“Tiff..?”

I looked up from my drink, watching as my best friend take a seat across me. I attached a smile on my lips although only a tad, but at least I tried.

“What is it with your call and that face?”

Huffing to myself, I began to refuse when Jessica was trying to make me look her in the eye. I could see worry reflected in it. “Tiffany, what’s wrong?”

“I met my ex, just a while ago.” I mumbled, eyes trailed back to the cup before me. “In this place.”

“That jerk?”

I peeked and saw Jessica’s face looking suddenly pissed. “Did he say nasty things to you? Tell me because if he indeed did it, I will hire an assassin for real this time.”

“He wasn’t say anything nasty thankfully but rather, scaring the hell out me.” I tongued inside my cheek and frowned. “Out of nowhere, he was telling me about Taeyeon being a good girl. I didn’t get a chance to ask more because all he did was rumbling nonsense and refusing to elaborate more.”

“Did he… you know, somehow find out about the truth?”

“I assume as much,” I momentary muted before bringing up another possibility. “Either he met Taeyeon or he kinda sorta being jerk, stalking on us or whatever.” 

“Did anything else happen? Aside of meeting that jerk, your day is better right?” Jessica tried to cheer me; she said once that the gloomy aura didn’t suit my supposedly cheerful behavior, so she intended to joke a bit. But knowing that I didn’t even budge, she reached forward to pat my arm. “Okay, it’s really bad then. Care to tell me?”

“I don’t know Jess… I don’t even know what’s going on.” I muttered while hugging the cup with my hands. “Things turn out differently when I could finally grasp my feelings.”

“So, you tell me that you-“ Jessica started to smile as she understood the implying of my words. “Oh my gosh! You finally grew a backbone!”

I smiled a little. “I do, your and Luhan’s words kinda struck my brain quite hardly. In case you forgot, Luhan is a gay man that I met before.” I fumbled with my drink. “But the thing is, something has happened.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve confessed and then got rejected?” Jessica probed with raised eyebrow. “Well done, Tiff.”

“Thank you but no. I wish it were that simple. I mean confessing and stuff.” I uttered back. “I know she cares about me a lot. It always comes naturally, I even thought of it too. So, for me to feel like she could reciprocate it is somehow right. Then out of nowhere, she acts differently towards me. I mean what the hell is going on? We did just fine before, so why now?”

Jessica lunged her head forward. Just how long she could extend that thing? I couldn’t help but being distracted for a bit. Not until she threw me with another question that got me thinking again.

“How different? I mean, how different is she behaving around you?”

“She is so distant. I couldn’t even be near her without feeling awkward for doing almost our talking. She barely answers my question, resulting her to only stare at me with unreadable eyes. Unreadable eyes, Jess. Tell me how long I befriended her again?” I sighed. “But despite her being that, she is ridiculously still caring though she kind of tuning it down.”

“Did you do anything that made her uncomfortable? Well from what I see with my own eyes, Kim Taeyeon won’t change drastically if there isn’t anything that cause her to do so. You didn’t happen to kiss her while she asleep, thinking that she didn’t aware of it and voila the truth was she had caught you red handed?”

My eyes widened as I stared at her with a hue of pink slowly crept on my cheeks. “What the-“ I cleared my throat, trying to clear my name after being accused blatantly. “I’m not okay. I might love her, but no. I will not do such a thing.” 

“Ah… love, I see.” My best friend smugly replied, having fun teasing me. For one I was glad that she could make me smile despite of everything that happened. The reminding of my problem made my mood down and my lips curved down a little— Jessica didn’t fail to notice it.

“Well, how do you guys behave around each other then? 

“I think we kinda act normal. You said so yourself that I could be a bit touchy that I normally do to any of you when it comes to Taeyeon.” I reasoned out, letting go of my drink and resting my hands on the table instead. “More so, ever since we made that deal, we were spending our time together and often acting like a couple as well, when I want to get rid of my company who at first, I thought, could be my potential boyfriend. But that’s pretty much of it. She is still Taeyeon I used to know though, well until now.”

Jessica furrowed her brows, tapping her fingers against the table occasionally. “Do you think it’s possible for her to feel the same way?”

“If being distant means you like that person, then I think she does.” I couldn’t help but being sarcastic. “It’s-yah!”

Out of nowhere, I got a sudden hit by the head from my best friend. I looked at her, flabbergasted. 

“What’s wrong with you?”

Jessica was eyeing me sharply. “You. Can’t you be serious, and pay attention around you more often? I mean hello? Can’t you see this?”

“See what?” I grunted while rubbing my head. “Why can’t you be straightforward then? I told you before, stop beating around the bush. I don’t like any secretive things!” 

Jessica leaned back on her seat, face clearly shown a tired expression. “I thought you somewhat getting smarter. Heck, you even grew backbone but why I have to see this even dumber version of my best friend? Dear God, help me.”

I was trying hard to ignore those insults and wait until Jessica done mourning over whatever it was.

“Listen, Hwang.”

I glanced at her and still muted.

“Were you or were you not live in Korea?”

“What the, what are you trying to say?”

Jessica hissed as she glared at me. “Just answer my question and you will get it soon enough.”

“Tsk. Of course I am. Where do you think huh? North pole?”

A bang on the desk successfully startled me — my eyes grew in shock. “What is it with you?”

“Yes, it exactly where you would end up if you aren’t going to take my words seriously.” Jessica was referring to my remark and aiming her hand at me with no mercy. “I don’t kid anyone here so, listen. This is Korea, Tiff. People around here isn’t exactly open and welcome to you know,” She tilted her hand and raised her eyebrow. “This kind of relationship.”

I was still buying my time to process anything.

“Have you thought about it? She is not as open as you are. It might be hard for her to accept the fact if she indeed has feelings for you. You know her; she would most likely be scared to find out the truth. So, she resulted in avoiding you instead.”   

“But why I mean, she isn’t need to avoid me right?”

Jessica sighed for the umpteenth time. “Right. But like I said before, she probably is scared. Have you seen her in any relationship before? Both in high school and university?”

I shook my head. Taeyeon said so to me last time, when she consoled me after my heartbreak.

“You know her best. You were there in every steps she took. That timid Kim is stick with you all the time. Why don’t you realize it?”

I choked on my throat, as Jessica’s words seemed to make sense while making its way inside my brain.

How I could not even think of that?

“Finally got the hunch?” I dropped my gaze at Jessica who was smirking triumphantly back.   

“Yeah, thanks.”

Instead of answering, Jessica calmly took her breath and reached for my drink— resulting me to throw ‘ off, it’s mine’ look. But she casually drank and placed it back in front of me innocently.

“Give me a break. Talking oh no yelling some sense into you, requires so much self-restrain. I wonder if you were going to a counselor, he or she might need to check their blood pressure afterwards. Because I don’t know if you were in denial or simply being stupid.” She quirked her nose. “But it would be stupider if you were in denial. I mean, why would you be in denial if you have pretty much admitted your truly feelings?”   

“Just stop it, Jess.”

She laughed at me. “Go get your girl okay? I’m tired of seeing you act like this.”

“Thank you, I will manage.”

***

I unlocked the door and strolled in, once I closed it. The light was off as I squinted my eyes to see; maybe Taeyeon was out as well or probably camped inside her room. After Jessica and I, were sharing our thoughts—we both decided to hang out a bit longer than we expected. Actually enjoyed it, it helped me to take my mind of Taeyeon even if it was for a moment. Jessica said she miss spending her time with me who seemed to always busy with Taeyeon. I knew she was joking and at the same time being sarcastic, but I got her point. She was indeed right.

It seemed like I did neglecting everyone, and excessively preoccupied with Taeyeon. Sometimes, I felt like I was being too much, fully realizing that I didn’t have to always stick around her but I just couldn’t help it. Maybe that was the reason why her weird acts had successfully affecting me in a way for suddenly avoiding me. She was always there for me; I might be accustomed with her presence around that, it was a pain for me to be treated like this by her—regardless of her reason.

Sloppily dragging my way inside, I almost screamed at the top of my lungs when suddenly the television in this room switched on. A head, I assumed, through the light coming from the device popped of the cushion.

“Tiffany?”

I recognized that voice. My hands blindly gaping to switch the light on and see her still rubbing her eyes.  

“You,” I noticed her drowsy look and couldn’t help but ask. “-why are you sleeping here?”

“No, it’s okay I just took a nap.” She paused and observed me for a moment who stood still with plastic bag in grip. “Can we talk?”

It seemed like she was expecting my presence.