Warning

1. My English !

2 I know a little about stuff I write (Mental illness, business circle, lawsuit) But this is fan fiction, so it won't that bad, right?

3. I don't try to corrupt you mind, feel free to take anything from here.

4. ENJOY

-------------------------------------------------

Capsule 1: I wonder, how

Acknowledge…

Many of us have experienced some kind of bad experiences from childhood. I know all of us want to look back at our childhood and feel utmost nostalgia, wishing to return to that carefree time. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for some, as your memories may be buried with deep nightmares and pain.... 

Perhaps you’ve had to deal with grief or instability. Perhaps you suffered abuse, whether it’s mentally, psychically or psychically. Perhaps you had very negative experiences at school and constantly got bullied. Any of that may plague a dark hole in your heart and not allow you to lead a happy life you could be living now.... 

From www.divineglowinghealth.com/dont-let-bad-childhood-memories-ruin-your-life/ © Divine Glowing Health

 “Sonsaeng-nim, I wonder, how does the world outside look like?” ask, the sweet voice

“Why ask?”                 

“Because it’s gone, sonsaeng-nim..I’ve forgotten almost everything about the outside”

No reply came from an old doctor until it seems like the girl got lost in her deep deep thought.

“If it goes like this, how can I get back? How can I face the world outside? Can I, Sonseang-nim?”

“Yes, you can. Juhyun, listen to me carefully. No matter at the inside or the outside of this place, there is no difference. You are doing fine no matter where you are.”

“..No I won’t...I won’t. I…I’m sick, sonseang-nim. I’m a psycho and I’m different from those people at the outside”

“No such that way. Those people at the outside also, everybody feels sick but they know how to cover it properly under their masks on. But you, Juhyun, you never put the mask on and you were hurt so badly that got you sick, and then you screamed. But now you recover and everything is fine. See, you will get back to that peculiar place just in case to be strong and live your life as normally as those. You get it, huh?”

“Can I just stay here, sonseang-nim. I don’t want to go..I don’t want…to...to be hurt ever again”

“If you choose to stay here forever that means you can only hide. Listen, Juhyun, you will get back and stand strong on your place, stand for your human rights, for your meaningful voice because you have your place. It’s yours. People have some places they belong and the workloads they must bear.”

“It sounds tough…just hear that make me scared. I must…I must screw everything up”

“It’s like the sand castle, Juhyun. It never exists but people build it up from the grains of sand, no long it may breakdown and how many times we build it all over again, whatever you call it- it’s just the grains of sand. Just the small amount in those uncountable grains of sand”

“I am a grain of sand, right, sonseang-nim?”

“Sort of… We all seem like the grains of sand that were swept away by the waves, blown by the wind, bathed by the sunlight, and washed over by the rain just to remain and remind anyone else about the beach and what the sand did there.”

…and what the sand did though

J-group sky-high building at the central Seoul, South Korea

“Hwejang-nim, Jonghyun-ssi is here at your room, sir” the sweet voice from the 28 year-old lady as his secretary said to her boss after the intense board meeting finished awhile ago, and then ladies, gentle men, those old senior executive managing directors went on their ways.

A 33 year-old man with his high perfect toned body in the blue tailored suit, but his handsome face looks like he has just passed his 28th birthday yesterday; he turned to give a word to his secretary before walked back to his office room.

The most luxury exclusive room preserved for the most important person in this sky-high building was his destination. Just as you guess, the president was his position in the business of immovable property including land, houses, and such buildings around South Korea under the name J group Corporations. No doubt how rich this man is.

And his name is Jung YongHwa.

Just last year, he was promoted to take over this position after his aunt’s resignation. He was only one heir after all but no one could ever doubt his ability and his dedication to his job. He was one of those workaholic and well managed people. And with such angelic face with kind manner and all of his, people said perfection existed in the form of Jung Yonghwa.

But few people know how far he was from perfection. He was the blank, the empty soul, I could say.

Yonghwa took off his suit and placed it on his left arm. He loosed his necktie and ed the buttons on his long-sleeves. When he stepped inside the room, he saw his best friend sitting on his chair and spun it round and round.

“Alright, what we got here. Someone dares to sit on my seat” He jokingly said, while throw his suit to the couch.

“Yes, I dare. President’s chair is so comfortable and the view up here in nice indeed” Jonghyun turned his face, said with dimples on his cheeks.

“Then how about take over the president position. If you want I’ll give it to you now” Yonghwa said calmly but no clue of lie.

“Nope! Thanks, I like my job” Jonghyun said when stood up and walked back to the luxury couch, his supposed to be seat.

Yonghwa laid his weight on side of the desk, while busy folding his long-sleeve over his elbows “And how’s your job the one I asked for help”

“Oh sir, don’t say “help”. It seems to me like I’m so powerful that the great Jung Yonghwa needs my hand. In fact, I do my job. I got my salary, right? Hwejang-nimmmmmm” Jonghyun said with his sweet fake voice to imitate someone…specific someone in his mind while he started looking at his folders on coach table.

“Yah! Stop calling me with that creepy tone! This jerk!” Yonghwa shouted exaggeratedly.

“Creepy tone, huh? Hwejang-nimmmmmmmm” the prankster didn’t want to stop.

“If you don’t stop it by now, I’ll get your brain damaged with this. I’m serious” Yonghwa grabbed the nearest thing he could reach. And it happened to be a heavy jade for piling up the papers.

“What! Yah! You can’t throw it on me! Sure my head will be damaged! I can sue you in assault case.” Panicked Jonghyun said in half warning half kidding tone.

“If you sue me, how can I win the case, attorney Lee” Yonghwa then put down the thing in his hand.

“See, I’m just joking on you a bit and you take it seriously. Why? I called you not as sweetly as your secretary did, huh? I’m aware the way she looks at you like she wants to fulfill all your command – just so you know the very very sinful command”

“Stop it! Tsk..how are you aware that? It’s nonsense. At here I work, I don’t have time to do such a thing as you thought. How this ert became the head attorney in law division! tsk” said, the calm faced Yonghwa a bit annoyingly.

“By took over my uncle’s place when the senior attorneys just let me in. It may about time when your previous head attorney or my uncle took a break because the health problem and maybe by the president’s influence added in. Everybody knows I’m Jung Yonghwa, the president of J-group’s best friend. No doubt I see what the president doesn’t see because he is too busy on his own. Or well…who knows what happen behind the lock door – not even me know that. hahaha” Jonghyun never failed to tease his friend at the end.

This time, Yonghwa didn’t want to argue with his best friend anymore, but his serious look got Jonghyun to the end line of fun.

Jonghyun raised his hands in surrender “Okay, okay I stop now. And let’s get to our subject – the thing you asked me for help” He stressed at the word ‘help’ to remind himself this is not the normal case, or it’s absolutely not!

Not for him, not for Yonghwa and not for the girl.

“So what you got?” asked, Yonghwa, stayed calm as always.

“Before that, let me ask you one question – Are you serious with this?” suddenly Jonghyun turned to his serious side (well…he also has it).

“I am. I don’t do it for fun. And you’re the one told me that I’m no fun after all” said, Yonghwa in the matter of fact.

“Right, you are no fun anymore but friend, this is about the great responsibility you will take. Look at you - you’re sort of single, you have no wife, no children and then you want to foster a girl!”

“I will say in one last time I am very serious and I know what I am doing” said, Yonghwa while looked at the outside view through the glass wall of his room.

.

.

.

.

Seonhwa mental hospital at Yangpyeong county, Gyeonggi province, South Korea

Yonghwa came to this hospital following his attorney’s suggestion.

“…first, she has the right to make her decision. You can’t win the case if she makes decision against you because you are not her relatives at all. I was there few times but I can’t do that for you. It’s better to see her in person and talk to her by yourself.”

Jonghyun’s voice said in his mind.

..Against me? Why she need to do that. She’d love to get out, would she? Yonghwa thought.

He told the chauffeur to get inside the building and see what he need to do, then he would follow behind after check out the hospital park real quick.

It always comes to him, when he went to new place. He needed to see if the design of the building together with the park, or garden, or grass field looked decent or else. It was about his job and became his habit; even now he was the president who just worked on the endless amount of papers and meeting with people.

After took off the car, Yonghwa looked around and breathe such a nice air because there are many trees around. It looked so calm and natural.

Entirely, this place looked pleasant, but maybe not everyone pleasantly lived here, he thought.

..He turned his face; suddenly could only stand still while looked at the empty place under a big tree on the far side of the field.

..There was no one there, he just couldn’t help but stared. It seemed to him like somebody would show out from behind that tree.

Finally Yonghwa dismissed it and pulled his sight back just only to meet a gaze from a pair of big eyes that innocently looked at him, for, who knew how long, from one meter afar. How come he didn’t notice someone came?

The owner of those eyes was a girl with long straight black hair; her small face with little chubby cheeks, a cute nose, and pink pretty lips, the pair of long eyebrows and yes a pair of endlessly sparkled dark browned eyes, arranged on her face neatly and turned out to be nice to the eyes without any makeup. Her fair skin was milky white on the uncovered place. Even she dressed in no fancy pink patient uniform; she looked like a beautiful painting.

In a moment she gave her sweet smile to him, Yonghwa felt as if there are cool vapors or something split in the air around him. It maybe the stream from the fountain not so far or what else, he didn’t have a clue. But the thing he won’t nail it for the rest of his life is what the girl asked next.

“..I wonder, sir, how does the word outside look like? I think you’re from there, so you might know…Because It’s long gone from my memory.” the girl asked with her natural sweet voice.

In his head was as blank as he saw only the entire white color filled up his brain.

“It looks like a messy place, does it? Or it is this inside that’s so messy?” She said while grabbed a handful of her shirt on her left chest, she meant inside her heart?

He could only look at her, but still couldn’t find any single word to speak.

“Perhaps it’s full of painful things, that why I ran away to hide inside this place. But now they will let me go and I’m scared” said, the girl then her collapsed to sit on her heels and wrapped her arms tight around her knees. She looked so scared and so fragile.

Yonghwa felt as if he wanted to touch her, so he reached out his hand but then..

“Juhyun-ah! Here you are” the voice came from a nurse before his hand could touch her.

Yonghwa pulled his hand back at the same time when the nurse rushed close.

“What’s going on, sir? She didn’t do anything bad to you, did she?” asked, the nurse to Yonghwa.

“No…No she didn’t” Yonghwa replied, tried to hide his puzzled face.

“I felt relieved then. Now I should take her inside.” the nurse bent down to the girl’s hair “Juhyun-ah, seems like your relatives call on. Get up now, will you?”

“…I have no relatives, unnie. I have none” The girl looked up at the nurse “At least I didn’t have for awhile”

“But now you got some. Get up, go see there. You will be out from here soon. It is good, right?..”

The voice from the nurse faded away when she took the girl by the hand and they both walked away.

Yonghwa could only look at them disappeared in the building.

“JuHyun..? Seo JuHyun?” Yonghwa doubted this to himself.

Suddenly his phone rang. He took it out from his suit pocket and looked at the screen. The emergency line called, he picked it up.

It seemed like he needed to rush back to his office in Seoul as soon as possible, to get it clear – by now. He needed to fix the matter by himself.

After finished the call, he called the chauffer to cancel the meeting with his soon to be fostered girl and he will make it up later.

But in fact, he already met her… did he?

On the way back to Seoul, Yonghwa thought about the conversations with Jonghyun. And it’s about her.

[Flashback]

“I will say in one last time I am very serious and I know what I am doing”

“No! You can’t be serious, friend. This is not normal and the girl you want to foster is insa- I mean she is a mentally ill! Are you aware of that?”

“I heard she perfectly recover now” said, Yonghwa while his eyes fixed on the outside view. At first, he had his man found out on her whereabouts and her condition.

“Perfectly recover and what? Cannot relapse? This mental illness thingy is not so predictable, right? Recover but then relapse, I heard it happened all the time. Look! I don’t mean to play evil but I heard that girl, she almost killed someone before she was sent to hospital”

Yonghwa pulled his sight back to look at his friend “So what?”

“So what! So what!? Or I have to wait until she gets nut, until she grabs a knife to cut your throat open, then you will understand what I’m trying to tell you”

“I understand what you’re trying to tell, I don’t concern about that though. Thanks for your concern but a little more and I will think you care for me more than JUST friend” Yonghwa said knowingly he got to the line that Jonghyun won’t dare to come across.

“…Yah!..y..you!” Jonghyun turned speechless.

“Just tell me what the deal to have her under my fostering legally and then I can take her out from that place, tell me, attorney Lee” said, Yonghwa in the business tone.

At this point, Jonghyun knew very well there was nothing else he could do except to go along with his boss’s decision “It’s a bit more complicated than normal case because if you win in the court and have the right to foster her, you will become her guardian” informed, Jonghyun. Suddenly he looked so composed (You may know this is when he works. No joke)

“The guardian sounds nice, like the guardian in shining armor, huh?”  Yonghwa said with joking tone now

Attorney Lee ignored his boss and stayed composed “And you have to assist her in the exercise of self-determination. But I need to check on her medicine folder first in case that she merely experiences difficulties in appreciating the implication of decision, then you might be the one make decision for her when she do transaction on law even she became her legal age already and to this point…I’m wondering, mr. Jung”

“About what?” Yonghwa asked calmly.

“Now she is 20 years old that means she is not juvenile anymore but it hit me hard now. Will you answers my question honestly?” Jonghyun was back to concerned tone

“Sure! My pleasure” Yonghwa replied with small smile.

“Have you ever thought about.. I mean..in case you are…I don’t know if you..” Jonghyun became tongue-tied.

“I don’t know if you don’t say it straightforward. I’m your friend not a mind reader” Yonghwa cut out.

“Well.. yes you are my best friend but I don’t even know your personal life. I don’t know how your deal with your arousement and I guess I don’t want to know. BUT it won’t do me good if you are kind of those middle aged men admiring the girl who is younger some 10 or 15 years.” said, Jonghyun couldn’t look Yonghwa in the eyes. He was aware that his rich friend has so much private life.

Yonghwa though looked at his friend and felt somehow annoyed…just annoyed. He always thought that Jonghyun knows him well and should have no doubt – not like this on THIS topic.

“Or if you are the masochist, or you like sadistic or else, it’s possible that you may tread her as a toy-“

“Is it even possible? How’s come I’m a masochist in your eyes, Lee Jonghyun? Don’t you know me in those years we have been such good friends?” Yonghwa raised his voice a bit while have his arms crossed on his chest.

“Easy on me please, I said that just to ensure. You know I’m an attorney I need to take things firmly not just in mind trust. If you say so you won’t do such things I’ll be relieved”

“You have my words, there are no such those things.” confirmed, Yonghwa with his serious face.

“But honestly, friend, this still doesn’t make sense to me. You told me you know her long time ago, but not in person. She is your acquaintance’s niece, not your relatives at all. So this has no string attachment after all, huh?”

“Care to know?” asked, Yonghwa

Jonghyun just nodded.

“I only met her 4 years ago and had just one glance on her miserable face before she disappeared because it’s her uncle’s funeral that she couldn’t stand to see.” said, Yonghwa a bit angrily to Jonghyun.

“And you still have no clue what happened after that, how come she had mental illness or why she was left alone, completely neglected at the hospital”

“That doesn’t matter to me, after this is matter. I’ll take a good care of her. Am I making it firmly enough?”

“Enough” accepted, Jonghyun with no other choices.

But still, for Jonghyun, it doesn’t make sense and there are so many puzzles between his friend and that girl such as why now, why after 4 years passed by he suddenly cared about her whereabouts and found out that she was left alone, completely neglected by her relatives at the private mental hospital in the remote area.

About the girl, she has nowhere to go even she (so-called) perfectly recover from her illness for 2 years. And as long as someone pays for her expensive medical fee, she can be there.

And it seems that particular someone just wanted her to be there perhaps forever.

Jonghyun wondered what happened on her side and he really wondered more for his friend’s side. And what will follow up after this.

This is not normal, or it just doesn’t normally happen in a 30s years of life though.

[End of flashback]

[Present]

Yonghwa still had no such those thought (that Jonghyun over thought) and for him, there is no such a romantic way as a lover for that girl. (Writer’s note: Not now, not yet hahaha XD)

What bothered in his thought now is her voice

“..I wonder, sir, how does the world outside look like? I think you’re from there, so you might know…Because it’s long gone from my memory.”

To be exact, it’s her question.

“..I wonder, sir, how does the word outside look like?”

I wonder, how

A/N

So what's about the 1st chapter, tell me Juseyoh (>/l\<) *see, I'm begging*

meet me on twitter @AUGcodon

Have a good day!