Cp. 18

“What is it with you?”

Taeyeon changed the channel in front her aimlessly, the spot beside her dipped as Sooyoung placed herself, asking question that she knew by heart was implying to something she didn’t want to deal with, at least for now. “What is it what?”

“You know what I mean Taeng.”

She glanced and focused back to the only thing that hopefully would distract her. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing is wrong with me.” She still casually changed channel after channel, making Sooyoung groan to herself.

“Yes it is, when I found you stand on my doorstep this morning, looking all distracted. Yes it is, when I found you eat my breakfast and claimed it as yours. And yes it is, when I found you are not spending your time with Tiffany right now.” Sooyoung listed as she stared at her friend. “Not to mention, the last time we went out, I could tell that Tiffany clearly didn’t even know that we were going to hang out. You didn’t tell her right?”

Sooyoung continued as she saw Taeyeon slightly fidgeted in place. “At first I didn’t realize it, I was referring to your abuse to push me on the door, but I knew it later on, you wanted me to hurry and shut up because you really did not want her to take along with us, right? 

Taeyeon’s eyes twitched, she couldn’t really fool her friend. She sighed and took a deep breath. “It’s not what you think.”

The tall girl snatched her remote and placed it on the end of table, out of her arm reach. “Then stop doing this.”

She momentary muted and just let the other girl do whatever she please. She didn’t want to talk about it. The point of her being here was to get away from anything that reminded her of that particular person. 

But it seemed like Sooyoung didn’t even aware of that fact.

“And that guy we met before, although I’m not as close you and Tiffany,” She watched Sooyoung open to talk more. “He is Tiffany’s ex-boyfriend right?”

Taeyeon winched at the recalling event, her nickname pretty much gave away her cover. At that night, she was just waiting for Sooyoung who took forever to pick her snack inside that convenient store near their dorms but got so much surprise because she happened to encounter him instead in amidst of her waiting. She didn’t expect to see him at all.

He acted as if he didn’t see her for a long time which was kinda true. The last person he last seen with Tiffany was not her but Taeng, so in a way he was right.

His smile was making her uncomfortable and all she wanted to do was nothing but walk away of that place very soon. She knew it would be rude of her so she reluctantly returned his greeting along with fake smile that making appearance on her face.

It didn’t take much time until he figured that Tiffany might tell her everything. She judged from a hint of sarcasm resonated through his voice as he asked about it. Taeyeon was glad at that time; she used her hoodie and was placing her hands inside her pocket all the time for it had clutched tightly when she gave an answer.

He questioned her tone but she kept shut, preventing herself from wiping that smirk off his face, in hard way. He even told her that from what he saw, she seemed to holding grudge over him as well that yet again true. Why would she not be angry over this guy who did nothing but hurting Tiffany?

The man before her might notice a spark of fire inside her eyes, because he resulted to chuckle instead. Taeyeon was trying with all her might to stay unaffected despite how much she wanted to slap this person for whatever he had done to Tiffany.

She waited until he began to tell her that he wasn’t the only one at fault because Tiffany wasn’t as innocent as she thought. She found it ridiculous. Tiffany was her childhood friend, what kind of thing she didn’t know about her for him to talk like she didn’t know anything about her best friend in the first place. Therefore, she stemmed with “Why would I trust you over my best friend?” along with gritted teeth. Well, that was true because he could be lying throughout his words.

He was clicking his tongue when she finished remarking. Taeyeon guessed that he had pretty much expected it from her. But it didn’t stop him from making his way to provoke her. He said that Tiffany was cheating behind his back though he didn’t sure since when she did such a thing, he paused then smirked again. He remembered that she was too clingy and all, so no wonder if she decided to seek for anyone. Those were words he told her once he had took his momentary pause.

Taeyeon of course, glared at him, but he only grinned in return, much to her annoyance. He even bold enough for telling her the reason of their break up; of why he broke up with her.

She raised her eyebrow at his fire-starting question, knowing exactly that he didn’t even telling the truth. Tiffany was the one who announced their break up; this guy was clearly lying and probably trying to maintain his pride. But Taeyeon was kind enough for not pointing out his lies.

He told her that Tiffany was too childish and not to mention, easily got jealous.

If it were his reasons, then the probably childish one was this man himself. She couldn’t believe his antic, why would he cheat just because his girlfriend easily got jealous over him? Wouldn’t it show how much she loved him to the point that she could be childish at times? Taeyeon’s mind circled around those questions until his voice brought her out of her trance for another annoying statements that night.

“At first well I could accept that but, she acted beyond my limit. Questioning my every move and all. Gzz… look at how childish she could be.” He scowled and Taeyeon didn’t do anything aside of balling her hands at that time. She almost lost it when he remarked that Tiffany was playing holy.

He reasoned out that it had been two years but they didn’t even go anywhere beyond making out and that little fact made him frustrate as well as Taeyeon herself. So, the actual and truthful reason was that.

She knew what the man was implying to and couldn’t help but bail her fists even tighter.

Taeyeon stared at him in disbelief as he continued to shamelessly blabber his reasons, which pretty much setting her in rage when he mockingly said that how childish and naïve she could be for thinking that they would last that long. Hence making him wait until they legally married. Even for now, she didn’t find it worth to break things apart. If he truly loved her, he would wait for her no matter what. Relationship wasn’t all about fulfilling physical needs, it involved with feelings that tied two people together in the first place.

She couldn’t blame Tiffany for being such a er for romantic stories because she had always been that ever since she knew her and if he truly loved her, he would accept her for who she was not who he wanted her to be.

It didn’t stop at that. He scoffed again while telling the fact that she had cheated on him as well. Taeyeon even wondered, why in the hell he couldn’t even feeling ashamed after saying that kind of words towards her. He ran his finger through his blond hair that she wanted to pull badly the moment he muttered “And I still didn’t get any chance to do so. What a luck.” sentences.

Taeyeon at that very time was trying to calm her breathing. She couldn’t just punch him on the face without making him do the same to her later on. But Taeyeon was satisfied enough with her words, and she felt like she deserve at least a pat on her back when she told him that she was glad because he decided to break things up. Just like that night, her lips was starting to form a thin smile when she probably cornered him with, “Because it clearly shows me that she indeed deserves someone way better than this man who at first showers her with his so-called love only to call off anything after being tired of desperately wanting to get inside her pants from time to time.”

It was as if the victory had already gripped inside her clutched hand when her gaze bored through his eyes and she could feel his discomfort rising. She snickered to herself when another remark crossed her mind as she recalled the memorable event.

“Do you realize even if you’re trying to make Tiffany look bad in front of me by telling those words, in the end who looks like the bad guy here? And if you’re desperate enough, you can go to any places to please your raging hormones and I warn you, she isn’t tool to satisfy your need. She is way better than that, you hear me? She loved you and I could testify it, so be thankful if she happens to spare any glances towards you even after anything happened.”  She remembered stating it in a firm tone and smirked afterward, recalling his clenched jaws just after saying, “Am I right, oppa?”

But her steady look crumbled down when Sooyoung suddenly popped behind her while calling her nickname. “Yo- Taeng!”

He might notice it as well and with his quirked brows, he squinted his eyes as if to inspect something. She warily looked back at him, excused herself and quickly bid him goodbye. She dragged Sooyoung all along and disappeared behind people who swarm along the street.

“Taeng? What is it? One time you’re snickering and then you let out sigh like something bad happens to you?”

Taeyeon brought her hands to palm her face. “You are right. He’s Tiffany’s ex-boyfriend.”

“Then why are you two like that? I guess that ex didn’t get along with you?”

She still refused to meet Sooyoung’s eyes so she just stared straight at the television with palmed face. “Yeah. We kinda have issues.”

“That explains his scary look then.” Sooyoung mumbled from her side. “How bad is it?”

“Very.” She shortly answered and decided to peek at Sooyoung. She felt dry and she numerously gulped, she considered on telling her what actually was going on but she was afraid of the outcome.

“I’ve something to tell you, but I’m scared Sooyoung-ah.”

The other girl softly looked at her, silently encouraging her through a pat on her shoulder to just voice out anything that once she held. Taeyeon took a deep breath and exhaled before forcing herself to look back at her in the eyes. “I want to make a confession.”

Sooyoung chuckled slightly. She even reached her hand out to prevent her from talking any further. “My, what with this sudden strange feeling?”

Taeyeon grunted, she didn’t feel like joking at all. “I’m serious here, so please let me finish my words first.”

“I was kidding, sorry.” She watched Sooyoung slowly bring her hands up. “You may continue.”

The shorter girl resumed to compose her look. “Do you know about Taeyong? Tiffany’s current boyfriend”

She got a nod as answer and continued; this time she prepared herself from being snapped by her friend. “I-I’m Taeyong. The person you met before as her boyfriend.”

It took more than a minute before Sooyoung managed to respond albeit confused. “What? Are you kidding me this time?”

Taeyeon shook her head slowly and bit her lips, fearing of what the latter was going to say.

“Did you just practically tell me that you were the guy I met before?”

This time she nodded her head. “It was me all the time,” She examined her expression and spoke again. “I’m sorry for lying.”

“But why? I mean yeah I know you two are pretty close towards each other but this isn’t exactly-well I don’t know. Can you elaborate more? I kinda feel lost here.”

Taeyeon began to tell her about their former plan of spying him as guys when Tiffany felt like he was hiding something that became real because he indeed hiding his affair. Resulting Tiffany for being shocked and discharging everything that once part of their disguise attempt, but she left to maintain the cover intact. Taeyeon even told the girl that Tiffany was planning to get her revenge by making herself look like a cheater as well.

“S-she kissed you?”

Taeyeon sighed and hesitantly nodded her head. “She wanted to get her revenge. So, I just played along. But later on she made me agreeing over a deal.”

“What kind of deal?”

“That I need to help her finding a boyfriend, and should she find out that he isn’t the one she is looking for,” Taeyeon mumbled while scratching her head. “I should appear as her boyfriend and get rid of him.”

“Wow, that sounds complicated and shocking to say the least.” Sooyoung leaned back with hands clasped on stomach. “What you get in return?”

“Ice cream fully stocked that will last me for summer.”

“As expected from you freak.”

Taeyeon smiled a bit when there wasn’t any sign of uneasiness on Sooyoung’s face.

Taeyeon’s smile slowly faltered after being reminded by her words. “I’ve something to tell you again.” She shifted on the cushion as she tried to feel comfortable. “Recently, I have these unsettled and weird feelings. I don’t know ever since when did I even feel like this towards that person.”

“Wait-wait, now you tell me,” Sooyoung had straightened and leaned forward. “Why do I feel like you’re going to confess at me?”

She stared at her in disbelief. She wasn’t sure whether she was being serious or not. “No of course not. Why do you even think like that?” 

Taeyeon watched as Sooyoung breathed in relief. “You may again, continue.”

“Now, please don’t freak out.” She huffed and started to calm herself. “Like I said, I don’t know the exact time but maybe being Taeyong for too long have somehow changed my perspective towards her. I’m confused, Sooyoung-ah.”   

“This her is Tiffany?”

She bobbed her head in weak motion.

“Are you trying to say that you somehow have feelings for her? Like you do you like her in that way? Or maybe, is it love that do you feel for her in that way?”

“I was telling you that I’m confused wasn’t I? How do you think I could distinguish things like that?” Taeyeon groaned as she looked down and rested her line of sight at her feet. “This is . I don’t know what I feel anymore.”

“Taeyeon, she is your best friend.” Sooyoung cautiously started, she felt being examined and wanted nothing but ran away. “And she is a she, you know it right?”

She lifted her head and glared at her. The latter could clearly witness confusion and a slight anger flashed in her eyes.

Sooyoung sensed a trouble.

“Do you think I'm not even aware of that?!” 

“Put yourself in my shoes, it’s not something that I can accept in one night you know." Taeyeon breathed out. “I couldn’t stop thinking about her! About how amazingly she could do this to me and affect me this much! How do you feel about it?!” She fisted her hands and looked away. “I don’t choose to feel this way and I’m sorry if I make you uncomfortable with this crap.”

***

Sooyoung clamped close, seeing her friend on the verge of breaking down for excessively bottling her emotions. Taeyeon always refused to share her thoughts with other people; she preferred to solve it with her own. The exceptional person whom Taeyeon gladly opened up with was none other than Tiffany. But if Tiffany was the center of her problem, would she still be able to do the same?

She understood what her friend was going through. “I’m sorry for making you think that I couldn’t understand you.” She extended her hand and squeezed her arm, trying to comfort her as much as she could. “”You’re right. It isn’t something that you can accept instantly. Just imagine what I probably feel if you were the one confessing at me.”

Sooyoung tried to joke and relieved when she heard Taeyeon’s chuckle. “I understand and keep it inside your mind that I will not think less of you. You’re still my friend. It won’t change anything, seriously.”

“Thank you.” Taeyeon felt a little better, she eased a bit on her place, and leaned on Sooyoung’s shoulder. “Thank you for not finding me weird.”

“I found you weird from the very start. You two is quite odd from the first time I met you in the university. I had discovered a pair of Siamese twins as my friends.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” She answered, glancing at Taeyeon. “I know you certainly need your time, but please, don’t you ever try to push her away like that again. You might hurt her feelings although it isn’t your intention at all.”

“Should I end the deal?”

“Only if you think necessary.” She responded back.

“I should then. It wouldn’t be fair for both of us if this thing is keep on going.”

Hello!
Thank you for still supporting this story!
Have a nice day everyone! ^^