Capsule 16: Where do I go? (I miss you)

 ---- From The island of the blue dolphins book.

[Flashback]

“It’s was the feeling when you ask yourself ‘Where do I go?’”

“What is that feeling then?”

“I wouldn’t know”

“That’s okay”

“Or I know…”

“…”

“It’s loneliness”

“Oh dear…”

“It made me miss them more than I could bear.”

[Present]

“The island of Phuket has long been misunderstood. Firstly, the ‘h’ is silent. And secondly, Phuket doesn’t feel like an island at all. It’s so huge (49km long, the biggest in Thailand) that you rarely feel surrounded by water, which is probably why Ko (‘island’) was dropped from its name.”

Yonghwa looked up from his phone he had been reading this article about Phuket on ‘The lonely planet’ site – the site for traveling around the world. He glanced outside the rearview window of the car that was bringing him to the most luxurious hotel on island.

He arrived at Phuket this morning. His plan was to close the deal and sign contract in a day since the discussion had reached an agreement beforehand, and then he could go back to Korea – that would be enough for one day trip.

But then his business partner was on something emergent and couldn’t make it in a day – they agreed to postpone the deal until the end of week. That meant Yonghwa might spend three days in Phuket or he might come back later – he went for the first option since the man never took off to gain nothing to return with.

And somehow he felt like he really needed time off, away from his usual life – no paparazzi, no golf round with elite people, no charity event to attend, no one recognized him as the great Jung Yonghwa, no expectation – just be normal, simple, and spontaneous somebody.

“..Let’s just pretend we are the travelers, JongSuk-ah.” Yonghwa told his secretary, LeeJongSuk, who was trusted by his aunt to work close with Yonghwa on the trip abroad and on more personal stuff for such a private boss.

 The man looked to his boss’s way and raised his brows.

“I give you days off from work. Just have fun, ahrasseo?”

“Ahrasseo, hwejangnim.” His secretary replied.

“Relax, just call me Yonghwa, friend. And you don’t have to report it to my imo.” Yonghwa said. LeeJongSuk was his friend back in graduated school in America.

“So it’s the bribe then.” JongSuk smiled to his friend and boss.

“You could say.”

And then they both laughed. On one hand, Yonghwa knew how wicked his imo could be and another he felt grateful for things she had done for him – to protect him and put him in good company. And he knew that his success was never purely his.

“Now tell me - where do we go?”

“Let’s buy you and me some cloth since we have packed nothing and then we go to the hotel. It was already booked as an apologized treat from your partner.”

“I will need to make a call.” Yonghwa told.

“Already prepared.” JongSuk replied as secretary’s ducty.

“How would I survive without you, JongSuk-ah?” Yonghwa jokingly said.

“Yes, you will. You always will.” JongSuk remarked matter of factly. He knew this friend of him already had plan for this weekend – the plan which came unplanned.

“Ahh doesn’t it remind you of those times back in grat school when we went to California beaches on weekend and drank the whole nights?” Yonghwa said with grin while looking at the beach outside the car.

You mean the times when you were the free soul who listened to your gut and always escaped to the unknown?

That was kind of good, JongSuk thought – because that was when he didn’t need to inform Yonghwa what to do nex t on the schedule or where to go next – just let the man decide it on his own.

Somehow Yonghwa felt free, nothing to worry…

Except

.

.

.

.

.

(…It’s okay, samchon. That’s counted only for eating alone. It is no big deal, I can manage.”) SeoJoohyun replied on the phone call.

Somehow he could hear her smile in approval.

(It isn’t like I never eat alone or be alone, right? So fine by me)

“Well…good then.” Was his only remark.

It came to his mind now, that most of time he left the girl alone in his so-called ‘dragon empire’ and just on breakfast or dinner that they could chat about this and that – but nothing much was got out of the conversations like that. He didn’t even know what dish the girl fancied most or what flower she put by her windows.

He used to think he had been doing the good job as her guardian but somehow he just noticed how big the gap between both of them.

The was one thing, and the relative-relationship was there to keep some distance and now, the time gap was so huge – he remembered one night when he went home so late she had waited for him, wanted to know if he had dinner already.

He was grateful that the girl understood his demanded work. Yes, she was. She was the very understanding person on earth.

(Madam-nim is expecting me. Have fun in Phuket, samchon.)

She said last thing before hung up on him.

Yonghwa was left half-way through his word, though he didn’t know exactly what he would say – see you soon, maybe?

He could only sigh off to himself – what else he would expect her to be? She was always fine on her own – with or without him.

A moment passed, some unfamiliar feeling crept inside his chest.

These years of work had him gotten used to follow schedule, ran everything on time, planed everything beforehand….now he tried to remembered the days before his life being immersed in work. What would he do on the trip like this? Where would he go?

What did that website tell him about traveling in Phuket?

Yonghwa looked around his luxurious VVIP hotel villa on the top of mountain with panoramic ocean view. It was breathtaking indeed. But he should not be kept here alone.

Yonghwa decided to go out, LeeJongSuk was tagged along.

They travelled from place to place; they went jet-skiing, parasailing, drove speed boat, went to market, went shopping, had the excellent meal in town, and came back to hotel in the evening.

JongSuk went on the way to his villa separated with Yonghwa. They told jokes and laughed before walking apart – somehow they both were tired.

Yonghwa got inside the room; he threw the shopping bags on the couch and threw himself on the bed. He felt tired of so much adventure in a day and the mix of jetlag perhaps.

At least he told himself, he had fun, hadn’t he?

Finally, he pulled himself from bed to take a shower.

After a while, he came out from bathroom with bathrobes on, the water dripped from his hair. He wandered around the room and TV.

Then the dinner was sent to his room by his secretary’s order. JongSuk knew his boss was as tired as him, and needed some rest – so better to call for dinner.

“Enjoy your meal, hwejang-nim and goodnight.” JongSuk told before left his boss to the meal.

Somehow Yonghwa found the meal lacked of something in a way that had nothing to do with its taste. Yes, it was western dinner style cooked by 5 star chefs, it was delicious but he couldn’t eat much. He had no appetite.

Maybe he was really tired. Or maybe it’s because of the new place, the new taste as well. Or maybe there was no such good company.

Right, there was no reep reep reep sound he grew attracted to.

While waiting for his coffee to get cold, Yonghwa deal his landline to get the information from his head maid. She told Yonghwa what he wanted to know. After that, Yonghwa called the girl on her mobile phone.

(Sa-wad-dee-kaa..Sa-bai-dee-mai-kaa? Sa-nook-mak-mai-kaa?) was some strange words he heard from the line.

He looked at the number on the phone screen again, he was sure he called the right number. And then it came to his mind that Joohyun was a box full of surprise – now she was up to something again, wasn’t she?

So his guess was it might be Thai language she happened to know.

“Good job, you know how to speak Thai, I see.” Yonghwa smiled to no one particularly.

Joohyun giggled in the line. Yonghwa could picture her smiling face. (Do you understand what I said, samchon?) She asked, the brightness was full in her tone.

“What did you say? Even you speak wrong I sure couldn’t tell.” He confessed.

(Ahneyoh, I didn’t speak wrong. I said ‘Hello’, ‘how are you?’ and ‘Did you have fun?”) She clarified.

“Keudae?”

(What are the answers? Reply me in Thai, okay?) She demanded.

“Can’t. Too difficult.” Yonghwa said smilingly.

(Ahhh.. wae keudae? You have the whole day to put on the traveler role, or the explorer, you can at least learn the greeting word.)

“Nope. I spent the whole searching for your souvenir. Won’t you like to hear this?”

(My souvenir? Ah then I say thank you. Khop-khun-kaa)

He couldn’t help but smiled ear to ear for his adorkable Joohyun. Even she didn’t see it.

(And where are the answers? How are you? Now you can reply me in Korean.)

“I’m fine and how’s about you?” Yonghwa replied in English instead.

(I’m doing good, thank you.) She answered in perfect English.

“Wow, good job, SeoJoohyun.” Yonghwa praised and couldn’t stop his smile and his impression.

The conversations paused for awhile before Yonghwa could pull himself together after such the waves of joy hit him repeatedly.

“Did you have dinner already?”

(Yes, and you? How is dinner in Phuket?)

Yonghwa considered the question. “I don’t know. Not as good as home, I guess.” And then he didn’t want to delve into the whys, so he swicht to another topic. “You were hit again, were you?” He asked with concern.

(I won’t tell you. Let’s wait until I get praised then I will let you know for sure.) She said with bright tone still, but it made him feel sorry for her. Somehow he wanted to be there for her and pat her head, watched her face, made sure she was smiling from her heart.

“Why? Why won’t you tell me?”

(Getting hit means I’m not good enough, but being praised mean I do well. When we do well we could brag about it, Am I right?)

But what if you get hit again and again and never get praised? Yonghwa wanted to ask while grabbed his coffee cup to sip to calm himself.

(So to say – I think I’m doing well, too, like this) The girl said.

“Hmm?” Yonghwa wondered why suddenly she felt like praising herself.

(I’m doing well on getting hit, samchon. And I’m worth more of hitting because I can forget what I have been taught about this and that. So don’t you think I’m doing well like this, samchon?)

Doing well on getting hit, huh?

(Besides that, I’m doing well on waiting, too.) She said softly like she wasn’t sure if she should tell him, but she did.

You’re doing well on waiting?

It got yonghwa surprised.

Then Joohyun seemed like she filled herself with enough confidence to go on.

(I had waited there a very long time at the island of the blue dolphins. I had waited until I didn’t want to wait anymore. Then you came along…I thought this was the boat sent to pick me up and at that moment I realized I had been waiting for all these times. Am I doing well on waiting, samchon?) Her tone was full with sadness, he sure knew it.

“Yes, yes, you are. Indeed, SeoJoohyun, you are doing a great job indeed” He praised her and he meant it, wanted to make her feel better. Hearing that made he wanted to be next to her right there right now and stopped her from waiting, stopped it all. He felt like she was faded at another side of the line.

(You asked me if I am lonely. And you? Samchon…) she now asked.

And I what?

(Aren’t you lonely all these times?)

Am I lonely?

(Aren’t you too alone, like me, like madam-nim?)

It was like the sound of silence grew louder in his ears. Never before these questions would cross his mind, that’s why he didn’t know the answer and didn’t want to know. He said nothing until she was the one to break the silence.

(This is worse. I don’t want to be like this - I’m sorry. I had been on my own for a long time but when you appeared, only one day without you….I…I become irrational like this.)

It was like some kind of confession, he knew that but he didn’t know how to react to it. “I will return on Monday, Joohyun-ah. Aren’t you doing well on waiting? Then wait for me until then, okay?”

He could only say that but inside his head – he wished he’d wake up in the morning finding himself at his home where she was.

“I’m the one who needs to say sorry. I didn’t prepare you for my trip abroad. You must be very lonely there.”

(I don’t like this. When I was alone on my island, it didn’t matter much. But now, here, even there are many people around, I feel worse than being alone.)

“I see, you came to realize how lonely you have been through.” Yonghwa tried to figure it out for her.

(Maybe. But what I see is that the universe is so big. And there are many stars and many many more planets. Our planet earth was so lonely because other planets are too far far away, that why people on earth are so lonely.)

Hmm? Now what is this again, SeoJoohyun?

Maybe it was because the girl was so random, so Yonghwa couldn’t care less about the meaning of such tale. But at least, he tried to go along with her, right, he adored her this way.

“And what should we do with such a lonely planet earth, SeoJoohyun?” He asked, wanted to hear how she would come up with her splendid way of thought.

(I don’t have the answer for that, samchon. I don’t know) She told him.

“Well, then I, too, have no idea.”

(I just miss you. With you here, I don’t feel so much lonely.)

The silence filled between the conversations.

He didn’t expect to hear such word.

“So… now you know how useful the phone is for such occasion like this, huh?” He meant to teach her…and then it was really gotten into him. “If you miss me, you should call me first – not just wait for me to call you.”

…He wished she would called him sometimes, she never did.

He didn’t realize it though, how much he wanted to hear her voice and how much he looked forward to be in her company – no need to talk, just be in the tranquil sense of mind.

(..How much does it cost to call from foreign country?) Suddenly she asked.

“Are you going to hang up on me again? Didn’t you say you miss me?”

(I need to put on the role of the planet earth, samchon. Planet earth never has a mobile.)

“Then how does the planet earth deal with loneliness?”

(Just keep missing and sending it outward.)

Before he would reply her with anything, she said the word again…and it was clearer to him.

(I miss you, samchon)

“I know, the lonely little planet earth.”

A/N

I'm sorry I have been on the trip to some foreign country, so I couldn't make any update.

And this chapter, at first, I intended to change and extend it...but then I didn't want to.

So I sticked to the original version mostly. That must be because of my laziness. HAHA

Hope you enjoy and please look forward to next chapter.

Comments are very appreciated

yours truly.