As we came on the stage, we greeted our fans as usual and went to sit, and as always, I made sure that the person next to me was Kyungsoo. We were at our fan signing event and the sight of the fans smiling and cheering loudly in front of us, I knew that was the reason why the person next to me looked especially happy.

Before we started the fan signing event, I was talking to Chen who sat on my left, no matter how many times we’ve been doing this, we were still amazed. I never thought that so many people would like us. I could make them fall for me just with one glance but why was it so hard for him to fall for me?  All I knew was his smile, just with that one smile of his, I fell for him already.

“Are you that happy?” I turned to my right and talked to Kyungsoo who was smiling brightly while waving to his fans. He looked at me, still had a big smile on his face and nodded. I just smiled a little at how cute he was, not wanting to show him too much affection in the public.

“I was wondering why I am doing this…” He said and I looked at him, I understood what he meant, it was a hard job and we were having a hard time as well. As much as we were popular, we have to work just as hard.

“But now I think I find the reason why I’m still doing this.” He smiled and waved to the fans. I just stared at him and amazed, at his beauty and at his sincere words. I knew what he wanted to say. The fans, they were the reason why he kept on enduring all the tiredness and pain.

“Don’t you think it’s too hard?” I asked him, having to smile all the time during the good times or bad times, I found that the hardest.

“It’s not, when you love what you’re doing.” He said and smiled at me before turning back his attention to his fans.

I am not as amazing as you, Do Kyungsoo

And I will never be as amazing as him, unlike him, who went through all the hard work and everything because of his fans, unlike him who was still holding onto this tiring job because of his fans, unlike him who thought of his fans as his only source of happiness, I can never be like him.

Because from the start, the reason why I chose to stay as a trainee when it was really hard for me, the reason why I wanted to do this tiring job, the reason why I wanted to stand on stage so badly, since the beginning it was because of him, Do Kyungsoo.

I grew up wanting to be a singer, to be a star that shines brighter than anyone, I wanted to give up most of the times, because sometimes, it was just too much to handle but at the hardest time, he was there for me, crying with me when it was hard, laughing with me when I was happy and smiling with me when we both got to where we wanted to be, our debut stage. He was there with me since the beginning.

Doing this job, it was harder than what it looked like, it was tiring and you had to really like it to be able to do it. It was hard and it still is but I was fine, I was okay at where I was, because there was him by my side.

He was the happiest when he got to see everyone smiles but I was different, it was more than enough for me just his smile alone. I wouldn’t ask for more to be happy.

And unlike before when I dreamed to shine brighter than anyone, right now, I dreamed even bigger, I wanted to be the only one that shines in his eyes.

During the fan signing, I noticed that there were so many Hunhan, Kaisoo and Baekyeol shippers; it wasn’t hard to tell as they were holding banners as big as them. I was just smiling all the times even though I was quite sad, sad that there were so many Kaisoo shippers and sad that I was shipped with Chanyeol instead of the person I love.

One by one, I was smiling at them and signed for them, it was fun being close to our fans once in a while, they seemed to like us a lot, and I wondered why they like us so much when they barely know us. It was amazing how you can love someone so much even though you never got to see the person in real life. And now imagine me, how much I must love that little creeper when I got to see him every singles days.

“D.O. oppa and Baekhyun oppa are so cute together.” One girl said to us and she was smiling brightly and for the first time of the day I was smiling this widely. I was grinning ear to ear at what she said. Kyungsoo was just as surprised as me when he heard what she said; she was the first to actually say that that day.

“I just love you guys bickering each other. Baeksoo Jjang!”  She cheered and I laughed as well as Kyungsoo. I didn’t know