Capsule 9: Brontide and petrichor

[Flashback]

“The silence is so loud, songsaeng-nim

The silence is like a cancer grows..

The low rumble of distant thunder sounds like someone’s soon broken..

I’m broken, songsaeng-nim …

I’m broken and I don’t know why”

[Present]

A week passed, and everything was falling into routine.

Yonghwa and Juhyun would have breakfast together, separated from his aunt who possessed another wing of the mansion and would eat there alone or in any chances with her companies as she always wanted it.

After breakfast, Yonghwa would take Juhyun to his office on workdays or would take her everywhere with him. Somehow he couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving her behind as if that would lead to his failure as a guardian.

Then this morning, the sky is grayish and full with big ugly clouds at the horizon. The rain was threatening to fall in any minutes, and the distant thunders kept rumbling the intimidating sound.

Juhyun looked up to the sky and somehow it made her worried as if some heavy thing was coming on her way and she couldn’t escape the weight. She tried to dismiss the thought but couldn’t shake the feeling. Sometimes her feeling is affected so much by the weather, it’s in her bone.

Yonghwa missed her confused look; he was as busy as always checking his e-mail. He got into the car and the girl followed suit in silence. The care moved forward.

After awhile of silent drive, Yonghwa was done with his electronic correspond, he looked up and caught the sight of Juhyun sat in discomfort as if she wanted to curl up while looked through the window to the sky outside. He didn’t catch the look on her face though.

“Everything okay, Juhyun?” He asked, less than concerned.

Juhyun shuddered a little by the voice but then managed to look back to Yonghwa and smiled.

He barely noticed anything on that adorable face and that smile could disguise the truth better than anything.

“It’s called ‘Brontide’ samchon” She said.

“Brontide?” Yonghwa raised his brows.

“The Greek term for a low rumble of distant thunder, like that” She said and turned silent to let the thunder sound roamed inside.

Yonghwa found it surprising “You know Greek?” He asked.

“Only a few, just what I found relevant to my liking.”

Yonghwa smiled “What else you know?”

“Petrichor…”

“What does that mean?”

She smiled “I’ll tell you later, okay?”

“Why can’t now?”

“Because if you wait, you can smell it”

“So it means the smell then” He concluded and felt like he knew enough now.

“There are more than 1 trillion smells human’s nose can detect, samchon” Juhyun couldn’t help but had to remind him. The man always seemed to be caught up in his disregard.

“Really? You know a lot, are you google?”

She laughed “Aren’t we are in 21^st century now? I just learned that from hospital journal”

“See, how this island girl comes so far from that cave.”

“But we are the story of where we come from, samchon. You can tell everyone where I come from, you know?”

“Keep reminding me that and I may tell Choi Minho your island story since he is the only one who bothered to ask me.”

“But you didn’t tell him” Juhyun said a matters of fact.

“I won’t let him have the satisfaction of hearing anything from me. Sometimes that kid is too nosey. Once he said ‘I keep an eye on you, hwejangnim’ and smiled his charismatic smile like I would fond of that – tsk, I don’t even know what he mean.

He wanted to learn from you, maybe.

“But all he did you know? - was showing up for food like that, didn’t you see he eat tons of food?”

“You eat as much as him.”

Yonghwa looked at Juhyun who put on her still face. Is that for real? He wouldn’t know.

“Does he work there?”

Yonghwa narrowed his eyes to her this time, but then let it slipped “Why? You expect to see him again?”

Juhyun didn’t answer anything.

“No, he doesn’t for now but he sure will. I hear he’s doing well with architecture in college. But if he decides to be just rich spoiled jerk, he sure can, as well.”

“He seemed to be a good listener.” Juhyun uttered. “You know the one who can keep your secrets very well.”

Yonghwa looked at her carefully “Is that has anything to do with his charisma?”

Juhyun observed his expression; she didn’t know what the man got of this conversation and had no idea why it ended up with Choi Minho whom she barely knew but she just said what she saw over the lunch time last week.

After a moment, Juhyun shifted her gaze back to the window, the little raindrops was pouring down now.

Soon the rain turned heavy. And when they arrived at the J-group sky-high the chauffer asked to get the car inside the building, Yonghwa couldn’t wait to get out, so he asked for dropping off first thing as always. He turned to prepare Juhyun for a short running in the rain.

When Juhyun opened the car door, Yonghwa got off and rushed to her side while took off his suit to cover the girl.

“Ready?” He asked before Juhyun would confront with the raindrops, she nodded. “Good, then take off. Now!” He signaled

And then they ran to the main gate, close together – her shoulder slightly touched his chest, his hands were holding the suit and set it out for her while the rain was pouring relentlessly.

…while the sky was roaring above.

…………………………………………..

“…I don’t know if it was a good idea to risk you catch a cold, but at least I have an excuse not to wear my outer suit today” Yonghwa said jokingly while hanged his wet suit on the chair in his office.

“It’s okay, I won’t catch a cold easily, samchon. I only eat healthy food like onion, it helps with flu. And I’m taking vitamin pills everyday” Juhyun justified while watched the man folding his long sleeves – his back faced her, his shoulders looked wide, his shirt was white and it’s pretty damn, she almost saw through the white fabric. It made her curious somehow.

“Kurea? You sure are the strictly type on your healthy consumption” He said amusedly, suddenly felt the gaze on his back. He turned to find the girl looking at him curiously. And then she shifted her gaze to hold his. He felt lost somehow.

“You should do it, too.” She suggested. “You know I mean you should eat more healthy food.”

Yonghwa couldn’t care less on that healthy food “Your hair is wet. Let’s get you dry. Come here.” He called and took out his handkerchief.

Juhyun frowned with his reaction but followed his order, she stepped close to the man and he reached out to dry her hair. “Don’t mess it, Juseyoh” She begged.

The way she said please, it caught him off guard. He smiled and did the opposite thing by ruffling her hair and then Juhyun would whine out.

“Ahhhh wae keuraeee, samchone?” She cried.

“Serve you right. No one has ever nagged me as much as you do in this short period of time.”

“Because when people nagged at you, you tried to stop them, you shut them out.” Juhyun said innocently “Soon you might shut me out, too.”

Yonghwa became silent. How can she look through him? How can she say like she knew him well?  Was she right, after all?

No…of course, she was wrong.

“Stop doing mind reading, young miss, you won’t get any far” He said in adult warning kid tone.

“I’m not doing mind reading, samchon. It’s just what I see and I just try to watch out for you. Isn’t that what people do? We watch out for each other.”

“Then I say thank you.” He said but Juhyun knew he didn’t mean it or he didn’t want what she offered.

Juhyun looked him dreadfully.

“Now let’s focus on how to fix your hair.” He fixed his gaze on her ruffled hair.

Her hair was fine, but her smile was getting weak with heavy rain.

They said rain could wash away your pain if you let it…

But sometimes rain just makes everything painful.

…………………………………

Late in that morning, Yonghwa have urgent meeting to go outside.

He asked Jonghyun to accompany Juhyun on lunch since he didn’t know when he would return.

After lunch, Jonghyun went on his schedule and Juhyun was alone in president’s office.

She didn’t feel like reading but staring out the glass wall. The downpour seemed to cease by middle of afternoon, left only the drizzle sparsely.

Keep herself locked in the room like this made her depressed, Juhyun decided to go out for walk. Since she didn’t need to ask for allowance or it’s because there was no one to ask. But then she realized she shouldn’t walk around the workplace, so she thought of walking in the park nearby and she left the note in case someone comes looking for her..Just in case.

Juhyun walked out of the building when the last drop of rain disappeared. The sky was slowly open up but everything still reminded her of the past rain.

The smell of earth after rain hit her first thing. She heard people said there were hails fallen, too. And the scene of tree branches scattered on the ground told some story.

She felt gloomy, it must be the heavy rain, the thunder, the smell, or something else…but her mind was preoccupied with everything and nothing - she kept walking.

She kept thinking what she did today, yesterday, the day before yesterday, and before that. She didn’t know if she did something wrong or everything was still just fine. Suddenly she seemed so much dwell on the past.

She felt there was something wrong, something’s always wrong.

She kept thinking what was that so wrong.

She stopped thinking, there was this unsettled feeling rose up in her chest and it didn’t stop.

She felt insecure. She needed someone she trusted, some warm place to curl up - something delusive, indefinable, and opposite of loneliness. Something that wasn’t quite love and not quit community, something she didn’t have with her now.

If heavy rain weighed you down, then drizzling rain could only make it worse.

It made her sad, so sad. It reminded her of losing everything…every single thing.

And then she cried.

She didn’t want to cry but the tears wouldn’t stop coming out.

Rain has never been this worse, it couldn’t be this worse – it was just rain…

…and no one, no one here…and alone, so alone out here…and so she let out the sound of crying and struggling to hold herself together.

No, she wouldn’t allow herself to break anymore…she couldn’t be broken again, it was too much.

She thought she would be okay out here, she thought she would do just fine but look at her now…

What should she do? She didn’t want to be weak; she just wanted to be strong wherever she goes. She wanted to make everyone proud – who?

Who would have that honor to be proud of her? Who…?

Before she realized it, Juhyun’s already in the payphone boot – picking up the receiver. She had some changes left from lunch and she dialed the hospital number. She knew it by heart.

Someone pick up the call, it’s nurse Kwon. Juhyun started to cry harder.

“…It’s me, nurse Kwon” Juhyun uttered with tears.

(Me? Who?)

“It rained, nure Kwon, heavily rained and I don’t feel well. I need to go back there, I won’t make it here, please..please pick me up” She begged.

(Juhyun? Is that you?) The nurse seemed to recognize the voice now.

“Please.. I don’t feel well here, nurse Kwon. I don’t know anyone. I don’t trust them”

(Juhyun calm down sweetie.You are freaking out. Where is Yonghwa-ssi?)

“I don’t know. He… he doesn’t like me anymore. I have the feeling he would hate me now, nurse Kwon, ottoke?”

(He doesn’t hate you, Juhyun, and he won’t. No one hates you)

“…yes, harabeoji hates me and omma hated me, too. Appa left me and Junhyung samchon left me.”

(Is it because of rain, Juhyun? Your mood is unstable when it rains.)

“Maybe, but it doesn’t matter, I just don’t think I can do it on my own anymore”

(You are not on your own, Juhyun. You have Yonghwa-ssi, he is your guardian. And you still have us here, we’re always watching over you, you’ll be fine out there.)

The phone would cut off soon, Juhyun kept re-filled the changes until she had none left.

Until just few second left and the phone let out the threatening sound to cut off.

“No.. no! Please, Nurse Kwon I miss you, I miss everyone there. I need to go back”

(I worried about you now, kid. You have your place now. You need to trust him more, Juhyun. Give him a chance. Give yourself a --)

And then the phone cut off, Juhyun stood alarmed in silence. Her eyes were wet with tears.

Somehow she felt guilty for making the nurse concerned; she wiped her eyes with the back of her palm until it dried and then collapsed to sit on her heel, her hands around her knees – she still wanted to cry.

She held back the tears, closed her eyes and managed to count to ten.

One..

No one hates you.

Two..

You are not on your own, Juhyun.

Three..

We’re always watching over you.

Four..

You’ll be fine out there.

Five..

You have your place now.

Six..

You need to trust him more, Juhyun.

Seven..

Give him a chance.

Eight..

Give yourself a— a what..?

“What are you doing here, Juhyun?” The man voice asked from a little above her spot.

Juhyun opened her eyes, looked up and saw Yonghwa with his calm face – he looked a bit pale and a bit alarmed.

His eyes though, were given him away – the way they seemed to drown in the sea of fear, what fear…? “How long have you been here?” He asked with calm voice.

Juhyun rose to her feet, she tried to speak something but her voice gave her in.

“I found your note and I absolutely had no idea what kind of threats would have been happening to you and that how I still call myself your guardian.” Yonghwa kept his gaze fixed on her. His eyes were back to normal but his tone was getting heavier. “Alright, you are not a little kid, but somehow you don’t know how everything outside functions. You are too naïve for your own sake.”

That moment Juhyun found her voice, so she asked in sudden “Can you smell it, samchon?”

Yonghwa were the one who speechless now. Smell what..?

“The smell of earth after rain, it’s called ‘Petrichor’. The word is constructed from Greek, petra means stone or rock and ichor means blood, the fluid that flows in the veins of the Gods in Greek mythology – so it literally means blood of rock.”

Yonghwa listened to her words. It came soothing somehow, no mattered what she was talking about – blood, stone, smell, rain, or pain, just keep them flow – he would say.

“Can you smell it?” She asked again.

He thought he smelled it, always smelled every time after rain though he’d never quite cared. But now it seemed like something that was capable of permanently sticking with his memory forever.

“Can you smell it, samchone?” She determined to ask until she got the answer.

“Of course, I smell it” Yonghwa said, somehow he wanted to smile but manage to keep the stern face.

“How is it smell?” She kept asking.

“Like the soil and the air and the tree and the rain – I don’t know but it’s unique”

She smiled to her liking “You are right, it’s unique. It’s petrichor.”

Suddenly her glooming was gone, her sadness and anxiety, too – they’re all gone.

“Can you hear it?” She continued asking.

“Hear what?”

“The sound of second chance” She said.

“How does that go? How’s the sound of second chance” Yonghwa asked with so much surprise.

“I don’t know samchon. But I think I hear it.” And then she smiled sweetly to herself.

.

.

.

.

The smell after rain,

The feelings after crying,

The sound of second chance…

Give him a chance…

Give yourself a second chance, and another, and another…

You’ll do be fine out there…

We’re watching over you…

“Brontide and Petrichor”

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I decided it's enough for 3 chapters updated

Please look forward to next chapter

And dear my old readers from back home, this chapter is a surprise for you.

I think the story will be altered a lot from my original version (started from this chapter). Where is the fun in keeping things the same, right?

HA! You know me. I won't let you have a satisfaction of KNOWING IT ALL.

Or I will let you know, maybe. LOL

(That's the whole point of writing and reading stories, right?)

Please wait and see. (And decide it for yourself if it worth it)

Comments will be appreciated.

Yours truly

YS FOREVER