eleven

I wish there's also this fire alarm set in every hearts. Like when you will know if there is a fire about to ignite. It saves a lot of shock and maybe you won't get caught up. So you won't end up being burned by something funny cute called love.

What a scene. Junmyeon has his three buttons undone. His blonde usually styled clean hair has gone beyond mess by sticking out in every possible direction, his cheeks burn red from taking in a lot of soju. And his eyes swell from crying tears. The all but perfect son of a billionaire born with a silver spoon unattainable untouchable unbelievable Kim Junmyeon is sitting across me in this run-down soju tent. 

And he's down on his ninth glass. He called me out of blue just as I was close to my way home. When I met him at the train station, I figured out he's going to get drunk this night and so I pulled him in this outdoor drinking tent instead of the usual classy everything expensive bar, which is actually his taste.

And he is talking lame. I mean exactly lame jokes, lame puns, lame talks.

"So how do you call a bald ajussi coming out of the bus?" he starts with a creepy smile in his face

"Okay, you've hit around the bush enough. It's about time you tell me now who the hell is it this time?"

And he stopped, pressed his mouth into almost a pout and stares at me frowning. Okay, soon enough he starts crying again. I sigh.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry..."

"I met him last week at the bar, he is very very cute and funny and y."

As usual, Junmyeon's typical turn-on. I don't have anymore to say about this man. He falls in love at sight sight, lust at first sight, attracted at first sight. And as if a curse, falls out of love the very next week. He wants commitment but ironically, falls with someone who avoids to commit. And this happens every. single. time.

I reach out to wipe his tears with my thumb, good, he's calming down. "Then, what happened?"

He sniffs, "I don't know... we were good... we were happy... I thought we were doing fine but then again this morning he told me via text that he'll no longer be seeing me... I'm lost... I don't know..."

Maybe because he felt like you don't love him enough. "Maybe because he can't feel you serious about him."

"I'm crying for him! Getting wasted for him... Do I look like not serious enough?!!"

The point is, you're getting wasted on your own accord and you're crying every time... you cry at watching a movie, you cry when eating spicy noodles, you cry the moment your new talent wins #1 in charts. You cry at everything under the sun -- and I don't tell him that of course. "Maybe... you should take things cool for a while."

"That's what I'm talking about Kyungsoo-yah... things get complicated when you get to love deeply..."

Love. Deeply. In just one week. Really now? Aissh, this guy is driving me nuts. Chanyeol must be right. I shouldn't hang around them so often, I heard idiocy is seriously contagious.

"Yeah..." I mumbled as I pour my glass a fill.

"Kyungsoo-yah... you know I like you very much right?"

"Yeah yeah..."

"That's why I know I don't deserve to be the right lover for you."

Oh. God. This thing again.

"We are not having this talk again Junmyeon."

"We're not. I just want to tell you to take care of your heart..."

"I am."

"I know. But you kind of at guarding it."

"Please tell me what you mean."

"You and Jongin."

"Oh please."

"I know you not longer than two years. It doesn't take a genius to figure that you like him!"

I... what him? I look at Junmyeon as if he's losing his mind. Because he is. I do not like Jongin. What the hell is this guy saying? Okay I admit I want Jongin. I am inevitably attracted to him. That explain's why I had slept with him  for not less than twice. Because he is attractive. What's wrong with being attracted to someone attractive? But no way am I liking him.

And why are we talking about him anyway?!

"I'm sorry to break it to you my friend but you figured it wrong, and you're even a genius..."

In a second my phone rings and both of us turned to look as it flashes sajangnim's name on the screen. Junmyeon grins mischievously and he hand gestures me to go on and take the call, I wanted to throw my phone instead.

"Hello, sajangnim?"

"Oh... wait... it's kinda noisy in the background..." said on the other line.

"I'm currently outside..."

"Outside? Where exactly?"

Junmyeon laughs and cups sides of his mouth to shout, "Jongin-ah~"

No matter how noisy must be, Jongin never missed that, "Who's that?"

"Who?"

"The other guy who shouted my name just now... don't tell me it's hyung?"

"Yeah, Junmyeon is actually here.."

"What is hyung doing there with you? Where are you guys?"

"You know sajangnim, you could really use some sleep. You sound stressed."

"Because---"

"I'm hanging up. Good night."

And I did. I sigh as I put my phone down. Junmyeon eyed me suspiciously,

"Oh hell Kyungsoo you're in denial!"

"Oh hell Junmyeon you're drunk!"

"I am as you are in denial."

"Tsk. Where is Tao when he's needed here?" I murmur.

"Don't drag Tao in here! He's in... where the hell is it again? Taipei... ah, Hong Kong!"

Right. That explains his absence here. That explains Junmyeon's insanity right now. Because if Tao is in Seoul, then Junmyeon would definitely run towards him first and he would recover from his 'broken heart' the next minute Tao holds him or pets him or whatever.

"That ungrateful child, I messaged him before I messaged you, you know!"

"I know."

"He told me that I can't be a child! I just snapped! A child is telling me not to act like one! Oh and you know what? I don't care! I don't need him anyway! And my lover just dumped me this morning too! And I'm forever alone and you're all that I have Kyungsoo-yah..."

"This is really getting old..."

"My ex doesn't want me. Jongin doesn't like me. Tao doesn't need me..."

"Well... I guess that's not exactly happening." I said with a smile that made Junmyeon looked confused. I see Tao's figure getting closer behind him.

"What the--" Junmyeon growls when he felt someone grabbed his arm to his side.

"Let's go hyung." Tao softly said. But he is frowning.

"... Tao-yah..." Junmyeon stammered and his expression starts to look relieved.

"C'mon..." Tao glanced to my side and gave a small nod which I returned.

"Go on, Junmyeon. Tao looks like he just went straight here from the airport."

"Oh." Junmyeon turned to Tao once again, "How come?"

"You called hyung." Tao answered while picking up Junmyeon's phone and wallet on the table and lifting his arms. Tao sounds and looks tired for real but his expression is soft and gentle towards Junmyeon. There isn't a hint of irritation or annoyance in his voice and gaze.

I watch as Junmyeon lands his head on Tao's chest while Tao just sighs. "You know Tao..."

"Ne hyung..."

Tao glanced back at me and I nodded. I watch them as they walk towards Junmyeon's car.

I smile.

It doesn't take a genius to figure a thing or two about them too.

Stupid stupid stupid Junmyeon. Ever since he gave his sight about Jongin and I last night, I can't think straight and I'm beginning to be aware of me. Of Jongin. Of the people around us in case they figure the same thing as Junmyeon too. And most of all---- my heart.

The people in our department muffed their noise and busied themselves at the sight of our CEO walking across the room towards my table. Again. This has been the morning scenario since we came back from visiting sajangnim's parents. He has been more attentive of me. I don't know if I'm just being overly conscious but he is more obvious these days about our closeness. If I'm not really prudent, I might even take it as his way of marking me. That I'm his property and obviously off-limits. But then again this might just be one of his ways to show-off.

"Let's grab a coffee."

See? Shouldn't he be asking first if I had my coffee already?

"Sorry. Already had one. Should I ask Ms. Han to brew a cup of one for you sajangnim?"

He looks a little disappointed and then he pouts. Arghh... both cousins are driving me insane.

I sigh, "Let's... go to the nearest cafe?"

See? That's all it took to make him smile again.

We sat inside the coffee house for a while, both of us silent until it's Jongin so breaks it, "So tell me, what happened last night?"

"What do mean what happened last night?"

"I called you and you were with Junmyeon-hyung."

"So?"

"I know you know what I'm asking. What were you doing last night with Junmyeon-hyung?"

"We were drinking." I shrugged.

"Why? What else?"

Oh great, he's now grilling me.

"Because we both feel like drinking and we were just drinking and before something else could happen Tao went there to fetch Junmyeon. Is my answer satisfying enough sajangnim?"

"Y-yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to pry." he turns away looking as if he feels bad about his moody attitude just this while too. Suddenly, I feel bad about it too, as if I'm the bad guy here.

"It's fine." I reached for his elbows and make him turn to me... to see that he's actually suppressing a triumphant smile.

Arghhh, so that was just an act? 

Oh he got me there.

"So I was thinking to bring you with me to Gangwon for business trip for four days next week."

Business trip. "If you must..."

He smiled like there's more meaning to it and I just sigh.

Apparently, he's not kidding around when he said he'll bring me. Because he just literally did.
We go by Jongin's car and decided to stop by McDonald's drive thru before officially hitting the road. His eyes widen with disbelief when I ordered extra large fries and large size coke. I noticed he ordered just a simple bucket of chicken and orange juice so it's really uncomfortable when he seems to say something but held it in instead.

"What? You want some?"

"No. I'm good." he answered with a little frown.

"Okay, seriously, what is it?!"

"No, nothing really..." he started to drive again and his eyes focused on the road.

"Don't make me guess..." I said as I sip on the drink.

"Ok, this is really nothing much but it bothers me when you seem to have unhealthy choice of snacks."

I almost choke. He sounds so serious, he looks so serious, but he can't be really serious right? I mean that's all he's bothered?

"Dear, we just ordered from the fast food where all they serve are either oily solids or carbonated drinks. You can't really expect me to go trolling the girl who works hard there by ordering something like ginger tea and broiled chicken."

He grins as he turns his head to me, " 'Dear' ?"

Of course that's the only word he heard. Oh man.

"Just an expression."

"Okay."

Still smiling, he focused on the road once more and I let out another sigh. He glances back at me briefly and as he looks back on the road, he stretches out his free hand to wipe the crumbs right next to the corner of my lips.

"T-thanks."

Fine, I'm blushing, alright?! That was totally uncalled for! And totally... argh, I have a feeling that this will be one heck of a business trip.

After hours of travel, we went to the hotel where we'll be staying for few days. I'm sitting on one of the couches on the lobby and watch him walk his way to the reception area. Few more minutes and I saw a shorter guy grabbing his . As in grabbing. his. .

I'm eyes wide open and when I see Jongin laugh the moment he saw the r's face, I'm utterly shocked.

Then the erted guy snakes his hands around Jongin's neck and hugs him.

Something in my stomach knots. I don't have any idea what exactly is making me uncomfortable but one thing's for sure, all this groping act made me very irritated and I can't bear to watch it anymore. He could be Jongin's friend, someone he knows who's overly flirty or touchy, or he could be his another cousin, or... an ex... maybe. But I realize that I don't actually care about his identity. All I care about is Jongin.

Before I knew it, I'm already walking towards their direction and calling Jongin's name like I own it.

---xoxo---

it's cold~ grab something to keep you warm :), a cup of coffee, a heartbreaking novel, or maybe a warm person :) keep safe everyone! >.<~

and it's really late, I always make sure to reply on comments but maybe I'll do it tomorrow instead, promise! and yeah, so much thanks for leaving a comment! :) love love love

np: Song Ji Eun ft. Bang Yong Guk -  (Going Crazy)