"Ah. I'm wrong?" he sounded surprised but not offended nor defeated.

"100% wrong and you totally sound confident, jeez."

"Oh. Then what's he like, your type?"

"I like older men. They’re mature. I like one who’s always composed."

Imagine this, I'm talking about my preference in men with my CEO. And I'm being honest. Just imagine 'cuz I can't even.

"That sounds like me."

"No way. And I’m older than you. But why are you asking this? Interested in me?"

"Yeah I guess."

What? What what what? WHAT?!!

"Huh?! 'I guess'? So you're a bi...?"

Is Kim Jongin hitting on me???!!

"... 'guess."

"and a loose type... sorry but I like serious guys."

I can't believe I'm taking this seriously and casually.

"I'm pretty serious than I look."

"Still that won’t work since I take the top and I prefer cute ones. This way, we can only be comrades."

That’s not true. Rather than holding somebody, I like it more being held by somebody… it’s painfully sweet… and makes me feel at ease.

He probably sensed my lie too that he's digging into this when he adds, "I'm convinced you're the bottom because I heard rumors about Junmyeon hyung being a man-eater."

"Don't I give the same impression to you?"

"No. Rather than an eater, you're totally the type to be lavishly eaten." He says it while running his thumb along his lower lip.

I accused my face as a traitor when I got flustered, giving it all away, "Well, you're wrong again."

"Serious?! But wow. That’s just fine. It gets me more excited."

"Geez… what’s gotten into you?"

"You." he answered and he grins. "I’ll make you fall with me."

"Not even a chance." I replied back, doubting myself.

I know exactly how it’ll be hard to fall too hard especially with someone as easy as him. That’s why I’m trying so hard to build up my defenses against this man. Though he might just shake all those up effortlessly, I’ll just build it again and again.
Yet, no matter how hard I try to be cautious, there are still inevitable things that are out of my control. Just like how my instinct tells me to hurry up and run away… but it’s already too late.
 
I have nowhere to escape…
As if a raging beast has come in to my territory and I don’t know what’s ahead. Heedlessly, I began to panic.
 

---xoxo---

so as not to confuse in whose pov in this chapter and in the next chapters, let's make it color-coded ^^

black - kyungsoo

red - kai

thanks a lot for the subs ~

np: orange by 96neko