I held it in for two long and I thought I should do something about it. The answer he gave me was clear enough but I couldn’t help but acted dumb, not wanting to understand what he said. Without myself knowing, I became so shameless, because of him, I became a thick-skinned person. But I didn’t care anyway, not that I usually cared either.

I asked Kyungsoo if he wanted to hang out with me that day and he agreed. Sometimes I didn’t understand him at all, how could he act like nothing happened when many things happened? How could he act like he was fine when he totally wasn’t? I knew he heard my phone conversation with my mom. It was obvious that he heard it but he just acted like he wasn’t.

I took him to everywhere he wanted and we were having so much fun and for a moment, I could forget all my problems and my pain. When he was by my side, everything seemed to be so bright to me. Just looking at his smile alone already made my entire day and it didn’t take long for me to fall in love with him over and over again.

After playing for a while, Kyungsoo whined that he was hungry so I took him to a BBQ restaurant and we went to the VIP room as we didn’t want to be interrupted. We were just sitting there waiting for the meats to cook. I was staring at Kyungsoo but he was just staring at the meats with a smile. But it wasn’t exactly a smile.

“Who is the girl that your mom talked about?” Kyungsoo said lowly, eyes still on the meats. I knew he heard the conversation. I just knew it. He asked me but I didn’t want to answer him at all. I didn’t want to talk about someone else when we were together. But I guessed he really wanted to know.

“The daughter of her close friend.” I told him, not feeling that great and he just smiled faintly. He nodded a little and still not looking at me. I didn’t want him to know much about that person because for some reason, he seemed hurt when I mentioned her.

“Your mom wants you to marry her, right?” Kyungsoo continued to ask and I just didn’t understand him. Why would he want to know? If he told me to marry her, I will hate him forever. He better not did that to me, if he did, he must be the cruelest person ever.

“I won’t marry her.” I told him and he looked up and stared at my face a little before facing the meats again. There was no way I will marry that person, she wasn’t the person I would want to spend my life with. And Kyungsoo should know that well.

“Why not?” He asked me and I just stared at him unbelievably. Did he really need to ask? Did he really not know the reason or what? Obviously because I loved him. I didn’t say anything and just cooked the meats. He noticed that I didn’t answer him and he stared at me blankly. I avoided eyes contact with him because I knew that if I looked into his eyes, I had no choice but to do whatever he wanted.

“Answer me!” He demanded and I just looked at him. I looked at him hurt and I didn’t think I could do this anymore. I just stood up from my chair and was about to walk out of the room. But Kyungsoo came after me and hugged me from behind, not letting me get away any farther.

I felt like I was going to break down at that moment. Why did he do that to me? He pushed me away when I got closer to him but now that I was to get away from him, he held me tight not letting me go. Do Kyungsoo, you cruel person! I wanted to hate him so much but my stupid heart never listened and only wanted him.

I just stood there as he hugged my waist tight, I didn’t have the heart to walk away from him. I wished he would hold me forever and never let go. Please don’t let go of me, Kyungsoo. If only I could freeze time, I would. I would do anytime just for us to be together but I wasn’t confident at all. Not when he kept pushing me away.

“Because I love you, idiot.” I told him and broke the hug. I turned to face him and his eyes were red as if he was going to cry. And once again, my heart broke at the sight of him so hurt and broken. I felt bad for wanting to leave him there, I knew he fears of being alone and yet I was about to leave him all alone. I couldn’t help myself abut hugged him tight, I couldn’t stand seeing him like that. I hate seeing him cry but for some reason, I was always the reason behind his tears.

“I’m sorry.” I murmured softly and Kyungsoo just hugged me back. We just stayed like that for a while and my heart ached as I thought of us. Why must it be so hard for us to be together? Did Luhan hyung and Sehun experience something like we did? Were they hurt like this as well? From what I know, it was so easy for them to be together but why? Why was it so hard for us just to be with each other?

“But your mom wants you to marry her.” He murmured sadly and I just broke the hug and stared at his face and so as he, without myself knowing, I just leaned in and kissed his soft lips. I didn’t care how he was going to react; I just couldn’t control myself anymore. I didn’t care if he was going to hit me or punch me or strangle him; I just wanted to feel his lips at that moment.

But contrary to what I thought, he just kissed me back and I felt myself smiling during the kiss. Everything just felt so right at that moment; it felt like there were just both of us in this huge world. I wished we could stay like this forever, no one to bother us, no reality that hurt us, no one to judge us. Kyungsoo pulled away as he ran out of breath, he just looked down shyly, not wanting to face me. I just smiled at his cute self.

“If I have to marry someone, that person has to be you.” I answered him and he just glanced at me quickly and I just laughed at his reaction. I held his hand and brought him back to the table. I made him sat down and I sat down as well.

“Let’s eat.” I said, smiling and he just nodded and ate whatever I fed him. I just smiled at him and I thought I was crazy. How can I be so happy when I was about to break down just minutes ago? Do Kyungsoo was the reason, if he continued to do that. I will go crazy sooner or later.

“I didn’t know you’re a good kisser.” I remarked and Kyungsoo just looked up and glared at me as if he was going to cook me along with the meats. He was all shy just then and now he showed his real self again, horror Kyungsoo.

“Yah!” He said scarily and I just whimpered because of his voice. I acted all scared and he just glared at me. I was just smiling as I was having fun teasing him. But it wasn’t the surprising that he could kiss well though, with those lips of his; I could tell that he is a good kisser, if I knew it felt that good kissing him, I would do that long ago.

After we ate, I said I would take him somewhere, he asked me where and I said it was a secret. He was all curious and it was fun seeing him like that. I still didn’t know what this guy in front of me did to me to make me fell for him this deep but I wouldn’t even complain.<